Suckling While Driving
Posted
Monday, March 02, 2009 7:53 AM | By
William Saletan
What's dumber than driving while
talking on a cell phone? Driving while talking on a cell phone and breast-feeding a baby. Genine Compton of Kettering, Ohio, come on down! You're the next contestant on "I used my child as a human air bag."
According to local police, Ms. Compton admitted to this feat of triple-tasking on Thursday. Here's the
Dayton Daily News transcript of a fellow driver's call to the authorities:
I tried to say something to her. She literally has the little girl on the steering wheel and I said, "I can't believe you have that kid in your lap," and she said, "You want to pop your titty out and breastfeed this kid?" That's what she said to me. I'm like, "You can feed your kid when you stop." It's like wet out here. It's full of traffic. It's ridiculous. She's got like three other kids in the car.
.../...
And that doesn't just go for the lady breast-feeding at the wheel. It goes for the child-safety enthusiast who reports her. Nobody seems to have flagged this bit from the
Daily News story:
"I'm following right behind her right now on Far Hills Avenue," the caller said as he spoke to a Kettering dispatcher in a recording of his non-emergency call that was released by police. ...
You're following right behind her? While talking on your phone? So you can report her for multitasking at the wheel? Hello?
If you see somebody driving while distracted, feel free to report the culprit. But first, practice what you preach: Pull over.