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Old 03-08-2009, 08:35 PM   #41
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HaHa's brother is one smart cookie. I've found that so many senior people--especially the ones who've been single for a loooong time like myself--seem to want to concentrate the entire conversation on their life, their needs, their doings. Makes one not very interesting or sexually appealing.
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Old 03-09-2009, 10:12 AM   #42
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So maybe if one wants to date at older ages, one thing that improves results is to give your date a bit of what he/she wants. If a woman needs to think she is beautiful and interesting, a kind man who can see this will make her feel beautiful and intelligent. Doesn't cost anything does it? Why not give the same consideration to a man, who may want to think he is dominant, hip, rich, or whatever?
If the 'kind man' doesn't actually believe she is beautiful and intelligent, then he is deceiving her. This may work in the short run, but it's unlikely to work in the long run. Ironically, the dumb women are more likely to be fooled.

Extreme scenario:

Him: "I think that you're the most gorgeous specimen of female femininity that I've ever met. However, I don't ever want to see or talk to you again."

Her: "Huh?"

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Old 03-09-2009, 10:17 AM   #43
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If the 'kind man' doesn't actually believe she is beautiful and intelligent, then he is deceiving her. This may work in the short run, but it's unlikely to work in the long run. Ironically, the dumb women are more likely to be fooled.

Extreme scenario:

Him: "I think that you're the most gorgeous specimen of female femininity that I've ever met. However, I don't ever want to see or talk to you again."

Her: "Huh?"

This is the narrow minded viewpoint that keeps people sitting at home. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that varies with conditions.

Just have another Martini or listen to a romantic song if you are having trouble seeing hers. I agree with you that if you are deliberately deceiving someone to get either sex or money you are doing wrong. But things are usually not so clear cut.

In one of my dance communities there is a very large woman. She asked a guy who we all know to dance one night. He said "No, you're not my type." "What is your type?" "Someone who isn't fat."

She told me this story while we were having a drink. She was hurt. Obviously she knows that very large women are a minority taste, but she also knows that I appreciate her as a woman. She has lovely hair, she smells good, she wears very dramatic dark lipstick colors, and she likes men. I would have no trouble making her feel desirable, and it would not involve deception on my part. Women aren't stupid; they know that just because you make them feel good you are not necessarily interested in marrying them. It helps to remember that she probably sees "better" specimens than you 100 times a day too. Men and women are whole creatures, not just collections of attributes.

I should also say that your extreme case would not happen to a man who is looking for friendship and companionship, rather than solely a sex partner. I think Mr. Rogers was right, everyone is beautiful.

I would like to briefly address the original question- what place is best for older singles? South Florida is probably best for sheer ease of access to people.

Overall, there are more men relative to women in western cities, high tech cities, Alaskan fishing villages, Edmonton, etc. But most older women do not want to pull up stakes and become waitresses in a mining camp or fishing village.

Some cities are more married than others. Seattle has a lot of unmarried adults.


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Old 03-09-2009, 12:51 PM   #44
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I'm not sure why this thread has deteriorated to the topic of "dating" per se.
I don't know either but since it has:

Penelope Trunk's blog has a post that, while not exactly in the same age group, does fit in the current discussion.

When women get power at work, do they use it like men do?

Quote:
I look around to see if people at the diner are staring at us.

He is surprisingly interesting. He’s semi-pro in an odd sport, and he has a business plan to create a quirky application for the iPhone. We talk for an hour.

Outside he says, “I’d like to see you again.”

I think that’s hilarious. I mean, I can’t believe a 25-year-old wants to see me once, let alone again. And I can’t imagine how things will unfold. So I say, “Okay.”
I, also, don't have a clue why I am following this thread... perhaps I am, deep down and way up in there, a voyeur.
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Old 03-09-2009, 02:07 PM   #45
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I agree with Ha that South Florida is a great place for singles . There are so many activities that do not require a partner. I see single women and men everywhere just enjoying life . There are a lot more single women in S.Florida but during winter season the male population increases with all the golfers and fishermen .
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Old 03-09-2009, 07:57 PM   #46
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This is the narrow minded viewpoint that keeps people sitting at home. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that varies with conditions.
A better spin to put on the issue is to realize that a (sexual or otherwise) attractiveness judgment isn't always required. If you're just going out to have fun, then you can turn off your attractiveness judgment module because it's largely irrelevant to just having fun. However, if you're heading out to find a sexual (or some other type) of partner, then mostly likely you'll do some judging to separate the attractive (to you) from the unattractive (to you) candidates.

I actually don't think we're disagreeing on this topic.

P.S. The above issue is why I don't 'date', at least initially. It's better just to go out and have fun.
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