Couples' Boundaries

[bbbamI]

participate in my grooming rituals

 

[Notmuchlonger]

participate in my grooming rituals

Monkey see monkey do

 

[Nords]

If I had no personal privacy during all those years in the submarine force, then there's no need for personal privacy from my spouse...

 

[FinanceDude]

If I had no personal privacy during all those years in the submarine force, then there's no need for personal privacy from my spouse...

 

[Alan]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but the answer is no . If you are open about certain things you usually stay that way .

ditto - we have always been completely open on these things from day 1

 

[Alan]

If I had no personal privacy during all those years in the submarine force, then there's no need for personal privacy from my spouse...

I remember being grossed out once as a young lad taking a tour on a WW II destroyer and I had my Dad and one of my Uncles with me. When we went into "the head" I remarked how I'd have problems sitting on the toilet, shoulder to shoulder with others, and my uncle (who served in the Pacific during WW II) said that it was worst the morning after shore leave when everyone was getting rid of the previous nights excesses

 

[Nords]

... it was worst the morning after shore leave when everyone was getting rid of the previous nights excesses

Nah, what's even worse than that is when they don't even make it out from their beds in the first place. One of the reasons I always selected the top rack.

And then there's the fateful moment that happens to every submariner when they momentarily forget that the sanitary tank is still under pressure...

 

[Alan]

Noords, that is so funny (why do I find toilet humor so appealing?)

 

[Zoocat]

I seriously think that if "none of the above" were the norm then many marriages would last longer. Obviously, I'm fairly old fashioned. Privacy in marriage is (was) important to me. And I think that even separate bedrooms might be helpful as well. (But maybe these attitudes are why I'm divorced? )

Anyway, a romantic relationship that includes two households with the option of occasional living together is probably my ideal these days.

 

[mews]

I had enough 'sharing' in a communal girl's dorm bathroom in college, thank you.

Saturday and Sunday mornings were ugly - reminders of various boys & girls worshipping the great white god... or missing ... bleh.

I was craigslist shopping around for North Carolina condos, and saw one 2 bedroom unit with 2 master suites, and the apartment in the middle. I like that idea!

ta,
mews

 

[Moemg]

I seriously think that if "none of the above" were the norm then many marriages would last longer. Obviously, I'm fairly old fashioned. Privacy in marriage is (was) important to me. And I think that even separate bedrooms might be helpful as well. (But maybe these attitudes are why I'm divorced? )

Anyway, a romantic relationship that includes two households with the option of occasional living together is probably my ideal these days.

While I like that idea I think it eliminates a certain intimacy that comes from day to day living . If someone has seen you at your worse and still loves you that's golden .

 

[mews]

While I like that idea I think it eliminates a certain intimacy that comes from day to day living . If someone has seen you at your worse and still loves you that's golden .

Well, yes.

But do we have to do that all the time?

Have mercy!

ta,
mews

 

[haha]

While I like that idea I think it eliminates a certain intimacy that comes from day to day living . If someone has seen you at your worse and still loves you that's golden .

I have to agree with Moemg here. Few things can satisfy like the regular, intimate, touching, seeing, and sharing of a happy couple living together harmoniously.

The only part I don't like is the disruption that follows a breakup.

Ha

 

[mews]

I have to agree with Moemg here. Few things can satisfy like the regular, intimate, touching, seeing, and sharing of a happy couple living together harmoniously.


Ha

true. I just don't put flossing, toenail clipping and various other things on the needed 'sharing of a happy couple' list.

ta,
mews

 

[citrine]

Don't forget....popping each other's body acne.....eeewwww....a friend of mine does that to her husband all the time and he returns the favor!
Some things should be kept all to yourself and maybe the household pet

 

[haha]

Don't forget....popping each other's body acne.....eeewwww....a friend of mine does that to her husband all the time and he returns the favor!
Some things should be kept all to yourself and maybe the household pet

Hey nothing satisfies like a sebaceous cyst when you are too tired for sex.
Ha

 

[FIREd]

We are rather restrained and private around other people but my wife and I have surprisingly very few boundaries with each other. We are very open about everything, no taboos.

 

[TromboneAl]

I've been trying to resist making this joke. I give up:

I let my partner watch me use the toilet.

Only if she asks nicely.

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Some of the above posts almost make it sound like there is a board meeting every time a new body function comes up for viewing rights.

In our humble household, it's more like things just happen without a whole lot of explicit discussion, at least until a boundary is inadvertently crossed. And even then, it's more like, "Don't you ever knock?" "Sorry, but I didn't know you were in there -- don't you ever lock the door?" End of discussion, points made.

 

[REWahoo]

Good grief. Why on earth would I want to be present when my spouse uses the toilet? Most of the time I'm not to wild about being there when I use it...

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Good grief. Why on earth would I want to be present when my spouse uses the toilet? Most of the time I'm not to wild about being there when I use it...

And speaking of RVs...

... who gets to clean out the "sanitary system" in yours? That would be me in our case. Now that's true boundary setting. By the DW.

 

[bbbamI]

Good grief. Why on earth would I want to be present when my spouse uses the toilet? Most of the time I'm not to wild about being there when I use it...

Try one of these...

 

[REWahoo]

And speaking of RVs...

... who gets to clean out the "sanitary system" in yours? That would be me in our case. Now that's true boundary setting. By the DW.

Rich, if your avatar is an indicator of the process you use, I think your DW is a very wise woman.

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Rich, if your avatar is an indicator of the process you use, I think your DW is a very wise woman.

You mean you don't have a macerator?

 

[REWahoo]

You mean you don't have a macerator?

I did, but he quit. Something about never being able to retire and needing to spend more time with his patients...