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Old 07-19-2013, 09:57 PM   #21
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I'm glad she made what I think is the right decision. Time for her DH to grow up and be proud of his DW's achievements, and support her. If he does not, the marriage may still be in trouble.

Bigger picture, I think we forget how recently that this type of behavior was considered normal and acceptable in Western societies. I can remember these discussions in the 70's and it was one reason why I prioritized becoming independent through my career so that I would never be financially dependent on a man. In many parts of the world, the husband's wishes still overrule the wife's. We still need to be feminists.

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Old 07-20-2013, 08:59 AM   #22
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
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Indeed. When I accepted my husband's position it was in the 70s.

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Old 07-20-2013, 09:47 AM   #23
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As a female director level, I am happy for her and hope it works out. My ex is an ex because he did not support my career among many other control- related issues and extreme narcissism.

When I started doing well in my career, my DS was young and I had make lots of decisions to make sure I took care of him. It wasn't easy and I divorced his dad when he was 6. So my career had several changes as I tried to be there to see him grow up, but still maintain my career growth.

For me, growth meant continued learning but not necessarily getting promoted all the time. I had titles up to director and back down to manager and back up to director, not due to poor performance but my choice to be there for him.

I married again when DS was a teenager and it was great to have a husband who was supportive of my career, and who always offered to do some of the errands or pickups.

I don't regret my choice, DS grew up well adjusted, just graduated college in May, with no additional semesters, and got a job 6 weeks after graduation. I think having a role model who was happy and successful in her work helped him make his career choice and give him a focus and goal.

So my point is that a working mom can have a successful career and happy kids as long as she remembers her kids come before work...AND if her husband is supportive.
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Old 07-20-2013, 10:27 AM   #24
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Good that she took the decision to go ahead.
If you feel that you need to support her, you could deliver her this argument:
If he supports her enough in parenthood her promotions make it even safer for him to ER, and if all works out very well she might even retire early together with him.

She should also consider which role models she wants to implement into her kids.

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