Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Comparing dating sites
Old 02-08-2015, 11:47 AM   #1
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
jIMOh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Milford, OH
Posts: 2,085
Comparing dating sites

I am 42 yo and divorced.

I use a combination of Eharmony, Tinder, It's just lunch and OK Cupid...

curious what others experience with dating sites is?
__________________

__________________
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. One person's stupidity is another person's job security.
jIMOh is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 02-08-2015, 12:49 PM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,637
1. I have NO personal experience with dating sites, but a friend and co-worker in her early 40's got a steady stream of Losers from Match.com. I think her problem was that she didn't specify they had to have steady jobs making at least as much as she did . She finally married an excellent match (for her) whom she met the old-fashioned way, at work.

2. Another cow-orker met, married, and has since had a baby with a lady he met via Match.com. Last I checked they'd been married for 6 years, and going strong. It's not that he had more "going on" than Example No.1; he was just better at specifying his "requirements."

Amethyst
__________________

__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 01:31 PM   #3
Recycles dryer sheets
truenorth418's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 475
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
1. I have NO personal experience with dating sites, but a friend and co-worker in her early 40's got a steady stream of Losers from Match.com. I think her problem was that she didn't specify they had to have steady jobs making at least as much as she did .

I have no job and have low income. I guess according to your friend's standards I'm a loser.

And yet I am a muti-millionaire with financial assets in the top 1% of the US. Oh well, her loss!

My advice to the OP is to find an online venue with the best chance of being able to tell your unique story. My guess is if you're on this forum you don't fit the typical boxes.


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum
__________________
truenorth418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 01:34 PM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,756
My understanding is that since OK Cupid is free but only pay for advanced features, that could draw the scammers. Tinder is based mostly on appearance (some say that is shallow) and eharmony is more limiting (could be a good thing) in that instead of updating your profile and getting search results quickly, there's more screening involved.

I have a nephew who found his girlfriend on eharmony (well, I think she found him) and they see very happy together.
__________________
Have you ever seen a headstone with these words
"If only I had spent more time at work" ... from "Busy Man" sung by Billy Ray Cyrus
easysurfer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 02:25 PM   #5
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,637
I think you're a little off base, unless you are joking. Frankly, I don't think most people think about pairing up with a multimillionaire who can spend as much as he/she wants. My friend said she could have specified "income" but chose not to. For most of us, including me, "income" means "from a job." Because she didn't specify jobs/income, she kept being paired with nice fellows who ended up living in her very nice house and not paying rent. Whereas, she is now living the high life, herself, having found a very nice, very well-paid contractor husband who loves her kids and she loves his.

Most of us think that multimillionaires, who can spend as much as they want, are a rare and special breed who wouldn't consider pairing up with a regular wage slave like my co-workers and (before retirement) myself.

A.

Quote:
Originally Posted by truenorth418 View Post
I have no job and have low income. I guess according to your friend's standards I'm a loser.

And yet I am a muti-millionaire with financial assets in the top 1% of the US. Oh well, her loss!
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 02:36 PM   #6
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
travelover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 9,743
My data is 10 years old, but I met DW on Match.com. I found it to be very efficient in that one can sort for key parameters that would likely mean a compatible mate.

You will find that photos tend to be old, actual weights tend to be higher and "self employed" often means unemployed. That said, it beats the heck out of going to bars or hoping to meet someone through someone else.
__________________
Yes, I have achieved work / life balance.
travelover is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 02:47 PM   #7
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
HFWR's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 12,913
Been on match and plenty of fish(y people). Decided to just buy random women dinner..


Sent from my iCouch using Early Retirement Forum
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire

...not doing anything of true substance...
HFWR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 02:52 PM   #8
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Colorado Mountains
Posts: 2,052
I've thought about trying this route, but with a name like "Hermit" I don't think I would get many responses!
__________________
Hermit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 02:55 PM   #9
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
MooreBonds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 2,086
I prefer eharmony. Have used it for a while. They use a variety of factors to send you matches that are going to be, on average, more compatible with you, than you simply picking 10 search variables and searching randomly.


There can be quite a bit to using psychology and other factors (like one's primary and secondary "love language") to see if people are compatible. Also, since eHarmony is relatively more expensive than Match, people are (again, relatively) more serious about finding someone to spend the rest of their life with.

Obviously, nothing is fool-proof, and I have met a handful of truly crazy people on eHarmony. But will stay with them because, overall, my matches have been pretty good.

I also have a profile on a website centered around higher income/net worth people. As expected, most people on there are shallow, and just looking for someone with some bucks to spend on them and just be pretty arm candy. In addition to most of them not being cut from the same Live Below Your Means cloth as I am. There are a few rare hard-working people, but they're few and far between.
__________________
Dryer sheets Schmyer sheets
MooreBonds is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 02:56 PM   #10
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 41,539
My wife doesn't like me to use any of them...
__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 03:07 PM   #11
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
steelyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Triangle
Posts: 3,218
Quote:
Originally Posted by HFWR View Post
Decided to just buy random women dinner..


Sent from my iCouch using Early Retirement Forum

Do you just walk over in a restaurant when you see the waiter bring their check? "May I pick that up?".
__________________

steelyman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 03:11 PM   #12
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
travelover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 9,743
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
My wife doesn't like me to use any of them...
Yea, it is kind of embarrassing to meet up with your spouse there.
__________________
Yes, I have achieved work / life balance.
travelover is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 03:15 PM   #13
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 16,200
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
My wife doesn't like me to use any of them...
Not being suicidal, I didn't even ask.
__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 03:17 PM   #14
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
David1961's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,070
Several years ago, I completed the free assessment questionnaire on Eharmony. Afterward, instead of sending me my "free matches", they said that based on how I answered the questions, they would not be able to match me up with anyone and politely thanked me for taking the time to answer their questions and wished me luck. I recall the email said that this happens to about 10% of the people.
Guess I'm just a unique person.
__________________
David1961 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 03:20 PM   #15
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 16,200
Quote:
Originally Posted by David1961 View Post
Guess I'm just a unique person.
That, or something else....
__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 03:30 PM   #16
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Nemo2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Belleville, ONT
Posts: 4,172
Some time after my late wife died I met my (current) wife on LavaLife in Canada (no idea if it's still operational).....prior to meeting her I encountered a few nice women......certainly worked for me.
__________________
"Exit, pursued by a bear."

The Winter's Tale, William Shakespeare
Nemo2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 03:39 PM   #17
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,637
I hope you really meant to say "buy dinner for random women," because your syntax is, shall we say, ambiguous

(and yes, being inclined to say things like "your syntax is ambiguous" made it rather hard for me to get dates, back in the day! No matter how good I looked in a short dress).

Quote:
Originally Posted by HFWR View Post
Been on match and plenty of fish(y people). Decided to just buy random women dinner..


Sent from my iCouch using Early Retirement Forum
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success to be able to spend your life in your own way. Christopher Morley.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 03:48 PM   #18
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,905
I tried Plenty of Fish a few years ago. In spite of filtering as best I could, it felt like all of the guys I met were nice, but just so random. I kept saying it would be akin to stopping the next 50 cars on the highway and trying to date the drivers.

omni
__________________
omni550 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 03:55 PM   #19
Recycles dryer sheets
truenorth418's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 475
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst View Post
I think you're a little off base, unless you are joking. Frankly, I don't think most people think about pairing up with a multimillionaire who can spend as much as he/she wants. My friend said she could have specified "income" but chose not to. For most of us, including me, "income" means "from a job."

A.

Yes, I was joking. Sorry, I should have used an emoticon .

In my experience with online dating, mostly several years ago on match.com, I found a lot of "sizing up" going on. Some of it's driven by the upfront screening and questionnaires. The questions are standard demographic questions, revolving around income and occupation, and don't easily lend themselves to an early retirement type person. Our lifestyle requires a little more explaining.

I suppose if I were to try it again I would use eHarmony. From what I know of it the people who use it tend to dig a little deeper, maybe because it is known for people looking for serious relationships. I know several people who went on eHarmony to find a spouse (and were successful, including my brother).


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum
__________________
truenorth418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2015, 04:03 PM   #20
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Mulligan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 7,267
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
My wife doesn't like me to use any of them...

My GF would not appreciate it either... About 10 years ago I met a couple nice ladies on eharmony... But they both had 1 or 2 year old "baggage" with them. I broke up with my previous GF because I didn't want to start a second family so I certainly wasn't going to go that route.
I was fortunate enough to work in the education business and it was 75% women. And these women all knew other women, and lots of them. So that was the playground area I chose to play in. It also led me to my current long time GF, and hopefully my last one....


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
__________________

__________________
Mulligan is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
WSJ article Couples Dating Sarah in SC Other topics 46 11-14-2009 07:28 AM
Internet dating advice wanted/needed Zoocat Other topics 303 07-01-2008 08:04 PM
Protecting Nephew from Russian Dating Scam TromboneAl Other topics 18 11-17-2007 09:22 AM
Dating in your 50's and beyond - questions Fireup2020 Other topics 58 08-13-2007 08:46 AM
FI and dating Scrooge Life after FIRE 68 08-15-2006 09:15 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:45 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.