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Craigslist Response from woman to Wall Streeter:
Old 10-22-2007, 03:40 PM   #1
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Craigslist Response from woman to Wall Streeter:

Funny!!

To the gentleman who called me a depreciating asset

Date: 2007-10-11, 8:23AM EDT


Dear Sir,

I must confess that I was somewhat taken aback upon reading your email. Indeed, it has taken some time for me to sufficiently recuperate from my surprise. Lest your confidence quickly inflate for little reason (as we know is the predisposition for Wall St. types), allow me to hasten to reassure you that the source of my surprise was neither your candor nor the accuracy of your perception. Indeed, it is your "claimed" success in light of your poor grasp of economics which has me baffled. If the standards required to meet with financial success on Wall St. have sunk so low, perhaps I should indeed "make my own money", except for the fact that the effort/reward ratio is far too high for my liking - especially when so many of your ilk have displayed a far more cogent grasp of market realities than you have.

By now you are likely scratching your ever-vanishing hairline in confusion, so allow me to elaborate, dear man. To build some credibility I will tell you a bit more about yourself. Though you did not mention the details of your occupation, it is clear that you are an investment banker and not a trader, as any good trader would understand that human courtships are based upon a semi-efficient open market, and not an investment banking cartel. However, your inability to grasp the realities of the dating market is not surprising, given that you have successfully employed the tools of collusion and market manipulation rather that true acumen in your supposed wealth generation.

If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego, you would realize that the "outflows" associated with my depreciating "assets" are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s, advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation. Thus, with some additional capital expenditure, the overall lifetime of "outflows" generated by these assets is greatly increased. Sad that Ashton Kutcher has demonstrated understanding of the female asset class which you, in all of your financial "wisdom", have not.

You, on the other hand, are, given the uncertainty of the Wall St. job market, more of an inflation-indexed junk bond with an underwater nested call option. Though you may argue that you are more of an equity investment, my monetary minimums required from you do not change, and if you are unable to pay them, I will liquidate you without the benefit of a chapter 11, just as you would me.

Because your outflows are so much more uncertain with respect to mine, I require additional compensation in the form of a underwater nested call option on your future assets. I say underwater because, even taking into account the value of your junk bond coupon payment to me, the value of my "outflow" is in excess of the market price of your equity (which is quite low due to its riskiness associated with your poor grasp of finance and my existing claim upon your junk bond coupon).

I must thank you though for raising the question, despite the reputation cost of subjecting your weak logic to such widespread scrutiny. This took either considerable courage or ignorance on your part- and we'll give you the benefit of doubt, just this once. My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency.

Just a clueless ditz whose boyfriend wrote the retort to get some "crazy nookie".............
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Old 10-22-2007, 04:02 PM   #2
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Wow! So poorly written it could have only been a trader.

Not only does it not make sense, it isn't even funny.
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Old 10-22-2007, 04:09 PM   #3
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Wow! So poorly written it could have only been a trader.

Not only does it not make sense, it isn't even funny.
Yeah, most traders have a sense of humor. Funny how she tried to look smart, and looks even dumber than before.......
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Old 10-22-2007, 04:11 PM   #4
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What makes you think it was the same person? This is the internet. It could have been a dog.
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Old 10-22-2007, 04:12 PM   #5
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Yeah, most traders have a sense of humor. Funny how she tried to look smart, and looks even dumber than before.......
Oh, I don't know, I love it when hot chicks talk financial geek like that...
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Old 10-22-2007, 04:14 PM   #6
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Oh, I don't know, I love it when hot chicks talk financial geek like that...
How do we know she was hot on the Internet??

Funny, I never found a hot chick to discuss "triangular currency arbitrage" with me............
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Old 10-22-2007, 04:25 PM   #7
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How do we know she was hot on the Internet??
Geeeze! WE know she was hot on the internet BECAUSE SHE SAID she was hot on the internet. She may be a plumber named Floyd from joisey, but on the internet she's hot. and she.
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Old 10-22-2007, 05:04 PM   #8
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... but on the internet she's hot. and she.
Isn't fantasy wonderful?

Ha
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Old 10-22-2007, 05:54 PM   #9
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i just read the first few sentences and it does not seem to me to be in the same sentence structure (voice or fingerprint) as what i recall from the original post. also the original was not an email, as stated in this post, but a post on a bulletin board.
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Old 10-22-2007, 06:06 PM   #10
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i just read the first few sentences and it does not seem to me to be in the same sentence structure (voice or fingerprint) as what i recall from the original post. also the original was not an email, as stated in this post, but a post on a bulletin board.
Yeah, doesn't sound like the original poster (Madam Floyd). To be fair, it claims to be written by her current boyfriend to get some "crazy nookie". He's a trader from Central Park West (read trash collector Ernie from Queens).
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Old 10-22-2007, 06:13 PM   #11
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Yeah, doesn't sound like the original poster (Madam Floyd). To be fair, it claims to be written by her current boyfriend to get some "crazy nookie". He's a trader from Central Park West (read trash collector Ernie from Queens).
oh, sorry, didn't get that far. it is written in first person. had i known traders to be such creative writers i might have considered the field. publishing sure didn't pay what they make.
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Old 10-22-2007, 06:47 PM   #12
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I think the Wall St. guys initial response was pretty funny. This comeback is just lame.

FYI checking out on Snopes, it seems like at least the initial post by the gold digger is real.
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Old 10-23-2007, 12:33 PM   #13
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Very poorly written. The economical arguments are sound, but they don't make for an interesting, and funny read. Her retort blows.
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Old 10-23-2007, 01:19 PM   #14
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Very poorly written. The economical arguments are sound, but they don't make for an interesting, and funny read. Her retort blows.
I heard better retorts than that in my college corporate finance course. Of course, our Wharton educated professor tended to slap us around a plenty..........
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Old 10-23-2007, 02:28 PM   #15
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Funny, I never found a hot chick to discuss "triangular currency arbitrage" with me............
I'm not a hot chick, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night... Err, nm, that doesn't work as well as it does in the commercials!
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Old 10-23-2007, 03:05 PM   #16
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I heard better retorts than that in my college corporate finance course. Of course, our Wharton educated professor tended to slap us around a plenty..........
Of course - the economics are there, but they don't even flow (let's just forget about trying to be funny at this point); it's convoluted.

Quote:
I'm not a hot chick, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night... Err, nm, that doesn't work as well as it does in the commercials!
LOL
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Old 10-23-2007, 04:38 PM   #17
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That reply made no sense at all...

Btw, if she already has a boyfriend, then why did she make the original post on how to land a rich husband anyway??
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Old 10-23-2007, 06:14 PM   #18
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That reply made no sense at all...

Btw, if she already has a boyfriend, then why did she make the original post on how to land a rich husband anyway??
Maybe her current beau is a little short.........on funds.
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Old 10-24-2007, 12:36 AM   #19
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That reply made no sense at all...

Btw, if she already has a boyfriend, then why did she make the original post on how to land a rich husband anyway??
I think she found the new alleged boyfriend after posting her original whine about not enough good men sugar daddy suckers
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Old 10-24-2007, 09:46 AM   #20
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Maybe her current beau is a little short.........on funds.
Or is "short" in other areas............
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