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Couples who eat differently
Old 09-02-2017, 08:05 AM   #1
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Couples who eat differently

How many couples prepare substantially different meals from each other, at least sometimes, due to allergies or taste issues?

Some things don't seem so hard, for example, veggie burgers can be grilled as an alternate to meat so they can be prepared together. But if one is allergic to shellfish, and the other wants to occasionally eat crab or shrimp, what do you do? Or if one likes an ethnic food that the other really just doesn't ever want to eat? Or one just isn't very adventurous with new foods while the other loves to try different things?

Do you just take care of your differences when you eat out? Sometimes that can be difficult too, as some ethnic restaurants may not have decent other choices, especially for a picky eater.

Or do you sometimes just prepare two different meals at home?

I know most couples probably aren't that far off in tastes and will eat the same meals most times, but I'm talking about when the differences are just too much.
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Old 09-02-2017, 08:18 AM   #2
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My DW and I often eat different meals except for breakfast (one of my chores is daily breakfast preparation). She is originally from Seoul, and prefers a lot of Korean dishes - mostly vegetables. While I do enjoy many Korean dishes, a few each week is plenty. DW would same same about US cuisine. While we do "share" lunch and dinner a few times a week, most days we just go with our different preferences. We're both very comfortable with this approach to our meals.
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Old 09-02-2017, 09:13 AM   #3
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My wife is originally from Ukraine. We usually eat different meals. It's actually rare that we will eat the same meal together at home. It does make things a little tougher I think.
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Old 09-02-2017, 09:25 AM   #4
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Actually this might be pretty common especially with ER couples. I think it's a big bonus to eat what you want, when you want. After years of rigid meal schedules involving kids and work..it's great to have that freedom..

We usually always have supper..(last meal of the day) together and its a grilling, salad, fresh veggie type meal.
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Old 09-02-2017, 09:51 AM   #5
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My wife is from Thailand and has been in the US for only a couple of years, she doesn't eat bread, only rice or noodles. I'm Chinese so I can eat rice for every meal but some of the stuff she cooks is just way too spicy for me to handle. Most of her cooking I can handle but sometimes she will cook rice with a really spicy curry or something and I'll have to cook an egg or hotdog or something less spicy to eat with rice. When we go out to eat it is always Vietnamese or Chinese food, sometimes Thai, never a burger, pizza or Taco Bell, I do miss that good all American food sometimes
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Old 09-02-2017, 09:57 AM   #6
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When we go out to eat it is always Vietnamese or Chinese food, sometimes Thai, never a burger, pizza or Taco Bell, I do miss that good all American food sometimes
We have Vietnamese friends, Houston residents for 42 years; seems to me that they, like us, eat pretty much anything. À Chacun Son Goût , I guess.
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Old 09-02-2017, 09:58 AM   #7
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We also share one meal daily together. DH is a meat and potatoes guy and I have always been more of a grazer throughout the day. Somehow it works for us!
We both will experiment, so restaurant meals can be adventurous. Generally cook at home, and now have the time to prepare more interesting recipes.
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Old 09-02-2017, 10:04 AM   #8
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We sometimes do seperate meals when we barbeque (which is just about about every day during the summer months). Sometimes DW wants a certain fish that I do not especially enjoy. So we simply put a seperate meal for each of us on the grill. That is the extent of it.
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Old 09-02-2017, 10:08 AM   #9
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We sometimes do seperate meals when we barbeque (which is just about about every day during the summer months). Sometimes DW wants a certain fish that I do not especially enjoy. So we simply put a seperate meal for each of us on the grill. That is the extent of it.


Remember, everything in moderation is ok, BBQing daily is not the healthiest, read up about carcinogens a little, daily bbq is too much for me
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Old 09-02-2017, 10:45 AM   #10
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Natural gas barbeque.
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Old 09-02-2017, 10:49 AM   #11
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My wife is from Thailand and has been in the US for only a couple of years, she doesn't eat bread, only rice or noodles. ... When we go out to eat it is always Vietnamese or Chinese food, sometimes Thai, never a burger, pizza or Taco Bell, I do miss that good all American food sometimes...
This is something I've never quite understood. I'm a born-and-bred American guy from the deep South, yet I rarely eat traditionally Southern U.S. food. My preference is almost always for cuisines such as Italian, Indian, Mexican, Thai, etc. Of course I understand the concept of comfort food, but I've never understood why people from certain regions (particularly Southern / Southeastern Asia, in my experience) have such a strong preference for the foods of their native cultures, to the point where they eat it every single day.

I noticed this very frequently when working in an office environment. Being in the IT world, I worked with many Indians and East Asians over the years, and it was virtually a given that, come lunchtime, you would see these folks in the break room heating up containers of their obviously Indian or Chinese or Vietnamese foods they brought from home. Every time I saw (and smelled) this, I remember thinking to myself how strange it seemed and how differently I would behave if the roles were reversed. Sure, two or three lunches per week I could see, given the comfort and familiarity aspect. But every single day? Never could comprehend that seemingly dogmatic attachment to a specific type of food.
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Old 09-02-2017, 11:03 AM   #12
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We have spent three of the past four winters in S/E Asia plus extended visits to Costa Rica in between.

Our eating habits at home have changed drastically. And for the better. Less meat. Lots more fresh fruit, vegatables etc. Far less breads, cakes etc. We have both lost weight, med stats are good, and we feel much better for it.
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Old 09-02-2017, 11:18 AM   #13
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This is something I've never quite understood. I'm a born-and-bred American guy from the deep South, yet I rarely eat traditionally Southern U.S. food. My preference is almost always for cuisines such as Italian, Indian, Mexican, Thai, etc. Of course I understand the concept of comfort food, but I've never understood why people from certain regions (particularly Southern / Southeastern Asia, in my experience) have such a strong preference for the foods of their native cultures, to the point where they eat it every single day.

I noticed this very frequently when working in an office environment. Being in the IT world, I worked with many Indians and East Asians over the years, and it was virtually a given that, come lunchtime, you would see these folks in the break room heating up containers of their obviously Indian or Chinese or Vietnamese foods they brought from home. Every time I saw (and smelled) this, I remember thinking to myself how strange it seemed and how differently I would behave if the roles were reversed. Sure, two or three lunches per week I could see, given the comfort and familiarity aspect. But every single day? Never could comprehend that seemingly dogmatic attachment to a specific type of food.

I've known folks who eat the same meal every day. One of my cow*rkers would go to lunch and order the exact same burger every day for years that we ate together.

Food brings out some bizzare behavior in people. You know the folks who can't eat food that touches? Some eat all of one item before touching anything else on their plate. Or everything must touch.
I enjoy watching folks eat and observing their behavior.

DW and I basically eat the same foods and we both are rotational, not serial eaters. Our food may touch, but it's not a requirement.

Now when it comes to red meet, I eat mind rare, and she's a medium person.

We mostly eat the same foods, other than sashimi.
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Couples who eat differently
Old 09-02-2017, 11:24 AM   #14
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Couples who eat differently

My wife and I eat similarly, though I am far more health conscious and do most of the cooking. She will try just about anything.

Her father is easily the pickiest eater I expect I will ever encounter, to the point of inconvenience to others. He eats very few vegetables, I think just carrots. He eats little fruit. His daily diet is generally some kind of white bread lunchmeat sandwich, potato chips and coke. He doesn't like tomato sauce, so pizza and pasta are out, which his wife loves. No fish at all. No sauces except melted butter. Only plain scrambled eggs. White bread only.

This isn't a case of doesn't prefer or doesn't like to eat... it is will not eat, period. Burger? Plain. No cheese. No ketchup or mustard. The patty must be just beef, no onion or anything. I can't describe how ridiculous it is, but I've seen him send food back because they put a pickle on his plate. He claims his taste buds are more developed than other people's, and apparently he's been like this since he was the middle child of nine.

I guess it's an attention thing. I have no idea how his wife does it. She cooks for him and sucks it up, but gets her pizza once a week and he fends for himself those nights. Otherwise, when they go out, she goes to great pain to ensure there is something - usually a plain burger or steak with baked potato - on the menu.
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Old 09-02-2017, 11:33 AM   #15
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I know a guy that will only eat little Cesar's pizza, KFC or a McDonald's dollar double cheesburger plain, only the meat cheese and bun, he will freak out if they add something, he rarely wavers off that menu. Even for thanksgiving he eats KFC

his 8 year old son is the same but he only eats little Cesar's pizza, nuggets from McDonald's and drumstick ice cream
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Old 09-02-2017, 11:43 AM   #16
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My wife is from Thailand and has been in the US for only a couple of years, she doesn't eat bread, only rice or noodles. I'm Chinese so I can eat rice for every meal but some of the stuff she cooks is just way too spicy for me to handle. Most of her cooking I can handle but sometimes she will cook rice with a really spicy curry or something and I'll have to cook an egg or hotdog or something less spicy to eat with rice. When we go out to eat it is always Vietnamese or Chinese food, sometimes Thai, never a burger, pizza or Taco Bell, I do miss that good all American food sometimes
Your diets are probably far healthier than a typical "American" diet.
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Old 09-02-2017, 11:48 AM   #17
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Your diets are probably far healthier than a typical "American" diet.


For sure it is but I do miss the occasional pizza and burger. I like cheese and she doesn't eat it, about the only American food she will eat is a steak or fried chicken, preferably with rice, she's doesn't get too excited about potatoes
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Old 09-02-2017, 01:25 PM   #18
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My wife and I eat similarly, though I am far more health conscious and do most of the cooking. She will try just about anything.

Her father is easily the pickiest eater I expect I will ever encounter, to the point of inconvenience to others. He eats very few vegetables, I think just carrots. He eats little fruit. His daily diet is generally some kind of white bread lunchmeat sandwich, potato chips and coke. He doesn't like tomato sauce, so pizza and pasta are out, which his wife loves. No fish at all. No sauces except melted butter. Only plain scrambled eggs. White bread only.

This isn't a case of doesn't prefer or doesn't like to eat... it is will not eat, period. Burger? Plain. No cheese. No ketchup or mustard. The patty must be just beef, no onion or anything. I can't describe how ridiculous it is, but I've seen him send food back because they put a pickle on his plate. He claims his taste buds are more developed than other people's, and apparently he's been like this since he was the middle child of nine.

I guess it's an attention thing. I have no idea how his wife does it. She cooks for him and sucks it up, but gets her pizza once a week and he fends for himself those nights. Otherwise, when they go out, she goes to great pain to ensure there is something - usually a plain burger or steak with baked potato - on the menu.
I'm not nearly as "bad" as your FIL but I'm picky enough that friends kind of have to accommodate me at times. At most restaurants I can find something on the menu that I can tolerate, as long as they'll hold the onions and peppers as I request. But most of the time I can scrape it off and not send it back.

An attention thing? Maybe, maybe not. For me, I hate drawing any attention to my pickiness. I try to get rid of a plate quickly if I left some side dish untouched, before anyone else notices. Life would be a lot easier if I could eat anything. But it's not that I'm just unwilling to try anything else, some things really make me nauseous. I had an Indian officemate once who would microwave his meals in the break room and bring it back to his desk, and I had to leave until he was done and the office had time to air back out because I felt like I was going to hurl. I also hate the smell of chili. I just can't see even trying food that I find that revolting. So yeah, I'm going to veto going to an Indian restaurant. Maybe that's your FIL's problem as well, though rejecting a plate because of a pickle seems awfully extreme. I'll bet his smell or taste buds really are a lot more sensitive than most.

Admittedly I'm reluctant to try other new things that probably are fine, but I have learned to like some greens like broccoli and asparagus to where I'll have it regularly on my own.
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Old 09-02-2017, 01:29 PM   #19
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I appreciate all of the responses of people who do things like this for whatever reasons, and make it work without issue.
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Old 09-02-2017, 01:32 PM   #20
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How many couples prepare substantially different meals from each other, at least sometimes, due to allergies or taste issues?

Some things don't seem so hard, for example, veggie burgers can be grilled as an alternate to meat so they can be prepared together. But if one is allergic to shellfish, and the other wants to occasionally eat crab or shrimp, what do you do? Or if one likes an ethnic food that the other really just doesn't ever want to eat? Or one just isn't very adventurous with new foods while the other loves to try different things?

Do you just take care of your differences when you eat out? Sometimes that can be difficult too, as some ethnic restaurants may not have decent other choices, especially for a picky eater.

Or do you sometimes just prepare two different meals at home?

I know most couples probably aren't that far off in tastes and will eat the same meals most times, but I'm talking about when the differences are just too much.
They only difference is that I eat off of a platter size plate , she eats from a salad size plate.
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