Being Social in Retirement

[CoolChange]

Before we retired, from a job that was somewhat stressful, and required considerable interaction with upper level management and a large number of subordinates, my retirement dream was... and this is not an overstatement...
A log cabin near the top of a mountain in the Adirondaks, surrounded by barbed wire.
In truth, a wish to be a hermit. Away from neighbors, only venturing out to do solo...

The first part of the OP pulled me into this thread which I have been following intently. Replace mountains surrounded by barbed wire with beach surrounded by empty sea and you have summed up my current feelings quite well.

...
The idea of living in such a community does not appeal to me at this stage in life. Having several hundred "friends" sounds like Hell on earth to me, to be perfectly frank. When I was younger, that was more appealing. Perhaps it will be again some day.

This also describes my current state; but, like a few others here, I wonder:

• Will these feelings change as I age?
• About all of the issues with aging in place.

...When I formally retire I think I will become a hermit for six months or a year...

This is still my plan as well. I am not sure how long it will take me to recharge my alone time battery, decompress, etc. But, I am definitely looking forward to finding out.

I live in a small hamlet of maybe 250 folks, some are snow birds, some are only here for the bird and reptile season June- September. So at any one time I may have a social connection with 100-150 people. So I found Dunbar's number research to be very enlightening....

I remember reading about Dunbar's number some time ago but had forgotten about it. My ideal location might be on the outskirts of this kind of small community. Thank you for including this in the thread.

...I actually am starting to realize that even though I am an introvert I would like more social interaction. Part of what holds me back though is the political/religious thing I mentioned above. It is very wearying to constantly feel you have to censor yourself because you know that virtually everyone around you is the opposite of you on those issues. And I am not exaggerating. People who are in majority tend to think that everyone is as well, so there is often just the assumption that everyone has the same political/religious viewpoint. Knowing that I am of a minority viewpoint, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by starting a debate or even presenting a dissenting opinion so I tend to just stay silent. And that tends to make me feel even more isolated.

So yes I do like the idea of a bit more social interaction (only a bit), but I think one of the senior communities would be jumping from the frying into the fire from a political/religious perspective.

For me, it is not so much wanting more social interaction for its own sake but the preponderance of evidence which indicates this is good for health and well-being even for the most introverted. Now, I just need to find a small hamlet of like minded folks or folks who do not feel the need to convert all to their viewpoint.

 

[Ready-4-ER-at-14]

Making the transition now. Getting my social needs by coffee shop, exercise classes, line dancing, and ball room dancing. At each there is a separate mostly non overlapping community. Neighbors are nice, relatively friendly, but socially we just never clicked. Religion is at one of those too big to notice us places.

Unsure if a move to a cheaper to live, warmer area is warranted. Guess where the kids land eventually may be a draw to at least driving range.

 

[W2R]

This thread has run its course. Thanks, all, for participating!