Best Answers to the Standard Questions

[TromboneAl]

We've discussed the two standard questions/statements  that always seem to come up when you say that you're retired:

1. But whaddya do all day?

2. But you're too young to retire.

In this thread I'd like to collect some good answers to these questions.  The purpose of the answers should be to let the person know, in a very concise and amusing way, that I've got plenty to do, and I'm not too young to retire. 

For example, a good answer to #1 (which I got from this forum) is

"Every day I wake up with nothing to do, and by the end of the day I've only gotten half of it done."

 

[TromboneAl]

Re: Best Answers To Standard Questions

P.S. The other day a friend told me he had retired, and I almost found myself asking "Whaddya do all day?"

It made me realize that sometimes "Whaddya do all day?" means "That's silly to retire, now you're going to have nothing to do and you'll be bored." and sometimes it means "What interesting things do you do with your time?"

So I guess you have to understand what's really being asked before you answer.

 

[REWahoo]

Here's a suggested reply to #1:

"I spend half my time thinking up responses to the question 'But whaddya do all day?' and the other half delivering them."

And don't forget Nord's "I have a full time job managing my personal entertainment."

 

[Nords]

But whaddya do all day?

At the end of some particularly busy & enervating days spouse and I look at each other, heave an exhasperated sigh, and one of us asks (in a speech pattern channeled from William Shatner's original Star Trek character): "What do you do ALL DAY?!?"

Al, you're one of the people who can say: "Waddya mean, 'What do I do all day'-- I surf!!"

My FIL says: "Every day is Saturday and every night is Friday night."

As for "But you're too young!" I also use (with apologies to Warren Buffett): "I'm not saving sex for old age, either." Depending on the age of the interrogator that produces either a "Hah, that's cute/funny" smile or an "Ouch, touché" grimace.

 

[wabmester]

1. But whaddya do all day?

I usually go with "You know all that great stuff you do on the weekend? Well, that's what I do all the time."

 

[shiny]

2. But you're too young to retire.

If it is said by someone that you really want to understand (vs. someone who you just want to leave you alone)
then...

I know that it is not the norm in our society, but we really just don't spend a lot of money, so rather than using the rest of our lives trying to accumulate more and more money we are going to take the time to enjoy our lives while we are still young enough to do get out there and do so. Hope it works out.

That last bit is to help assuage the guilt you expressed in an earlier posting.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

when human resources told me i was "too young to retire" i said "in that case, i quit."

as to anyone bored doing nothing, these are the same people who get bored doing anything. i find life fascinating. so i suppose i could just tell them i'm contemplating my navel.

so i guess my answer would be i'm contemplating my navel while i'm still flexible enough to see it.

 

[yakers]

My wife & I only tried this one time (you don't need to say this to a stranger and don't want to say it to someone very close) "The quantity and quality of sex is just remarkable because we have enough time".

 

[mickeyd]

"You know how you love a 3 day wekend? Well, I'm on a 40 year weekend."

 

[sgeeeee]

I always enjoy reading the clever responses posters come up with for these questions.  I've tried using several of them, but they never seem to get the response you might hope for.

To the first question - "What do you do all day?" -- I've simply started answering, "Oh, I have lots and lots of interests and I don't have any problem finding things to keep me busy."  I've found that most of the time people aren't really interested in the answer.  The question is asked more as an accusation that you are some kind of reprehensible dead-beat.  After providing the vague answer, they simply move on.  It wouldn't matter what you say.  On a rare occasion, someone really wants to know and they will follow up with a question about what those interests are.  And I will follow up by describing what I've been doing for the past several weeks. 

to the second statement -- "But you're too young to retire."  -- I usually say, "No.  I've looked it up and there is no law against retiring at any age if you have the means to do it."  This usually brings a chuckle from the person who made the statement and sometimes leads them to ask the first question.  (see above).   

 

[HFWR]

I sorta like "reprehensible deadbeat"...

 

[Jeb-NY]

For #1 my current standard is

"Anything I Want"

For #2

"I hope not"

JebNY

 

[audreyh1]

Response to "But you're to young to be retired!" - usually just a non-verbal shrug with my hands lifted. I guess that means "What can I say?" LOL We do tend to get that one.

Response to "Whaddya do all day?": "Whatever I feel like!". Actually, I feel that question betrays a severe lack of imagination on the part of the person who asks it. This question is rare now, because we're seen with a motorhome obviously traveling, etc., and we tend to be around a lot of other retirees (RVing) even though they usually a lot older. I imagine if we lived in a suburb like "normal" Americans we'd get this more often.

There's also the "Don't you get bored?" question although I have never actually been asked that. Probably because of same reason above. But my instinct would be to answer: "No, not at all. Don't you get bored working?".

Actually I got far more comments just before I retired. Half the folks would be thrilled for us (atta girl!) and know exactly all the great things they would do. The other half would scratch their heads and confess that they had no idea what they would do with themselves if they retired.

Audrey

 

[Cal]

Not being ER'd, I'm not on the receiving end of the "what do you do all day" but if I were to meet one of you in person, I'd probably ask that question - it's one of the reasons why I enjoy reading this board. I am really interested (ok, nosey) about other people's interests and what they do for fun.  I really get a kick out of people's stories.

Might I (humbly) suggest that maybe for some people asking the question, it might be a conversation starter like "what do you do for a living"? If both people are working, they have something in common to bitch talk about. Maybe one of the things you "do all day" is something you and the question-asker have in common and would further the conversation.

Also, IMNSHO, most people don't think "outside the box" unlike the people on this board. (You wouldn't be ER'd if you didn't think outside the box.) When I took a year off to travel, I used to get similiar questions about how I spent my time, didn't I think it was risky, how would I get another job after so much time off, etc - and for the most part, it seemed to me, most people seemed afraid/trapped in their little routine and just couldn't understand that (after a lot of preparation) that I could just take a "leap of faith" that everything was going to work out ok. Their consistent routines give them a false sense of security. At some level, you going "outside the box" upsets their "follow the path/keep up with the Joneses" = stability/security.

 

[Nords]

But my instinct would be to answer:  "No, not at all.  Don't you get bored working?".

Ouch! Good one!!

Our tae kwon do class prides ourselves on not interrogating each other what we do for a living. Sure, it's figured out eventually, but only in the course of discussing more important problems like how work schedules get in the way of prepping for the next belt test.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

#1: "I have three people, three dogs, three cats, three cars and a house to keep up, fix, feed and watch after. What the @$^%$@ do YOU do all day?"

#2: "Too young? Then why the hell do I feel like I was run over by a truck by 7pm every day?!? You mean I'm supposed to try doing all this crap when I'm 60??!?"

 

[shiny]

Also, IMNSHO, most people don't think "outside the box" unlike the people on this board. (You wouldn't be ER'd if you didn't think outside the box.) When I took a year off to travel, I used to get similiar questions about how I spent my time, didn't I think it was risky, how would I get another job after so much time off, etc - and for the most part, it seemed to me, most people seemed afraid/trapped in their little routine and just couldn't understand that (after a lot of preparation) that I could just take a "leap of faith" that everything was going to work out ok. Their consistent routines give them a false sense of security. At some level, you going "outside the box" upsets their "follow the path/keep up with the Joneses" = stability/security.

I'd like to hear more about your "one year off". Have you posted about it before?

I'm reading a Ram Dass book right now and he is all about people's egos trapping them into "safe" lives.

Good on you Cal!

 

[Leonidas]

#1: "I have three people, three dogs, three cats, three cars and a house to keep up, fix, feed and watch after. What the @$^%$@ do YOU do all day?"

An ex-coworker wanted to take me to lunch the other day, I said I had to check my calendar and to-do list and let him know when I could fit him in. He started laughing, but stopped as I read from the list all the crap that I had to take care of that week.

#2: "Too young? Then why the hell do I feel like I was run over by a truck by 7pm every day?!? You mean I'm supposed to try doing all this crap when I'm 60??!?"

My Muslim buddy at the convenience store is used to seeing me come in a lot of time with sweaty clothes from either working out or working around the house. A while back, as I stood there dripping sweat after spending the day laying four tons of stone, he asked me what I did. I told him the truth.

S**t, my friend. If that is what retirement looks like I don't want to ever stop working!

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Theres been a few days that ended with my telling the wife "I think I might go back to work. Sitting behind a desk in air conditioning surfing the web all day and listening to morons is starting to sound good to me.

Yesterday: Cut the lawn. Cut down some tree limbs and trimmed some hedges in 110 degree weather. Stuffed tree limbs into green can, and stuffed some long metal framing rods from our old store bought gazebo into the garbage. Got a 'ticket' from the green can pickup truck for having too much stuff in it. Argued for 10 minutes over whether I should get a ticket or a medal for giving them free green waste they can chip and sell. Had to help the garbage can guy when one of the metal rods got caught in the crushing mechanism and jammed it. Ten minutes with the reciprocating saw, in a garbage truck, in 115 degree heat. Drained part of the pool and refilled. Repotted four plants into self watering hanging pots. Fed two people two meals.

That was the morning...

 

[sgeeeee]

. . . Sitting behind a desk in air conditioning surfing the web all day and listening to morons is starting to sound good to me.

. . .

Other than the desk, how is that different than participating in this board?

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Nah, I have a desk. Nicer one than the one I had at w*rk...

But good point.