Join Early Retirement Today
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 01-28-2013, 06:19 PM   #21
Moderator
rodi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 8,817
I plan to retire in place, in my non-gated, diverse community.

Neighbors on either side are retired. Neighbor across the street has a 3 year old and a 5 year old.

For socialization I'll do what my parents did... go play cards at the rec center (bridge, etc.), volunteer as an usher at various playhouses, or just stand at my front door yelling "Git off my lawn!!!".

Or I'll just continue doing what I do now - chat up the neighbors when I take the dog for a walk.
__________________

__________________
rodi is offline  
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 01-28-2013, 06:31 PM   #22
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
obgyn65's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: midwestern city
Posts: 4,061
I am quite reserved by nature, more a listener than a talker. However, I do enjoy social company, colleagues, and friends.

As for the future, I don't mind dying among my patients' communities in a third world country at the age of 85 - or even later if possible. Just bury me under a tree there, among those people who have shown me so much love and generosity, despite having nothing themselves.
__________________

__________________
Very conservative with investments. Not ER'd yet, 48 years old. Please do not take anything I write or imply as legal, financial or medical advice directed to you. Contact your own financial advisor, healthcare provider, or attorney for financial, medical and legal advice.
obgyn65 is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 06:32 PM   #23
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
NW-Bound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 19,449
As we take the walk through the neighborhood each morning, I observe how many homes have cars parked on the driveway. Though all homes have a 2 or 3 car garage, people tend to use it to store treasure, so cars are parked outside, and when you see 2 or 3 cars out, you know the home very likely belongs to geezers who no longer work.

When we first moved in 25 years ago, there were more families with school-aged children. Then, now same as our situation, the children grew up, and the parents get old, just like us. The older neighborhood has its residents in the 60-70 age group, while my street is populated with people in the 50-60.

Generally, people in this area like to stay, and age in place. Recently, have seen more motorhomes and travel trailers parked on driveways too. I have geezers all around, but we do not socialize much.

Up in my boonies place, we are all a bunch of introverts bordering on being recluse. Most are in the 60s, as the nearest town with doctors and hospitals is 40 miles away, and older people would need more healthcare and had to move.

I thought about retirement communities, but unless we change as we get older, do not see ourselves moving from where we are.
__________________
NW-Bound is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 06:47 PM   #24
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,629
Quote:
Originally Posted by imoldernu View Post
... I may try the FL Senior Triathalon (0ver 75) this year... Our Park manager came in third in the much younger group.
Assuming you have doc's approval- give it a "tri" (pun intended). Triathlon can be quite addicting. I did my 1st one almost 4yrs ago. Bought entry as a fund raiser for local swim club. Just a short pool swim, 10mi bike, 5k run. Amazed & proud that I finished. I was hooked, and eventually did an ironman ~15mo ago.

BTW- This guy is one of my heros-
Lew Hollander

82yrs young and (IIRC) 18 straight Kona Ironman finishes, inc setting the record as oldest IM finisher ever.

__________________
ERhoosier is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 06:52 PM   #25
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 1,577
One of the pluses about FIREing is being able to avoid the stress caused by large scale events - no more office Xmas parties, client cocktail evenings etc. The freedom to socialise on my own terms is one of the things I am looking forward to.
__________________
Budgeting is a skill practised by people who are bad at politics.
traineeinvestor is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 06:59 PM   #26
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,038
When I first moved to Florida I lived in a very close community with a clubhouse & a pool . It was fun for awhile but frankly it became too much . It felt like high school . The popular kids were invited to all the parties .Luckily I was one of the popular kids. I felt pressured to entertain and join committees about such interesting things as " Should bird feeders be allowed ?". It was nice to have people concerned about you & willing to help but some of the closeness IMO was over the top . I lived there married and as a young widow . My dating was a positive thing in that it kept people from worrying about their gallbladders .Instead they were speculating about the goings on in my house .
__________________
Moemg is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 07:09 PM   #27
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Mulligan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 7,384
I think I would enjoy very much a gated retirement community of 55 and overs. I am 7 years away from that age, but my main problem is my dear GF is 18 years away from retirement though she is only a couple years younger than me. If she quit now, and we moved and lived off my income we wouldn't be able to afford to leave the house. So I will patiently wait. I hear many of these places, the population average is significantly higher than 55, so maybe we will fit right in.
__________________
Mulligan is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 07:13 PM   #28
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Mulligan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 7,384
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg
When I first moved to Florida I lived in a very close community with a clubhouse & a pool . It was fun for awhile but frankly it became too much . It felt like high school . The popular kids were invited to all the parties .Luckily I was one of the popular kids. I felt pressured to entertain and join committees about such interesting things as " Should bird feeders be allowed ?". It was nice to have people concerned about you & willing to help but some of the closeness IMO was over the top . I lived there married and as a young widow . My dating was a positive thing in that it kept people from worrying about their gallbladders .Instead they were speculating about the goings on in my house .
Your last two sentences surprised me Moemg. I thought you were going to write " ...It kept people from worrying about their gallbladders and became worried I was out to steal their husband." I have read that sometimes in those communities married women keep a suspicious eye on the single ladies.
__________________
Mulligan is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 07:26 PM   #29
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
imoldernu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Peru
Posts: 4,616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
My dating was a positive thing in that it kept people from worrying about their gallbladders .Instead they were speculating about the goings on in my house .
Sheesh... didn't know that was you, Maud... We had bets that you'd match up with Homer, but he moved to the Villages.
__________________
Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again. - Eleanor Roosevelt
imoldernu is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 07:32 PM   #30
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
audreyh1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 16,536
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
When I first moved to Florida I lived in a very close community with a clubhouse & a pool . It was fun for awhile but frankly it became too much . It felt like high school . The popular kids were invited to all the parties .Luckily I was one of the popular kids. I felt pressured to entertain and join committees about such interesting things as " Should bird feeders be allowed ?". It was nice to have people concerned about you & willing to help but some of the closeness IMO was over the top . I lived there married and as a young widow . My dating was a positive thing in that it kept people from worrying about their gallbladders .Instead they were speculating about the goings on in my house .
My husband and I may have just become very skilled at this, but maybe us nerdy birdy (and nature photographer) types get a pass because we're obviously always busy out chasing something exciting with our camera/binocs. We really have no trouble keeping out of the social events nor feeling pressure to entertain. Anyhow, we're indulged and it's lovely. Our main community responsibilities seem to be answering an occasional nature question, or my giving tours of my butterfly garden and dispensing plant advice. We can live with that.

You know, just like work (especially when FI), I think one can establish the terms under which one interacts with one's community.
__________________
Well, I thought I was retired. But it seems that now I'm working as a travel agent instead!
audreyh1 is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 08:12 PM   #31
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 215
I see this as a future option I'd like to explore. Any recommendations for testing the waters?
__________________
Tekward is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 08:49 PM   #32
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
kyounge1956's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,171
I'm another INTJ who doesn't find the idea of a community with all those activities at all attractive at the moment. Working in an office has forced me into more social contact than I feel I want or need, for years on end. These last few months telecommuting while I'm in treatment have been a real relief from much of that forced interaction. In fact, maybe that was (unconsciously) the reason I wanted to work remotely. I just didn't have the energy to deal with the overdose of social contact on top of treatment.

When I formally retire I think I will become a hermit for six months or a year and hardly ever come out of the house except to go to church on Sundays, to recharge my "alone time" battery. Then perhaps I will be ready to come out of my hole and start socializing. And though I don't find that community with onsite activities appealing now, I can see where I might in a couple of decades if it becomes more of a hassle to travel any distance to get to the events I want to go to. After all, even if I lived in such a place I wouldn't have to socialize. If I need some solo time I could stay in my room and not talk to anyone. That's why there's a lock on the door, right?
__________________
kyounge1956 is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 09:13 PM   #33
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
veremchuka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: irradiated - too close to the nuclear furnace
Posts: 1,294
Quote:
A log cabin near the top of a mountain in the Adirondaks, surrounded by barbed wire.
In truth, a wish to be a hermit. Away from neighbors, only venturing out to do solo (DW and I) traveling, camping, and whatever was necessary to satisfy hedonic pleasures. Two or three close friends, but never, never, to live in a place where there were neighbors
Well you had me there, I mean you described me pretty much to a tee and I was ready to join you or you join me here (not quite as isolated as your idea but close) but then as I read on....

By the time I was done reading about all the activities I was worn out! Like W2R said "sounds like Hell on earth to me". How can I not agree with someone with such a lovely avatar! But seriously I'm glad you like it it would be the death of me.
__________________
veremchuka is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 09:17 PM   #34
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Mulligan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 7,384
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tekward
I see this as a future option I'd like to explore. Any recommendations for testing the waters?
Many of these communities will offer you a 3 night stay package at a very reasonable cost to tour the community/facilities, probably with the condition you meet with a sales rep as part of the deal. I will do it after I hit the age of 55, and maybe get lucky enough to get to call it a vacation also with GF to make it a "cheap one" for me.
__________________
Mulligan is offline  
Old 01-28-2013, 09:48 PM   #35
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
audreyh1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 16,536
Several years of full-time RVing may have somewhat prepared us, as most RVers out there are retired folks.

But we avoided the winter snowbird RV parks, as the intense socializing wasn't our thing, they tended to be very close quarters, and we preferred to wander in winter and enjoy state parks, etc.

When we were ready to buy a house again, however, the 55+ community was in a terrific location*, the owners had invested a lot in the surrounding nature resources, we had plenty of our own private space with our house and lot, and we've never felt any pressure to be involved in the social activities. Many do participate and it's a big part of their winter season. Many do their own thing without impediment.

*Actually, it was the location and resources of the development that made us decide it made sense for us to buy a house again.
__________________
Well, I thought I was retired. But it seems that now I'm working as a travel agent instead!
audreyh1 is offline  
Old 01-29-2013, 02:46 AM   #36
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 1,005
Thanks for all the input. I am 6 month away from ER.
I know that I have to push myself (and DH) to socialize.
It does not come easy to us but we know that we feel bad after a while if we allow us to become hermits.

As we do not have these retirement communities here I would love to visit some in the US when we travel. It will be added to my travel list....
__________________
chris2008 is offline  
Old 01-29-2013, 05:52 AM   #37
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 16,579
Quote:
Originally Posted by imoldernu View Post
Before we retired, from a job that was somewhat stressful,... my retirement dream was... and this is not an overstatement...
A log cabin near the top of a mountain in the Adirondaks, surrounded by barbed wire.
In truth, a wish to be a hermit.
That's about where I was, except for dealing with upper management, but law enforcement and simply living in the Washington, DC area has its own stresses.

And in fact after I retired and we moved for the first year I did little more than sit on the back porch and catch up with long-deferred visits with relatives that I and DW do care about. One SIL, the smart one, told DW that I was "decompressing", in hindsight a fair-enough description.

And it slowly dawned on me that perhaps this relative isolation wasn't the ideal way to spend the next 30 years. But I didn't have a good idea of what to do or where to go next. Admittedly getting a job was a stopgap measure until I figured out where to go from there, the unplanned-for income gave us more options, and DW needed time to deal with an aging, stubborn, but much-loved parent. That issue is about to be resolved.

More recently I'm seriously considering a CCRC (continuous care retirement community) for ourselves in light of how well that worked for my mother and how well (Not!) staying at home worked for FIL. When the dust settles on selling FIL's house next month we'll take a tour of one in PA, chosen in part because of easy access to family, they have SF homes with garages, the weather is 2 only degrees cooler than here, and there would be no state income tax on our retirement income. DW is okay with the idea but is more focused on her immediate family crisis.

The downside is that it takes a six-figure commitment amortized over a period of years, but basically it is something we can afford to do only once unless we bailed soon after moving. In return for the six-figure commitment they promise to never throw you out if expenses exhaust your resources. And I am thoroughly impressed with the care FIL is getting at the same organization's facility close by. I do not impress easily.

There is a social structure there that is both easily accessible and from which we could easily withdraw when we wanted to. That part worked very well for my mother, who was in a CCRC for almost 12 years.

Another issue is that I've realized that when older (meaning 75+) relatives moved to digs that were less work to keep they had a lot of help from children and younger family, such as myself and DW. A couple of others have adult children living with them to provide the assisted living help.

We will not have that help available. There are some nephews and nieces who could give us a weekend or three but other than that we're on our own. So we think we need to make a move long before it becomes a crisis, unlike FIL, who stayed in his house until he literally couldn't walk.

And as I wrote to one sister, I'm 62. That means in 20 years I'll be 82. (Sometimes I really hate math!) I rather doubt I'll be up for another move then. So I'm thinking bite the bullet and do it now since it isn't going to get any easier the longer we wait.
__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is offline  
Old 01-29-2013, 06:11 AM   #38
Full time employment: Posting here.
Redbugdave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Columbia, SC
Posts: 959
We are looking for acreage now to build our final house. Different strokes for different folks. I want to get back into beekeeping, maybe have a few cows, need a bigger workshop, (pole barn w/bathroom), and garden. Hunt more and fish more, too.

One good thing about living in one of those villages though, I don't think you need to worry much about being burglarized while you are traveling since you are surrounded by people who know you and would look out for your place.
__________________
"I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." Ashleigh Brilliant
Redbugdave is offline  
Old 01-29-2013, 06:58 AM   #39
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
grasshopper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,671
I live in a small hamlet of maybe 250 folks, some are snow birds, some are only here for the bird and reptile season June- September. So at any one time I may have a social connection with 100-150 people. So I found Dunbar's number research to be very enlightening.

From Wikipedia,
Dunbar's number is a suggested cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships. These are relationships in which an individual knows who each person is, and how each person relates to every other person.[1] Proponents assert that numbers larger than this generally require more restrictive rules, laws, and enforced norms to maintain a stable, cohesive group. It has been proposed to lie between 100 and 230, with a commonly used value of 150

Dunbar's number - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
__________________
For me experiences are not good or bad, just different
grasshopper is offline  
Old 01-29-2013, 07:35 AM   #40
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
donheff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 8,649
Interesting post Imolder. My fondest memories are living with and hanging with lots of like minded people back in the late 60s, early 70s. The concept of a 55+ community appeals to me although DW has no interest. The problem I think would be finding a like minded group of people. I tend to immediately like working class folks or maybe educated, engineer types who were not upper management like me . But I am a flaming lefty and would not fit in surrounded by conservatives - particularly social and religious conservatives which I regularly hear is what I would find in a retirement community. On the other hand, I couldn't stand being around a bunch of serious, holier than thou liberals. I can afford and would like an up scale development but don't like being around a bunch of stiff, backed executive types.... Argh, should I stick with the DIY approach or is there a community worth visiting?
__________________

__________________
Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler. -- Samuel Johnson
donheff is offline  
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:31 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.