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Creative ways of dealing with crazy neighbors
Old 05-18-2011, 01:25 PM   #1
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Creative ways of dealing with crazy neighbors

I've got a neighbor who drives me nuts. My designated parking spot is directly in front of her living room window, so she sees me come and go on a daily basis. Except on very rare occasions, she has to greet me whenever I set foot outside my apartment or arrive home by car. Then she has to tell me all about her latest complaint about the neighbors, or her health or gossip about people I neither know nor care about.

She must think I'm some kind of food addict because several times a week I'll run past her with the excuse that I have ice cream or frozen food in my bag and I have to get it to the freezer before it melts.

If I don't go to work by a certain time each day, she calls me to find out if I'm sick. I wouldn't dare tell her what I'm doing because then everyone in the complex would know.

I can't use a different entrance because they involve dozens of stairs (bad knees) and, anyhow, she can see my car so she knows I'm coming in.


When I retire in a few months, I don't know how I'll face the full brunt of her on a daily basis and I can only buy so much ice cream.

Does any one else deal with crazy neighbors?
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Old 05-18-2011, 01:33 PM   #2
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Oh, if only Cute Fuzzy Bunny were still around. But T-Al can tell you about his 'grower neighbors' which were equally entertaining.

I would be driven crazy by someone like that, too! What about pretending to be on the phone every time you come and go? Or wearing earphones and say you are in the middle of a language study program so you can't be disturbed? That way you could shout out random irregular Spanish verbs and suddenly be the crazier neighbor SHE avoids.
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Old 05-18-2011, 01:37 PM   #3
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Outcomplain her; interrupt her to one-up her stories; make up outlandish fabrications to spread around the complex; spend hours talking about the most mundane, inane things you can think of (maybe develop a passion for documentaries on things like string collecting... don't need to watch 'em, just pretend they exist and talk about 'em); have her over for lunch but somehow ensure gastronomical distress.
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Old 05-18-2011, 01:43 PM   #4
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This isn't a problem neighbor, it is an answer to "what will I do all day?" when retired.

The opportunity for entertainment is limited only by your imagination.

Buy a few cheap Halloween masks and don one on the way too/from your car. If the neighbor dares ask you what's up, just stare at her without saying a word and continue walking.

Get a large blow up doll (your choice of sex), hug it closely by your side and carry on a conversation with your vinyl friend as you walk.

Plug in your iPod earphones (iPod optional) and sing the Major-General's song from "The Pirates of Penzance" at the top of your lungs.

Repeat as needed...
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Old 05-18-2011, 01:46 PM   #5
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Tell her "I can't stop to talk. The voices command me to go home and clean my guns".
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Old 05-18-2011, 01:47 PM   #6
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OR.....


You can be brutally honest and say "I am not interested in idle chatter all day and ask that you do not bother me"...


This will make you her talking point for a long time, but who cares...
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Old 05-18-2011, 02:53 PM   #7
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Sounds like a horror show. All I can suggest is what I'd do - just ignore her and walk into your place like she is not there. When she calls hang up. Sooner or later the point will be made, if you feed a hungry cat it will never leave. Good luck!
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:25 PM   #8
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People like your neighbor are needy for attention and social outlets. For my own mental attitude, I try to keep some things I am grateful for in mind, remind them of that early in the conversation, and move on when the gossip/complaining starts. My mother was one of these souls. It reminds me to keep a balance in my own life as I approach retirement.
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:27 PM   #9
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Tell your neighbor about the benefits of Amway and see how long they want to keep talking to you.

Either that or invite them down to the Taliban meeting.
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:34 PM   #10
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OR.....

You can be brutally honest and say "I am not interested in idle chatter all day and ask that you do not bother me"...

This will make you her talking point for a long time, but who cares...
DING DING DING we have a winner.

When Mr B and I go to the Legion every Friday night, there is a woman who does this to EVERYBODY. The mindless drivel that comes out of her mouth is astounding.
One night she actually had the nerve to reach over and rub Mr B's stomach and proclaim that he looked like Buddha. He is partly bald.
He was shocked. I was p*ssed. I told her, as calmly as I could, that was the rudest thing I ever heard someone say and that she owed him an apology. I stared directly at her, eye to eye.
She made a face, walked away and hasn't bothered us since.

Sometimes you just have to be brutally direct with people like this.
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:41 PM   #11
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While the playing games might be entertaining and confronting her may seems harsh, but confronting her is the only way to go. Besides, what if she is only encouraged by your outlandish stories or games?
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:51 PM   #12
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While the playing games might be entertaining and confronting her may seems harsh, but confronting her is the only way to go. Besides, what if she is only encouraged by your outlandish stories or games?

I've tried telling her I can't talk to her, or just ignoring her. It doesn't seem to work. She's in her late 70s, she's lonely and she sits in the lobby all day long talking to people.

I like the Amway thing though.... that might work.

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Old 05-18-2011, 04:01 PM   #13
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The opportunity for entertainment is limited only by your imagination.
Repeat as needed...
Sounds like you're getting ready for a reunion!

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I've tried telling her I can't talk to her, or just ignoring her. It doesn't seem to work. She's in her late 70s, she's lonely and she sits in the lobby all day long talking to people.
She sounds horribly lonely. She also sounds like one of the first people to notice if your place or your car are being disturbed. Just about every detective novel I've ever read has a character like that.

Maybe it's worth passing the time for 3-4 minutes to put a little aloha in her day... but the next step would be a firm "Thanks, I have to get the rest of my chores done" and you're on your way.
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Old 05-18-2011, 04:04 PM   #14
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Get a large blow up doll (your choice of sex)...
Well, not my first choice, but it'll do in a pinch...
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Old 05-18-2011, 04:04 PM   #15
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i got nuthin' I just had to say I love your sig line
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Old 05-18-2011, 04:24 PM   #16
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"Sorry, can't talk - I have to go blast a dookie!"
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Old 05-18-2011, 04:42 PM   #17
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I bought a cordless phone a year or so ago which has the very useful capability of returning a busy signal always to calls from your personal no call list (if you have caller id). I realize the phone calls are just a minor part of your problem with your neighbor, but it's something, anyway.
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Old 05-18-2011, 05:10 PM   #18
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What about pretending to be on the phone every time you come and go? Or wearing earphones and say you are in the middle of a language study program so you can't be disturbed? That way you could shout out random irregular Spanish verbs and suddenly be the crazier neighbor SHE avoids.
I like this one!! The language study program idea is brilliant.
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Old 05-18-2011, 05:45 PM   #19
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What about pretending to be on the phone every time you come and go?
That sounds really good. Talk loudly.

How to Get Annoying People to Stop Talking to You | eHow.com
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Old 05-18-2011, 05:52 PM   #20
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She sounds lonely and harmless. Therefore, be kind. Wave and say hello then as graciously as possible be on your way. Someday you might be glad you took this approach rather than something more drastic.
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