Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 01-05-2013, 08:07 PM   #21
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
JoeWras's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,530
Quote:
Originally Posted by braumeister View Post
Alas, I have a similar experience. BIL has always refused any help except for frequent requests for "loans" from relatives that he has only rarely made any payments on (none in the last ten years or so). He actually operates a very small, mostly cash, business, which is mortgaged way over his head, and receives a small SS stipend. He essentially lives hand to mouth, at the very ragged edge...
No kidding braumeister! Maybe we have the same BIL.

Quote:
Originally Posted by samclem View Post
And don't forget that "we" includes "you". You've probably been paying taxes for many years to support these programs. You might not have liked the idea and you surely didn't have any input into their screening criteria for applicants, but you've been paying. So it's entirely proper for you (and your spouse) to expect your BIL to take advantage of what you've already paid for prior to giving him more money.
YES. Exactly. That thought is front of mind. For once I get to see where some of this money is going. But man, BIL needs to get a life too. The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much of a <edited out> he is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nemo2 View Post
What pride?
Only in his mind. After years of living off of Sugar Mamas (who finally got smart and dumped him), he's now down to a shack with no electricity. Pride was never really there ever.
__________________

__________________
JoeWras is online now   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 01-05-2013, 10:55 PM   #22
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,617
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeWras View Post
Part of the problem here is that my darling-in-laws are not having a TOUGH, STRAIGHT talk with their brother. They need to sit down and ask him what's what and offer suggestions, instead of buying his begging white lies and constant crises.
It seems to me that your BIL has solved all of his problems quite adequately, even ingeniously. All he needs to do now is to wish that your darlings live long and prosperous lives.

Nobody can take advantage of another person without their permission.
__________________

__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2013, 09:17 AM   #23
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
kcowan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 5,728
Send a message via Skype™ to kcowan
I think the problem is with the OP. I don't think BIL has any problem. He is living HIS life the way he wants it. It would only be a problem if OP decides to become a part of it.
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
kcowan is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2013, 09:21 AM   #24
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
braumeister's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Northern Kentucky
Posts: 8,612
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeWras View Post
No kidding braumeister! Maybe we have the same BIL.
If so, he's all yours, with my best wishes.
__________________
braumeister is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2013, 10:31 AM   #25
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
frayne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 19th Hole
Posts: 2,534
Quote:
Originally Posted by kcowan View Post
I think the problem is with the OP. I don't think BIL has any problem. He is living HIS life the way he wants it. It would only be a problem if OP decides to become a part of it.

Could not agree more and pretty much how I see it as well. Side note; have two BILs that are just about in the same boat.
__________________
A totally unblemished life is only for saints.
frayne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2013, 10:35 AM   #26
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
audreyh1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 16,493
Quote:
Originally Posted by kcowan View Post
I think the problem is with the OP. I don't think BIL has any problem. He is living HIS life the way he wants it. It would only be a problem if OP decides to become a part of it.
The main OP problem, as far I can tell, is that BIL keeps coming around to his wife's family for handouts.
__________________
Well, I thought I was retired. But it seems that now I'm working as a travel agent instead!
audreyh1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2013, 11:08 AM   #27
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,617
Quote:
Originally Posted by audreyh1 View Post
The main OP problem, as far I can tell, is that BIL keeps coming around to his wife's family for handouts.
Whereas the actual problem seems to be that his wife's family keeps giving BIL handouts...
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2013, 11:35 AM   #28
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
JoeWras's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,530
Marriage is a partnership. I love my DW, she loves her brother. So it is my problem, like it or not.

I also get along swimmingly with all my other in-laws. And it is a large family (which is part of the problem since BIL has plenty of siblings to tap).

I'd love to stand up to this guy and talk straight, but it isn't that easy.

But I appreciate your insights.

I'll say this, at least the siblings are finally talking about it with each other. Apparently, dearest BIL was clandestinely asking for bennies from each one without others knowing. That's come crashing down. I have some faith that the siblings are finally getting real with BIL. Just yesterday they finally started formulating that tough talk I mentioned.
__________________
JoeWras is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2013, 01:09 PM   #29
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 404
So with a shack and no electricity, what kind of a lifestyle does this guy lead?
__________________
ACC USN-(Ret)
BLS53 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2013, 01:50 PM   #30
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
JoeWras's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,530
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLS53 View Post
So with a shack and no electricity, what kind of a lifestyle does this guy lead?
Day to day. Cash to cash. Always been this way. No insurance, no savings, no bank account. Here and now. Never seen a doctor. Suspected bone fractures and sprains were home (shack?) treated, and it shows (limping).

The no electricity thing is a recent development. Cooks on a camp stove, but has to ration out his bottles of camp stove propane. He used to have nice clothing, but now pretty much lives on old clothes that he hand washes in cold water. Apparently, the shack has a water supply of some sort. Not sure how, but he says it does. Must not be from an electric well pump.

Call it "extreme ER". In a way, he ER'd at age 25 or so. Found a few sugar mamas and lived off them or odd jobs.

From what I can tell, he'd have no problem living on SSI (something I learned about in a previous answer) when he reaches 65.
__________________
JoeWras is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2013, 02:05 PM   #31
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,972
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeWras View Post
Day to day. Cash to cash. Always been this way. No insurance, no savings, no bank account. Here and now. Never seen a doctor. Suspected bone fractures and sprains were home (shack?) treated, and it shows (limping).

The no electricity thing is a recent development. Cooks on a camp stove, but has to ration out his bottles of camp stove propane. He used to have nice clothing, but now pretty much lives on old clothes that he hand washes in cold water. Apparently, the shack has a water supply of some sort. Not sure how, but he says it does. Must not be from an electric well pump.

Call it "extreme ER". In a way, he ER'd at age 25 or so. Found a few sugar mamas and lived off them or odd jobs.

From what I can tell, he'd have no problem living on SSI (something I learned about in a previous answer) when he reaches 65.
Seems to me his lifestyle is just fine except for the part of him expecting his family to help him with money. I'm probably closer to living his lifestyle than the lifestyle of some of the people on this board with $100K/yr budgets.

Don't give him any money but don't be too rude to him. He's just trying to get by.
__________________

__________________
aaronc879 is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:29 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.