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Article: Retirement savings lost to a Scam
11-09-2011, 07:33 AM
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#1
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 103
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Article: Retirement savings lost to a Scam
Online Dating Scam: 'Military Guy' Steals Nearly $500,000 from Widow - ABC News
Whenever I read stories like this, my reaction is split between feeling immense sorrow for the victim and, almost equally, wondering how/why anyone would allow themselves to be conned like this.
Being single myself, closing in on 50, I know something about the struggle of "dating" at this stage of life. In fact, some of my biggest regrets are the relationships I failed to pursue half a lifetime ago. That being said, I can't even imagine the pain and loneliness of being single after losing your beloved. Certainly that leaves a person vulnerable.
Still, what are people thinking?
Quote:
The Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3), a government organization that refers cyber crime complaints to law enforcement agencies, says people 40 and older who are divorced, widowed, or disabled are most likely to fall prey to online dating scams.
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I suppose this isn't a recent phenomenon... only the tools (internet, etc.) have changed.
Nonetheless, I'll always think twice about "lending" money to anyone and NEVER do so if I'm not prepared to kiss it goodbye without regret.
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11-09-2011, 08:17 AM
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#2
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeking Hobbes
Whenever I read stories like this, my reaction is split between feeling immense sorrow for the victim and, almost equally, wondering how/why anyone would allow themselves to be conned like this.
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The first two years of widowhood you are slightly crazy and very vulnerable so I can see it happening but it's sad . Maybe if she had waited a year or so before beginning her search this would not have happened but she rushed into dating with her eyes closed but her pocketbook open .
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11-09-2011, 08:33 AM
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#3
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 12,901
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Our need for love and companionship makes us do stupid things.
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11-09-2011, 08:34 AM
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#4
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,657
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Quote:
she was recently laid off from her job as a financial analyst after 17 years with the same company.
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She presumably had some financial background and experience to have been in this line of work for 17 years, but must have been swept up in so desperately wanting the emotional connection that the analytical thinking got suspended until she was more of less out of money. She never spoke to the guy, just exchanged written texts and emails, yet sent him her life savings, including cashing out retirement accounts.
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11-09-2011, 10:36 AM
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#5
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Sad, sad story. Scam artists and con men do target widows and elderly women with money. I have never known any who didn't know that and behave accordingly, though. What a disaster.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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11-09-2011, 11:11 AM
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#6
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Summary for those who don't want top read the whole article is that she was romanced by an online con man she never met or talked to and evaporated her savings to help him with his plans to import cars, etc. Sad.
__________________
Idleness is fatal only to the mediocre -- Albert Camus
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11-09-2011, 01:18 PM
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#7
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Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: N. Yorkshire
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Quote:
Originally Posted by donheff
Summary for those who don't want to read the whole article is that she was romanced by an online con man she never met or talked to and evaporated her savings to help him with his plans to import cars, etc. Sad.
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Thanks for the summary - much appreciated
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Retired in Jan, 2010 at 55, moved to England in May 2016
Enough private pension and SS income to cover all needs
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11-09-2011, 04:50 PM
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#8
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Not a country music listener, but I still remember hearing this song on the radio a few years back.
"I'd turn to a stranger just like a friend
'Cause I was looking for love in all the wrong places
Lookin' for love in all too many faces..."
__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man" -- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)
"Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities Can Make You Commit Atrocities" - Voltaire (1694-1778)
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11-09-2011, 04:58 PM
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#9
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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My emphasis added:
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
Sad, sad story. Scam artists and con men do target widows and elderly women with money.
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It goes both ways -- men aren't always the perps. My widowed father-in-law was the victim of a scam artist -- she used aliases to hide a criminal record for fraud a mile long -- who left him in tens of thousands in debt and with a criminal conviction.
__________________
"Hey, for every ten dollars, that's another hour that I have to be in the work place. That's an hour of my life. And my life is a very finite thing. I have only 'x' number of hours left before I'm dead. So how do I want to use these hours of my life? Do I want to use them just spending it on more crap and more stuff, or do I want to start getting a handle on it and using my life more intelligently?" -- Joe Dominguez (1938 - 1997)
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11-09-2011, 05:04 PM
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#10
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ziggy29
My emphasis added:
It goes both ways -- men aren't always the perps. My widowed father-in-law was the victim of a scam artist -- she used aliases to hide a criminal record for fraud a mile long -- who left him in tens of thousands in debt and with a criminal conviction.
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Absolutely!!! That is so true; women aren't the only targets of scams and con artists. I guess I am more aware of the effects on women, because I am a woman and it is scary to me to think that I could be a target one day.
Lots of older, wealthy men get victimized by golddiggers who flatter them and take their money. I see it every day - - some old guy in his 50's or 60's, who is dating a golddigger in her 20's and thinks it is because he "still has it". Yeah, right!
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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11-09-2011, 05:36 PM
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#11
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 496
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeking Hobbes
Being single myself, closing in on 50, I know something about the struggle of "dating" at this stage of life. In fact, some of my biggest regrets are the relationships I failed to pursue half a lifetime ago. That being said, I can't even imagine the pain and loneliness of being single after losing your beloved. Certainly that leaves a person vulnerable..
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I've been happily solo my entire life. I dated when I was younger but I finally clued in at age 28 that I had no interest in marriage or children, so I stopped dating. Now that I'm pushing 60, my siblings suddenly think I need companionship. I told them they were crazy if they thought I'd be sharing my hard-earned pension with anyone AND looking after some senile old guy after I finally got free from w*rk. If I want committed companionship, I'll get a dog.
But I do feel sorry for people like this woman. You have to wonder if she lived in a cave, though..... we're warned daily about every scam on the planet. Still, I guess if you get lonely enough...
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Inside me is a skinny person crying to get out, but I can usually shut the b*tch up with cookies
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11-09-2011, 05:41 PM
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#12
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: May 2011
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Reminds me of a former neighbor who liked 'bad boys'. She was working her way up in the insurance world when she met the man of her dreams. He was in jail for domestic abuse, but, of course, he was innocent. They were engaged within a week. Within a month of his getting out of jail, he blew through her savings, maxed out her credit cards and caused her to lose her job (for company theft of services - he was using her company cell phone for long distance charges). He then wrapped her car around a tree and was busted for possession of cocaine. They arrested him at a motel, where he was with another woman.
She asked me for money to help with his defense. I said no. Thus ended the friendship.
__________________
Inside me is a skinny person crying to get out, but I can usually shut the b*tch up with cookies
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11-09-2011, 05:44 PM
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#13
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
Absolutely!!! That is so true; women aren't the only targets of scams and con artists. I guess I am more aware of the effects on women, because I am a woman and it is scary to me to think that I could be a target one day.
Lots of older, wealthy men get victimized by golddiggers who flatter them and take their money. I see it every day - - some old guy in his 50's or 60's, who is dating a golddigger in her 20's and thinks it is because he "still has it". Yeah, right!
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If faced by an interested, young, and pretty woman I plan to ask myself: If I were a young pretty woman, would I be interested in me? I think the answer is clearly no way José.
Ha
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"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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11-09-2011, 05:46 PM
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#14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nuiloa
She asked me for money to help with his defense.
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But really, isn't love grand?
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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11-09-2011, 05:52 PM
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#15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
If faced by an interested, young, and pretty woman I plan to ask myself: If I were a young pretty woman, would I be interested in me? I think the answer is clearly no way José.
Ha
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When I was in my early 20's, I dated an "old guy" in his 40's just once. At first I thought he was intriguing because he probably knew so much more about life than I did. I didn't expect him to ask me out, so when he did, in my surprise I accepted. But after that first date, I discovered that I felt he was physically repulsive. From my vantage point, he might as well have been 105 years old as far as physical attraction went. Ewwww.... his flesh just... wasn't... young and firm... And he was in good shape for his age!
Now, I prefer men close to my age just as I did then.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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11-09-2011, 06:01 PM
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#16
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
From my vantage point, he might as well have been 105 years old as far as physical attraction went. Ewwww.... his flesh just... wasn't... young and firm... And he was in good shape for his age!
Now, I prefer men close to my age just as I did then.
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Really, as people with a few miles on us we are appreciative of similar aged lovers who do their best with what they have, and that can be very very good.
But sometimes I come across an old photo of myself and think, Oh damn!, too bad about all that water that has passed under the bridge.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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11-09-2011, 06:20 PM
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#17
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
Really, as people with a few miles on us we are appreciative of similar aged lovers who do their best with what they have, and that can be very very good.
But sometimes I come across an old photo of myself and think, Oh damn!, too bad about all that water that has passed under the bridge.
Ha
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This makes me remember, my past and laugh about it. When I got divorced in my mid 30's , I settled into dating mostly 21-24 year olds until I turned 40. They were good looking, but the most important thing to me at that time was they had no kids! Then I remember a lady I started dating asked me how old I was. I told her 41. She said, she had never went out with anyone that was THAT old. I asked her what her age was and she said 30. I told her we already had something in common,as I had never dated anyone as old as her! I am now fortunate to be dating someone about my age. I would never date anyone younger anymore. I appreciate common reference points that people of similiar age have. A relationship has to have more than just a pretty face attached to it.
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11-10-2011, 01:11 AM
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#18
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
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For one person willing to talk about her story to the media, hundreds of other cases go unreported...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeking Hobbes
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__________________
Very conservative with investments. Not ER'd yet, 48 years old. Please do not take anything I write or imply as legal, financial or medical advice directed to you. Contact your own financial advisor, healthcare provider, or attorney for financial, medical and legal advice.
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11-10-2011, 07:44 AM
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#19
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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Location: Chicago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
Absolutely!!! That is so true; women aren't the only targets of scams and con artists. I guess I am more aware of the effects on women, because I am a woman and it is scary to me to think that I could be a target one day.
Lots of older, wealthy men get victimized by golddiggers who flatter them and take their money. I see it every day - - some old guy in his 50's or 60's, who is dating a golddigger in her 20's and thinks it is because he "still has it". Yeah, right!
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If it happens to a woman, she's been "conned" by an evil crook.
If it happens to a man, he's an old fool who let some young babe take advantage of him.
But either way, the man is guilty. It's part of our culture.
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"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
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11-10-2011, 07:44 AM
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#20
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Gone but not forgotten
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by obgyn65
For one person willing to talk about her story to the media, hundreds of other cases go unreported...
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Absolutely and a lot of widows and widowers are taken advantage of by friends or family while they are still in the vulnerable stage .
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