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Old 03-07-2009, 03:47 PM   #21
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I guess there are not many fans of Sadie Hawkins day on this board?
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Old 03-07-2009, 04:08 PM   #22
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This is a great thread beats the heck out of talking about the comedy. In the first video can anybody translate what they are advertising.?
Boxers?
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Old 03-07-2009, 04:20 PM   #23
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A lot of unattrractive behaviors come attached to a penis. C'est dommage mes amies!

Ha
I love it when you speak French, Ha Remember how Gomez went crazy when Morticia spoke French?
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Old 03-07-2009, 05:19 PM   #24
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A lot of unattrractive behaviors come attached to a penis. C'est dommage mes amies!

Ha
As do a lot of very attractive behaviors.
Ok, focus, girl, focus...

Gray recommends taking on projects and activities that encourage interaction in order to achieve a common goal. "Try some activity that you are not very good at and ask for help," advises Gray. "Men bond with women more easily when they are doing something to help the woman."

I think this is not an antiquated belief we see here, but actually a means to have an initial icebreaker.
Real example - I gave dh2b my business card, which he swears to this day he had no clue what I was up to.
Not much response.
But when I asked him for help with my dialup (at the time) email server problems, he was right there (by email) giving me advice on what to try.That led to lunch, which led to... At no time did I have to flutter or act dumb.
So maybe just maybe this advice is not as bad as it looks.
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Old 03-07-2009, 05:32 PM   #25
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....
But when I asked him for help with my dialup (at the time) email server problems, he was right there (by email) giving me advice on what to try.That led to lunch, which led to... At no time did I have to flutter or act dumb.
So maybe just maybe this advice is not as bad as it looks.
Freebird, you're onto something. Sounds a lot like the advice given out on this board. Okay, everyone, own up to it, how many of you are dating someone you met on this forum?
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Old 03-07-2009, 06:12 PM   #26
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Gray recommends taking on projects and activities that encourage interaction in order to achieve a common goal. "Try some activity that you are not very good at and ask for help," advises Gray. "Men bond with women more easily when they are doing something to help the woman."

I think this is not an antiquated belief we see here, but actually a means to have an initial icebreaker.
Real example - I gave dh2b my business card, which he swears to this day he had no clue what I was up to.
Not much response.
But when I asked him for help with my dialup (at the time) email server problems, he was right there (by email) giving me advice on what to try.That led to lunch, which led to... At no time did I have to flutter or act dumb.
So maybe just maybe this advice is not as bad as it looks.
I agree with you here. I wouldn't hesitate to ask for advice/help from anyone if I needed to. What I object to is Gray's implication that women should use that advise asking behavior as a technique to interest a man. A really lame and stupid idea that dumbs down the woman.

You know there are lots of good things about staying single (per the video above) but one that I really appreciate these days is not having to do or say anything to please a husband. Until I was single again, I didn't realize how much energy I spent thinking about him and trying to please him. What a relief to be done with THAT!
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Old 03-07-2009, 06:17 PM   #27
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one that I really appreciate these days is not having to do or say anything to please a husband. Until I was single again, I didn't realize how much energy I spent thinking about him and trying to please him. What a relief to be done with THAT!

That's bad if you were the only one trying to do the pleasing. I definitely would not want to stay around for that. I like to use up energy pleasing someone I love, but it has to be reciprocated or it's no fun.
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Old 03-07-2009, 06:59 PM   #28
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My question about this article was more about the cities they chose as so wonderful. Memphis? #1 in crime on some lists. Ft. Lauderdale? Isn't that town loaded with gay men? What's that going to do for us older gals?
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Old 03-07-2009, 07:54 PM   #29
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Remember how Gomez went crazy when Morticia spoke French?
Ah, Morticia! There is a woman I could love!

And for you ladies, would Raul Julia ever drag you to a tractor pull?

Ha
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Old 03-07-2009, 08:42 PM   #30
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Tractor pull? Don't think so. Raul Julia? Maybe. I have found many Latino men to be very attractive. Case in point: Antonio Banderas. Mama Mia!
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Old 03-07-2009, 10:34 PM   #31
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Purron, here's your boy. My lovely Victoria Abril is at the wheel, Loles Leon riding shotgun. This is the end of the Almodovar movie Átame.

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Old 03-08-2009, 08:39 AM   #32
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I guess there are not many fans of Sadie Hawkins day on this board?
I would have been a fan of it had I been asked out on that day...
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Old 03-08-2009, 10:32 AM   #33
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Freebird, you're onto something. Sounds a lot like the advice given out on this board. Okay, everyone, own up to it, how many of you are dating someone you met on this forum?
Not me, but wouldn't I love to find someone who believes in LBYM and FIRE. Maybe we can open a dating section. My ad starts: "loves long walks and low SWR...."
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Old 03-08-2009, 12:02 PM   #34
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So, here's the article we've all been waiting for ().


The article also quotes that "expert" John Gray of "Men are From Mars . . " fame. He gives some startling new and original advice to join new clubs and activities to meet people!. "Try some activity that you are not very good at and ask for help," advises Gray. "Men bond with women more easily when they are doing something to help the woman."

Hilarious! Gray must have stepped into the way-back machine!
I understand how you feel, and how most of the other women posters seem to feel.

But I am going to give you a story that may shed a different light.

My brother is a widower, and about my age. He looks about like me, but has less hair. He is very intelligent and witty and understands his partners unspoken boundaries. He knows when to hold 'em, and when to fold 'em. Also he can talk and he can keep his mouth shut. Other than that, just another guy.

He has had so many dates, many paid for by the women, that he is considering buying salesmen's software to keep track of all the personal details of his new friends. They have ranged from about his age to maybe 20 years younger.

Since he was a faithful husband for over 40 years, his success on the dating scene pretty much surprised me, so I asked, hey Romeo, what is the secret?

His answer-"I am always nice. I pay attention to them. Each one has something she is seeking. It takes about 5 minutes to figure that out. Then, if it isn't going to cost much cash money, I give it to her."

He sees his role not as protector of his social role or self image, but as someone who was lonely and doesn't want that to continue.

So maybe if one wants to date at older ages, one thing that improves results is to give your date a bit of what he/she wants. If a woman needs to think she is beautiful and interesting, a kind man who can see this will make her feel beautiful and intelligent. Doesn't cost anything does it? Why not give the same consideration to a man, who may want to think he is dominant, hip, rich, or whatever?

One thing very certain, an older man is not likely to spend much time with a woman who isn't tending to his psychological needs. He already did that; it was called his marriage.

Ha
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Old 03-08-2009, 12:18 PM   #35
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One thing very certain, an older man is not likely to spend much time with a woman who isn't tending to his psychological needs. He already did that; it was called his marriage.

Ha
Well, yes, I certainly agree that it doesn't "cost" anything to make an effort to appreciate someone. A lot of divorced women complain about the same thing regarding their ex-spouses. But I don't think I've made myself clear enough on that issue. I don't mind, in fact welcome, the opportunity to gain knowledge and aid of any kind from anyone kind enough to offer it to me. And I would be very grateful and appreciative of any man's special efforts to fulfill my wants and needs. The only thing I was objecting to was the cheeziness of Gray's suggestion that seemed to indicate that deception was ok.
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Old 03-08-2009, 12:25 PM   #36
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My question about this article was more about the cities they chose as so wonderful. Memphis? #1 in crime on some lists. Ft. Lauderdale? Isn't that town loaded with gay men? What's that going to do for us older gals?

That's an excellent point! But the article wasn't just for women. There are gay single men over 65 too. But I do wonder what's wonderful about Memphis. Except maybe for country western music lovers.
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Old 03-08-2009, 12:44 PM   #37
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The only thing I was objecting to was the cheeziness of Gray's suggestion that seemed to indicate that deception was ok.
Deception is a loaded word. Everything is relative. How attractive is any older person? In reality, how attractive are most younger people? Some of them might look good naked but their minds would bore or annoy or chase away almost anyone. If you didn't need them for your own wants and needs whatever they are would you be likely to bother?

Face it, there would be no dates if we all took truth serum.

When I meet new female friends in the dance world I can usually predict fairly well whether they will bounce around till they get worn out, or perhaps find someone to go steady with. It isn't their looks unless these are extremely unattractive; it's how realistic their aspirations are, and how well they understand what that implies.

ha
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Old 03-08-2009, 03:54 PM   #38
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Excellent Posts Ha ! From what I've seen from my various times in the single world is you have to lighten up . Don't go into dates wondering how this person will fit in your life . Just enjoy the fun of companionship .
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Old 03-08-2009, 05:29 PM   #39
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I'm not sure why this thread has deteriorated to the topic of "dating" per se. But I will say that I think there is a place in the world of "senior" dating for the group date. The group date is a fun, no pressure environment usually found in "singles" groups or other types of organized special interest groups. I was involved in group dates for a while when I was first single and enjoyed the company of the men and women. No one was trying to "date" anyone. Everyone was just there to have a fun social occasion.

When looking for a great town to be single in I think it's important to learn if there are some of these casual social groups that are made up of single people your age.
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Old 03-08-2009, 07:44 PM   #40
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I agree with you here. I wouldn't hesitate to ask for advice/help from anyone if I needed to. What I object to is Gray's implication that women should use that advise asking behavior as a technique to interest a man. A really lame and stupid idea that dumbs down the woman.

You know there are lots of good things about staying single (per the video above) but one that I really appreciate these days is not having to do or say anything to please a husband. Until I was single again, I didn't realize how much energy I spent thinking about him and trying to please him. What a relief to be done with THAT!
So true.

I no longer had to worry about what to say, what food to cook, whether any little thing would please or displease.

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In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!

--Dorothy Parker
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