Before, if I wanted something done, I would do one or more of the following things:
pick up the Yellow Pages
make a phone call
send a fax
research transparent prices/solutions
pay
FORGET all of this. Business here is transacted much more according to feudal conceits: personal contacts and hookups, familial ties, political party ties, secrecy, etc.
Things that I could obtain on a moment's notice in the US are unheard of here. "Oh! Why would ANYone want calcium sulfate/a GFCI switch/a shower curtain/bone meal/a ceiling fan
"
Even to vacuum the F'ing house I have to wrestle with wierd-ass plug adaptors because: 99% of sockets are made one way and 99% of plugs are made another way. This is "normal". I hire and pay licensed electricians who don't know the difference between AA and AAA batteries, and to whom the idea of a ground (earth) is foreign. More than one has refused to hazard a guess as to whether it exists in our house. I have to ARGUE with them that I don't want a light switch INSIDE a shower enclosure. I have gone through 3 plumbers, the BEST of whom, called to replace an old leaking HW radiator valve, put the replacement in upside down, and caused a new leak. He also forgot to close the water input to the gas boiler, causing other leaks all over the house as we froze.
We have a national Post Office bank account, opened at the location where we first rented, more than 40 min. away. To switch it to our local branch would require closing the first account and opening a new one. Recently we got a registered letter saying we had to go to the remote branch (no indication why). DH goes there, and it turns out they need both our signatures and physical presence to sign papers that have to do with a connected brokerage account that we never signed up for and don't want. These kind of things they refuse to resolve via mail or fax or phone call; you have to physically show up. He wanted me to go back with him, and I said "why!?". Seeing as we don't even want the damn thing, it's their problem!!
To register our cars took seven 3-hour round trips to Siena (a couple x 2 cars), because they WON'T post the forms you have to fill out on the Internet so you have to go in person to get the physical form. They WON'T mail or fax the blank forms either (forget putting them on the Internet) nor will they accept the filled-out forms by mail or by fax; you have to submit them in person. To pay for each submission and stage of the procedure, you cannot go once, you have to go twice: once, to submit the form physically between the hours of 4-6 on Thursday pm or whatever.. but you have to go to the Post Office to PAY for the submission and the PO is only open 9-1. Then you have to submit (again physically) the PO payment receipt. There's no cashier at the DMV-equivalent. So.. minimum two days and two RT for each transaction or step. Then they worry about emissions so I have to laugh!
If you were to go by the Yellow Pages, you would assume that there is not a single copy shop or print shop in all of Siena province. Of course that's not so, but the twisted way the YP works here is that there are no free listings, even a single line, for those who pay the still-inflated business phone rates. So no one pays extra, which renders the YP useless.
No one reads books, and few people read the papers. The neighbors tend to spy (fortunately we have a pretty large yard, but I was wierded out by a passing farmer guy who remarked on the fact that my DH was away from home! He saw the car was gone.) This could be good or bad depending on the neighbor! A different neighbor came to the conclusion that we must be from Lecce, because he saw our friend's car with Lecce plates. WTF
When you come to a foreign country, most times you are stripped of:
-your credentials, which mean nothing to them
-your insurance record; you start over from the worst "step" and thus pay inordinately
-your connections and base of operation, which is much harder to rebuild abroad than it is to construct in the US
- your power of language; as fluent as I am in Italian, I can't make myself understood firmly. I use words that I KNOW are Italian words, but only the most erudite seem to vaguely understand me. I have had to argue with Italians over the existence of Italian words, but "winning" here is a Pyrrhic victory. Imagine saying something in English like "unencumbered" or "perpendicular", to someone in the US and receiving only a blank stare. This really undermines your confidence.
- your social position; as a female, worth less here, see above. I can repeat myself but it's only when DH steps in that comprehension occasionally magically improves.
The last two are particularly difficult: I go into a store and see some rolls I would like. I 1.) point to the rolls and 2.) say "may I have two of those rolls" (panini). The counter lady looks me in the eye, smiles, and -- reaching under the counter for different rolls-- says "would you like these?" (panini di latte) and I say "no, I would like two of those rolls behind you" and she reaches under the counter in a different place and says "two of these?" (some other kind of who knows the hell what) and I say, pointing, no! those right there.. OOHH you don't want "rolls" you want "little squashed breads".
Er yeah right... Now I could do well to memorize what she called these rolls, but (I am not kidding here).. if I go into any other shop it will have a different name. Even if I ask a different person it could have a different name. It all works out in the end, but there is a lot of room for confusion.
All foods seem to have different names once outside the range of about 5-10 miles. We are in such a wierd zone that cayenne pepper (peperoncino) is called "ginger"!!! (zenzero). If you can't communicate in security that ginger is ginger and pepper is pepper, that undermines confidence.
The way trades and professions are valued here is a bit bizarre. Anything to do with "the concrete" is paid a fairly decent wage. My and DH's professions were relatively highly paid in the US, yet paid dirt here (we moved for other than professional reasons, and to ER or semi-ER, but still it erodes one's confidence to know that a programmer is paid less than an immigrant bricklayer, and a graphic designer less than an immigrant cleaning lady). These "new" professions don't have the historical weight of union and thus party backing. Computers have been around, economically speaking, for 30+ years, but salaried programmers have been lumped in with the "metalmeccanici", the metalworkers' union. Why?
Because computers are made of metal. I am not kidding. A seasoned programmer colleague that DH left behind in Rome made about 3/4 as much per hour as his low-level bookkeeper wife, just because bookkeeping is an older profession retained necessary and TPTB haven't gotten round to assigning any value at all to computer programming.
Programming, like music or graphic design, is seen as something "fun".. something that the boss' nephew can do for free, so why pay more than €3/hr. for it? Whether you need to work here to survive or not, this attitude certainly erodes self-confidence.
Also, here age discrimination is perfectly legal. No one wants to hire anyone for anything if they are over 35. The under-35 class not only benefits from state salary subsidies (to promote "youth" employment) but the under-35s are likely to live with mom and dad. For someone who doesn't need to pay for food or rent, of course the salaries then offered are irrisory. Oftentimes the competition is for "jobs" that actually pay nothing. Just 'trial' unpaid internships. And there is competition for even these!
It's feudal. And if you are not born into the right "guild", or don't have the connections for a lateral move, forget it. The pharmacists are sons and daughters of pharmacists; the lawyers and doctors sons and daughters of lawyers and doctors. There's not a lot of mobility and even less meritocracy. Hence low self-confidence if you are not already among the ruling class.
I wrote a couple of long, boring example episodes, but I won't trouble you with them here. Suffice it to say that there are daily challenges to one's sanity.
![:-\](https://www.early-retirement.org/sk/forums/images/smilies/undecided.gif "Undecided :-\")
