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View Poll Results: Do you or do you not have children? Poll
Never wanted kids, have no kids 59 37.82%
Never wanted kids, but, surprise! had kids 2 1.28%
Wanted kids and had one 23 14.74%
Wanted kids and had two 48 30.77%
Wanted kids and had three 15 9.62%
Wanted kids..but had too many (over 3)! 4 2.56%
No kids of my own but mate did have young (-18) kids 1 0.64%
No kids of my own and mate's kids are out of the house 4 2.56%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 156. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-28-2008, 12:17 PM   #61
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Old 02-28-2008, 01:24 PM   #62
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I'm sure most are sincere when they say it, but I've known a few parents who will quietly and secretly admit they wish they didn't have any (even if they do love their children). In this child-centered society where everything is sold as being "for the children," saying you wish you didn't have the kids you have is tantamount to kicking puppies and could get CPS at your door, or so it seems.
Similar to this, there are folks who advertise themselves as enthusiastically child-free, who, in truth, would prefer that life had worked out so they had kids.

It would be great if everyone who wanted and could cope with having kids, had kids. And everyone who didn't want to have or couldn't cope with having kids, didn't have kids. Sadly, some of the non-wanters have them and some of the wanters don't have them. It's part of this life we live. Things are seldom as black and white as they seem.
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Old 02-28-2008, 01:37 PM   #63
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nope, never tried, never did, no regrets.

i make a really great aunt though. i like to color (yes, with crayons!), fly kites and build sandcastles.

does that count?
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Old 02-28-2008, 01:38 PM   #64
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bssc, me too! Plus 4 dogs right now and the sheep.
It was actually cold last night, and all 5 cats were asleep on me like a patchwork fur blanket. Cute, I tell 'ya!

We try to hang with the kidded friends, but usually have to wait until the smalls get to school age before they have time for us. We're waiting eagerly for the time when they do! And we have a good many childfree friends which is good.

Youbet, maybe that is why my friends with kids don't begrudge my choice, they probably see way too many folks that should have been so honest with themselves.
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Old 02-28-2008, 01:47 PM   #65
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nope, never tried, never did, no regrets.

i make a really great aunt though. i like to color (yes, with crayons!), fly kites and build sandcastles.

does that count?
Yes, its fun being the cool/fun adult
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Old 02-28-2008, 01:50 PM   #66
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This is really interesting. My wife and I have no children. We got married when I was 22 and she was 21. We figured we'd have kids in around five years. Five years came and went, then we thought when we were 30. Once again, came and went.

Now we're 33 and have decided not to have them.
We've had many discussions about it... What are we giving up by not having kids? Is there something wrong with us that we don't want to do it? Would our lives be more fulfilling with them? Would we be good parents.

It is interesting that so many people here do not have children. 37% seems like it'd be a lot more than the population in general, though I wasn't able to find that out by Googling. Do more people consider retiring early because they don't have the financial pressures of children to deal with? Or are people who challenge conventions (such as early retirement) more likely to challenge the 2.3 kids convention?

Hrm...
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Old 02-28-2008, 01:52 PM   #67
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especially the hand-back part.

Childless women like me must have an invisible tattoo on our foreheads - Ask me to babysit.

and just by coicidence...one of my favorite expressions is..."I don't babysit".
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Old 02-28-2008, 01:56 PM   #68
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maybe that is why my friends with kids don't begrudge my choice.
Sarah...... if they begrudged you your choice, they wouldn't be your friends.....
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Old 02-28-2008, 02:02 PM   #69
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Freebird, for the record, I have never been asked to babysit anyone's child. I do get asked to keep people's dogs, though, does that count? You must appear to be a lot more reliable than me!

I had to stay overnight at my sister's when she was having one of hers, I think it was the 3rd one, so that my mom/dad could go to the hospital with her. Besides that, I watched her 1st right after she was born, for about an hour while she took a class she needed for her PhD. I'm friendly with sister's smalls, but we just don't have a whole lot to talk about. Maybe when they are teenagers or something, I'd like to be the cool aunt who takes them on trips.

Oh, youbet, I'm friends with a lot of people that begrudge me my choices--especially our LBYM lifestyle! Like the other night: "hey, you can afford to pick up the appetizer, since you don't have a house payment like the rest of us!" sigh.
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Old 02-28-2008, 02:03 PM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kronk View Post
This is really interesting. My wife and I have no children. We got married when I was 22 and she was 21. We figured we'd have kids in around five years. Five years came and went, then we thought when we were 30. Once again, came and went.

Now we're 33 and have decided not to have them.
We've had many discussions about it... What are we giving up by not having kids? Is there something wrong with us that we don't want to do it? Would our lives be more fulfilling with them? Would we be good parents.

It is interesting that so many people here do not have children. 37% seems like it'd be a lot more than the population in general, though I wasn't able to find that out by Googling. Do more people consider retiring early because they don't have the financial pressures of children to deal with? Or are people who challenge conventions (such as early retirement) more likely to challenge the 2.3 kids convention?

Hrm...
On childfree forums, people often talk of 'following the script'; college, marriage, kids, ...; and of being chastised for not doing so.
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Old 02-28-2008, 02:04 PM   #71
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Do more people consider retiring early because they don't have the financial pressures of children to deal with? .
Absolutely! I think you're making a understatement! There is a huge financial advantage to not having kids. I didn't reach FI until 55 and didn't RE until 58. Don't care to make the financially painful calculations, but I'd guess we could have made FIRE by 45 had we decided to be child-free. I'm happy the way we did things and am content with how we lived our lives, but financially, it's not even close. Child-free = early FIRE, if investing for FI is what you want to do with your money.
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Old 02-28-2008, 02:07 PM   #72
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I'm friends with a lot of people that begrudge me my choices.
Now that's sad.......
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Old 02-28-2008, 02:12 PM   #73
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Totally on the fence.

Was a full-time step parent for 10 years (kids lived with us full time, sans a break in the summer to visit their jerry springer mother out of state) - have been a cub scout leader, boy scout leader, on little league boards, violin, saxaphone, drama and chorus - the list goes on. Would do it again. Now they are starting to "reproduce" - have one beautiful "grand-daughter" and another on the way.

At age 37, cannot give my BF a commitment that I DO or DO NOT want kids of my own. He is of the same opinion - one day they seem like a great idea, other days, not so much. I believe it will happen if it is "supposed" to, but will not go to any heroic efforts to get pregnant. (other than practice! )
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Old 02-28-2008, 02:18 PM   #74
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To kid or not to kid...that is the question. <sorry couldn't resist>

like religion, politics, and voting, having kids is a totally personal choice. we've all seen success stories, and of course disasters.

but nobody has the right to dictate another person's choice. or belittle that choice.

my soapbox for the day.
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Old 02-28-2008, 02:22 PM   #75
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no, i just look gullible. <kidding>

re Like the other night: "hey, you can afford to pick up the appetizer, since you don't have a house payment like the rest of us!" sigh.

allow me to loan you yet another one of my favorite one-liners..."i'd like to pay, but it's [money] all invested." then go on to talk about the recent stock-market slumps. works every time.

am i headed for the flames?

re
Maybe when they are teenagers or something, I'd like to be the cool aunt who takes them on trips

too late. it is completely uncool for teenagers to be seen with adults. age 6-12 works better for "cool aunt" duties.
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Old 02-28-2008, 04:57 PM   #76
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now I am almost 39. No kids for me.
kaudrey, you do realize, don't you, that an Italian woman and a Romanian woman recently gave birth in their 60s? Not that I'd recommend it.....

In the pregnancy stakes, you are a spring chicken! In fact, you are now 5 years younger than my mom was when I was born.

Statistics: older mothers, facts, figures & information on older motherhood
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:03 PM   #77
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Absolutely! I think you're making a understatement! There is a huge financial advantage to not having kids. I didn't reach FI until 55 and didn't RE until 58. Don't care to make the financially painful calculations, but I'd guess we could have made FIRE by 45 had we decided to be child-free. I'm happy the way we did things and am content with how we lived our lives, but financially, it's not even close. Child-free = early FIRE, if investing for FI is what you want to do with your money.
I agree there is an upfront financial advantage to not having kids. However, if you have no money when you are 90, it's better to have kids who can care for you, than not. That's worth a lot!
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Old 02-28-2008, 05:21 PM   #78
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I agree there is an upfront financial advantage to not having kids. However, if you have no money when you are 90, it's better to have kids who can care for you, than not. That's worth a lot!
All you need is a way to make sure that said kids will care for you.
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Old 02-28-2008, 08:02 PM   #79
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All you need is a way to make sure that said kids will care for you.
interesting observation, Khan. i've read several articles about the "sandwich generation", i.e. middle agers are taking care of their elderly parents now while their adult kids (of the middle agers) are still living at home, simultaneously. is that even possible $-wise? seems like the adult kids should be stepping up to the plate and taking care of a) their own lives, and b) down the road their eventually elderly parents.
ergo, did i miss something by not having kids? hmmmmmm...
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Old 02-28-2008, 10:17 PM   #80
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ergo, did i miss something by not having kids? hmmmmmm...
Well...... if you'd had kids you would have reduced your probability of RE'ing in your 40's. As mentioned above, I worked at least an additional decade funding the family. It's what I wanted to do and I did it. But I sure wouldn't recommend it to the faint of heart!

It's not a decision to be taken lightly and I'm really glad to hear so many here chose their path thoughtfully and realistically.
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