Comparing dating sites

[Dreaming of Freedom]

I am so glad I met my current boyfriend of 12 years the old fashioned way...at the lake. Even though I am 38 years old and embrace technology, online dating freaks me out. I guess if I had not met my boyfriend when I did, I might have ended up as a crazy cat lady. Anyway, I think trying to hook up with a mate through mutual interests and activities is a good way to find that special someone.

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[timo2]

The only dating site I could get on was the 'carbon dating' site. ;-)

 

[FUEGO]

At least one person I used to work with used marriedsecrets dot com a lot. It's for married people seeking rendezvouses with other married people I think. That site, along with er dot org showed up on the "Top 10 most visited" list of websites when my former employer tried to remind us of the Proper Internet Usage Policy.

We never did figure out who was surfing on marriedsecrets all the time.

 

[Amethyst]

The old-fashioned way is always going to be "best" if you can possibly manage it. For one thing, human beings aren't engineering projects, and defining "requirements" can be tricky.

Example: Mr. A's daughter married a much older man (several years older than I am) whom she met at a social event; they have been together for 18 years. They are each other's first spouse. Because of the large age difference, it's no doubt unlikely they would have "selected for" one another online.

 

[omni550]

At least one person I used to work with used marriedsecrets dot com a lot. It's for married people seeking rendezvouses with other married people I think. That site, along with er dot org showed up on the "Top 10 most visited" list of websites when my former employer tried to remind us of the Proper Internet Usage Policy.

We never did figure out who was surfing on marriedsecrets all the time.

Might have been a suspicious spouse constantly checking to see if their spouse had posted their profile online.

omni

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[Helen]

I also have a profile on a website centered around higher income/net worth people. As expected, most people on there are shallow, and just looking for someone with some bucks to spend on them and just be pretty arm candy.

Is it the Retire Early website?

 

[DayDreaming]

I tried match.com a few years ago. I only met a few women for dates and all of those encountered turned out to be a bit strange. Gave up on online dating.

Maybe early-retirement.org needs a singles forum.

 

[jIMOh]

I don't use income or savings as a criteria for dating, I just let people know I will more likely share my house and food than my bank account.

And I will make decisions in my financial interest over a persons "personal" interest half the time at least....

 

[Helen]

Have any of you tried Meetup groups? It's a great way to meet people who share similar interests. I imagine it would be a great, no pressure way to find a partner.

 

[Silver]

My wife and I met on Match in 06' so my take is a bit dated, pardon the pun. I found Match to have a lot of control over the characteristics I was looking for. Eharmony didn't.

I actually found my wife by searching with the keyword 'kayaking'. And it's been smooth paddling ever since, well almost.

I also met my husband on Match.com in October 2006. We married one year later and I have never been happier.

Prior to meeting my husband, I met a lot of gentlemen from Match.com, and dated one for almost a year. Overall I thought the experience was really good and would recommend it as a way to meet people in your area.

 

[clifp]

Is it the Retire Early website?

. I probably missed the gossip, but has anybody married/had a serious relationship with someone they met via the forum?

 

[GrayHare]

Combining two serious LBYMers from here? I don't think dryer sheets can stand that much reuse punishment.

 

[easysurfer]

A look at eharmony on Nightline:

 

[tmm99]

Several years ago, I completed the free assessment questionnaire on Eharmony. Afterward, instead of sending me my "free matches", they said that based on how I answered the questions, they would not be able to match me up with anyone and politely thanked me for taking the time to answer their questions and wished me luck. I recall the email said that this happens to about 10% of the people.
Guess I'm just a unique person.

This is like the funniest thing I have heard all day! Yep you must be quite unique!



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[scrabbler1]

I tried a few of those websites in an free basis (i.e. viewing profiles and posting my own profile) but nothing could overcome my being a childfree person. Simply stating that I have no children, don't want any children, or seeing in the woman's profile that she either is single/divorced/widowed with children eliminated nearly all of the profiles I saw (or eliminated me from further consideration by them). I never spent a dime on any of those dating services.


However, as I got older (into my 40s), if a woman had adult child(ren) who lived on their own and did not rely on their moms for everyday life, then these women became possibilities again. I met my ladyfriend 10 years ago and I met her adult daughter (who is divorced with 3 kids of her own) for the first time last year. She (her daughter) lives 700 miles away.

 

[jIMOh]

I tried a few of those websites in an free basis (i.e. viewing profiles and posting my own profile) but nothing could overcome my being a childfree person. Simply stating that I have no children, don't want any children, or seeing in the woman's profile that she either is single/divorced/widowed with children eliminated nearly all of the profiles I saw (or eliminated me from further consideration by them). I never spent a dime on any of those dating services.


However, as I got older (into my 40s), if a woman had adult child(ren) who lived on their own and did not rely on their moms for everyday life, then these women became possibilities again. I met my ladyfriend 10 years ago and I met her adult daughter (who is divorced with 3 kids of her own) for the first time last year. She (her daughter) lives 700 miles away.

I have met PLENTY of super single women on both Eharmony, Tinder and OK Cupid.

 

[scrabbler1]

I have met PLENTY of super single women on both Eharmony, Tinder and OK Cupid.

Single, childfree women? There were many single women on the dating websites I checked out, but nearly all of them wanted to have children, a dealbreaker for me. The women either already had children or wanted to have children.

 

[jIMOh]

Single, childfree women? There were many single women on the dating websites I checked out, but nearly all of them wanted to have children, a dealbreaker for me. The women either already had children or wanted to have children.

Yes, I'd say 1 in 5 women I connect with are super single. age 30-50, no kids and never married.

 

[scrabbler1]

Yes, I'd say 1 in 5 women I connect with are super single. age 30-50, no kids and never married.

Again, childfree women? Plenty of women (single, divorced, widowed, none of which are dealbreakers) with no kids in the websites I visited years ago. But nearly all of them wanted to have kids (those under 40 or 45), and that eliminated at least 95% of the women. Maybe it is geographic, or childfree women are creeping into these websites more now than they were 10+ years ago. But in the women's profiles, the best I could do was if the woman chose "maybe" or "doesn't matter" or "not important" or something indecisive like that when it came to children. I never saw a profile in which the woman flat out stated, "I don't want children."

 

[Amethyst]

Then the logical next step would be to select for somewhat older women who are no longer able to have children, and whose existing children would be older and approaching independence. Women spend the entire second half of their lives in an infertile state, so there are many to choose from.

Amethyst

Single, childfree women? There were many single women on the dating websites I checked out, but nearly all of them wanted to have children, a dealbreaker for me. The women either already had children or wanted to have children.

 

[omni550]

And then there's the flip side -- men who eventually decide they want children who end up in relationships with women who don't have (or want) children.

From personal experience, I had two long-term relationships (13 and 8 years respectively) with two great guys end, as they eventually decided they wanted kids and I never did.

(Both went on to marry others and have 2 kids each.)

omni

 

[aja8888]

Again, childfree women? Plenty of women (single, divorced, widowed, none of which are dealbreakers) with no kids in the websites I visited years ago. But nearly all of them wanted to have kids (those under 40 or 45), and that eliminated at least 95% of the women. Maybe it is geographic, or childfree women are creeping into these websites more now than they were 10+ years ago. But in the women's profiles, the best I could do was if the woman chose "maybe" or "doesn't matter" or "not important" or something indecisive like that when it came to children. I never saw a profile in which the woman flat out stated, "I don't want children."

Believe it or not, the vast majority of women who want children have that desire because it is built into their genetic makeup.

 

[2B]

I a guy I work with (for 9 more in- office days ) that is on multiple dating sites. He makes great money with no kids. He is currently "in relationships" with four different women although the number may have changed through these sites. Most have children. Once they figure out how much he makes and they envision the possibilities they join his harem although they aren't aware of the others.

 

[Totoro]

Believe it or not, the vast majority of women who want children have that desire because it is built into their genetic makeup.

I am still looking for that girl whose ancestors didn't have children

What I can't figure out (evolutionary speaking) is the high amount of men who don't want children. Guess the genetic consequences of not caring for kids are not as bad if you are a dude?

 

[scrabbler1]

Believe it or not, the vast majority of women who want children have that desire because it is built into their genetic makeup.

We humans have free will, unlike animals who simply reproduce. We don't have to reproduce if we don't want to. To me there is a lot of peer pressure to reproduce but there is nothing genetic about that and it surely can be fought successfully. There is no such thing as a "childfree" gene.