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Charisma - embracing it
Old 05-24-2019, 07:24 AM   #1
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Charisma - embracing it

I started life rather small and shy and doubted how much social worth I had compared to the others around me. Class mates seemed so tall, popular, athletic, and quite wealthy, talking about family vacations here and there.

Over the years I learned about exercising, dancing, interacting with others, and investing. Eventually I took a few trips and cruises. And I caught up in size and started filling out some in high school.

I find that I've became the type of person I envied in the past slowly. It is so fun now to be recognized and greeted warmly by others when I enter an establishment, or go to a dance, or exercise class. Hugs, smiles, and vigorous hand shakes are now the norm.

At some point the liking by others becomes very addicting. I find I have to consciously interact with the less mainstream more reserved in the groups but always find it rewarding as they appreciate attention the most.

Indeed life has been a do it to myself project. A feel good achievement. So enough bragging and self back patting and to my question.

I suspect age and maturity, interacting with others skills, and Charisma has had a significant influence on others here as well.

Did others here have to learn this Charisma as a some what foreign concept or were you the Naturals on this, always at the front of the pack so to speak?

Teachers had a test to determine popularity, everyone would list who they most wanted to be or were friends with. Some had everyone, others just a couple if any.
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Old 05-24-2019, 07:47 AM   #2
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We are innately born with certain personality characteristics. I don't see "charisma" as a learned process outside of building confidence. You don't have to be tall or good looking to be confident. Many are shy. Wealth can breed confidence or it can breed arrogance. The ability to love oneself I think can move you toward the charisma point. I have never been good at breaking the ice but once I'm in a conversation I can go with the best of them. If you live by the basic premise that all people are valued equally then no matter what you do or have in life we should be able to converse on the same level.

We all want to be liked by others. A fault of mine sometimes is placing too large of an importance on that. Sometimes we should not care if we're liked because the other person is a $&@$ and they're not worth the effort.

It's a good journey to always want to improve yourself. We don't have to settle for how we were early in our lives.
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Old 05-24-2019, 09:50 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Ready-4-ER-at-14 View Post
Did others here have to learn this Charisma as a some what foreign concept or were you the Naturals on this, always at the front of the pack so to speak?
I definitely did. I was a quiet, shy kid with no self esteem to speak of. Luckily for me I was accepted into a school in NYC that requires a test for admission, and takes kids from all over NYC, so it is very selective. There I was just another nerdy kid, and not nearly the smartest in the class, both of which helped me establish a sense of normalcy I wouldn't have otherwise found so easily, if at all.

I did start analyzing my reactions and the reactions of others, and realized that I was probably reading way too much into it, making the worst possible interpretations of what others meant. I decided to conduct some social experiments, making myself act more social and outgoing (for me back then, at least), and while there were still some jerks, I got mostly positive reactions, which helped me reframe the way I interpreted the reactions of others.

Now I'm the EXTROVERT of my family!! I still don't consider myself an extrovert, I just know that there's an overwhelming chance of a positive reaction when I interact with others, and now I find it obvious that most of the occasional negative reactions are usually more about the other person's mood than about me.

Quote:
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Teachers had a test to determine popularity, everyone would list who they most wanted to be or were friends with. Some had everyone, others just a couple if any.
WHAT?!?!!?? That's horrible! Way to participate in petty middle-school popularity contests, teachers!
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