Any Funny Dating Stories to Share, Family or Yours?

[haha]

At age 17 I went out with my cousin and 2 other guys (all aged 17) to the local town about 6 miles away on a blind date with 4 nurses that a relative knew and had set up. The nurses were all from a much classier upbringing than we 3 "pit-yakkers", and by the end of the evening we'd spent all our money including the cab fare home (they paid their own cab fare). The night club closed at 2am, well past the times of the buses.

We set off walking home, trying to hitch a lift as we walked - something we had done many times. A truck did stop and give us a lift - it was a closed in type of truck but open at the back with a tailgate. We were belting down the dual carriageway (speed limit was 70mph) when one of my friends jumps up and shouts "We're being kidnapped!!". He runs to the end of the truck and jumps out. I can still hear the sickening crunch as he hit the road - more a sort of splat than a crunch.

We hammered on the cab for the driver to stop, and when he did we jumped out and told him what had happened. He wanted nothing to do with it and roared off, leaving us to walk back and look for our friend. We walked back and found blood on the road but no sign of him. It was a beautifull full moon night and along side the road was a field of wheat (or barley) and we could hear some sounds and see the wheat moving, so we went to investigate. There was our friend face down in the field swimming breast stroke and singing. We picked him up and saw that his clothes were badly ripped and he was covered in blood. So we walked him to his house which was now only about a mile away and woke his parents up. They took him off to the Emergency Room and he was back at school on Monday, badly scraped and bruised but no broken bones.

A nice footnote to the story is that my cousin had a follow up date, and later married his nurse, and they have been happily married ever since. We visit them most every time we are in England and I'm also back in touch with my truck jumping friend which is why this story is fresh in my mind.

Lord, you Northerners are sturdy drinkers!

 

[Alan]

Lord, you Northerners are sturdy drinkers!

That they are

A little off topic but my BIL had a similar experience when he was in his 40's. They live in Edinburgh (he's from Northern England like me and DW) and SIL got a phone call one Friday afternoon to say that he was going to be late as he was stopping off for a drink with the lads after work. A couple of hours later the phone rang again and one of their son's took the call. It was from a man who had just run him over and was taking him to the hospital

As BIL tells it, he had a few pints and was leaving the pub, stepping out from behind a stationary bus when he sees a car heading straight for him and he thinks, "That car's ganna hit me!!". Next thing he remembers is waking up behind the car. He was hit hard enough that he went over the top, landed behind the trunk and lost conscious briefly. At the hospital he was checked over and discharged with scrapes and bruises only. His briefcase was destroyed and he was most upset about that as it was his government issued briefcase with the letters OHMS emblazoned on the front (he was a senior civil servant). He said that for all the people he knew with such a briefcase, OHMS stood for "Only Holds My Sandwiches".

 

[Nords]

A nice footnote to the story is that my cousin had a follow up date, and later married his nurse, and they have been happily married ever since.

Good thing he married a medical professional... although that doesn't quite explain why she married him...

 

[Moemg]

Alan , Your stories win the coveted Early Retirement dating sagas award ! The prize is a cruise to Hawaii . You need to contact the bosses of Early retirement to find out the specifics !

 

[ls99]

Not quiet a dating story but close. In my youth went to a halloween party, a voluptuous lady dressed as superwoman caught my eye, I have met her in passing at work. Well, we talked, danced etc. late she decided it was time to go, quiet well tanked. As she headed out the door, she turned around and said: above all one must have dignity, turned again and fell flat on her face. Her bumpers protected her from facial damage. She could not have driven, her girl friend had her car keys.

We packed her in her friend's car's back seat and off they went.

Some days later we met in the cafeteria, did some more chatting. I did not bring up the dignity incident. After weeks went by, I needed a ride, she happened to volunteer. So she drove us in her MGB, smallest car I ever rode in. It was a stick shift. As we were going along, commented on the masterful handling of the car, she did downshift at all the right times and places on the steep winding road.

Fast forward to some other party months later. During some conversation with a bunch of other people, she stood real close and announced, check this out, I busted my ass for many years to get my Phd, and he is impressed by my ability to handle the gearshift, and know how to downshift. The laughing by all went on for a good while. We are friends.

 

[Alan]

Good thing he married a medical professional... although that doesn't quite explain why she married him...

He did have lots of other redeeming features including being drop dead handsome and very charming (still is) but, unlike some of us, never got out of his heavy drinking ways. Over the last 7 years he has had multiple heart attacks and had the paddles used on him 3 or 4 times. When we stand next to each other these days you wouldn't believe that he was once a terrific sportsman and signed up by a big professional soccer team at 16. (his career was ruined a few months later by a horrible knee injury and he ended up down the pit as a miner).

 

[FinanceDude]

I really wish I could post some other dating escapades..............

 

[Alan]

Alan , Your stories win the coveted Early Retirement dating sagas award ! The prize is a cruise to Hawaii . You need to contact the bosses of Early retirement to find out the specifics !

Thank you - Hawaii is one of my favorite places to visit

However, I have held back my most embarrassing dates which I thought about overnight and decided, "what the heck", if I'm going to show myself up it may as well be in front of a crowd of anonymous friends on the internet. I even screwed up THE biggest date of my life - my wedding day.

We were married while working our way through university which meant moving between cities 3 or more times every year and we were in transition between cities after finishing year 3, to work 3 months before moving again to start our final year. (ie - I did have a lot on my mind ). DW2B's family lived in Manchester, my family lived 120 miles away on the opposite coast and we were of course married in Manchester and got to her folks' house a week beforehand for final wedding preparations. My brother was my best man and he arrived the day before the wedding. The rest of my extended family hired a coach and came on the day of the wedding - they loaded up with several crates of beer so were "well oiled" on arrival but that wasn't an issue, everyone got on just great and they all had a fantastic day.

The problem happened at 7pm the night before the wedding. I got out DW's wedding ring to show my brother only to find that when I opened the ring box that it was empty I couldn't find it anywhere and concluded that it must have somehow dropped out and was probably retrievable but could be in 2 possible locations in 2 different cities

Now, 2 months earlier while visiting my folks my Dad had accidentally thrown her engagement ring into the coal fire on his way to work one morning and by the time we discovered what had happened it had been completely destroyed. So now we faced the wedding day with my fiancée completely ring-less

What to do? Well, my years of training kicked in and I went down the pub with my brother and soon to be FIL. Beer cures everything and when we got back we found that DW2B and MIL2B had spent a long time with lots of soap and water and managed to get MIL2B's ring off her finger. So, we got married next day as planned with MIL wearing gloves to hide the lily white ring of flesh where her wedding ring would normally reside.

In the attached photo from the day, MIL is saying to DW, "That ring looks very familiar".

 

[FinanceDude]

Alan, you have the best stories..........

 

[Alan]

Alan, you have the best stories..........

Thanks - if I work up enough courage I'll relate some more embarrassing dating stories - probably need some meds to steady the nerves though

 

[Nords]

I even screwed up THE biggest date of my life - my wedding day.

I was a best man once. Just once.

We were all junior officers at the Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey in 1988. The groom's classmates arranged what developed into at an out-of-control bachelor party (yeah, I know, redundant) while spouse attended an extremely uneventful bachelorette's party. We guys were in a huge A-frame waterfront house with a glass wall overlooking the beach road. Around 1 AM, shortly after the second stripper showed up, I looked out the window to see a line of cars backed up along the side of the road-- just enjoying the show. One of them was a local police cruiser but they were content to just keep an eye on the situation, so to speak.

When I staggered home (around 4 AM, a few hours before showtime) I compared notes with spouse. My side of the story started with "Wow, [-]they were[/-] it was awesome!" and furnished a full (*ahem*) blow-by-blow report. Spousal hilarity ensued, along with other things, and we eventually tried to [-]sober up[/-] catch up on our sleep.

The groom, returning home to report the same night's activities to his cohabitating fiancée, said "Oh, it was nothing special." (Funny, it didn't appear to be "nothing special" when the stripper was slicing him out of his underwear with her scissors. But I digress.) I think they both tried to [-]sober up[/-] catch up on their sleep too (the groom & bride, not the stripper).

Later that pre-nuptial morning in the synagogue, with the rabbi and both families and 100+ guests all standing by in various degrees of [-]inebriation hangovers[/-] anticipation, the bride was fussing with her attire and asked my spouse "So, how did your husband enjoy last night?" My spouse replied "It was awesome!" and repeated my full report.

Chaos ensued. The wedding eventually proceeded but in retrospect it shouldn't have.

 

[bbbamI]

Thanks - if I work up enough courage I'll relate some more embarrassing dating stories - probably need some meds to steady the nerves though

Harummmmphhhh....

Ok so in February 1977 a new bridge was completed connecting Dyersburg TN to MO. Since not much happened around our area, driving over the new bridge brought much excitement to us.

So, dh2b, another couple and I decided to make the journey late one Saturday afternoon. Before we got there, I decided we needed to do something that would enable us to make the christening of the bridge more memorable. We should ride over the bridge naked...yeah that was it! So with the heater on full blast, clothes being yanked off while sitting and a full case of oil in the back (for the Vega), we all stripped down. Funny thing is, I don't remember what was playing on the radio.

Y'all want pics....here ya go....

 

[W2R]

Alan, did you ever find the ring? Did you buy her a new one after the wedding? What a nightmare!

 

[ksr]

My (now ex-) husband and I had only been dating a short while when we went to dinner at a nice restaurant one evening. I guess we were very caught up in our conversation, and looking at each other, and one of us absent-mindedly moved the bread basket aside. A couple of minutes later we heard the other diners shouting to "throw water on it", and we then realized they were shouting at us. We had moved the basket a little too close to the candle and it was on fire! Thankfully we did manage to put the fire out without any damage.

 

[Martha]

Alan, I have to say that your MIL's hat is a sight to behold.

 

[FinanceDude]

Harummmmphhhh....

Ok so in February 1977 a new bridge was completed connecting Dyersburg TN to MO. Since not much happened around our area, driving over the new bridge brought much excitement to us.

So, dh2b, another couple and I decided to make the journey late one Saturday afternoon. Before we got there, I decided we needed to do something that would enable us to make the christening of the bridge more memorable. We should ride over the bridge naked...yeah that was it! So with the heater on full blast, clothes being yanked off while sitting and a full case of oil in the back (for the Vega), we all stripped down. Funny thing is, I don't remember what was playing on the radio.

Y'all want pics....here ya go....

Not the pics I was looking for.........

 

[bbbamI]

Not the pics I was looking for.........

Ok darlin'...I didn't know you were into bridges. So here...this is just for you....

 

[FinanceDude]

Ok darlin'...I didn't know you were into bridges. So here...this is just for you....

I got plenty of bridges where I live. The car pic is cool....but, let me guess, no photos of the actual event captured for all eternity?

 

[audreyh1]

Alan, I have to say that your MIL's hat is a sight to behold.

Oh! I thought that was the Queen!

Audrey

 

[Alan]

Chaos ensued. The wedding eventually proceeded but in retrospect it shouldn't have.

And are they still married?

The stag night sounded like a hoot.

Mine was a couple of weeks before the wedding just after the last lectures of the semester. Nothing out of the ordinary for a stag night. Woke up next day in a room with a few mates, the mandatory stolen police cones as trophies of the walk home. I couldn't remember about how the skin on my fingers was shredded or where the painful rashes on my arms had from until one of my mates said "you don't remember being chased by that police car?"

Then I recalled how I'd run down a dead end and scaled a tall chain link fence and dropped into a field on the other side in which was growing stinging nettles

No chance or attempt to hide tales from DW as all my friends were her friends (she was the only female in a class of 55 EE students). She was just pleased I hadn't badly injured myself

 

[Alan]

Harummmmphhhh....

Ok so in February 1977 a new bridge was completed connecting Dyersburg TN to MO. Since not much happened around our area, driving over the new bridge brought much excitement to us.

So, dh2b, another couple and I decided to make the journey late one Saturday afternoon. Before we got there, I decided we needed to do something that would enable us to make the christening of the bridge more memorable. We should ride over the bridge naked...yeah that was it! So with the heater on full blast, clothes being yanked off while sitting and a full case of oil in the back (for the Vega), we all stripped down. Funny thing is, I don't remember what was playing on the radio.

Y'all want pics....here ya go....

Now, that is a date to remember

 

[Alan]

Alan, did you ever find the ring? Did you buy her a new one after the wedding? What a nightmare!

Yes, we did find the ring and she still has it today. Once we'd graduated, bought a house and got some money saved up I also bought a replacement engagement ring.

Alan, I have to say that your MIL's hat is a sight to behold.

Not half!!

It was interesting that all the women on DW's side of the family wore hats and none of the women on my side wore one so a complete stranger looking at our wedding photos could see which family the women belonged to

 

[bbbamI]

I got plenty of bridges where I live. The car pic is cool....but, let me guess, no photos of the actual event captured for all eternity?

There might be one or two....but since I enjoy this forum I shall refrain from posting said photos as they would be considered naughty....

 

[Alan]

There might be one or two....but since I enjoy this forum I shall refrain from posting said photos as they would be considered naughty....

You'd better PM them to the Moderator team and we'll look them over and let you know if you can post them

 

[bbbamI]

You'd better PM them to the Moderator team and we'll look them over and let you know if you can post them

Why...that is so gracious of you kind suh.... But first I'll wait a day or two so y'all can be fully prepared...