DNA Testing and New Sibling?

[Teacher Terry]

Anyone else take a DNA test from ancestry or 23 and me and find out you have a half sibling? I am 63 and totally shocked. When my Dad went off to WW II he was casually dating my Mom and she dated others while he was away. They married when he got home. While in England he conceived a child. We have no clue if he ever knew about the child. I have a half sister. She contacted me as she is doing the family tree. She said her Mom mentioned it once and said she was in love with my Dad. She seems very nice. I sent her photos and the family history that I have.

 

[RetireBy90]

We did 23 and me for my wife last year, but no mention of any family. I recently did ancestry but haven't received the results yet. It will be interesting to see what they find as I expect ancestry has more information available, but then I only started seeing the ancestry ads this year, so I don't expect they have as many DNA results to compare against. I also hope to spend some time later this year on-line with ancestry searching out the tree and hope this jump starts the search.

 

[GravitySucks]

Not a sister, but found out a whole quarter of a nationality i didn't know I had anything to do with.
More interesting - a great aunt that ran away and joined the circus! I still think of taking off with the carnies when they leave the State Fair. ��

 

[Teacher Terry]

With 23 and me you have to opt in for relative matches but with ancestry they just do it. I read that it has destroyed a few marriages and families along the way. My parents are dead but actually I don't think my Mom would have cared.

 

[googily]

I had both my father and I do the Ancestry test, but I had his results come to me. No surprises (and I didn't expect any), but I didn't want him at 85 to get a shock like that without a whole lot of preparation.

If you watch Long Lost Family on TLC, you see mostly happy versions of this type of thing. But no doubt they aren't all happy.

 

[Brat]

I have A - blood type. When I had my first child in the early 70s the protocol was to check the child's blood type and my blood to determine if I needed a RhoGAM injection. I told my OBGYN that they need not worry because my husband (the baby's father) also had RH Negative blood. His response was that OBGYNs know the baby's mother, but not the father. Like every other mother the test was run.

Without a doubt surprises abound with genetic testing.

 

[W2R]

Anyone else take a DNA test from ancestry or 23 and me and find out you have a half sibling? I am 63 and totally shocked. When my Dad went off to WW II he was casually dating my Mom and she dated others while he was away. They married when he got home. While in England he conceived a child. We have no clue if he ever knew about the child. I have a half sister. She contacted me as she is doing the family tree. She said her Mom mentioned it once and said she was in love with my Dad. She seems very nice. I sent her photos and the family history that I have.

I would be so upset if I found that out. No rational reason, except that it would not fit in with what I have thought all these years. TeacherTerry, you seem to be taking this in stride and handling it a lot better than I would.

I have not done 23 and me or ancestry dot com although I might some day. Or not; haven't decided. My father already did a lot of geneology research on our family and our ancestral background in Scotland. I am turning 70 in 3 weeks, and so I guess that if I have some genetic defect it's a little late to be worrying about it.

 

[aja8888]

I have not done 23 and me or ancestry dot com although I might some day. Or not; haven't decided. My father already did a lot of geneology research on our family and our ancestral background in Scotland. I am turning 70 in 3 weeks, and so I guess that if I have some genetic defect it's a little late to be worrying about it.

I was single until 33 years old and somewhat of a "fun loving, adventurous lad" during that time. I'm not doing ANY genetic research at this age.

 

[Teacher Terry]

W2R: I am not upset at all but excited to have a half sister. My sister is uninterested and not sure about my brother yet. My Dad was not married and may have had no idea he had a child. He was such a family man and great dad that I think if he knew he had a child he would have married the woman. Remember it was war time and England was being bombed like crazy. They could have died so I guess they had some fun)

 

[tb001]

I did 23andme and had a cousin who had been put up for adoption contact me. My dad had 9 brothers and sisters, but many of them or their kids have also done 23andme. I was able to narrow one of her parents down to one set of siblings. It was a huge secret in the family and the parent wasn’t open to contact. I found the whole thing interesting but also sad. I just can’t imagine putting a child up for adoption and 25+ years later wanting zero contact.

 

[Souschef]

Anyone else take a DNA test from ancestry or 23 and me and find out you have a half sibling? I am 63 and totally shocked. When my Dad went off to WW II he was casually dating my Mom and she dated others while he was away. They married when he got home. While in England he conceived a child. We have no clue if he ever knew about the child. I have a half sister. She contacted me as she is doing the family tree. She said her Mom mentioned it once and said she was in love with my Dad. She seems very nice. I sent her photos and the family history that I have.

There was movie called "Reunion at Fairborough with Robert Mitchum where he found out he had a daughter by an English woman.
Stranger yet, my late wife's cousin found out she had a full sister she did not know about. Remember, in the 40's out of wedlock was a no no. Her parents had a daughter before they were married that they put up for adoption.

 

[Bestwifeever]

My friend's cousin had three half-siblings (from two different moms ) identified through one of these outfits. He was thrilled and they are all part of the family now. Plus he's a car dealer and sold one of them a car at the "family discount." His parents are long gone but his mother would have been mortified.

The Golden State Killer was caught when the polce ran decades-old DNA though one of the companies and matched his relatives:
https://www.vox.com/2018/4/27/17290288/golden-state-killer-joseph-james-deangelo-dna-profile-match

 

[Teacher Terry]

A scientist bought DNA kits for the whole family as a xmas gift. It caused his parents divorce after 50 years and no one speaks to the dad but the scientist. The dad had a child with someone else. I just did it to confirm what I thought I knew about our ancestor background. I had no clue it could match people. SC: sure back in the day it was a big secret. Also some people might not want to be connected if the baby was a result of rape or incest. It would be too painful.

 

[REWahoo]

The Golden State Killer was caught when the polce ran decades-old DNA though one of the companies and matched his relatives...

Yep. DNA testing can lead to some life-changing outcomes.

 

[audreyh1]

There was movie called "Reunion at Fairborough with Robert Mitchum where he found out he had a daughter by an English woman.
Stranger yet, my late wife's cousin found out she had a full sister she did not know about. Remember, in the 40's out of wedlock was a no no. Her parents had a daughter before they were married that they put up for adoption.

that does rather blow ones mind!

Sad!

 

[Jerry1]

Knowing my dad, I’d be surprised if there wasn’t a half sibling or two out there somewhere. Personally, I don’t want to know this and would have no desire to engage in a new found family situation. However, if someone reached out to me, I’m sure I’d handle it well. Just wouldn’t be the start of some new relationship.

 

[Marita40]

I did Ancestry DNA and found a number of 2nd and 3rd cousins. It greatly expanded our very small family, so I'm grateful for that.

A few interesting things in the genetic makeup. I thought we might be part Jewish, but this was ruled out. Also, I am 1/4 English; this was completely unknown. Otherwise, the results were predictable.

 

[NYEXPAT]

No way,No how, got enough on the payroll as it is! When I lived in NYC, I had to duck behind a mailbox more times than I care to remember when walking past a park and hearing a kid yell "Daddy"!

 

[aja8888]

Knowing my dad, I’d be surprised if there wasn’t a half sibling or two out there somewhere. Personally, I don’t want to know this and would have no desire to engage in a new found family situation. However, if someone reached out to me, I’m sure I’d handle it well. Just wouldn’t be the start of some new relationship.

Come to think of it, my Dad was in the Navy during WWII and was at a few foreign ports. No telling what we would find out with the DNA stuff. I must have inherited some of his wild side, but I am cured now.

 

[ABQ2015]

I did 23andme and had a cousin who had been put up for adoption contact me. My dad had 9 brothers and sisters, but many of them or their kids have also done 23andme. I was able to narrow one of her parents down to one set of siblings. It was a huge secret in the family and the parent wasn’t open to contact. I found the whole thing interesting but also sad. I just can’t imagine putting a child up for adoption and 25+ years later wanting zero contact.

This has happened twice to a friend of mine where she has been able to help first cousins once removed find their birth parents - first cousins on her father's side now in their late 60's. My friend's father came from a large family and they lived in a conservative area of the midwest. In one case, the birth mother was angry and not open to contact although her siblings welcomed the adult child. The birth mother's siblings were not aware of her pregnancy because she had been away at college and they were younger at the time. My friend thinks her aunt, the grandmother, was aware and kept it hush hush - she is no longer living. The other case was a birth father who did not know that he had fathered a child but he was pleased about it and open to meeting his adult child.

 

[target2019]

Anyone else take a DNA test from ancestry or 23 and me and find out you have a half sibling? I am 63 and totally shocked. When my Dad went off to WW II he was casually dating my Mom and she dated others while he was away. They married when he got home. While in England he conceived a child. We have no clue if he ever knew about the child. I have a half sister. She contacted me as she is doing the family tree. She said her Mom mentioned it once and said she was in love with my Dad. She seems very nice. I sent her photos and the family history that I have.

Did not find half sibling, but going back 4-5 generations, I get the feeling there were unknown encounters in most families. Nothing definite, but it has added a different perspective to the tree.

 

[athena53]

W2R: I am not upset at all but excited to have a half sister. My sister is uninterested and not sure about my brother yet.

I'd be excited, too- especially if, as in your case, it didn't involve previously unknown marital infidelity. Even if it did- it's not the fault of the half-sibling.

I haven't done the DNA testing for the very reason that I'm reluctant to have the info in a database I can't control. (No, I am NOT a closet mass-murderer.) Even when you can specify that you don't want extended family members to contact you, the data can be used for other purposes.

 

[cathy63]

We had kind of the opposite situation in my family when it was discovered that one of a group of siblings is actually a half-sib, and it's been an upsetting revelation to some of them. (Sibs are in their 80's, so parents' and anyone else who might have known this is long gone.)

 

[RobbieB]

You may not want to know.

My brother in law (to be) found out that his dad was not his father.

 

[calmloki]

My Mom was shocked to learn I was her son.

No, wait, that doesn't seem right..

23&me hasn't turned up anyone closer than a couple second cousins - maximum 3.9% shared DNA. in correspondence I think the closest person and I determined the connection, but frankly I don't really care. Barely relate to some first cousins. Was hoping for something shocking but am just a normal Ned white bread boring kinda guy.