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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-07-2006, 07:32 PM   #21
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

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Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa
I put it in the same category as "no one on their death bed ever looked back and wished they'd spent more time at thei office." In this case, it's "no one on their death bed ever looked back and wished they had given less to their loved ones."
That's an interesting point of view. Since our money is held in joint tenancy, and both of us were breadwinners at one time, we don't really "give" each other expensive things and stuff. Neither of us is really into birthdays, anniversaries, or those kind of rituals.

But we sometimes spend a ton on big toys for both of us to enjoy! That's really fun!

Audrey
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-07-2006, 08:17 PM   #22
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

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Originally Posted by audreyh1
That's an interesting point of view. Since our money is held in joint tenancy, and both of us were breadwinners at one time, we don't really "give" each other expensive things and stuff. Neither of us is really into birthdays, anniversaries, or those kind of rituals.
Hmm. I see where you are coming from.

So, how do you handle those times when the urge hits one of you to just outright give something meaningful but expensive to the other? Say, for example, you are just feeling appreciative for the emotional and spiritual presence of the other and wish to express it in some symbolic manner in addition to whispering sweet words?

I am sure that every successful and durable couple has this figured out, but just curious about what your "currency" is in this regard (after all, not all gestures are meant to be exactly mutual).
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-07-2006, 10:40 PM   #23
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

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Originally Posted by audreyh1
That's an interesting point of view.* Since our money is held in joint tenancy, and both of us were breadwinners at one time, we don't really "give" each other expensive things and stuff.* Neither of us is really into birthdays, anniversaries, or those kind of rituals.*

But we sometimes spend a ton on big toys for both of us to enjoy!* That's really fun!

Audrey
That's pretty consistent with us. DW and I were both electrical engineers and both of us contributed significantly to our savings. We do celebrate birthdays and our anniversary. We just celebrate by making a special shopping trip and getting all the ingredients for a great meal at home (which we prepare together). Or we plan a trip and bring a special bottle of wine. We do occasionally buy an expensive toy together. Often it is unique camping gear or new GPS software, etc.

But if diamond jewelery made my DW happy, I would gladly spend our money on it for her. If giving her a diamond necklace communicated to her how much she means to me, I would not hesitate to research and buy her diamonds.
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-07-2006, 10:57 PM   #24
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa
Hmm. I see where you are coming from.

So, how do you handle those times when the urge hits one of you to just outright give something meaningful but expensive to the other? Say, for example, you are just feeling appreciative for the emotional and spiritual presence of the other and wish to express it in some symbolic manner in addition to whispering sweet words?

I am sure that every successful and durable couple has this figured out, but just curious about what your "currency" is in this regard (after all, not all gestures are meant to be exactly mutual).
My DW loves to gain new experience and travel. She also loves new electronic toys and widgets. I am always looking for a new destination to explore with her. She likes to do her own research of new places, but I will often suggest we plan a trip to somewhere new and then provide her with the framework research of how to get there, where to stay, etc. She is very happy when we are planning a trip together.

I do shop for physical gifts for her for birthdays and anniversaries, but she is much more excited about a $15 high-tech, white LED flashlite for reading in the tent than she would be with a diamond necklace. She has told me explicitly not to spend our money on jewelery. We've been together for over 30 years. She's not difficult to shop for.
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-07-2006, 11:24 PM   #25
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

Neither DH nor I feel warm & fuzzy about getting or giving gifts--it just doesn't do it for us. He gave me a diamond pendant once--it's very pretty and I wear it occasionally, but it doesn't make me feel loved or special or anything (perhaps I'm not good at symbolism!). When we buy a new car together and drive off in it, that's fun. When we're heading off on a trip together, that's fun. But those aren't exactly gifts.

We buy occasional expensive things after discussing it, and depending on whose expertise it falls under, one of does the research. For travel--almost always my idea--I do everything except pay the bills (his job!) and purchase online tix (I find it irritating). When I feel lovey-dovey, I give him a kiss, or initiate sex, or suggest an outing I know he'd like, announce a dinner party and invite his friends, suggest he have an evening with the guys or see a guy movie, that sort of thing. We are turned on by acts of service and physical intimacy rather than gifts--but that's us, not everyone feels loved by the same things.
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-08-2006, 07:37 AM   #26
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

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Neither DH nor I feel warm & fuzzy about getting or giving gifts--it just doesn't do it for us. ...We are turned on by acts of service and physical intimacy rather than gifts--but that's us, not everyone feels loved by the same things.
Neat thoughts. Sounds like you found the right formula.
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-08-2006, 08:43 AM   #27
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

When I was 20 I surprised my 17-year old sister by buying her the tiniest diamond earrings for her birthday. We walked into a diamond store and she picked out the smallest diamonds they had to offer. It costed me about 200 dollars and to me that was a fortune. But to watch my even-then-very-pragmatic sister, who I love very much, jump up and down in that busy shopping mall and then bear-hug me made me feel positively giddy myself. That was 9 years ago and she still treasures those diamonds, although she can easily afford much nicer ones on her own today.

Rich, I think you're going to knock the socks off your wife this Saturday.
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-08-2006, 06:27 PM   #28
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa
So, how do you handle those times when the urge hits one of you to just outright give something meaningful but expensive to the other? Say, for example, you are just feeling appreciative for the emotional and spiritual presence of the other and wish to express it in some symbolic manner in addition to whispering sweet words?
Well - first of all we are both rather literal people, so symbolism does not play a large part in our lives.

Expressing appreciation seems to happen more in spending time together and doing fun things together or doing something nice for each other. I often plan special days for the two of us - doing things we enjoy. I guess I've become the vacation/daytrip planner of the family and I try to arrange things so he has opportunities to do some of the things he really enjoys. John fixes things for me or takes care of things for me. He has a strong caregiver streak so he uses that to express his appreciation. We are also very verbal in our expressions of appreciation and gratitude for each other.

I guess either of us might say - "Why don't you get yourself that big toy X you've been thinking about?". I guess giving each other tacit permission to spend money on ourselves is what we do instead of giving each other expensive gifts.

Audrey
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-08-2006, 07:02 PM   #29
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by audreyh1
Well - first of all we are both rather literal people, so symbolism does not play a large part in our lives.

Expressing appreciation seems to happen more in spending time together and doing fun things together or doing something nice for each other. I often plan special days for the two of us - doing things we enjoy. I guess I've become the vacation/daytrip planner of the family and I try to arrange things so he has opportunities to do some of the things he really enjoys. John fixes things for me or takes care of things for me. He has a strong caregiver streak so he uses that to express his appreciation. We are also very verbal in our expressions of appreciation and gratitude for each other.
Similar to Astro's comments. Now that you mention it, I guess we do pretty much the same thing. Which explains in part why I am so naive about this diamond thing -- we just don't exchange valuable objects very much, but have periodically supported each others' slightly guilty purchases.

Wonder if this is a FIRE thing, that is the lack of strong attraction to baubles.
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-08-2006, 07:25 PM   #30
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

Here's an interesting and applicable article:

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/20...men-tech_x.htm
Study: Women like tech toys more than shoes

By Edward C. Baig, USA TODAY

"NEW YORK Is a plasma TV a girl's new best friend?
An Oxygen Network survey released Tuesday found that more than three out of four women said they'd choose the TV over a diamond solitaire necklace. Women preferred a top-of-the-line cellphone to designer shoes by a similar margin. And a little white iPod narrowly trumped a little black dress.
. . ."
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-08-2006, 07:52 PM   #31
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

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Originally Posted by sgeeeee
Here's an interesting and applicable article:

Now you tell me!
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-08-2006, 08:28 PM   #32
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

Rich, You know your wife. She'll be thrilled with the diamond (otherwise you wouldn't make this gesture). Don't let us rain on your parade.

Audrey
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-08-2006, 09:42 PM   #33
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

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Now you tell me!
Three out of four women may prefer a plasma TV to a diamond, but I'm sure your wife is the fourth.
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-08-2006, 10:23 PM   #34
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

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Originally Posted by sgeeeee
Here's an interesting and applicable article:

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/20...men-tech_x.htm
Study: Women like tech toys more than shoes
This is the end of history.
Ha
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-08-2006, 11:42 PM   #35
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

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This is the end of history.
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend
Old 08-09-2006, 10:54 AM   #36
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Re: Diamonds are a jeweler's best friend

With Marshac's Nikes, they can have both...
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