Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 10-02-2008, 12:37 AM   #21
Moderator Emeritus
laurence's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 5,234
This guy got pretty flustered!

I am the subject (victim?) of frequent flirting and that was definitely it. I say victim because I know I give off a huge "HARMLESS" pheromone and they are just practicing.

With guys it's simple. But women are more complicated. Sometimes they respond to your question, hold the door, do you a favor, act interested in what you have to say....just because it's a nice thing to do!
__________________

__________________
laurence is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 10-02-2008, 03:14 AM   #22
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 346
I have got to agree with not being sure if a girl is flirting with me or not!


I have experienced everything from what would land a guy in prison for 50 years on sexual assault charges from girls. To girls who seemed to ignore me that I found out later wanted to go out with me.

Unless someone makes a really obvious move like asking me to go out with them or of course just pounces on me I'm not really sure.

I have never been mean to anyone that I found out liked me....I wish I could say it worked that way the other way around!

So sometimes I want to just make sure before I make a move.

One time when I was like 12 I went to a catholic school dance and I asked a girl to dance with me. I think my exact words and only words were "you wanna dance" She just turned her back on me and for the next three hours of the dance her boyfriend was trying to get me to go outside so he could "kill" me. You wouldn't think any girl could be that mean....but they can!

I have had girls come up and do what I considered flirting then tell me they have a boyfriend.....and do the exact same thing the next time they saw me.

One other thing that gets ignored in public opinion that I have experienced is SOME females have VERY powerful sex drives.


Jim
__________________

__________________
summer2007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 07:48 AM   #23
Moderator Emeritus
Rich_by_the_Bay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 8,827
Quote:
Originally Posted by SecondCor521 View Post
Like harley said: If a guy is talking to you and doesn't have a good reason to, he's flirting, or at least what passes for flirting for guys.
Not so much nowadays for me. I went over to the campus bookstore over my lunch hour, and after grabbing a sandwich I went outdoors to find a table. None were free so I asked a co-ed if I could share some table space with her and she agreed. I more or less thanked her with a "beautiful day" type comment and we struck up a pleasant conversation. She was maybe 25, very pretty and outgoing. We talked about school, what she wants to major in and career aspirationis; she asked me what I did, etc.

All very avuncular, without a hint of flirting. But it was a charming part of my day. Now 30 years ago....
__________________
Rich
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
Rich_by_the_Bay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 07:52 AM   #24
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,074
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa View Post
We talked about school, what she wants to major in and career aspirationis...
Doc, is "career aspirationis" the medical term for "I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life"?
__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 08:22 AM   #25
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
HFWR's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 12,964
Quote:
Originally Posted by thefed View Post
Oh, this one girl was putting her...ummm...heart into it i guess. she REALLY wanted more of my money...$5 lapdances - ya cant go wrong! I can only imagine what $20 gets me in the back room...
Twenty bucks? Pffft...

Maria Sharapova could be yours for a cool $10,000 - Y! Sports Blogs - Yahoo! Sports
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire

...not doing anything of true substance...
HFWR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 08:30 AM   #26
Moderator Emeritus
Rich_by_the_Bay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 8,827
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
Doc, is "career aspirationis" the medical term for "I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life"?


Not in her case, at least: she wanted to be a CPA.
__________________
Rich
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
Rich_by_the_Bay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 08:49 AM   #27
gone traveling
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 3,864
Quote:
Originally Posted by thefed View Post
i saw a mating dance the other day....my buddy and i were at the strip club though so it was expected.
Didn't you just get married? Sounds like the honeymoon is already over. :-(
__________________
Westernskies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 09:01 AM   #28
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
Yeah, but what do you do if you see tan lines....on the finger?
Assume he's married..........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 09:05 AM   #29
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by thefed View Post
i saw a mating dance the other day....my buddy and i were at the strip club though so it was expected.
Did you enjoy the $20 cover and the $10 watered-down drinks??
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 09:07 AM   #30
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
I suppose women look at it differently, but I have observed how both sexes do it, and women are in a different league than men, they are professionals.......
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 09:44 AM   #31
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude View Post
I suppose women look at it differently, but I have observed how both sexes do it, and women are in a different league than men, they are professionals.......
Yeah, we take the $20 and go to school................
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 09:51 AM   #32
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,380
Quote:
Originally Posted by summer2007 View Post
One other thing that gets ignored in public opinion that I have experienced is SOME females have VERY powerful sex drives.
Jim
Make it your goal to get to know as many of these as you can.

If she is in the mood, a high sex woman can put you in the hospital without breaking a sweat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude View Post
I suppose women look at it differently, but I have observed how both sexes do it, and women are in a different league than men, they are professionals.......
Even when they are working on other professionals. About 20 years ago I saw on PBS an adaptation of a Colette story about a young woman sitting in an outdoor cafe who gets dumped by her boyfriend. Pretty soon a late 40s attractive woman takes a place at her table. They are strangers, but the older woman has seen what has happened. She comforts the young woman; she is totally understanding and empathic. Before we know it, something other than distress starts to show on the young woman's face.

Before long they leave arm in arm.

I know guys who try this ploy, but they usually can't keep the drool off the table so they often manage to mess it up. And it is horrible to witness. But who can fail to appreciate absolute mastery?

ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 10:18 AM   #33
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
Make it your goal to get to know as many of these as you can.

If she is in the mood, a high sex woman can put you in the hospital without breaking a sweat.
I knew I few when I was single.........

Quote:
Even when they are working on other professionals. About 20 years ago I saw on PBS an adaptation of a Colette story about a young woman sitting in an outdoor cafe who gets dumped by her boyfriend. Pretty soon a late 40s attractive woman takes a place at her table. They are strangers, but the older woman has seen what has happened. She comforts the young woman; she is totally understanding and empathic. Before we know it, something other than distress starts to show on the young woman's face.

Before long they leave arm in arm.
That's hot.........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 12:28 PM   #34
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
SecondCor521's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boise
Posts: 2,401
@RIT, good point, and thanks for the vocabulary word; it will come in handy.

Aside to the women: For a gentleman seeking respectful, old-fashioned female companionship but who also recognizes situations where he is romantically (vs. platonically) interested in someone, which is the best route from the female's point of view:

1. Waiting to see, listening for clues, or asking her friends if she is "taken" or "available" before asking her out. (Checking for a wedding band or engagement ring is a given.)

2. Asking her out directly with an effort to indicate that his intentions are romantic in nature, which may result in the "Thanks, but I have a boyfriend" reply (which may or may not be true, but the gentleman gives her the benefit of the doubt).

3. Asking her out to platonic/romantic ambiguous situations such as coffee or lunch and hope that she drops enough clues along the way for the gentleman to discern her romantic situation. (Cue the Frasier episode for those familiar.)

At least one guy I know would be interested in understanding this whole section of the landscape a little better.

2Cor521
__________________
"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough, and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact be the first steps of a journey." Violet Baudelaire.
SecondCor521 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 01:42 PM   #35
Moderator Emeritus
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pine Island, Florida
Posts: 6,868
Send a message via AIM to Khan
Quote:
Originally Posted by SecondCor521 View Post
@RIT, good point, and thanks for the vocabulary word; it will come in handy.

Aside to the women: For a gentleman seeking respectful, old-fashioned female companionship but who also recognizes situations where he is romantically (vs. platonically) interested in someone, which is the best route from the female's point of view:

1. Waiting to see, listening for clues, or asking her friends if she is "taken" or "available" before asking her out. (Checking for a wedding band or engagement ring is a given.)

2. Asking her out directly with an effort to indicate that his intentions are romantic in nature, which may result in the "Thanks, but I have a boyfriend" reply (which may or may not be true, but the gentleman gives her the benefit of the doubt).

3. Asking her out to platonic/romantic ambiguous situations such as coffee or lunch and hope that she drops enough clues along the way for the gentleman to discern her romantic situation. (Cue the Frasier episode for those familiar.)

At least one guy I know would be interested in understanding this whole section of the landscape a little better.

2Cor521
Personally, I'd say #3; and I would ask you what you had in mind. But then, I've been told I 'think like a man'.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 02:30 PM   #36
Moderator Emeritus
CuppaJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: At The Cafe
Posts: 6,866
SO and I went to an “it’s my birthday, come see my new apt.” cocktail party the other day. Turned out to be mostly twently-something couples claiming to have high-powered globe-trotting jobs. Most of the talk was about how people met each other. SO and I met the year before the hostess was born. The sexual vibes in the room were off-the-charts. SO and I, being the resident old foggies, left as soon as appropriate but just in time to meet a strikingly beautiful women who lit up the room, fashionably late, flirting doesn’t begin to describe it, she did everything right, could carry on without offending the women, amazing.

I can’t think of a better argument against age-segregated communities.
__________________
CuppaJoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 05:38 PM   #37
Full time employment: Posting here.
GoodSense's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by SecondCor521 View Post

1. Waiting to see, listening for clues, or asking her friends if she is "taken" or "available" before asking her out. (Checking for a wedding band or engagement ring is a given.)

2. Asking her out directly with an effort to indicate that his intentions are romantic in nature, which may result in the "Thanks, but I have a boyfriend" reply (which may or may not be true, but the gentleman gives her the benefit of the doubt).

3. Asking her out to platonic/romantic ambiguous situations such as coffee or lunch and hope that she drops enough clues along the way for the gentleman to discern her romantic situation. (Cue the Frasier episode for those familiar.)
2Cor521
I prefer #2, although #3 is OK. Recently I found myself in a situation where I was merely being friendly (or maybe a little too friendly) and was taken as being flirtatious; he didn't even notice that I was wearing a wedding band. For me, it's more awkward to have to tell someone you are attached at a coffee/lunch than to say straight out that I am not available.

Of course the best scenario would be that a guy would still want to be a platonic friend even after finding out I am married. Alas, I've found that most guys I met aren't that interested in just friendship.
__________________
GoodSense is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 06:22 PM   #38
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,380
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoodSense View Post
Of course the best scenario would be that a guy would still want to be a platonic friend even after finding out I am married. Alas, I've found that most guys I met aren't that interested in just friendship.
I think older single men in particular should definitely be interested in platonic friendships with women. Women are very good friends to have. Once you start sleeping with your friend you are on a slide toward committment, and if you pull back you are likely to lose the friend.

I am always open to friendships with women because I like them and enjoy their way of seeing the world. But for some women at least who are in my basic age class, there is really only one thing I can do for them that they are not already getting from their girlfriends.

It's not that I am clueless enough to think there are not a lot of sexual substitutes for a man out there, it's just that most of them while effective are not exactly charming.

It is tricky, but I have a few married women friends and I appreciate them very much. There must also be a lot of single women around who are not interested in "a relationship", but they aren't too easy to find. Sometimes it is clear that if I am not pushing toward sex, the woman is not thinking, "Oh he really finds me interesting but not in a sexual way"- she is thinking , "Oh he must not like me. Next! "

Another thing is that for most men I think, very few women are actually sexually unattractive if you like them as people. So the decision not to pursue sex might be more based on what do you have going elsewhere, what are the risks to that, how demanding is this woman likely to be, etc, etc.

Another awkward thing that can arise is if you are getting real romantically friendly with one woman, she is sometimes a little put off by your other women friends who maybe are not really sure that they are planning to stay platonic. Nobody likes long dry spells, so we tread carefully around these issues.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 06:38 PM   #39
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 826
Quote:
Originally Posted by laurencewill View Post
With guys it's simple. But women are more complicated. Sometimes they respond to your question, hold the door, do you a favor, act interested in what you have to say....just because it's a nice thing to do!
Yes, it's shame that women in general are so immature and unevolved relative to men.
__________________
socca is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2008, 07:25 PM   #40
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
BunsGettingFirm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,502
Quote:
Originally Posted by summer2007 View Post

One time when I was like 12 I went to a catholic school dance and I asked a girl to dance with me. I think my exact words and only words were "you wanna dance" She just turned her back on me and for the next three hours of the dance her boyfriend was trying to get me to go outside so he could "kill" me. You wouldn't think any girl could be that mean....but they can!
These kinds of girls grow up to be the ones who file sexual harassment suits at the drop of a dime. Stay away from them, and bring a gun to deal with the boyfriend.


Quote:

I have had girls come up and do what I considered flirting then tell me they have a boyfriend.....and do the exact same thing the next time they saw me.

Jim
What? You flirted with her and then told her that you have a boyfriend? Sorry, too good to pass up.
__________________

__________________
BunsGettingFirm is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Am I a loner because I enjoy solitude and is that okay? BillNOVA Life after FIRE 53 10-06-2008 08:33 AM
Do you enjoy time w/ your family? kz Other topics 11 04-30-2006 09:47 AM
How much do you need a month to life and enjoy? newguy88 FIRE and Money 77 03-30-2006 09:28 PM
Modulators, enjoy my sabbatical OldAgePensioner Other topics 117 03-28-2006 01:36 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:14 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.