Useful Links

Chuckanut · 10-11-2019, 10:25 AM

Where are from? Talk to a citizen of New Mexico and you will get some interesting stories.

Quote:

TOUGH PILL TO SWALLOW
While staying in upstate New York, Rio Rancho resident Dick Blinzler tried to get a prescription refilled at Walmart but was surprised when the pharmacist told him she couldn’t refill orders from out of the country. A gentle correction that both he and the prescription were from the United States wasn’t enough, Blinzler says. “She had to call a co-worker over to verify New Mexico was really a state.”

https://www.newmexico.org/nmmagazine...50-is-missing/

jazz4cash · 10-11-2019, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by omni550

"I can't help but notice your gorgeous skin. [It's such an amazing color/so even-toned, etc.] I'm curious, what's your background... ethnicity? and/or Where are you from?" has worked for me.

omni

No!!!!

Taxman59 · 10-11-2019, 11:34 AM

I often comment on someone's name. I say, I am a family historian and haven't seen that name before. I often get interesting answers, but never a negative response.

target2019 · 10-11-2019, 01:28 PM

Many of the thoughts in the thread, if spoken to a stranger...well I can't say for sure.

If a friend says, "Yeah, I don't mind," that may or may not be true. In any event, I would not use friend's "Ok" as a ticket into anothers private life.

Amethyst · 10-11-2019, 02:10 PM

One's name is a bit different from one's other personal attributes. Most people love to discuss their family name, tell you the derivation, correct pronunciation etc. I could give quite a dissertation on my maiden name, which, although it is short, nobody could pronounce or spell correctly.

I have heard of people being subjected to open disdain because their name reminded people of some unpopular famous person. If I met a person with such a name, I would assume their nerves are already raw on the topic, and would talk about pretty much anything except their name!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taxman59

I often comment on someone's name. I say, I am a family historian and haven't seen that name before. I often get interesting answers, but never a negative response.

Amethyst · 10-11-2019, 02:17 PM

I actually did this once. I hadn't seen the woman in a while; the last time I saw her, she was slender; the only part sticking out was her stomach, so....Nope, she had gained weight and was unhappy about it. So I keep my pregnancy assumptions to myself!

Another time, I complimented a formerly very heavy woman on her weight loss, only to have her inform me she had terminal cancer. In my defense, she was wearing pretty new clothes, and a tight belt that emphasized her newly-slim waist. Anybody would have assumed she was proud of her new figure. That's why that word is spelled "ASS U ME...."

Quote:

Originally Posted by pj.mask

As for “pregnant” women who could be fat, the best advice I got is to never ask a woman if they are pregnant and act surprised when they are holding a baby saying “I never knew”. I’m not sure what being pregnant has to do with asking where someone is from but the reason you don’t ask people if they are pregnant is because if they are not - they are so fat you thought they were.
.

kcowan · 10-11-2019, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuckanut

Where are from? Talk to a citizen of New Mexico and you will get some interesting stories.

https://www.newmexico.org/nmmagazine...50-is-missing/

We were surprised to see that the license plates say "New Mexico USA" so it must be a common problem.

I remember when Japanese goods were derided and they had a small town called USA and they would label goods as "Made in USA"!

Nemo2 · 10-11-2019, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcowan

I remember when Japanese goods were derided and they had a small town called USA and they would label goods as "Made in USA"!

I remember that too.

**braumeister** · 10-11-2019, 02:46 PM

I wonder if the people who think New Mexico is not in the USA also think Baja California is?

**Gumby** · 10-11-2019, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by braumeister

I wonder if the people who think New Mexico is not in the USA also think Baja California is?

They're the same ones who think Tbilisi is a suburb of Atlanta.

Dtail · 10-11-2019, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gumby

They're the same ones who think Tbilisi is a suburb of Atlanta.

Though that was an investment.

gerntz · 10-11-2019, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcowan

We were surprised to see that the license plates say "New Mexico USA" so it must be a common problem.

They're just ahead of the curve on the new USMCA agreement.

kcowan · 10-12-2019, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by braumeister

I wonder if the people who think New Mexico is not in the USA also think Baja California is?

Based on the prices for real estate in BC, they seem to consider it different than the rest!

dirtbiker · 10-12-2019, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mountainsoft

When we're traveling, even locally, we often encounter other travelers, or just people working in the local area. Sometimes they'll have a unique accent and I'll say "I love your accent, where are you from?". I just did this last weekend when a guy from Sweden was visiting a local winery. He was happy to tell me where he was from and we briefly discussed his travels.

We also had a waitress at one of the restaurants we visited, beautiful lady with dark skin. I couldn't tell if she was from India, Latino, Black, Native American, or maybe somewhere else. I was fascinated and curious how she ended up in that little town, but couldn't think of a tactful way to ask her. I couldn't really say "where are you from" as she probably spent her whole life in the little town we were visiting, just based on her perfect English with no accent.

I'm not a very social person by nature, and am like a fish out of water in these situations. I don't know what is appropriate and what should be left unsaid. Asking "are you black" or "are you Mexican" seems wrong, especially if I guess wrong. I've asked people what their heritage was in the past, but that felt stupid and was people I had already met before. I'm curious by nature, but maybe it's none of my business.

Is there a good way to ask these things, or is it wrong to ask at all?

I didn't read all of the replies, but I'm surprised how many here consider asking about one's background (ancestry, ethnicity, accent, etc.) to be rude or inconsiderate. Personally, I think if we make asking about someone's ethnicity, accent, etc. a bad thing, it promotes shame about one's ancestry. Why would we want to do that? Even if there have been atrocious acts against a particular group, why should a person carry that forward in shame? They should be proud of who they are and where they came from. Being overly sensitive in this case sends the wrong message in my opinion.

I've asked many times and will continue in the future. I've also been asked, and never took any offense to it (usually when traveling to other countries, but not always). Why would I? If they have an accent, it's easy. Oh, that's a lovely accent, where is it from? Just make sure not to do a creepy compliment. lol. As far as asking about ancestry, I will volunteer mine first and then ask if it's okay to ask. I'll say something like, I'm a mutt. My ancestry is Irish, German, and Native American as far as I know. Do you mind if I ask about yours? I've never had any negative interactions this way, and nobody who refused to tell me. And if they did, that's 100% their right, and I wouldn't push any further.

Rather than making skin color, facial features, accents, etc. a barrier to communication, why not be open about it and discuss it? If someone doesn't want to talk about it, they'll let you know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gumby

They're the same ones who think Tbilisi is a suburb of Atlanta.

Funny you mention this, my wife and I have recently been thinking of traveling here. Should be a short flight from JFK to ATL.

But seriously, have you been to Tbilisi?

jazz4cash · 10-12-2019, 07:48 PM

I think asking about ethnicity is ok but very very risky. Some folks can pull it off and others cannot. The phrasing used in the OP was very awkward IMO.

Oz investor · 10-12-2019, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amethyst

I actually did this once. I hadn't seen the woman in a while; the last time I saw her, she was slender; the only part sticking out was her stomach, so....Nope, she had gained weight and was unhappy about it. So I keep my pregnancy assumptions to myself!

Another time, I complimented a formerly very heavy woman on her weight loss, only to have her inform me she had terminal cancer. In my defense, she was wearing pretty new clothes, and a tight belt that emphasized her newly-slim waist. Anybody would have assumed she was proud of her new figure. That's why that word is spelled "ASS U ME...."

nice to see someone else can put both feet in their mouth as well

just when i wondering if i was unique

but i am learning , better to be seen as a grumpy non-communicative old codger than the other 3000 nasty labels you can be tagged with now

( and goodness help you if you give a precise opinion on something )

the truth is acid in a sugar-coated world

nancyfrank232 · 10-12-2019, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mountainsoft

We also had a waitress at one of the restaurants we visited, beautiful lady with dark skin. I couldn't tell if she was from India, Latino, Black, Native American, or maybe somewhere else. I was fascinated and curious how she ended up in that little town, but couldn't think of a tactful way to ask her.

Is there a good way to ask these things, or is it wrong to ask at all?

Were you born and raised here?

How did you decide to come here?

How would their ethnicity be important here?

joeea · 10-13-2019, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcowan

I remember when Japanese goods were derided and they had a small town called USA and they would label goods as "Made in USA"!

You remember that?

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/made-in-usa/

It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.