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Cats of War
Old 05-08-2011, 02:27 PM   #1
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Cats of War

Cats of War

"The U.S. military has long used cats in special operations under the top-secret Covert Anti-Terrorism Stealth (CATS) program. Smarter and stealthier than dogs, cats are also more agile: They can climb trees and leap across buildings to gather intelligence. Studies show they can survive nine times as long as human soldiers".



'Bout time cats got some love.

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Old 05-08-2011, 02:44 PM   #2
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Is Slate now moving into the Onion's territory?
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Old 05-08-2011, 03:13 PM   #3
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"Survive nine times as long as humans..." yeah, definitely a clue that this is a satirical article :wink:

There was a "Mission Impossible" episode around 1970, where a trained cat (actually about 20 of them, all orange) was sent into a heavily guarded room to steal a jewel or sacred object - the cat's small size allowed it to evade weight sensors, motion detectors, etc. that a human would have set off.

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Old 05-08-2011, 03:25 PM   #4
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Cats of War

"The U.S. military has long used cats in special operations under the top-secret Covert Anti-Terrorism Stealth (CATS) program. Smarter and stealthier than dogs, cats are also more agile: They can climb trees and leap across buildings to gather intelligence. Studies show they can survive nine times as long as human soldiers".
Excellent! Special Ops cats...
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Old 05-08-2011, 04:08 PM   #5
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"Survive nine times as long as humans..." yeah, definitely a clue that this is a satirical article :wink:

There was a "Mission Impossible" episode around 1970, where a trained cat (actually about 20 of them, all orange) was sent into a heavily guarded room to steal a jewel or sacred object - the cat's small size allowed it to evade weight sensors, motion detectors, etc. that a human would have set off.

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I recall that. There was also some anxiety when it seemed the cat was considering going 'off script'.
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Old 05-08-2011, 04:25 PM   #6
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I recall that. There was also some anxiety when it seemed the cat was considering going 'off script'.
I've told my cat to never think outside of the box.
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Old 05-08-2011, 06:11 PM   #7
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Possible but not probable! I can just see "SEAL team 6" giving their cat a coammand. And I can see that cat saying "go pi** up a rope". That's just the way cats are.
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Old 05-08-2011, 07:34 PM   #8
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Possible but not probable! I can just see "SEAL team 6" giving their cat a coammand. And I can see that cat saying "go pi** up a rope". That's just the way cats are.
"Adapt and overcome. or take a nap. You feel lucky?" CATS motto.
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Old 05-08-2011, 09:00 PM   #9
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That was so funny! Band of Whiskers
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Old 05-09-2011, 02:38 AM   #10
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I always knew that CATS were superior to SEALs for covert operations. SEALs make a loud bark and the splash a lot. Cats are more ninja like, especially mine when she stalks birds. Two birds in two days
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Old 05-09-2011, 06:27 AM   #11
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Hilarious!! >^..^<
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Old 05-09-2011, 07:54 AM   #12
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These special ops soldiers shall be called SPATS.
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Old 05-09-2011, 08:07 AM   #13
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This reminded me of an onion article as well. Oh, and for those of you with iPads, the Onion app is MARVELOUS!
I also loved the Ikea Cats commercial with all the cats roaming around the Ikea store. Such a cool one!
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Old 05-09-2011, 04:11 PM   #14
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Them dang Rooskies are doing copycat training - video of one of their training exercises which starts with really young feline recruits.

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Old 05-09-2011, 04:21 PM   #15
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I love the cats falling out of the plane with the paratroopers.

Of course, if it was real, not so much.
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Old 05-09-2011, 05:26 PM   #16
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"The U.S. military has long used cats in special operations under the top-secret Covert Anti-Terrorism Stealth (CATS) program.".
Nah, I don't see cats going to war. Mine always seemed more of the "naps, not war" philosophy
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