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Old 10-02-2008, 07:29 PM   #41
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Not in her case, at least: she wanted to be a CPA.
Wow, my type of woman. Smart, pretty, and good with a balance sheet.
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Old 10-02-2008, 07:42 PM   #42
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Thanks for the comments. Khan, I like your directness, but I find it to be a rare attribute among women I have met. Goodsense, it is unfortunate that the dating game is so often fraught with intentions that are misunderstood, but personally I wouldn't miss a wedding band!

I tried route #3 with someone and it didn't end up well. The ambiguity (or cluelessness on my part) lasted too long and eventually I got a "Not sure what your intentions are, but I have a boyfriend", which was awkward for all involved as this was after several lunches.

As a guy I prefer option #2 simply because it's more direct and it gives her the information she needs to make a decision (at least a preliminary one). I can see how it can be uncomfortable for her in that case -- most of the women I've polled seem to go to great lengths to avoid hurting a guy's feelings. In my case that's too bad because I'm to the point where I can handle the rejection. It helps that in many cases I'm then able to switch to the platonic track relatively easily.

Actually, I try option #1 for a short while and then option #2 if there is no outward signs of a SO/husband/boyfriend.

2Cor521
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Old 10-02-2008, 11:14 PM   #43
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As a guy I prefer option #2 simply because it's more direct and it gives her the information she needs to make a decision (at least a preliminary one). I can see how it can be uncomfortable for her in that case -- most of the women I've polled seem to go to great lengths to avoid hurting a guy's feelings. In my case that's too bad because I'm to the point where I can handle the rejection. It helps that in many cases I'm then able to switch to the platonic track relatively easily.
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2Cor521, I think we can get along. I guess there are women who like ambiguity but for me it's too much of a waste of time and energy, guessing what the other's intention is. I would rather be uncomfortable for 10 minutes than for several days or weeks.

Ha, thanks for the words of wisdom. I should probably stop hanging out with 25-year-old guys who only have one thing on their minds. I think sex really messes up things. It's probably the biggest enemy to having a meaningful friendship. Once you go there you can never go back to being friends, and emotions tend to replace intelligence, even for otherwise completely reasonable people.
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Old 10-03-2008, 12:02 AM   #44
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2Cor521, I think we can get along. I guess there are women who like ambiguity but for me it's too much of a waste of time and energy, guessing what the other's intention is. I would rather be uncomfortable for 10 minutes than for several days or weeks.
I bet we could.

I think the women who prefer ambiguity probably are really preferring to avoid the conflict / hurting the guy's feelings. Or maybe they just haven't made their mind up about the guy. Or both.

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Old 10-03-2008, 01:04 AM   #45
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Sounds good! I think I am more in the camp of "thinking like a man" sometimes.

On a side note, this is really the greatest forum ever. Need advice or just a sympathetic ear to issues on money, workplace, romance, weight loss, home repair, travel, or crystal clear vision after yoga? You've come to the right place!
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Old 10-03-2008, 04:05 AM   #46
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[quote=BunsGettingFirm;724647]These kinds of girls grow up to be the ones who file sexual harassment suits at the drop of a dime. Stay away from them, and bring a gun to deal with the boyfriend.

I know! I totally agree! That is the #1 thing that will make me loose all interest in someone is if they are a malicious person....I won't want anything to do with them.

Also false accusers are a big pet peeve of mine to say the least. If you ever had someone falsely accuse you, you probably know why. And in our sick twisted society it's pretty much perfectly legal to falsely accuse someone of anything you want. You could loose everything you have and even go to prison for life. And if it's proven they lied...you will be lucky if they serve one day in jail. I think it's one of the most malicious and sickest things you can do to someone and should carry a VERY heavy penalty..it would if I made the laws. But this is another thread,...it would probably be a good one.


One thing I agree with is that the girls you hang out with can chase other girls away. One of my best girl friends slept around incessantly and some girls thought she was my girlfriend....this doesn't help!

I didn't catch on to this for years until I heard one too many negative comments about her. But I loved her personality and we still hung out all the time. But I'm sure it cost me some opportunities.

Also some of the girls I hung out with scared other girls because they were like 5-9 to 6-2 and it kept other girls away. So did one of my buddies girlfriends...she was like a thug!

So yeah if you hang around the wrong girls IMO it can chase other girls away.

Jim
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