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12-24-2011, 01:35 PM
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#21
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,468
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I miss my mother a lot, especially around the holidays. It's been 4 years. She was a wonderful woman in so many ways. At first I had comforting dreams about her but not so much any more.
I have discovered that when I miss her, I can look in the mirror (or listen to my voice), and much to my surprise I can see little hints and expressions of her in me, so in me she lives on. For example I might find myself holding my head like her, or use an expression that she used, completely unintentionally. She may be gone, but shadows of her remain. That is some comfort to me.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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12-24-2011, 08:14 PM
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#22
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,678
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I still haven't had any dreams about my mother yet.
But last weekend my sister and I got together at my Dad's apartment to move some things before having the carpeting cleaned. He's still in rehab recovering from a broken hip and we expect him home soon so we thought it would be smart to get the carpet cleaned while he's still away from home.
My sister and I had a chance to spend some time in his apartment and had a long talk about my Dad's financial situation. In general, my sister's eyes glaze over if you try to talk to her about money, finances, budgeting, anything requiring discipline or planning. It just doesn't apply to her. She likes to have everything she wants NOW and likes to pay full price for things because it makes her feel important. Needless to say, we are VERY DIFFERENT.
So we had the opportunity to really discuss my Dad and his future regarding his finances, just the two of us. I happened to have some spreadsheets printed out (hey, I know I'm not the only one here who keeps spreadsheets handy) and she actually took the time to look at them and get the point of what they showed.
The result was that on an issue that she had been pushing and prodding me to make a decision, she decided that my conservative viewpoint made sense and that she agreed with me. No arguing, no struggle.
We finished what we needed to do at the apartment and then left to go visit Dad at the nursing home. We headed to our cars and right in my path was a shiny new penny half buried in the slush. I (being ME and not HER) stopped to pick it up even though it was just $.01. I immediately thought of Mom and how we used to roll pennies together. She would have picked up the penny and she knew I would, too.
Now, I don't think Mom put that penny in my path. Someone else dropped it and I happened to see it. But it reminded me of her and it made me certain that my sister and I had made the correct decision about my Dad's finances.
I pocketed the penny and brought it home and it's now glued to the edge of my computer monitor. Just a reminder of Mom and her ways.
__________________
Married, both 69. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
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12-25-2011, 07:45 AM
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#23
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 13,127
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They say when someone passes away, if it rains that's a good sign (that the angels are crying). In times past, when my dad, mom, brother and most recently, dear friend passed away it rained. Sometimes just sprinkles, and most recently it was raining buckets. Coincidence or not, it's the comforting feelings and experience that counts.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
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12-25-2011, 12:14 PM
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#24
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 10,252
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I hope someone cares enough to dream about me when I pass away.
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12-25-2011, 06:38 PM
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#25
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Collin County, TX
Posts: 9,293
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LOL!
I hope someone cares enough to dream about me when I pass away.
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I imagine someone will LOL......
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
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01-05-2012, 01:25 PM
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#26
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 13,127
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I had a comforting dream of my dear friend. Perhaps it was because yesterday was almost exactly one month since she passed away. The dream was simple. In it, she was beside me (without any of the hospital life support hookups). We said to each other that we missed one another. We held hands and gave each other a hug and wished each other well. The feeling (vibe) I had in the dream was as though she passed on and was checking in on me from heaven, which was comforting. She's still on my mind much. That's true especially when I see something like a new TV program and almost forget and want to call her up and tell her about that. But time does have a way of easing the pain.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
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01-05-2012, 01:37 PM
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#27
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,430
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Quote:
Originally Posted by easysurfer
I had a comforting dream of my dear friend. Perhaps it was because yesterday was almost exactly one month since she passed away. The dream was simple. In it, she was beside me (without any of the hospital life support hookups). We said to each other that we missed on another. We held hands and gave other a hug and wished each other well. The feeling (vibe) I had in the dream was as though she passed on and was checking in on my from heaven which was comforting. She's still on my mind much. That's true especially when I see something like a new TV program and almost forget and want to call her up and tell her about that. But time does have a way of easing the pain.
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What a nice dream that must've been, easy surfer. Sounds very nice and comforting to me.
omni
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01-05-2012, 07:09 PM
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#28
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Dryer sheet aficionado
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 42
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My dad died on June 4th, 2010. In fact, today would have been his 61st birthday. I've had two dreams of him, within a couple months of him dying, that felt so real.
In the first, my mom, dad, brother, myself, and our church's old youth pastor (and wife) were all gathered in a circle at our church holding hands and praying. The pastor was praying, but I could hear my dad sort of praying to himself at the same time and whispering. I was standing next to him holding his hand. I don't know what he was saying, but it was a very comforting dream. That old youth pastor moved to France, but flew back here to speak at my dad's funeral. It meant the world to all of us.
The second dream was set in my parents living room. My mom, brother, and I were all sitting out in the living room talking and then my dad walked in and sat down. I've never been in shock before, but in the dream I was. I remember looking at him and I couldn't even utter a word. I finally ran over to him still fumbling for words as I couldn't believe he was sitting there in front of me. He acted like it was so weird and I looked around at my mom and brother and they weren't sure what I was doing. I know I said things like what are you doing here, how is this happening, and similar comments. I was so unbelievably happy that he was there. When I woke up, I couldn't keep the tears out of my eyes.
It's amazing the amount that I think about my dad each day. He's been gone a year and a half, yet there's never been a day that I haven't spent time reminiscing about my time with him.
The images of those dreams are still crystal clear in my memory. I don't think they will ever fade. Fortunately, I was very, very close to my dad and was able to spend a lot of time with him over the years.
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01-05-2012, 07:26 PM
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#29
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 728
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My dad passed away in September last year. I dreamt about him almost every week for 3 months but can never recall what specific events happened in the dreams - just that he was in my dreams and he was not suffering. Lately, I haven't dreamt about him - I wonder why eventhough I still speak to him (not that I see him, just casual speaking like "I hope you are fine and happy, dad" ) before I sleep.
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01-05-2012, 10:26 PM
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#30
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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A lot of very high quality people posting to this thread. It is comforting just to read of your experiences.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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01-05-2012, 10:37 PM
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#31
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 270
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haha
A lot of very high quality people posting to this thread. It is comforting just to read of your experiences.
Ha
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+1...actually, plus a whole bunch!
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02-09-2012, 09:09 AM
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#32
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 13,127
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I woke up to a comforting dream of my friend this morning. It's been a little over two months since she passed away. Overall, I've been doing okay. To grieve at my own pace. That is, taking time out for reflection and memories, yet also, to not be paralized with grief too.
Yesterday was a bit of a struggle. I've been gathering stuff to donate to Goodwill over the past couple of months. Yesterday in my closet was a box of old presents my friend had given to me over the years. Seeing all the stuff was somewhat sad knowing that the gift giving to each other will never happen again. That's part of the challenge I think when we lose someone. The challenge of when and what to let go of and what to hang on to.
The dream I had was very short. Upon waking up, I dreamt that she was with my mother (who passed away back in 1994). In the dream, they had become friends over on the other side. After I see my friend and us giving each other a big welcome hug, she says to me, "I'll always be a part of your heart." That reassures and comforts me as I wake up.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
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02-09-2012, 11:33 PM
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#33
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gone traveling
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Placerville
Posts: 161
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My mother visited me in a dream a couple weeks ago. Instead of the 78 years at the time of death, mom was around mid 40's and very lovely. She woke me up and I couldn't believe she was there. I kept telling her to hang on, that I wanted to wake up DW because no one was going to believe me that my mom had come back from the dead. She told me there wasn't time, that she just wanted to stop by and say hi. She said 'they' were on the way to go get Bill. I looked behind her out the window and there were several people I recognized. All dead now. I woke up and didn't think a whole lot about it until later that day when my dad called to tell me his brother, my Uncle Bill had passed away very early that morning. He had been in the hospital for several days fighting a respiratory complication. I had no idea he had been ill. He was 75 and always seemed healthy. He was 5 years younger than my dad, who is 80 and going strong.
I went to his memorial service and thought about telling my cousin, Uncle Bill's son, about my dream, but didn't...
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02-10-2012, 10:08 AM
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#34
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skipro3
My mother visited me in a dream a couple weeks ago. Instead of the 78 years at the time of death, mom was around mid 40's and very lovely. She woke me up and I couldn't believe she was there. I kept telling her to hang on, that I wanted to wake up DW because no one was going to believe me that my mom had come back from the dead. She told me there wasn't time, that she just wanted to stop by and say hi. She said 'they' were on the way to go get Bill. I looked behind her out the window and there were several people I recognized. All dead now. I woke up and didn't think a whole lot about it until later that day when my dad called to tell me his brother, my Uncle Bill had passed away very early that morning. He had been in the hospital for several days fighting a respiratory complication. I had no idea he had been ill. He was 75 and always seemed healthy. He was 5 years younger than my dad, who is 80 and going strong.
I went to his memorial service and thought about telling my cousin, Uncle Bill's son, about my dream, but didn't...
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Thank you for sharing this. It is an amazing dream, and seems hard to account for without accepting the spiritual side of life.
Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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02-10-2012, 10:47 AM
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#35
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,592
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My father passed last March from cancer. My sister was at his bed side 24/7 for about 3 weeks straight prior to his passing. They connected on another level ... she "sees" him often.
In the last "visit" he showed her a future grandchild and said "I want this for you ... but you need to stop smoking". She hasn't smoked since.
__________________
FIRE'd since 2005
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02-10-2012, 11:05 AM
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#36
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,983
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tryan
My father passed last March from cancer. My sister was at his bed side 24/7 for about 3 weeks straight prior to his passing. They connected on another level ... she "sees" him often.
In the last "visit" he showed her a future grandchild and said "I want this for you ... but you need to stop smoking". She hasn't smoked since.
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This is beautiful. Is this a child that your sister would bear, or would she be the grandmother?
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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02-10-2012, 12:19 PM
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#37
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,592
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She would be the grandmother. She saw herself (aged) in a rocking chair with the baby.
My siblings and I didn't know what to make of her reports (grief-stricken-headgames?) ... but when she quit smoking cold-turkey .
__________________
FIRE'd since 2005
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02-10-2012, 02:38 PM
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#38
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 13,127
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skipro3
My mother visited me in a dream a couple weeks ago. Instead of the 78 years at the time of death, mom was around mid 40's and very lovely. She woke me up and I couldn't believe she was there. I kept telling her to hang on, that I wanted to wake up DW because no one was going to believe me that my mom had come back from the dead. She told me there wasn't time, that she just wanted to stop by and say hi. She said 'they' were on the way to go get Bill. I looked behind her out the window and there were several people I recognized. All dead now. I woke up and didn't think a whole lot about it until later that day when my dad called to tell me his brother, my Uncle Bill had passed away very early that morning. He had been in the hospital for several days fighting a respiratory complication. I had no idea he had been ill. He was 75 and always seemed healthy. He was 5 years younger than my dad, who is 80 and going strong.
I went to his memorial service and thought about telling my cousin, Uncle Bill's son, about my dream, but didn't...
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That is an amazing dream. Really makes one think about the possibility of spiritual communication.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
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02-10-2012, 02:59 PM
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#39
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
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I'm sorry about your uncle, Skipro. Your story gave me goosebumps. Your cousin might really like to hear it when you think it's appropriate.
__________________
“Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first?” J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
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02-10-2012, 06:54 PM
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#40
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,610
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Many nice, and fascinating stories here.
Developing ones ability to have "lucid dreams" (lucid meaning knowing you are dreaming while you are dreaming and having an ability to control the dream) is a very interesting study.
There are more than a few ways to go about this, which generally includes by necessity, the ability to recall your dreams.
I've used self hypnosis with a fair amount of success. I've been able to control my actions in dreams, but never to control the content. My dream recall is very good.
My hope had been, and still is to have some dreams involving family member contact like many of you have described.
When my Mother passed on, a door really closed because she was my last real link to my past and much family history. As the years have passed, the regret that sticks with me is that I didn't ask her more questions about things only she could have answered. A three hour chat complete with fine wine would be the greatest gift I could ever receive. Ask those questions and say those things you want to say while you can.
At any rate, if anyone is interested in lucid dreams, a goggle search will reveal the many avenues that can be followed. The author of my self hypnosis book is Forbes Robbins Blair.
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