Article: Retirement savings lost to a Scam

[Seeking Hobbes]

Online Dating Scam: 'Military Guy' Steals Nearly $500,000 from Widow - ABC News

Whenever I read stories like this, my reaction is split between feeling immense sorrow for the victim and, almost equally, wondering how/why anyone would allow themselves to be conned like this.

Being single myself, closing in on 50, I know something about the struggle of "dating" at this stage of life. In fact, some of my biggest regrets are the relationships I failed to pursue half a lifetime ago. That being said, I can't even imagine the pain and loneliness of being single after losing your beloved. Certainly that leaves a person vulnerable.

Still, what are people thinking?

The Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3), a government organization that refers cyber crime complaints to law enforcement agencies, says people 40 and older who are divorced, widowed, or disabled are most likely to fall prey to online dating scams.

I suppose this isn't a recent phenomenon... only the tools (internet, etc.) have changed.
Nonetheless, I'll always think twice about "lending" money to anyone and NEVER do so if I'm not prepared to kiss it goodbye without regret.

 

[Moemg]

Whenever I read stories like this, my reaction is split between feeling immense sorrow for the victim and, almost equally, wondering how/why anyone would allow themselves to be conned like this.

The first two years of widowhood you are slightly crazy and very vulnerable so I can see it happening but it's sad . Maybe if she had waited a year or so before beginning her search this would not have happened but she rushed into dating with her eyes closed but her pocketbook open .

 

[FIREd]

Our need for love and companionship makes us do stupid things.

 

[growing_older]

she was recently laid off from her job as a financial analyst after 17 years with the same company.

She presumably had some financial background and experience to have been in this line of work for 17 years, but must have been swept up in so desperately wanting the emotional connection that the analytical thinking got suspended until she was more of less out of money. She never spoke to the guy, just exchanged written texts and emails, yet sent him her life savings, including cashing out retirement accounts.

 

[W2R]

Sad, sad story. Scam artists and con men do target widows and elderly women with money. I have never known any who didn't know that and behave accordingly, though. What a disaster.

 

[donheff]

Summary for those who don't want top read the whole article is that she was romanced by an online con man she never met or talked to and evaporated her savings to help him with his plans to import cars, etc. Sad.

 

[Alan]

Summary for those who don't want to read the whole article is that she was romanced by an online con man she never met or talked to and evaporated her savings to help him with his plans to import cars, etc. Sad.

Thanks for the summary - much appreciated

 

[NW-Bound]

Not a country music listener, but I still remember hearing this song on the radio a few years back.

"I'd turn to a stranger just like a friend
'Cause I was looking for love in all the wrong places
Lookin' for love in all too many faces..."​

JOHNNY LEE ~ LOOKING FOR LOVE [LYRICS] - YouTube

 

[ziggy29]

My emphasis added:

Sad, sad story. Scam artists and con men do target widows and elderly women with money.

It goes both ways -- men aren't always the perps. My widowed father-in-law was the victim of a scam artist -- she used aliases to hide a criminal record for fraud a mile long -- who left him in tens of thousands in debt and with a criminal conviction.

 

[W2R]

My emphasis added:



It goes both ways -- men aren't always the perps. My widowed father-in-law was the victim of a scam artist -- she used aliases to hide a criminal record for fraud a mile long -- who left him in tens of thousands in debt and with a criminal conviction.

Absolutely!!! That is so true; women aren't the only targets of scams and con artists. I guess I am more aware of the effects on women, because I am a woman and it is scary to me to think that I could be a target one day.

Lots of older, wealthy men get victimized by golddiggers who flatter them and take their money. I see it every day - - some old guy in his 50's or 60's, who is dating a golddigger in her 20's and thinks it is because he "still has it". Yeah, right!

 

[Nuiloa]

Being single myself, closing in on 50, I know something about the struggle of "dating" at this stage of life. In fact, some of my biggest regrets are the relationships I failed to pursue half a lifetime ago. That being said, I can't even imagine the pain and loneliness of being single after losing your beloved. Certainly that leaves a person vulnerable..

I've been happily solo my entire life. I dated when I was younger but I finally clued in at age 28 that I had no interest in marriage or children, so I stopped dating. Now that I'm pushing 60, my siblings suddenly think I need companionship. I told them they were crazy if they thought I'd be sharing my hard-earned pension with anyone AND looking after some senile old guy after I finally got free from w*rk. If I want committed companionship, I'll get a dog.

But I do feel sorry for people like this woman. You have to wonder if she lived in a cave, though..... we're warned daily about every scam on the planet. Still, I guess if you get lonely enough...

 

[Nuiloa]

Reminds me of a former neighbor who liked 'bad boys'. She was working her way up in the insurance world when she met the man of her dreams. He was in jail for domestic abuse, but, of course, he was innocent. They were engaged within a week. Within a month of his getting out of jail, he blew through her savings, maxed out her credit cards and caused her to lose her job (for company theft of services - he was using her company cell phone for long distance charges). He then wrapped her car around a tree and was busted for possession of cocaine. They arrested him at a motel, where he was with another woman.

She asked me for money to help with his defense. I said no. Thus ended the friendship.

 

[haha]

Absolutely!!! That is so true; women aren't the only targets of scams and con artists. I guess I am more aware of the effects on women, because I am a woman and it is scary to me to think that I could be a target one day.

Lots of older, wealthy men get victimized by golddiggers who flatter them and take their money. I see it every day - - some old guy in his 50's or 60's, who is dating a golddigger in her 20's and thinks it is because he "still has it". Yeah, right!

If faced by an interested, young, and pretty woman I plan to ask myself: If I were a young pretty woman, would I be interested in me? I think the answer is clearly no way José.

Ha

 

[haha]

She asked me for money to help with his defense.

But really, isn't love grand?

Ha

 

[W2R]

If faced by an interested, young, and pretty woman I plan to ask myself: If I were a young pretty woman, would I be interested in me? I think the answer is clearly no way José.

Ha

When I was in my early 20's, I dated an "old guy" in his 40's just once. At first I thought he was intriguing because he probably knew so much more about life than I did. I didn't expect him to ask me out, so when he did, in my surprise I accepted. But after that first date, I discovered that I felt he was physically repulsive. From my vantage point, he might as well have been 105 years old as far as physical attraction went. Ewwww.... his flesh just... wasn't... young and firm... And he was in good shape for his age!

Now, I prefer men close to my age just as I did then.

 

[haha]

From my vantage point, he might as well have been 105 years old as far as physical attraction went. Ewwww.... his flesh just... wasn't... young and firm... And he was in good shape for his age!

Now, I prefer men close to my age just as I did then.

Really, as people with a few miles on us we are appreciative of similar aged lovers who do their best with what they have, and that can be very very good.

But sometimes I come across an old photo of myself and think, Oh damn!, too bad about all that water that has passed under the bridge.

Ha

 

[Mulligan]

Really, as people with a few miles on us we are appreciative of similar aged lovers who do their best with what they have, and that can be very very good.

But sometimes I come across an old photo of myself and think, Oh damn!, too bad about all that water that has passed under the bridge.

Ha

This makes me remember, my past and laugh about it. When I got divorced in my mid 30's , I settled into dating mostly 21-24 year olds until I turned 40. They were good looking, but the most important thing to me at that time was they had no kids! Then I remember a lady I started dating asked me how old I was. I told her 41. She said, she had never went out with anyone that was THAT old. I asked her what her age was and she said 30. I told her we already had something in common,as I had never dated anyone as old as her! I am now fortunate to be dating someone about my age. I would never date anyone younger anymore. I appreciate common reference points that people of similiar age have. A relationship has to have more than just a pretty face attached to it.

 

[obgyn65]

For one person willing to talk about her story to the media, hundreds of other cases go unreported...

Online Dating Scam: 'Military Guy' Steals Nearly $500,000 from Widow - ABC News

Whenever I read stories like this, my reaction is split between feeling immense sorrow for the victim and, almost equally, wondering how/why anyone would allow themselves to be conned like this.

 

[youbet]

Absolutely!!! That is so true; women aren't the only targets of scams and con artists. I guess I am more aware of the effects on women, because I am a woman and it is scary to me to think that I could be a target one day.

Lots of older, wealthy men get victimized by golddiggers who flatter them and take their money. I see it every day - - some old guy in his 50's or 60's, who is dating a golddigger in her 20's and thinks it is because he "still has it". Yeah, right!

If it happens to a woman, she's been "conned" by an evil crook.

If it happens to a man, he's an old fool who let some young babe take advantage of him.

But either way, the man is guilty. It's part of our culture.

 

[Moemg]

For one person willing to talk about her story to the media, hundreds of other cases go unreported...

Absolutely and a lot of widows and widowers are taken advantage of by friends or family while they are still in the vulnerable stage .

 

[MichaelB]

Absolutely and a lot of widows and widowers are taken advantage of by friends or family while they are still in the vulnerable stage .

+1

I bet family members taking advantage of other family is many times bigger than con artists.

 

[toofrugalformycat]

If it happens to a woman, she's been "conned" by an evil crook.

If it happens to a man, he's an old fool who let some young babe take advantage of him.

But either way, the man is guilty. It's part of our culture.

A woman is conned by an evil crook.
A man is conned by a gold-digger. Gold-digger = evil crook.
Our culture has a specific name for that particular type of female crook.

 

[Chuckanut]

I know a person whose elderly father married a gold digger. By accident they found out she had talked him into changing his will leaving everything to her. And if she died first, everything went to HER children. They convinced him to divorce her, but the entire marriage cost him 1/2 his assets.

 

[Seeking Hobbes]

I know a person whose elderly father married a gold digger. By accident they found out she had talked him into changing his will leaving everything to her. And if she died first, everything went to HER children. They convinced him to divorce her, but the entire marriage cost him 1/2 his assets.

(apologies for a long post... I had to vent a little)

After my mother passed away, my elderly father was left extremely vulnerable. Since my siblings and I were all grown and spread across the country, it was difficult to help. Of course, immediately following mom's death, we each begged dad to move close to one of us... but he wasn't willing to do so. So when a widow (close to his age) stormed into his life, he was sucked in. They were engaged within 6 months of my mother's funeral and married a few months after that.

Everyone was shocked and worried... but what could we do? My dad, for his part, established a prenup and laid out all of his estate and financial wishes before the wedding. He even called a meeting with his estate attorney and we were all informed of his plans. All was good, fairly allocated and communicated.

Within two years... the prenup was thrown out... the will was changed... a new estate attorney was found... and my father's wife (along with her son, an estate lawyer himself) systematically ingratiated and enriched their family's position.

Whenever my siblings and I asked for an "estate planning update"... my father's wife, understandably and vehemently, blocked our attempts. Finally, we convinced my father to do so and discovered the extent of her manipulations. Still... these were his "wishes" (albeit coerced). What could we do other than ask for transparency? My thought was... "turn on the light and the rats may stop nibbling."

In his final days, frail and weak, my father (knowing his wife was out of the room) apologized for the changes to his estate. He hinted that he was bullied by her family, but asked that we not fight over his final plans. So we didn't... even when we found out that she withdrew a huge amount from his portfolio during the last year of his life.

I'll never understand people like my dad's wife (she really was a horrible woman)... and find that my own ability to trust people is diminished greatly.

Like the woman in the news article, though, I feel both sorrow and disappointment for my father. He should have seen through the woman crashing into his life, ultimately I think he did. His penance for not doing so earlier, however, was to be nagged and bullied to his grave by a miserable troll of a woman.

 

[Texas Proud]

Reminds me of a former neighbor who liked 'bad boys'. She was working her way up in the insurance world when she met the man of her dreams. He was in jail for domestic abuse, but, of course, he was innocent. They were engaged within a week. Within a month of his getting out of jail, he blew through her savings, maxed out her credit cards and caused her to lose her job (for company theft of services - he was using her company cell phone for long distance charges). He then wrapped her car around a tree and was busted for possession of cocaine. They arrested him at a motel, where he was with another woman.

She asked me for money to help with his defense. I said no. Thus ended the friendship.

Yea.... I had a friend who also got scammed... but not quite as bad as this one....

But, we went out to dinner the day before she was being evicted from her house for not paying rent...

Now, this guy did not have a job... was sleeping with anothe woman who had a kid with him... stole from her, had her pick up drugs for him, etc. etc. etc... I said 'he lied to you, he cheated on you and he stole from you, why would you want to be with him'.... her response... 'because we had sex 5 times yesterday'.... WOW...

This gal also stopped seeing her family because her parents and siblings would not let her bring the guy over... it took her another two years to figure it out... I only hear about her now because her brother is my best friend...