Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Childless and getting older
Old 06-03-2011, 11:18 PM   #1
Full time employment: Posting here.
Moscyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 728
Childless and getting older

I think I am well prepared with this. Despite the pros of not having children, always knew that there would be more solitude and things are less busy esp for those festive holidays when children come back home. I was further reminded of the solitude when I recently had to have surgery - I guess those are times when one is most vulnerable. I look at my parents who have a number of children and their lives are so different from us - always some of us would be around for them. DH and I keep ourselves occupied by hobbies and activites (he still works) and we go on holidays for those festive seasons. We keep in touch with our siblings with regular visits. We have mixture of friends - with and without kids. People tell me there's a void without children and the void increases as you age. Personally, I don't feel the void - yet. Should I prepare for the void that is to come and what can I do now to help ourselves?
__________________

__________________
Moscyn is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 06-03-2011, 11:56 PM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
I'm sorry you had to have surgery. My DH is experiencing a medical adventure now and I will begin one next week. I think it's during these times worries prey on our mind about being vulnerable...whether we have children or not.

We chose not to have children. My DH is 57 and I'm 53. We’ve never felt a void in our lives because we have no children. My momma once told me, 'you don't miss what you never had'.

Just because people have children, that does not mean the children will be able or want to be in the parent's lives as time goes by. There are no guarantees in life...we just have to make the best of what we have. I think if we look at life that way, we will always be content.
__________________

__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 01:16 AM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,382
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
I'm sorry you had to have surgery. My DH is experiencing a medical adventure now and I will begin one next week. I think it's during these times worries prey on our mind about being vulnerable...whether we have children or not.
bbbamI, I hope you are OK. Please keep us in the loop.


Quote:
Just because people have children, that does not mean the children will be able or want to be in the parent's lives as time goes by.
You are sure right about this one. I wanted to be a good son, but overall I think at best I was so-so, and all too often a complete pita. Parents do not deserve this, even difficult ones. I was great later when things got rough, but not a very bright spot in their lives before that.

What kids give you for sure, is what you get while they are home, and especially before they decide that they would much rather be screwing than doing some boring thing with their parents.

I am satisfied, but I also think the good times are front loaded for today's American families- which really are kind of pseudo families. Without a strong economic structure for the family, the family craps out.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 01:24 AM   #4
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
GregLee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Waimanalo, HI
Posts: 1,881
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moscyn View Post
People tell me there's a void without children and the void increases as you age. Personally, I don't feel the void - yet.
My wife and I, at 69, still don't feel the void, though we don't have children. Maybe we'll hit a void later -- who knows? But I don't think so.
__________________
Greg (retired in 2010 at age 68, state pension)
GregLee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 06:39 AM   #5
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Dawg52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central MS/Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 7,434
I never married and have no children, as far as I know. But I have thought about this topic as of late due to my Mother's nursing home experience. I'm there for her, to help her anyway I can. But if I live long enough to have a need to go in a nursing home, will I be like many there and have no one to visit me? I doubt my nephews and niece will let that happen, but you do wonder. I don't expect them to be there as much as I am for my Mom btw. But I hope I get a few visits, unlike the many that don't in nursing homes. Hopefully I will pass in my sleep before nursing homes enter the picture. Don't we all........

On the whole, no I don't regret not marrying and having children. As I said, I do have my brothers children to fill that void when holidays roll around. And lot's of good friends.
__________________
Retired 3/31/2007@52
Full time wuss.......
Dawg52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 08:20 AM   #6
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 567
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
Just because people have children, that does not mean the children will be able or want to be in the parent's lives as time goes by. There are no guarantees in life...we just have to make the best of what we have. I think if we look at life that way, we will always be content.
+1. We routinely hang out with an 84 yr old friend of DW's dad. He has a kid, grandkids and great-grandkids within a couple miles of him. His kid sees him for a little while every week. He might see the rest once every few months. Sadly, our 4-5 hour visits every 1-3 weeks greatly surpasses everyone else.

We also chose not to have kids. Well, I suppose we could still adopt. We'll see how that decision turns out in 20 years.
__________________
Webzter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 09:08 AM   #7
Full time employment: Posting here.
Silver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Orlando, Fl
Posts: 580
My DH and I also chose careers over children. We both have siblings, but they all chose the no children route as well, so there are no young people in our family at all.

I admit there have been times I've wondered what our lives would be like if we had children. It's an uncomfortable unknown......so I have no regrets.
__________________
You're only crazy if you're poor. If you have money, you're eccentric.
Silver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 09:15 AM   #8
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 16,511
I never had kids because I was afraid I'd get one like me.

As one neighbor with three boys put it "The Lord made 'em cute so you wouldn't drown 'em".
__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 09:26 AM   #9
Recycles dryer sheets
Sandhog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 197
For me, having no kids would have been better than having ungrateful, selfish, unappreciative..., little sh*ts! If I have known what I know now, I would have given myself vasectomy at 20 and retired by age 45 with all the money wasted on kids.

Granted it was wonderful to have kids for first 6 or 7 years. Then more troublesome than happiness there after. I always envy FIRE couples/singles without kids. Of course I get somewhat lonely during illness but I think if I didn't have kids who didn't visit me, I wouldn't get lonely through the illness.
__________________
The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make an important battle decision. That’s the time to listen to every fear you can imagine! When you have collected all the facts and fears and made your decision, turn off all your fears and go ahead! – General George S. Patton
Sandhog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 09:49 AM   #10
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 2
Great Topic. I have been enjoying this forum while lurking over here in the corner and now it is time to join in.

What do we childless people do when we are in our 80's or 90's (still 20 plus years away) and not competent to handle our affairs? My father had my brother and me to take care of things for him for the last 4 years of his life. He was in skilled nursing care but we made sure the bills were paid, his worn out clothes replaced and his care was what it should be.

Either my brother or I will be the 'last one standing'. How do those of us with no relatives find someone we can trust to do the same? Do we find a lawyer or accountant and hope they are in business when we need them?
If things go according to plan money will not be a problem.
Has anyone else given this some thought?
__________________
Rocky Bottlechaser is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 10:04 AM   #11
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,858
I knew when I was 20 years old that I never wanted to have kids. I am now 48 and single and have been retired since 2008, in large part because I never had any kids.

I cannot begin to imagine how lousy and miserable my life would have been had I followed the so-called "life script" and had kids. I would lose all the things I so much treasure by being childfree, starting with my early retirement.

I also like reading about celebrities who are forgoing the life-script to pursue more enjoyable lives by being childfree. Oprah Winfrey, George Clooney, Danica Patrick, Cameron Diaz.....the more we have well-regarded public figures going the childfree route, the more acceptable it will be for everyone else.
I still get my occasional "kid fix" with my volunteer work with several area schools. But at the end of the day, I get to give them back to their parents, albeit happier kids if I have done my volunteer work well.
__________________
Retired in late 2008 at age 45. Cashed in company stock, bought a lot of shares in a big bond fund and am living nicely off its dividends. IRA, SS, and a pension await me at age 60 and later. No kids, no debts.

"I want my money working for me instead of me working for my money!"
scrabbler1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 10:04 AM   #12
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Nodak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Cavalier
Posts: 2,317
I too never married or had kids. I am very close with family (cousins and their kids and grand kids) that live in another town. That's why I'm trying to get my house sold to move to an apartment there. I never had to worry about taking care of my parents as they married late in life and had both passed away when I was 28 years old. My own will, living will, and durable power of attorney are all set up so I'm just looking forward to spending time with the relatives as much as possible.
__________________
"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent." Pogo Possum (Walt Kelly)
Nodak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 10:28 AM   #13
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
frayne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 19th Hole
Posts: 2,529
Like one poster said, you don't miss what you never had. I have had one child, a son who is going on 32, educated, married and has a good job. I can't imagine how my life would have been without him. He was a joy to raise and has given my wife and I many wonderful memories. All that said, the best part now is grand children, which he and his wife have given us two, a wonderful and healthy boy and girl, ages five and three respectively. I retired six years ago and a year after retirement moved 500 miles to be close to him and his family. My life doesn't revolve around them but they play a very important part. Going to ball games, swim lessons, dance recitals, and just investing time that I didn't have as much of to spend with my son when I was a working stiff, is a wonderful luxury now.

As far as those who have chosen not to have children, I respect that, as not everyone is cut out for parenting. In addition, children and even grand children do create a financial investment.
__________________
A totally unblemished life is only for saints.
frayne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 10:35 AM   #14
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,875
If money is not a problem, there are people willing to accept large amounts of it to watch over one's affairs and one's person.

Plenty of people can't have kids, outlive their kids (saddest thing in the world), or never got along with their kids. (One thing that amazed me when I got out in the world, was finding out how many of my friends and acquaintances were estranged from a parent). Somebody has to look after them in old age, and from what I've seen and heard, you get what you pay for in this realm, just as in everything else.


Amethyst

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocky Bottlechaser View Post
Great Topic. I have been enjoying this forum while lurking over here in the corner and now it is time to join in.

What do we childless people do when we are in our 80's or 90's (still 20 plus years away) and not competent to handle our affairs? My father had my brother and me to take care of things for him for the last 4 years of his life. He was in skilled nursing care but we made sure the bills were paid, his worn out clothes replaced and his care was what it should be.

Either my brother or I will be the 'last one standing'. How do those of us with no relatives find someone we can trust to do the same? Do we find a lawyer or accountant and hope they are in business when we need them?
If things go according to plan money will not be a problem.
Has anyone else given this some thought?
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 11:36 AM   #15
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 1,005
We are a childless couple of 53/59.
We both had several childless aunts/uncles and grandaunts/uncles who lived quite independently well into their old age. Most of them lived their life according to their own script, took some interest in their younger relatives, had good humor and were fun to visit.
In return we stepped in for those who let us know that they would appreciate support in looking for and moving into good assisted living and handling their money matters.
We had good role models in them and miss them a lot, now that they are gone.
We try to stay in touch regularly with our nieces and nephews, not because they might help us later but because they are great young people we would like to have as friends.

If they remain as they are today I would be happy to hand over my money management to one of them in 30 ;-)) years and I am sure they would step in.
It's in the family, I guess...
__________________
chris2008 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 12:21 PM   #16
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,875
This is really an important topic, even for those with kids. What are the kids (or anybody else) supposed to do, once they notice you aren't thinking straight any more? Some of the anecdotes on this forum address this, but in the end, the parents always seem to settle down in an ALF. But what if you turn balky, and refuse to give up independence and move to an ALF? What if you turn so ornery, even the ALF wants you to leave?

Hopefully none of us will have that happen, but what if it does? Is there a "second line of defense"?

Amethyst
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 12:46 PM   #17
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,078
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
But what if you turn balky, and refuse to give up independence and move to an ALF? What if you turn so ornery, even the ALF wants you to leave?

Hopefully none of us will have that happen, but what if it does? Is there a "second line of defense"?
Yes, you saw a version of this in Nords saga of his dad's decline. I'm also witnessing it in the parent of an friend.

The second line of defense is the simple fact that ornery, resistant and fiercely independent people, like the rest of us, will someday reach a point where they can resist no more. Eventually failing health will result in hospitalization (assuming they are discovered before expiring) and from there to a care facility of some sort.

This is never pretty but it is often the only path available to those who resist a more peaceful journey to the end game.
__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 01:12 PM   #18
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,382
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
This is really an important topic, even for those with kids. What are the kids (or anybody else) supposed to do, once they notice you aren't thinking straight any more? Some of the anecdotes on this forum address this, but in the end, the parents always seem to settle down in an ALF. But what if you turn balky, and refuse to give up independence and move to an ALF? What if you turn so ornery, even the ALF wants you to leave?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
Hopefully none of us will have that happen, but what if it does? Is there a "second line of defense"?
Amethyst
This is playing out now in my ex-wife's family. The father who was always very powerful is in his late 90s, still cognitively acute but definitely imparied in other important ways, like driving. His wife is 10 years or so younger, but not as clear mentally. They live in a suburban area where you really cannot go anywhere without driving, or taking a long cab ride.

Their children, one of whom is a prominent doctor don't seem to be able to have any influence at all. Father has become a complete tyrant, and apparently no one can or will take him on. They have plenty money, and excellent government pensions and health care, but they have become more and more ridiculously cheap. They have good in-home help, but they mistreat and marginalize her.

I think he may rule the roost until mother falls down the stairs, or burns herself or hits her head on the tube surround, or until he runs over someone in a crosswalk or some other disaster happens.

I remember when my parents lost the will and ability to cope in their home. They lived in the city, near all services and did not need a car. My Dad never enjoyed driving and hadn't driven in years, but my mother continued driving, getting more and more dangerous until finally we just confiscated and sold the car. She never forgave us for this.

The last big mess I remember was when I was visiting during a big and lasting snowstrom that didn't clear for weeks. I always stayed out of their (his) business because it only brought me grief when I let myself get drawn in. But this time I decided to do something about a snow and ice hazard that was threatening them, and the tenants in their triplex. Some old wooden steps that sloped downward toward the front were collecting ice, and were getting really dangerous for anyone using them.

I told my Dad about it, and proposed that we replace them with self cleaning metal grate steps, or other suitable and safe steps. "Oh no, you aren't going to come in here and make me spend money on ugly things I don't need!" So I just shoveled the steps while I was there, and as soon as I thought I had a prayer of getting home (I was driving) I took off. Just a nasty mess. I told my much more aggressive brothers about it and within 2 weeks they had them moved to a very nice assisted living facility. But I would not have been able to accomplish this alone- not enough juice in the family, and not willing to meet their abuse head-on.

I look at sane parents who are proactive and reasonable and wonder, why can't we (they) all be like this?

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 03:28 PM   #19
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moscyn View Post
I think I am well prepared with this.
People tell me there's a void without children and the void increases as you age. Personally, I don't feel the void - yet. Should I prepare for the void that is to come and what can I do now to help ourselves?
I think if you've made it this far then you're not going to have any upheavals.

People still commiserate with us over how miserable we must be as empty nesters. Meanwhile at our house the "Woo-hoos!" and the high-fives are still going on daily, 10 months after matriculation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocky Bottlechaser View Post
What do we childless people do when we are in our 80's or 90's (still 20 plus years away) and not competent to handle our affairs?
Either my brother or I will be the 'last one standing'. How do those of us with no relatives find someone we can trust to do the same? Do we find a lawyer or accountant and hope they are in business when we need them?
If things go according to plan money will not be a problem.
Has anyone else given this some thought?
Funny you should ask that.

In the 1980s, for over four years (before he entered a care facility), my grandfather stopped opening his mail. This included dividend checks, all bills, and all warning letters. (He just put all the mail in the spare bedroom and eventually filled the room.) The utility companies merely put him on the "delinquent" list and kept rolling over the balances... at 1.5%/month interest. The IRS and the state did the same when his taxes eventually went unpaid. For that entire period, 3x/day he ate the exact same meal at Friendly's and tipped extremely generously. His "good times" didn't end until he finally forgot to pay his rent, and that's when the landlord finally phoned my father. The 1980s diagnosis was dementia-- absolutely no short-term memory but lots of long-term memories.

A generation later my father went down the same road for at least 18 months. He's a retired engineer so he built an impressive system of calendars, reminders, and checklists to help keep himself oriented. He stopped using his computer in late 2009 but coped until he ended up in the hospital. From what I can reconstruct in his checking account and credit cards, he was keeping up until month #17 but then went into rapid decline. Alzheimer's-- no short-term memory and progressive loss of long-term memories.

If that's how well those two did without modern technology, then imagine how much further we could get in this century with automatic billpay, Meals on Wheels, grocery delivery, and other Internet services. Look at in-home independent-living systems like iHealthHome (iHealthHome Program). You'd never have to leave the house until the ISP pulled the plug.

If you somehow survive the experience and eventually come to the attention of the authorities, yet have no family to step forward, then you'd get a court-appointed guardian. If no relatives are available, there are also volunteers and paid guardians. Guardianship & conservatorship require periodic reports to the judge but I'm not sure how far off the trail your guardian could get before someone noticed. It would probably be the care facility raising a flag. Googling "guardianship" for your state should give you links to more details for your jurisdiction.

Care facilities also have "trust accounts" for their residents. For example, my father's care facility uses those for residents wanting haircuts. I top up the account balance every month. If someone needed new clothes or shoes then eventually the staff would take care of it and charge it to the trust account for the guardian to handle.

You could start with a power of attorney, which is easily revoked if you change your mind. If you foresaw your decline then you could set up a trust/trustee or select a guardian. I suspect that professional guardians will become a big business within the next 10-20 years.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
This is really an important topic, even for those with kids. What are the kids (or anybody else) supposed to do, once they notice you aren't thinking straight any more? Some of the anecdotes on this forum address this, but in the end, the parents always seem to settle down in an ALF. But what if you turn balky, and refuse to give up independence and move to an ALF? What if you turn so ornery, even the ALF wants you to leave?
Hopefully none of us will have that happen, but what if it does? Is there a "second line of defense"?
Amethyst
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
Yes, you saw a version of this in Nords saga of his dad's decline. I'm also witnessing it in the parent of an friend.
The second line of defense is the simple fact that ornery, resistant and fiercely independent people, like the rest of us, will someday reach a point where they can resist no more. Eventually failing health will result in hospitalization (assuming they are discovered before expiring) and from there to a care facility of some sort.
This is never pretty but it is often the only path available to those who resist a more peaceful journey to the end game.
Dad was Exhibit A for this issue. I've talked with several geriatric care managers about it, and essentially there's nothing that can be done except for "intrusive assistance" or just pissing them off and then waiting them out. Dad insisted that he didn't want to be a medical "lab rat", so Aricept or other cognitive enhancers were out of the question. If he got disoriented he had a card in his wallet with his name & address, along with our contact info, to give to a police officer and ask for help. When he went hiking in the Rockies, he hiked uphill first so that if he got disoriented he would have an easier time getting back to the car. (He wouldn't even discuss GPS-equipped shoes. He had his own GPS, didn't he?) Sometimes elders get tired of being responsible for the care of the place, swallow a little pride, and ask for help. Other times they get into extremis.

Dad's ulcer finally broke through at 11 PM, and apparently that's extremely painful. He was actually going to his SUV to drive himself the few miles to the emergency room when a neighbor gave him a ride. (Even if Dad was fully cognitive, it would never have occurred to him to call an ambulance.) If that neighbor hadn't been returning home as Dad was leaving then Dad would probably have wrecked his SUV enroute and completed the trip in a police car or ambulance.

So I guess the "second line of defense" is the police & EMTs, along with emergency-room doctors. Dad had less than an hour to live when they finally found the problem and started cutting.

The doctor knew exactly how to handle the rest of the situation. Dad was "ready" to go home after his ulcer surgery as soon as the painkillers wore off. The doctor avoided that battle by insisting that he go to a skilled nursing facility until the incision had completely healed and he'd finished his physical therapy. The doctor was the only authority figure my Dad would pay attention to. When we got to the parking lot of the SNF I even had to leave his SUV there (and give Dad the keys) so that he could leave "as soon as he finished therapy".

Once Dad was in the SNF he realized how nice it was to not have to deal with bills, cooking, laundry, and other chores. The transition took about 72 hours.

Our "Plan B" for Dad was 24/7 caregivers in his apartment. Unfortunately if the resident is a male, then the night-time caregiver is usually a male (who gets paid extra to be available on the midwatch) or two females (to avoid assaults). Instead of the care facility's ~$7K/month, Dad would have been paying $12K-$14K/month.

My brother (unmarried & childless) has been seriously weirded out by projecting his own future onto our father & grandfather's situations. When his time comes, we have no idea if I'll be in any position to help.

I'm glad that spouse hasn't seen my father in over a decade. If she'd seen him and me together during his hospital stay she would've needed psychiatric help. Not an issue in her family-- her grandparents all lived to triple digits and her parents are still hale, hearty, & unmedicated in their mid-70s. As you can imagine, our recent experiences have re-invigorated our workouts and our healthy eating.

In our house, the deal has always been that spouse would take over our bill-paying & investments & taxes when she turns 60 (when her pension starts). I had my turn for the first 40 years and she might as well enjoy the next 40. (It's all in autopilot anyway.) We're also subject to "pop-quiz" mini-mental tests on each other, but after that our philosophies diverge a little. She personally wants to euthanize herself when she can no longer take care of herself, while I'm not sure that I'm ever going to stop being curious about what tomorrow brings. Especially if I can't remember it...
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2011, 05:33 PM   #20
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, PA suburbs
Posts: 1,769
Fifty-six year old widow here. My 28 year old son is independent and lives at at distance. My parents died a long time ago and my only sibling lives in CA. I am close to my LH's siblings but none of them even live in the state anymore.
Trust me, from my perspective of working in social services to seniors (hey, I'm almost one, or maybe am one, who knows) the happiest people I know in their sixth decade and over are those who are active, healthy and have maintained some modicum of peer friendships. Oh, and also enough money to meet basic needs and a little cushion for emergencies and some extras. I don't think having children assures one a happy and secure old age. I think (hope) I became a mother to give something, not receive something in return. A modern concept, I know. I have a good son and I think he would come through in an emergency, but I don't expect him to forego anything in his life for me. That would truly make me miserable.
__________________

__________________
WhoDaresWins is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I wish I was younger/older? Midpack FIRE and Money 72 12-07-2009 12:57 PM
Growing Older Jay_Gatsby Young Dreamers 13 05-07-2006 03:27 PM
I am getting dumber as I get older vic Young Dreamers 8 04-25-2005 07:00 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:57 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.