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Disney Death
Old 02-21-2010, 08:08 PM   #1
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Disney Death

Sorry for the "heavy posting". I lost my dad last week. It was unexpected but he was in his late 80's. Once he was considered critical, it seems like there was many resources available to choreograph a "right sized" grieving and good bye sequence. He wasnt going to regain conciousness, and he wasn't in pain - but the terminal point seemed under control of interventions or maintenance drugs/iv's with perhaps +/- a day or two. For my mom and sis it seemed best to allow it to unfold at their pace but my brother and I seemed to be sharing the same view of events unfolding. Dad didn't suffer and mom and sis were eventually ready to say goodbye. I'm unsure why i need to write this - it was just a bit sureeal of an experience.

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Old 02-21-2010, 08:17 PM   #2
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I am so sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and your family.

"You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore." - - - C. Columbus
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Old 02-21-2010, 08:22 PM   #3
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I'm sorry to hear you lost your dad. Having lost many people close to me, I understand about how surreal it can be. It's as if we are expected to be actors in a made for TV movie. We're not though.

I think I understand your reference to Disney. Death can be so unreal and like something you're viewing from a distance or in a movie theater.

When my dad died, I was numb. It took a lot of time for it to sink in and when it did it was very hard to deal with.

Take care of yourself. Often we forget to do this when going through a death in the family.
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Old 02-21-2010, 08:28 PM   #4
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Sorry for your loss.

Did I miss something to understand your "Disney Death" title? Or did Purron get it right?

He had a long life and it sounds like he died about the way many of us would choose.
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As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
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Old 02-21-2010, 08:48 PM   #5
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Rich - you are right. no regrets on full life, active, head clear, not fearing a near term end, driving, walking, interacting just a week ago. Did his first skype web cam call last Sunday.

So yes Purron had it close - just dealing with the loss, but also pondering how the doctors were able to orchestrate a known ending and what that means to those who can interpret the options being offered while others who grasp at the options as hope dwindles.
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Old 02-21-2010, 08:58 PM   #6
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So sorry about your father--it's hard to lose our parents no matter when.
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Old 02-21-2010, 09:00 PM   #7
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So sorry for your loss ! It is surreal and may remain that way for some time .
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Old 02-21-2010, 09:30 PM   #8
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I too am sorry for your loss.

A few days after my father-in-law died in 2008, I wrote of his passing on this forum. For me it was partly a tribute to him and I needed compassion from my friends.

May you find peace.
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Old 02-21-2010, 11:18 PM   #9
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nphx, so sorry to hear about your dad. We lost my FIL unexpectedly a year ago; the first couple of months were the hardest. May your road smooth out beneath your feet.
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Old 02-22-2010, 12:08 PM   #10
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I am sorry for your loss also. It is very hard to lose your parents. My mother died unexpectly and I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach when I received the phone call. It does sound like he had a very full and active life.
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Old 02-22-2010, 12:24 PM   #11
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nphx, so sorry to hear about you losing your father. Went through the same experience with my mother two years ago (this week...) Understand the "Disney death" reference- watching her die under hospice care, the expectations and reactions of close friends and family members was almost surreal, even thought we all knew how the ride was going to end....just didn't know when.
Take your time grieving, there is no set time frame. And thanks for feeling like you could share this with us- many here have been through this and can offer compassion and support. Gloomy, rainy day in Phoenix today doesn't help, I know.

All the Best,

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