Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 02-12-2015, 09:03 AM   #61
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
travelover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 9,731
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2B View Post
It would be even less if you are bisexual. I suspect that most strong heterosexuals would not be interested in a bisexual partner.........
Thanks for the insight. I'll change up my Match profile.
__________________

__________________
Yes, I have achieved work / life balance.
travelover is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 02-12-2015, 09:08 AM   #62
Full time employment: Posting here.
Accidental Retiree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 962
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2B View Post
I a guy I work with (for 9 more in- office days ) that is on multiple dating sites. He makes great money with no kids. He is currently "in relationships" with four different women although the number may have changed through these sites. Most have children. Once they figure out how much he makes and they envision the possibilities they join his harem although they aren't aware of the others.
I wonder how he has the time and energy to work!
__________________

__________________
Chief Retirement Strategist
The AR Group
Accidental Retiree is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2015, 09:34 AM   #63
Full time employment: Posting here.
Silver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Orlando, Fl
Posts: 567
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2B View Post
If it was genetic I'm sure that would have been (un)bred out of the gene pool although the ability to eliminate reproduction without abstinence is a relatively recent option. Wanted or not, you had a high likelihood of reproducing.
Actually, the last part of your statement is untrue. There have been reliable forms of birth control readily available during my entire reproductive life, luckily besides abstinence.

Having children is always a choice. An individual's choice may be influenced by many things (impulse control, religion, moral beliefs, product failure without back-up plan) but it is always a choice.
__________________
The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.
Silver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2015, 09:42 AM   #64
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
2B's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Houston
Posts: 4,330
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver View Post
Actually, the last part of your statement is untrue. There have been reliable forms of birth control readily available during my entire reproductive life, luckily besides abstinence.

Having children is always a choice. An individual's choice may be influenced by many things (impulse control, religion, product failure without back-up plan) but it is always a choice.
During your and my reproductive lives, I agree. I was referring to centuries past where the "protections" and "alternatives" were not as effective and available.
__________________
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane -- Marcus Aurelius
2B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-2015, 02:42 PM   #65
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 154
I can comment on eHarmony. The first thing to know is that you can't search the profiles on eHarmony. Instead, you receive matches that are sent to you based on your answers to their extensive opening questionnaire and about 6 factors that you can adjust in your profile. Those are things like distance to search, smoker or not, race, religion and age.

What I found was that, if I set the range to 60 miles or less, I received very few matches (searching for single women in their 40s), perhaps one a week. Expanding the range to 120 miles brought a very large city into the picture and I would receive 5 or 6 matches a week.

I had 3 dates with one local match in 6 months. I never seriously considered contacting any of the matches that were further away. Perhaps being a college graduate in the 28% tax bracket was somehow self limiting in the context of their matching algorithms? Also, the median age in my county is 33, about 10 years lower than the surrounding, more rural counties so living in something of a college town isn't helpful (anymore!)

Regarding the question about children, a co-worker gave me what I thought was some good advice. She has been dating an older man for a long time and she shared that it got a lot easier as soon as his kids got their drivers licenses.
__________________
NoiseBoy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 10:36 AM   #66
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,747
Okay, since this is a "free to communicate" weekend on eharmony, I went ahead and set up a profile (well, at least I'm about 40% done as of now). The multiple choice part wasn't so bad, but the essay was brutal . So I exaggerated a bit.

But I think there is a flaw in the profile questions. Not once did the questions ask about pets. In particular the date killer "Do you like cats?"
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 10:46 AM   #67
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,192
Quote:
Originally Posted by easysurfer View Post
Okay, since this is a "free to communicate" weekend on eharmony, I went ahead and set up a profile (well, at least I'm about 40% done as of now). The multiple choice part wasn't so bad, but the essay was brutal . So I exaggerated a bit.

But I think there is a flaw in the profile questions. Not once did the questions ask about pets. In particular the date killer "Do you like cats?"
I am taken so this isn't for me but...

we have enough engineers here - someone should put together a dating site right here for E-R forum members - You already know everyone LBYM's and their NW is pretty good, right?
__________________
tmm99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 10:56 AM   #68
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,747
Quote:
Originally Posted by tmm99 View Post
I am taken so this isn't for me but...

we have enough engineers here - someone should put together a dating site right here for E-R forum members - You already know everyone LBYM's and their NW is pretty good, right?
I'm kinda fascinated at the so called 29 compatibility dimensions pitched by eHarmony and if that really is accurate or not.

The set of people on eHarmony is already skewed towards compatibility as they are single (well supposedly) and not married players looking for a hookup, but instead looking for long-term relationships.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 11:14 AM   #69
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
nash031's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Coronado
Posts: 1,465
Quote:
Originally Posted by MooreBonds View Post
I hear people make comments like this and just don't get it. Do you assume that just because you have a few not-so-great dates that every single woman or man on-line is undesirable? Have you ever been married? Was your ex the first person you EVER met in school/a bar/public place/set up by relatives/etc.?

People seem to see nothing wrong with the endless attempt to meet someone randomly, and meeting hundreds of people that way without ending up married...but a few dates from on-line matches that didn't make them swoon at first-sight, and it's forever ruled out
Stigma. People don't want to have to tell others that they met online because it makes you a nerd or something. I've always viewed it as a way for busy people to expand their opportunities to meet other people. I think I went out with around ten different women in three cities in my various experiments with Match. I'd say 75% got to a second date; most ended after that, sometimes me, sometimes them. Last one is at 6+ years and one wedding.

I never did the questionnaire sites as I wanted to make my own choices, and in that regard online was no different than going to a bar, library, church group, etc. except I usually had more information going in to say "hi."

I get a little chuckle out of the "everyone I met was weird..." comments from people. What do you think they were thinking about you? No doubt a few thought the same thing. I'm sure I'm a weird-triathlete-meathead-engineer-jerk guy to some women out there I met through any number of means and I couldn't care less! Much like me remembering some of them, I'm sure it's a funny 30-second story and then everyone moves on with their happy lives!
__________________
"So we beat to our own drummer in the sun;
We ask for nobody's permission to run.
I just wanna live in a world like that;
Now I'm gonna live in a world like that!" - World Like That, O.A.R.
nash031 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 12:26 PM   #70
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,605
Could it be that using an on-line matching service tends to "commodify" other people, and make the searcher feel like a customer who righteously expects "customer satisfaction" with every selection, and feels resentful/used when the "product" doesn't deliver?

Also, there could be the mind-set that "I went to all this trouble [to design my own profile and describe my requirements], and I expect results!"

Amethyst

Quote:
Originally Posted by MooreBonds View Post
LOL....no. Millionairematch.com

People seem to see nothing wrong with the endless attempt to meet someone randomly, and meeting hundreds of people that way without ending up married...but a few dates from on-line matches that didn't make them swoon at first-sight, and it's forever ruled out
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 01:11 PM   #71
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
Could it be that using an on-line matching service tends to "commodify" other people, and make the searcher feel like a customer who righteously expects "customer satisfaction" with every selection, and feels resentful/used when the "product" doesn't deliver?

Also, there could be the mind-set that "I went to all this trouble [to design my own profile and describe my requirements], and I expect results!"

Amethyst
Agree 100% on both points.

But "commodifying" no more than pre on-line days like buying drinks at a bar and going out wining and dining.

A big part is what makes someone say "This is the one!". Is it finally finding the soulmate? Or the clock ticking and seeing all the friends and family members coupling? Or another reason.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 01:18 PM   #72
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,332
Quote:
Originally Posted by easysurfer View Post
Agree 100% on both points.

But "commodifying" no more than pre on-line days like buying drinks at a bar and going out wining and dining.
I think this is not true. When a man is with a woman, he is confronted by the entirety of her being, physical, social, intellectual, etc. etc. A far more complex and actually more complete picture than any bio, even on the rare occasions when the bio writer is honest.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 01:32 PM   #73
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,747
On eharmony, I'm now up to 95% complete as for creating a minimum profile. The last 5% is subscribing which I haven't done . What's funny (ironic funny) is watching an eharmony ad on TV is about finding your soulmate. But unless you subscribe, you can't see the photos of the matches on eharmony .
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 01:36 PM   #74
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,605
How true! Even someone's scent, or lack of one, can be important to physical attraction. I have not used an on-line dating app; but I'm willing to be they don't mention anything about odors

Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
I think this is not true. When a man is with a woman, he is confronted by the entirety of her being, physical, social, intellectual, etc. etc. A far more complex and actually more complete picture than any bio, even on the rare occasions when the bio writer is honest.

Ha
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 01:37 PM   #75
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,605
Aww, you just can't bring yourself to "commodify." (I presume subscribe = pay).

A..

Quote:
Originally Posted by easysurfer View Post
On eharmony, I'm now up to 95% complete as for creating a minimum profile. The last 5% is subscribing which I haven't done . What's funny (ironic funny) is watching an eharmony ad on TV is about finding your soulmate. But unless you subscribe, you can't see the photos of the matches on eharmony .
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 01:40 PM   #76
Full time employment: Posting here.
Accidental Retiree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 962
Quote:
Originally Posted by easysurfer View Post
Okay, since this is a "free to communicate" weekend on eharmony, I went ahead and set up a profile (well, at least I'm about 40% done as of now). The multiple choice part wasn't so bad, but the essay was brutal . So I exaggerated a bit.



But I think there is a flaw in the profile questions. Not once did the questions ask about pets. In particular the date killer "Do you like cats?"

They leave out pets? Wow, I agree that is a big omission.

No 2nd date for the guy who told me to leave the dog home.

Married the guy who buttoned her inside his Levi's jacket before taking us out on his motorcycle.

That little dog is long gone, but the biker is still here 40 years later.
__________________
Chief Retirement Strategist
The AR Group
Accidental Retiree is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 01:46 PM   #77
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Accidental Retiree View Post
They leave out pets? Wow, I agree that is a big omission.

No 2nd date for the guy who told me to leave the dog home.

Married the guy who buttoned her inside his Levi's jacket before taking us out on his motorcycle.

That little dog is long gone, but the biker is still here 40 years later.
I did find a place to enter pet preferences. But that wasn't in the main Q&A. Now I have likes dogs, cats and fish. Didn't choose rodents
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 01:48 PM   #78
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
Aww, you just can't bring yourself to "commodify." (I presume subscribe = pay).

A..
No, I do understand about subscribing get full functionality.

But I just thought it funny that so many times when putting down our ideal match, folks don't say "I'm looking for someone with killer looks but a beautiful person" yet, when following the money, the moment of truth is no pay, no lookie
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 02:21 PM   #79
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,605
Yep. It's the same moment of truth. no matter what "method" is used! Oh, he/she sounds wonderful, can't wait to meet him/her, oh there he/she is...eeegh...that person has funny ears!

Quote:
Originally Posted by easysurfer View Post
No, I do understand about subscribing get full functionality.

But I just thought it funny that so many times when putting down our ideal match, folks don't say "I'm looking for someone with killer looks but a beautiful person" yet, when following the money, the moment of truth is no pay, no lookie
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2015, 02:30 PM   #80
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
Yep. It's the same moment of truth. no matter what "method" is used! Oh, he/she sounds wonderful, can't wait to meet him/her, oh there he/she is...eeegh...that person has funny ears!
It sounds harsh, but how does that go again?

Like in a job interview the impression is usually made up in about the first 30 seconds of meeting? That's why appearance is so important.
__________________

__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
WSJ article Couples Dating Sarah in SC Other topics 46 11-14-2009 07:28 AM
Internet dating advice wanted/needed Zoocat Other topics 303 07-01-2008 08:04 PM
Protecting Nephew from Russian Dating Scam TromboneAl Other topics 18 11-17-2007 09:22 AM
Dating in your 50's and beyond - questions Fireup2020 Other topics 58 08-13-2007 08:46 AM
FI and dating Scrooge Life after FIRE 68 08-15-2006 09:15 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:27 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.