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Old 01-15-2010, 10:24 PM   #21
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I teach a few classes a week. You wouldn't think I should have to say this, but I've learned from experience to ask my classes (these are all adults) to please either turn their phones off, or put them on vibrate. If they feel they must take a call during class, I ask that they leave the classroom area so as not to disrupt others. The catalyst to my stating these requests upfront was this: in one class, I once had three people talking on their cellphones at the same time during class. Hard to believe, but true.

Now texting has taken on a life of its own. I pretend not to see, but unfortunately I do, that some of these people are reading and sending text messages throughout the class. And this isn't just something for young folks; some of these people are older than I am.

I keep wondering if I just live in the wrong place - is there somewhere in the US where people still have good old-fashioned manners?
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Old 01-15-2010, 11:46 PM   #22
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Good timing on this thread. I'm not a Luddite on cell phones, but etiquette is a sticking point.

Tonight it hit a new all time low. We just got around to hooking up the Wii from Christmas and we're having so much fun that I ran out to buy an extra controller. Wal Mart was handiest so I zoomed in there and found a couple of customers ahead of me in the electronics department. One was a guy in his early 30's looking to buy a new laptop while he had his cellphone up to one ear.

He's standing behind me and explaining to the caller that he is buying a laptop because he got a "trojan-worm" and the IT guys can't remove it. That sort of drivel continues on for a while and I tune him out to almost background noise while I wait my turn. Occasionally I catch a word or two when he speaks louder, so it sounds like this: "remote access wouldn't work.....trojan.....email.....trojan....ebook....I T guys"

After a few minutes it changes though, and I hear: "Trojan....don't like them.....lubricant.....not sensitive enough for me....Trojans...break when they get dry....lubricant.....had one break on me once....where do you buy those?"

I'm more a perv than a prude, became bilingual in the Marines (I speak English and profanity fluently), and was a vice cop where an average night's w*rk might include negotiating a $50 sex date in the dark and dank bowels on an adult bookstore with a 300 pound transvestite hooker - with a beard. But seriously, standing in the middle of Wally World discussing your preference and excuses for going bareback with your boyfriends? Give me a break. Have some class dude.

So when I finally snapped to the fact that he wasn't talking about trojans that mess with your laptop anymore, I turned around and gave him a look that said, "you know we can all hear you, right?"

He snickered, and responded to his boyfriend, "oh, someone turned around and looked at me", and then right back on the same topic. With even more specificity given to his preferences and problems in condomology.

What a loser.
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Old 01-15-2010, 11:53 PM   #23
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The "talk to anybody anywhere" ability of cell phones just seems to have resulted in the many spewing out drivel nonstop. It's the new hi-tech pacifier. Driving is boring... call someone on the cell phone (never mind that the lives of others are at stake by a nitwit cell phone-using driver). Going into, out of, or in any store or public place is boring... whip out that pacifier and blab blab blab.

Guerrilla tactics - I walked into my favorite grocery store, and walk down an aisle, list and cart in hand. A woman who I have never seen before walks in, fires up her cell phone, and starts very loud blab blab blab. She is so loud, I can hear her aisles away. Just mind-numbing, brain-liquifying drivel. Now her path is just in front of me, a few steps in front of wherever I go. I can't think. I read my list, and it just slips through. On and on and on at high volume. My brain is melting. I can't stand it.

Suddenly, while she is talking, a duck can now be heard, going "Quaaaack quack quack quack quack" over and over. She shuts up for a moment, the duck has gone silent at that instant, and she looks to the side, then the other side. After a pause, she's back to blab at high volume. The duck returns. The duck only quacks while she is talking, and only in measured bursts. When she stops, the duck stops exactly then or right before. She looks around more each time. Looks at me, sees a guy looking quietly at a product on a shelf, or picking something out, or checking his list. Looks at me another time, sees the same.

It's really bothering her now. She's so loud, but while she's blabbing, she keeps hearing something, and it's throwing her off of her mind-numbing blab track. She knows something is wrong. But it doesn't seem to be anyone around her. Finally, she tells the person that she will have to call her back later, something is wrong with her phone, but it was working ok before she came into the store.

Peace returns.

The duck reigns supreme.
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Old 01-16-2010, 01:37 AM   #24
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I won't talk on my cellphone while driving unless it's an absolute emergency....because I don't want to be the cause of an absolute emergency! If someone calls while I'm driving, and it's someone who I think may be calling about an emergency, I'll answer and ask them if it is. If they say 'no', I tell them I'll call them back when I get to my destination. If it's someone who I know just wants to gab, I hit the 'ignore' button.....they'll get over it! Oh....and I do NOT text....period...and that's my final answer!

I passionately DETEST people who feel the need to talk on their cellphone in restaurants....any restaurants....even MickeyD's!!! Wait 'til your done eating, then go outside....I don't want to hear your sniveling dribble! As for people that feel the uncontrollable need to use their cellphone in theaters (whether 'live' or movie) or in church, I think all ushers should be granted full lawful authority to snatch the cellphone out of their grasp...and STOMP that sucker into pieces....then hand it back to them, and thank them politely to not do that again!!!

The one ray of hope that I've seen here in our town, is the local school boards have banned the use of cellphones by all student during school hours...from the 1st 'bell' in the morning, until the last 'bell' in the afternoon. They have to keep their cellphones in their lockers throughout the entire day. Anyone caught violating that rule is given detention, and the cellphone is confiscated until a parent arrives to retrieve it. A 3rd violation earns a suspension of a few days, and school work for those days can not be 'made up'.

Life was so peaceful before the advent of cellphones!!!
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Old 01-16-2010, 07:00 AM   #25
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I carry a cell phone mostly for emergencies or when expecting an important call. I rarely use it and most certainly turn it off when in restaurants, doctor's offices, social events, museums, etc. My friends and family call me on my land line and leave a message for the most part. They would only call on my cell if they had some important information to relay. I don't even know how to text message. A phone with lots of apps would be useless for me and I don't have the type of job that requires it.
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Old 01-16-2010, 08:04 AM   #26
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Gotta have my Blackberry. Phone, email, Google Maps on the go. And I think your problem must be rude Hawaiians, I don't ever seem to have any of those problems around here. Or maybe, its like the smell of cigarettes - if you are a participant you don't notice
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Old 01-16-2010, 08:41 AM   #27
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I love the duck quacker Gotta get me one of those.

I never talk on the phone while driving and after an incident last summer don't even check who's calling - I let it go to messages. I was on business in Houston and had left the office about 10 minutes on my way home to Louisiana. It was lunchtime so plenty of traffic and I was on the I-45 feeder. I get VERY few calls so when the cell rings I expect it is work - must have left something I reckon. In the seconds it takes me to lift the phone from the easy to use belt holder and look to see who's calling someone launches themselves from a strip mall right in front of me and I have to stamp on the brakes. Lesson learned!!!

PS It was a wrong number.
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Old 01-16-2010, 08:48 AM   #28
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We must be stuck in the 20th century. We have a land line phone with unlimited long distance (in WV everybody is long distance) that DW would die without, and two Tracfones that collectively get at most 5 minutes of calling time a month.

The Tracfones are used most when meeting with relatives.

DW's would be more useful if she'd actually turn it on once in a while. That way when she disappears into the labyrinths of some mall she'd be easier to find.
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Old 01-16-2010, 09:44 AM   #29
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I was an early adopter, with a big box phone from work in the car, plugged into the lighter, with a long cord and a big antennae out the window. Is that a cell phone?

I got used to most interruptions in conversations when my friends were coordinating with their kids all the time. But my power user friends had decent etiquette: Different rings for different people, take kid calls but get to the point asap. Other calls were muted and not taken.

People in stores or restaurants talking on their phones are really conspicuous and distracting. Why are these one sided conversations so noticeable? I avoid it or keep it really short: I'm at Menard's right now, need anything?

When working I frequently lunched with coworkers and clients. I would leave my phone behind in the office. Lunch partners taking a series of phone calls is not fun and a bit insulting. Anyone can wait an hour. If not, don't go to lunch. I had a client who talked on his cell phone all the time, took calls in the middle of meetings, and as a result everything took twice as long as it would have if he just would get down to business. I billed the time he was on the phone, I am not off the clock sitting there listening to him do other stuff.

My sister has a very long commute and we talk everyday while she drives. It used to bug me that she might get into an accident. Now I just enjoy the conversations.
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Old 01-16-2010, 09:55 AM   #30
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I was at a conference once and there was a short break between speakers. A guy took his cellphone and stepped behind the curtains near the podium. I'm guessing he thought that was a private place to make a call, but then entire hall could hear every bit of his side of the call. We couldn't see him behind the curtain, but we could all hear everything. I guess it wasn't as private as he thought.
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Old 01-16-2010, 10:07 AM   #31
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No cell phone here unless MegaCorp gives me one. DW has a prepaid one and that is good enough.
Be careful of what you wish for. After Megacorp gave us all cell phones (and took away our land lines) it was assumed that we were all on call 24/7. I had a manager that would call me on a Sunday with an assignment to be done by Monday AM. That sure made the early out offer an easy call.
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Old 01-16-2010, 10:11 AM   #32
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I have no cell phone. No interest in having one, no need for it. When I am out I DON'T WANT to be found. Not that I make or receive many calls while I am at home. I can call home to retrieve messages from my answering machine if I need to, so I can call people who tried to call me while I am still away.

Over the years, these cell phones have only annoyed me and made my life worse. On the trains was the worst part. The commute to work was already lousy, but to have to listen to them ringing and the loud (and long) conversations which followed was maddening. The train crew were not very good at shushing people, and sometimes the offender was sitting far away if he or she could be identified at all. Not having to listen to that garbage any more is one of the biggest benefits to being retired.

I have a new story for rude cell phone use not listed here: Even at my square dance class one woman has been on her cell phone a few times while she is on the floor DANCING with us. Square dancing is a big hand-touching activity, so to not be able to touch the hands of the other dancers, especially at the advanced level I dance at, makes it a little tougher to follow the calls from the caller. Furthermore, her talking on the phone makes it tougher to hear those calls. Luckily, she is a good dancer so she can (usually) follow the calls even while she is on the phone. But it is pretty darn rude to do that. And she is the first to openly complain if someone ELSE does something which upsets her. A typical dance "tip" lasts only about 10 minutes. She can't call back during the break?

Then there was time I saw man handling not one but TWO cell phones at the same time while he was driving! Could he be given two traffic tickets instead of one?

Then there was the time a woman on a train was yakking on her cell phone to another woman who was on the SAME train! At least she packed up her stuff and moved to her friend's train car.

Cell phones - all they have done is make my life WORSE.
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Old 01-16-2010, 10:19 AM   #33
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I'm 31, and so cell phones and the etiquette were kind of forming while I was in college. I remember that freshman year, noboday had one, but around sophmore year, we were having conversations about how rude it seemed when people were walking around campus talking on their phones, but by senior year, probably a third or more of the students had one.

Right after college, I took of on tall ships for a little while, and I haven't had a land line since - when I moved to Chicago, I bought my first cell phone, and have used it as my only phone line since. It is far better when I'm travelling by ship to be able to keep in touch, get voicemails, etc.

About two years ago I bought one of the iphone 3Gs, but it's been very worth it. I accidentally snapped off the ringer switch about 3 days after buying it, but since I never use the ringer, it hasn't really bothered me for the past 2 years. I keep it in my pocket, I can feel it vibrate when it rings, and if I'm occupied, i don't answer it.

Having the ability to get my personal email (blocked from work computers), get weather (critical sometimes on boats or while on a construction site), use maps (running around to do site visits on projects I've never been to before, walking directions when we were turned around in some backwater Paris streets, driving directions in a city I don't know) and read books (i made it through about 25 novels this summer on my phone) while flying or riding the train, all make it well worth it, though i think I pay too much for a plan (~80/month with fees and such in). The utility I get is worth it, though I'd consider getting a ipod touch to use as a pocket computer and get a disposable cell phone for calls, the data accessability while moving and not on a wireless network is key.

For conversations, it's like anything else - some people have no manners. I don't interrupt a conversation unless I'm expecting something important, in which case I've probably told them before hand (I have warned dates that I may answer my phone during a date because I was the land contact for friends doing a boat transit and was an emergency contact, or when my dad was in the hospital). I assume that any conversation in a public area is publicly heard and limit volume and topic accordingly. people have loud and annoying conversations and arguements all the time without phones in public - same matters of etiquette apply regardless of the means of conversation.
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Old 01-16-2010, 11:08 AM   #34
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Do you also use a slide rule and get up to change the channel by hand as well? Not a luddite, but maybe evolving into one?

We have cell phones – going on 15 years now. They are of marginal benefit, enable bad habits and encourage less discipline in manners and lifestyle. They simply bring out the worst in a selfish, inwardly focused society. The product and service offerings are full of misleading and deceptive promises and the total cost far exceeds the benefit for most casual or non-business users in the US. If you are really thinking about breaking down and buying one, the best route is prepaid, at least until you are sure a new fixed monthly commitment has an equivalent benefit.

Now, a daughter away from home at college might make you reconsider...
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Old 01-16-2010, 12:32 PM   #35
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I must be the odd one here. I find cell phones quite useful in many situations. But that doesn´t mean that I use them a lot or that I get absurd calls. And I am not a techno geek-far from it .....
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Old 01-16-2010, 01:05 PM   #36
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We have a cell phone, but I use the term 'we' loosely as I only have it in my possession once or twice a year. It's a shame too...'cause it matches my motorcycle helmet and car.
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Old 01-16-2010, 01:10 PM   #37
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Now texting has taken on a life of its own. I pretend not to see, but unfortunately I do, that some of these people are reading and sending text messages throughout the class.
I keep wondering if I just live in the wrong place - is there somewhere in the US where people still have good old-fashioned manners?
It is tough today if you require someone's undivided attention to feel comfortable talking to them. Usually texting will be going on while you talk, no matter how important the topic being discussed seems to you. Since to me manners are situational, and not part of God's Commandments, I figure that the definition of manners has changed, so I had better get with it. Anyway, I am old enough to realize that the old manners weren't so great either- usually just a list of things that you could use to look down on others.

"Call me anything, but don't call me late to dinner."

Ha
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Old 01-16-2010, 02:33 PM   #38
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Luddite:
Etymology: perhaps from Ned Ludd, 18th century Leicestershire workman who destroyed a knitting frame
Date: 1811
: one of a group of early 19th century English workmen destroying laborsaving machinery as a protest;
broadly : one who is opposed to especially technological change
I'm not opposed to technological change, but I'm ranting lamenting the unfortunate social degradations that it's wreaking upon the innocent bystanders.

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Do you also use a slide rule and get up to change the channel by hand as well? Not a luddite, but maybe evolving into one?
As a matter of fact I do know how to use the two slide rules (my father's and my grandfather's) in my desk drawer, and I watch so little TV that with my prebyopian eyes it's faster to use the front buttons rather than looking for my reading glasses or the remote control. Yes, our TVs are so old that they still have front buttons. And CRTs. And spouse & I still have our TI-55 IIIs from 1980.

Quote:
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We have cell phones – going on 15 years now. They are of marginal benefit, enable bad habits and encourage less discipline in manners and lifestyle. They simply bring out the worst in a selfish, inwardly focused society. The product and service offerings are full of misleading and deceptive promises and the total cost far exceeds the benefit for most casual or non-business users in the US. If you are really thinking about breaking down and buying one, the best route is prepaid, at least until you are sure a new fixed monthly commitment has an equivalent benefit.
Exactly. Instead of spending money to have valuable benefits conferred upon us, we'd be spending it to avoid having further inconveniences inflicted upon us.

Or we'd turn off our phone ringers and largely become hermits. The jury's still out on that one.

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Now, a daughter away from home at college might make you reconsider...
We'll have to see how that goes. I'm happy to talk with her anytime, but I suspect that she might be more eager to reach us in a timely manner than we'd be to reach her. And while I suppose I could check her Facebook status (for which convenience I guess I'd need a Facebook account), that info might come under the heading of things that I wish I didn't know...
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Old 01-16-2010, 02:54 PM   #39
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Suddenly, while she is talking, a duck can now be heard, going "Quaaaack quack quack quack quack" over and over. She shuts up for a moment, the duck has gone silent at that instant, and she looks to the side, then the other side. After a pause, she's back to blab at high volume. The duck returns. The duck only quacks while she is talking, and only in measured bursts. When she stops, the duck stops exactly then or right before. She looks around more each time. Looks at me, sees a guy looking quietly at a product on a shelf, or picking something out, or checking his list. Looks at me another time, sees the same.
I prefer to carry a pocket full of rubber bands. When I hear one of those loud conversatons I shoot a couple at em right in the nose'. When they break off the conversation to yell at me I just say "Oh was I bothering you ?" When they start up again they get a couple more.
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Old 01-16-2010, 03:26 PM   #40
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Ah yes, cell phones. Love/hate relationship with them. It can be an addiction to keep checking things all the time (had a Blackberry for work in CA - became compulsory when traveling to check email, voicemail, etc.) However, I soon realized people thought you were alwayas available. One of my colleagues left me a voicemail complaining that I left my phone off. Yup, on the weekends I was on my own time.

Before in Germany, used a prepaid phone and texted mostly - they charge the call initiator and not the receiver - back then, texting was new, so was encouraged...and cheap. Now, I have a prepaid German phone (actually the same phone as before, just a different SIM card) and it is off most times. Why - I'm mostly at home where the land line is - also, if I'm doing military duty, they don't allow cell phones in any of the work areas (block of little lockers to hold everyone's cell phone for the day) so it's useless most of the day.

When do I use the phone? When traveling overseas to let my husband know I've gotten somewhere via text - just landed or will be late - actually one time forgot to bring the German phone when there was an emergemcy. My plane from Frankfurt to Stuttgart got re-routed back to Frankfurt - I was so jet-lagged I didn't know we had landed back at Frankfurt. We ended up taking a train to Stuttgart from FRankfurt - hubby had gone to Stuttgart to pick me up - tons of fire trucks and ambulances. Turns out a plane's landing gear had not deployed, so a belly-landing was done at Stuttgart - causing all other flights to be diverted. Hubby freaked out while I finally found someone with a Blackberry to send an email :-)

Hubby hates that I don't use the cell phone and points to above incident as reason.

I also hate the way it has cheapened intersocial skills. I remember one time I went to a meeting in Chicago and most of the participants were checking their email or surfing the internet. I put the phone away and focused on the meeting - people wondered why I was so efficient. It's called focus - plus, I was being paid to attend the meeting and interact and represent my coroporation's interests. Otherwise, I was wasting my time and theirs.
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