Before and After ER

[griffithee]

Military camaraderie: it's been 17 years of retirement since I hung up my pajamas, er, I mean my submarine coveralls.

I miss two things:
1. Surfacing ~50 miles south of Oahu at 3 AM to head inport. I'd guard the lookout as they opened the bridge hatch, and we'd be the first two people to get up on the bridge to rig for surfaced operations. We could see everything we needed to see because the Milky Way would be spread out above us with only the boat's bioluminescence for contrast. The Navy routine would settle down within 30 minutes or so and you could find a dozen crew volunteers who were happy to bring a pot of coffee to the bridge. We'd drive for home and enjoy the ride.

2. The military culture and its shared values.

I haven't figured out a way to replace the first, although I can get pretty close on a cruise ship. However it turns out that the second is alive & well in veteran's organizations and all over social media.

I don't miss any of the other good stuff with enough sentiment to make me tolerate the pain of the not-so-good stuff.

Nords, I can agree on the culture piece. I miss the sailors. I miss sitting on the
fast boat mess decks and shooting the **** with the cranks. Or even busting JO balls in the carrier wardroom. The camaraderie of the military was something I have been unable to replace in the last six years. And the sunsets. Sitting on the fan tail watching the sun burn into whatever far away sea we were currently floating in. I miss those. Halfway nights, port visits, fleet weeks are certainly missed.

I do not miss the BS, the voluntary fun at the admiral's house, weekly staff meetings, another budget drill, trying to get the ENG to pay his mess bill.

I definitely do not miss the bane of my existence. Dancing with the one eyed bitch in a cat four hurricane doing eight knots on the surface for eight hours to get to the dive point out of Norfolk. Needless to say, the smell of bile from everyone in control on that transit was traumatic!!!! East coast fast boats did not have the luxury of pulling the lines, getting underway, and getting to the dive point three minutes out of Pearl Harbor. LOL

 

[sturbridge]

I'm 3 months out from retiring, but I'm not anticipating a big transition. For the last 3 years I've worked from home and husband has been retired for 4 years, so we already spend a lot of time together.

I had been a middle manager in software development 10 years ago, but was tired of the political BS and the game of "schedule chicken". Schedule chicken is when you know you've missed your schedule, but you don't say anything, because you are hoping another group will be later than you and will therefore take the fall. Software culture really changed after the dot com bust and became less enjoyable. Its all "what have you done for me lately?" as layoffs continue, and companies invest less and less into their employees development. I won't miss this. I currently have an individual contributor job, one of the few in engineering that isn't expected to be on call and available 24.7, so grateful for that. The rest of the folks I work with are expected to be available late night to deploy new software, create and maintain their own infrastructure as well as develop more and more new software (ie still maintain 9-5 on top of those extra hours), and be on their computer within 5 minutes any time of day or night should anything hiccup. Oh, and a good raise is 2%, if there is one at all.

I never was a "somebody" to whom staff brought coffee and fawned over me, so I can't be missing that. Although I've mostly enjoyed what I did for a living, it never was really my identity. I identify as curious/interested in learning how things work more than telling folks I'm a project manager.

 

[pb4uski]

One of the more interesting things about retirement is the more diverse group of people that are part of my life.... in the groups that I hang out with socially and for golf in retirement we have people who were previously C-suite, white-collar workers, blue-collar workers and everything in between... nobody gives a rat's tail what you did in your prior life... we're all retired and having fun and that is what is important now.

 

[Nords]

I think the first withdrawal was extremely difficult, and mimics the OP's experience. Moving in to the civilian world.... leaving I think will be welcome.

The key seems to be finding a reason to look ahead. But I still enjoy hanging out with vets to reminisce about the shared misery.

I definitely do not miss the bane of my existence. Dancing with the one eyed bitch in a cat four hurricane doing eight knots on the surface for eight hours to get to the dive point out of Norfolk. Needless to say, the smell of bile from everyone in control on that transit was traumatic!!!! East coast fast boats did not have the luxury of pulling the lines, getting underway, and getting to the dive point three minutes out of Pearl Harbor. LOL

Aw man, if word gets out about Hawaii Navy then every submariner will want to be stationed in Pearl Harbor!

I may experience a flashback or two in the next few nights...

 

[Dtail]

One of the more interesting things about retirement is the more diverse group of people that are part of my life.... in the groups that I hang out with socially and for golf in retirement we have people who were previously C-suite, white-collar workers, blue-collar workers and everything in between... nobody gives a rat's tail what you did in your prior life... we're all retired and having fun and that is what is important now.

Amen. Certainly don't wish to hang out with my former Wall Streeters when I don't have to. We have a wonderful variety of folks in my community.