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Attending a wedding tomorrow, I'm Already Exhausted
Old 09-29-2017, 05:29 PM   #1
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Attending a wedding tomorrow, I'm Already Exhausted

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow for a niece, but I'm already exhausted from getting ready to go.

I'm a designated driver, not because of driving folks who drink but driving relatives around. Got into a bit of a spat because a roommate of a sister who I am driving insisted that she wear something that roommate got for her. I tried to say, another sister picked out some cloths so how about letting my other sister pick...but her roommate does the "cut you off, doesn't listen approach" of conversations. Have a brother who changed plans in last moment as his wife "not feeling right" and decided to not go so he asked if he can ride with me.

I'm sure the wedding will be fun, but the introvert in me has me already looking forward to when it is over, I've dropped all relatives off and have the place to myself again.... Peace and quiet.
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Old 09-29-2017, 07:19 PM   #2
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My sympathies. I think the typical American wedding is ridiculous. But each to his own.
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Old 09-29-2017, 08:19 PM   #3
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My sympathies. I think the typical American wedding is ridiculous. But each to his own.
I used to love to go to weddings, It was like a cheap date night , I ate like I was going to the electric chair and I drank till I had enough. I danced till I was about to faint, and smoked cigars till I was green. It would have cost us double to replicate that kind of night out. And that meant we actually went out someplace. Most of the time during the accumulation/paying the bills phase we went no place.

I remember going to high end bashes that , just when you thought it was over, they started making omelets and would send you home with a bag of bagels and the Sunday paper. And a nice wedding favor.

Other times my millions of cousins would tell me, "hey after this you know we are all going to some night club, you have to come, you never hang out". And we would tag along and get home at 6am. Man, I miss that craziness.
I would probably have a stroke if I tried to replicate that now for even 15 minutes.

We haven't gone to a wedding for over 2 years now. I even missed my neices wedding, mom couldnt make the trip, & I wasnt leaving her alone with the aide.

Have fun it will be a good time.
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Old 09-29-2017, 08:28 PM   #4
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I lived in New Jersey so the weddings were as Blue Collar states . We ate course after course and then dessert and then more dessert and cordials and then the viennese table .I now live in Florida and the weddings are miniscule compared to Jersey . I miss the extravaganza weddings .
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Old 09-29-2017, 08:52 PM   #5
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I'm a designated driver, not because of driving folks who drink but driving relatives around.
I always wondered why, for the first example, they weren't classified as 'desiccated drivers'.
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Old 09-29-2017, 09:02 PM   #6
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Don't like when re-reading my post, find a typo in the heading but can't edit without mod help .

My goal for the wedding is to get everyone around safely. Oh, have some fun too. But safety first. Will be nice to see family (one brother, haven't seen in about five years). I kid (but only half kid) that we are now in the old people's table .

Update: Thanks for the title update. Now the heading makes sense .
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Old 09-29-2017, 10:39 PM   #7
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I used to love to go to weddings, It was like a cheap date night , I ate like I was going to the electric chair and I drank till I had enough. I danced till I was about to faint, and smoked cigars till I was green............
Yea, attending can be fun, but I was thinking of all the drama big weddings seem to generate among the participants.
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Old 09-30-2017, 04:26 AM   #8
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Now couples just move in together and test the waters before jumping into marriage.

And we're just not seeing the huge marital extravaganzas.

I have some Lebanese friends with 100 first cousins. One of their weddings ran $125k. No rhanks.
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Old 09-30-2017, 07:12 AM   #9
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And we're just not seeing the huge marital extravaganzas.
We are.

Niece's fiancee is highly competitive with his old prep school buddies who've all had huge weddings of late. They've been to about 10 incredibly expensive 'destination' weddings this year (London, Paris, Brazil, India, Monaco)

Sixteen groomsmen, 300 guests, open bar with only the best liquors, etc. etc. honeymoon in Africa.

Insane!!

They claim it would be embarrassing to not do the same. Thankfully for her dad, niece and BF are paying for it themselves and thankfully they can (barely) afford it. (They expect to break-even with an average of $500 per person cash gifts)

DW can't wait.
I'd rather have a tooth pulled but it will be nice to see the entire family having fun on someone else's dime other than mine for once!
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Old 09-30-2017, 07:31 AM   #10
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Over the past three years, we've gone to a number of weddings for the the next generation in our families and the children of friends. They have ranged from a simple, shorts and blue jeans, homemade wedding cake, no-alcohol BBQ chicken dinner with a friend as photographer and an iPhone with bluetooth speakers for the music in a church basement in Pennsylvania (honeymoon weekend in the Poconos) to an incredibly fancy, black- tie, big band, fully catered event at the Carter presidential library in Atlanta (3 week honeymoon in Japan, Singapore and Hong Kong), and many variations in between. And, yet, the result was the same in every case - two young people started their lives together and everyone had a good time.
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Old 09-30-2017, 08:26 AM   #11
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Our extremely LBYM wedding resulted in a marriage that is 31 years old.

Two of the foursorry - it was only 3, far more lavish ones we attended that same year (for some reason 1986 was a big year for weddings of people I knew) resulted in divorce.

Not sure how to quantify this in terms of ROI
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Old 09-30-2017, 08:48 AM   #12
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Agree that weddings can be "tough". Still getting over my DD's wedding and that was about 2 years ago. Was a "waste" in my view but I promised. I doubt there is much correlation or causation between the cost of a wedding and it's success though. My first wedding was very inexpensive as was my second. Totally different result though.
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:20 AM   #13
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We are going to Mexico in a few weeks for a cousins wedding. The folks that are attending are the hardest drinkers I have ever met (and that is considering that I spent 15+ years with hard core Air Force flyers...which means a LOT of drinking) and I know it's going to be miserable. Oh, gotta keep the DW happy...
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:39 AM   #14
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We have been to about a half dozen weddings of younger people (<30) in the last couple of years, and most have been very LBYM. Receptions either in the church building or clean but inexpensive venues, finger foods or buffet-styles meals, no liquor or beer/wine only. They have been very enjoyable.
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Old 09-30-2017, 10:51 AM   #15
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Our extremely LBYM wedding resulted in a marriage that is 31 years old. Not sure how to quantify this in terms of ROI
Our wedding 40 1/2 years ago cost us under $300. We were married by a J.P. in the botanical garden of a public park. Our reception was held in my in-laws' backyard where we served cake and punch. Zero drama.

As far as quantifying - it can be stated unequivocally that a pricy wedding is not the precursor to a long and happy marriage!
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Old 09-30-2017, 11:05 AM   #16
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DD was in a long term relationship with a guy I didn't like. On "paper" he seemed ideal - wealthy, same religion (important to DW), in law school, etc. I found him arrogant and only polite like Eddie Haskell. I told my wife the wedding would be costly and ultimately a waste of money as I was sure divorce was inevitable. I never let on my feelings to DD.
....and then they broke up. Again, I never expressed my true feelings to my upset DD, but in private I danced an Irish Jig. I'm not Irish, and I sure as heck can't dance, but I gave it my best effort. A lot of wasted money saved on that one!
We did pay for the traditional weeding for DD and my current son-in-law, but that has worked out great on all fronts.
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Old 09-30-2017, 03:15 PM   #17
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My daughter got married by a JP at her kitchen table. No kidding. With their two year old son looking on. After that, the JP tried to sell my son in law boxes of knife sets to give out to his customers. The look back and laugh. Big joke now.

She opted for a destination wedding (which is why they had to be wed by a JP at home). Worked well. We told everyone no presents, just your presence is fine. On the beach, beautiful weather. Enjoyed it more than many of the stuffy church wedding that we have been to where I thought the minister was being paid by the length of the service not the content of it.
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Old 09-30-2017, 03:54 PM   #18
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I'm going to a wedding tomorrow for a niece, but I'm already exhausted from getting ready to go.

I'm a designated driver, not because of driving folks who drink but driving relatives around. Got into a bit of a spat because a roommate of a sister who I am driving insisted that she wear something that roommate got for her. I tried to say, another sister picked out some cloths so how about letting my other sister pick...but her roommate does the "cut you off, doesn't listen approach" of conversations. Have a brother who changed plans in last moment as his wife "not feeling right" and decided to not go so he asked if he can ride with me.

I'm sure the wedding will be fun, but the introvert in me has me already looking forward to when it is over, I've dropped all relatives off and have the place to myself again.... Peace and quiet.
I feel the same way about big social events. Now that DW has retired, at least I don’t have to attend big corporate events as the +1 anymore. The food was good usually, but the forced mingling was exhausting. I haven’t attended a wedding in 6 years. People are still getting married?
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Old 09-30-2017, 04:04 PM   #19
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I haven’t attended a wedding in 6 years. People are still getting married?
I think this is the reason we still keep a checkbook. You got to see the invitations we get, bridal showers, baby showers, engagement party, reveal party(to see if they are having a boy or a girl), and yes the occasional wedding. Its like a go fund me page. We send a check,
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Old 09-30-2017, 04:30 PM   #20
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I'm really out of it. I'd never heard of a reveal party and had to look it up.

Okay, I'm a curmudgeon, it strikes me as tacky.
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