Any Funny Dating Stories to Share, Family or Yours?

[Nords]

I met my spouse because I majored in chemistry. Hot chicks dig lab geeks.

Back in the college days we spent hours every weekend on USNA buses traveling to away football games and drum/bugle corps shows. One bus was usually designated for partying sleeping and the other for studying. The study bus had a number of subject-matter experts on call and I was the chemistry guy. Spouse had the worst instructor in the entire history of humankind chemistry department along with a miserable grade, and we spent a lot of time together. She ended up with a "B" and a few years later we ended up married (to each other). Three decades later she says she's still trying to decide who got the better end of the deal. I tell her "Me, too." At this point our kid usually leaves the room making gagging noises, which is the whole reason for bringing up the subject in the first place.

These days we tell our daughter that there are better ways to get help with her homework... and for gosh sakes' don't stoop to dating a sailor.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galahad You can find out a lot about a person immediately after you've given them a little snoot full of ice cream

You're lucky that you didn't find at least one of them leaning seductively over to you-- and gently ramming the rest of that cone up your own snoot!

[audreyh1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nords I met my spouse because I majored in chemistry. Hot chicks dig lab geeks. Back in the college days we spent hours every weekend on USNA buses traveling to away football games and drum/bugle corps shows. One bus was usually designated for partying sleeping and the other for studying. The study bus had a number of subject-matter experts on call and I was the chemistry guy. Spouse had the worst instructor in the entire history of humankind chemistry department along with a miserable grade, and we spent a lot of time together. She ended up with a "B" and a few years later we ended up married (to each other). Three decades later she says she's still trying to decide who got the better end of the deal. I tell her "Me, too." At this point our kid usually leaves the room making gagging noises, which is the whole reason for bringing up the subject in the first place.

Wow - lucky for you she needed a "chemistry guy"!

DH always wanted a technical (i.e. engineering type) SO. Lucky for me I guess! Not to many of us ladies out there with engineering degrees.

Of course, being only one of 5 girls in the entire BSEE program in the late 1970s was interesting! I think the guys were relieved that finally! some gals had shown up. I was happy because I found these engineering type guys a lot easier to talk to than the guys I went to high school with.

Audrey

[freebird5825]

I'll provide the gory details about dh2b's and my first meeting...turn the sands of time back 4+ years ago.

The Place: An annual clambake sponsored by his w*rkplace, held at a local American Legion post. I'm an Auxiliary member and a regular volunteer.
The Cast: Myself and a female friend who twisted my arm for a month to even attend. I was there for the cheap lobster and all day shrimp and clams, not to meet men. She was there for...oh, I almost forgot...lots of men, some single, some divorced, some married.
The Plot: My female friend knows dh2b vaguely, but says hello to him. We are introduced. I tell him I am an Engineer, which usually sends them running. I showed him my business card to prove it. We talk for 4 hours. His cow*rkers later tell me they were laughing at the sight of someone who could talk more than he could, and that we were so engrossed that people had to walk around us.
I decided to hand him back my business card and told him if he ever wanted to go to lunch, just call me at w*rk. I did not flirt with him.
It took another cow*rker a few weeks' time, armed with a virtual brick to his head, to convince him that my business card was a "sign". He finally got with the program and emailed me at w*rk.
The day we met for lunch happened to be the same day I had to go over to the dealer to pay the balance due on my new car. So I suggested he take a short ride with me on this "errand".
I didn't tell him it was a brand new 2005 convertible Mustang with a 5 speed.
You should have seen his face when he saw my new car being detailed for a few more days ahead delivery.
So he obviously liked "the package" - my brain, my car, and my...ahem...3D assets.
In which order is still TBD.
I thought he was cute, of course, and really liked the fact that I could be myself and not have to "dumb it down".
The rest is history...

[bbbamI]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa Best date shake I ever had was here. I was exhausted afterward -- didn't think I could finish but I persevered and it all worked out.

I learn so much here.....thanks Rich.

I do suppose it's all about quenching the thirst.

[Alan]

At age 17 I went out with my cousin and 2 other guys (all aged 17) to the local town about 6 miles away on a blind date with 4 nurses that a relative knew and had set up. The nurses were all from a much classier upbringing than we 3 "pit-yakkers", and by the end of the evening we'd spent all our money including the cab fare home (they paid their own cab fare). The night club closed at 2am, well past the times of the buses.

We set off walking home, trying to hitch a lift as we walked - something we had done many times. A truck did stop and give us a lift - it was a closed in type of truck but open at the back with a tailgate. We were belting down the dual carriageway (speed limit was 70mph) when one of my friends jumps up and shouts "We're being kidnapped!!". He runs to the end of the truck and jumps out. I can still hear the sickening crunch as he hit the road - more a sort of splat than a crunch.

We hammered on the cab for the driver to stop, and when he did we jumped out and told him what had happened. He wanted nothing to do with it and roared off, leaving us to walk back and look for our friend. We walked back and found blood on the road but no sign of him. It was a beautifull full moon night and along side the road was a field of wheat (or barley) and we could hear some sounds and see the wheat moving, so we went to investigate. There was our friend face down in the field swimming breast stroke and singing. We picked him up and saw that his clothes were badly ripped and he was covered in blood. So we walked him to his house which was now only about a mile away and woke his parents up. They took him off to the Emergency Room and he was back at school on Monday, badly scraped and bruised but no broken bones.

A nice footnote to the story is that my cousin had a follow up date, and later married his nurse, and they have been happily married ever since. We visit them most every time we are in England and I'm also back in touch with my truck jumping friend which is why this story is fresh in my mind.

[haha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alan At age 17 I went out with my cousin and 2 other guys (all aged 17) to the local town about 6 miles away on a blind date with 4 nurses that a relative knew and had set up. The nurses were all from a much classier upbringing than we 3 "pit-yakkers", and by the end of the evening we'd spent all our money including the cab fare home (they paid their own cab fare). The night club closed at 2am, well past the times of the buses. We set off walking home, trying to hitch a lift as we walked - something we had done many times. A truck did stop and give us a lift - it was a closed in type of truck but open at the back with a tailgate. We were belting down the dual carriageway (speed limit was 70mph) when one of my friends jumps up and shouts "We're being kidnapped!!". He runs to the end of the truck and jumps out. I can still hear the sickening crunch as he hit the road - more a sort of splat than a crunch. We hammered on the cab for the driver to stop, and when he did we jumped out and told him what had happened. He wanted nothing to do with it and roared off, leaving us to walk back and look for our friend. We walked back and found blood on the road but no sign of him. It was a beautifull full moon night and along side the road was a field of wheat (or barley) and we could hear some sounds and see the wheat moving, so we went to investigate. There was our friend face down in the field swimming breast stroke and singing. We picked him up and saw that his clothes were badly ripped and he was covered in blood. So we walked him to his house which was now only about a mile away and woke his parents up. They took him off to the Emergency Room and he was back at school on Monday, badly scraped and bruised but no broken bones. A nice footnote to the story is that my cousin had a follow up date, and later married his nurse, and they have been happily married ever since. We visit them most every time we are in England and I'm also back in touch with my truck jumping friend which is why this story is fresh in my mind.

Lord, you Northerners are sturdy drinkers!

[Alan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by haha Lord, you Northerners are sturdy drinkers!

That they are

A little off topic but my BIL had a similar experience when he was in his 40's. They live in Edinburgh (he's from Northern England like me and DW) and SIL got a phone call one Friday afternoon to say that he was going to be late as he was stopping off for a drink with the lads after work. A couple of hours later the phone rang again and one of their son's took the call. It was from a man who had just run him over and was taking him to the hospital

As BIL tells it, he had a few pints and was leaving the pub, stepping out from behind a stationary bus when he sees a car heading straight for him and he thinks, "That car's ganna hit me!!". Next thing he remembers is waking up behind the car. He was hit hard enough that he went over the top, landed behind the trunk and lost conscious briefly. At the hospital he was checked over and discharged with scrapes and bruises only. His briefcase was destroyed and he was most upset about that as it was his government issued briefcase with the letters OHMS emblazoned on the front (he was a senior civil servant). He said that for all the people he knew with such a briefcase, OHMS stood for "Only Holds My Sandwiches".

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alan A nice footnote to the story is that my cousin had a follow up date, and later married his nurse, and they have been happily married ever since.

Good thing he married a medical professional... although that doesn't quite explain why she married him...

[Moemg]

Alan , Your stories win the coveted Early Retirement dating sagas award ! The prize is a cruise to Hawaii . You need to contact the bosses of Early retirement to find out the specifics !

[ls99]

Not quiet a dating story but close. In my youth went to a halloween party, a voluptuous lady dressed as superwoman caught my eye, I have met her in passing at work. Well, we talked, danced etc. late she decided it was time to go, quiet well tanked. As she headed out the door, she turned around and said: above all one must have dignity, turned again and fell flat on her face. Her bumpers protected her from facial damage. She could not have driven, her girl friend had her car keys.

We packed her in her friend's car's back seat and off they went.

Some days later we met in the cafeteria, did some more chatting. I did not bring up the dignity incident. After weeks went by, I needed a ride, she happened to volunteer. So she drove us in her MGB, smallest car I ever rode in. It was a stick shift. As we were going along, commented on the masterful handling of the car, she did downshift at all the right times and places on the steep winding road.

Fast forward to some other party months later. During some conversation with a bunch of other people, she stood real close and announced, check this out, I busted my ass for many years to get my Phd, and he is impressed by my ability to handle the gearshift, and know how to downshift. The laughing by all went on for a good while. We are friends.

[Alan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nords Good thing he married a medical professional... although that doesn't quite explain why she married him...

He did have lots of other redeeming features including being drop dead handsome and very charming (still is) but, unlike some of us, never got out of his heavy drinking ways. Over the last 7 years he has had multiple heart attacks and had the paddles used on him 3 or 4 times. When we stand next to each other these days you wouldn't believe that he was once a terrific sportsman and signed up by a big professional soccer team at 16. (his career was ruined a few months later by a horrible knee injury and he ended up down the pit as a miner).

[FinanceDude]

I really wish I could post some other dating escapades..............

[Alan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moemg Alan , Your stories win the coveted Early Retirement dating sagas award ! The prize is a cruise to Hawaii . You need to contact the bosses of Early retirement to find out the specifics !

Thank you - Hawaii is one of my favorite places to visit

However, I have held back my most embarrassing dates which I thought about overnight and decided, "what the heck", if I'm going to show myself up it may as well be in front of a crowd of anonymous friends on the internet. I even screwed up THE biggest date of my life - my wedding day.

We were married while working our way through university which meant moving between cities 3 or more times every year and we were in transition between cities after finishing year 3, to work 3 months before moving again to start our final year. (ie - I did have a lot on my mind ). DW2B's family lived in Manchester, my family lived 120 miles away on the opposite coast and we were of course married in Manchester and got to her folks' house a week beforehand for final wedding preparations. My brother was my best man and he arrived the day before the wedding. The rest of my extended family hired a coach and came on the day of the wedding - they loaded up with several crates of beer so were "well oiled" on arrival but that wasn't an issue, everyone got on just great and they all had a fantastic day.

The problem happened at 7pm the night before the wedding. I got out DW's wedding ring to show my brother only to find that when I opened the ring box that it was empty I couldn't find it anywhere and concluded that it must have somehow dropped out and was probably retrievable but could be in 2 possible locations in 2 different cities

Now, 2 months earlier while visiting my folks my Dad had accidentally thrown her engagement ring into the coal fire on his way to work one morning and by the time we discovered what had happened it had been completely destroyed. So now we faced the wedding day with my fiancée completely ring-less

What to do? Well, my years of training kicked in and I went down the pub with my brother and soon to be FIL. Beer cures everything and when we got back we found that DW2B and MIL2B had spent a long time with lots of soap and water and managed to get MIL2B's ring off her finger. So, we got married next day as planned with MIL wearing gloves to hide the lily white ring of flesh where her wedding ring would normally reside.

In the attached photo from the day, MIL is saying to DW, "That ring looks very familiar".

[FinanceDude]

Alan, you have the best stories..........

[Alan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by FinanceDude Alan, you have the best stories..........

Thanks - if I work up enough courage I'll relate some more embarrassing dating stories - probably need some meds to steady the nerves though

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alan I even screwed up THE biggest date of my life - my wedding day.

I was a best man once. Just once.

We were all junior officers at the Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey in 1988. The groom's classmates arranged what developed into at an out-of-control bachelor party (yeah, I know, redundant) while spouse attended an extremely uneventful bachelorette's party. We guys were in a huge A-frame waterfront house with a glass wall overlooking the beach road. Around 1 AM, shortly after the second stripper showed up, I looked out the window to see a line of cars backed up along the side of the road-- just enjoying the show. One of them was a local police cruiser but they were content to just keep an eye on the situation, so to speak.

When I staggered home (around 4 AM, a few hours before showtime) I compared notes with spouse. My side of the story started with "Wow, they were it was awesome!" and furnished a full (*ahem*) blow-by-blow report. Spousal hilarity ensued, along with other things, and we eventually tried to sober up catch up on our sleep.

The groom, returning home to report the same night's activities to his cohabitating fiancée, said "Oh, it was nothing special." (Funny, it didn't appear to be "nothing special" when the stripper was slicing him out of his underwear with her scissors. But I digress.) I think they both tried to sober up catch up on their sleep too (the groom & bride, not the stripper).

Later that pre-nuptial morning in the synagogue, with the rabbi and both families and 100+ guests all standing by in various degrees of inebriation hangovers anticipation, the bride was fussing with her attire and asked my spouse "So, how did your husband enjoy last night?" My spouse replied "It was awesome!" and repeated my full report.

Chaos ensued. The wedding eventually proceeded but in retrospect it shouldn't have.

[bbbamI]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alan Thanks - if I work up enough courage I'll relate some more embarrassing dating stories - probably need some meds to steady the nerves though

Harummmmphhhh....

Ok so in February 1977 a new bridge was completed connecting Dyersburg TN to MO. Since not much happened around our area, driving over the new bridge brought much excitement to us.

So, dh2b, another couple and I decided to make the journey late one Saturday afternoon. Before we got there, I decided we needed to do something that would enable us to make the christening of the bridge more memorable. We should ride over the bridge naked...yeah that was it! So with the heater on full blast, clothes being yanked off while sitting and a full case of oil in the back (for the Vega), we all stripped down. Funny thing is, I don't remember what was playing on the radio.

Y'all want pics....here ya go....

[W2R]

Alan, did you ever find the ring? Did you buy her a new one after the wedding? What a nightmare!

[ksr]

My (now ex-) husband and I had only been dating a short while when we went to dinner at a nice restaurant one evening. I guess we were very caught up in our conversation, and looking at each other, and one of us absent-mindedly moved the bread basket aside. A couple of minutes later we heard the other diners shouting to "throw water on it", and we then realized they were shouting at us. We had moved the basket a little too close to the candle and it was on fire! Thankfully we did manage to put the fire out without any damage.

[Martha]

Alan, I have to say that your MIL's hat is a sight to behold.