Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 12-22-2013, 04:10 PM   #41
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
frayne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 19th Hole
Posts: 2,535
TMI !
__________________

__________________
A totally unblemished life is only for saints.
frayne is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 12-22-2013, 10:00 PM   #42
Full time employment: Posting here.
Al in Ohio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Columbus OH
Posts: 688
Quote:
Originally Posted by daylatedollarshort View Post

I guess all the links from my post and other current research studies on housework divisions written up in major newspapers and academic journals are all just based on old wives tales? Really? The research studies were all fabricated?

That is a rather interesting perspective.
Three links from the World Wide Web? There's lots more out there that would contradict that. Instead of three old articles you dug up lets try one published just today:

http://www.dispatch.com/content/stor...y-reveals.html

Or this interesting fact regarding how your type of career matters more than whether your male or female:


http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/422...more-housework

Here's another couple you'll find interesting

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...idier-sex.html

http://blogs.momaha.com/2011/12/8232/
__________________

__________________
Ohio INTJ ENG ER Hopeful
Al in Ohio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2013, 11:27 PM   #43
Moderator Emeritus
aja8888's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: The Woodlands, TX
Posts: 7,168
About 10 years ago, I had two young Indian (from India) mechanical engineers, freshly out of college, working for me (recently assigned). Both were single at the time. Within 6 months on the job, both had new wives sent to them from proud parents in India. I wonder how those gigs work for the long run?
__________________
aja8888 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2013, 12:44 PM   #44
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 942
Quote:
Originally Posted by aja8888 View Post
About 10 years ago, I had two young Indian (from India) mechanical engineers, freshly out of college, working for me (recently assigned). Both were single at the time. Within 6 months on the job, both had new wives sent to them from proud parents in India. I wonder how those gigs work for the long run?
I heard a lecture once from a PHD who studied this subject and wrote a book about it. He said it was the commonality between two people. The more they held the same beliefs and came from similar backgrounds, the more apt they were to have a successful marriage. He listed the similarities up on a blackboard, numbered 1 to 10. I can't remember the order of them now (according to importance) but it seemed like common sense. I remember a funny analogy he made about it was much better in terms of sustaining a marriage if two druggies married each other, as opposed to one taking drugs and the other one didn't.

Arranged marriages are supposed to be picked by family according to similarity of families and religious beliefs. That part is good, but it is never a guarantee of kindness and character. Unless the family knows the other family well.
__________________
modhatter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2013, 01:39 PM   #45
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,386
I know a native born US Anglo woman who married an Indian Engineer out of college. They lasted 15 years, and had a successful child. But within 6 months of their divorce, the Indian man's parents in India found him an Indian bride, and he married her. They now have two children themselves. My friend has become very friendly with the new wife, and she (my friend, or old wife) says the new couple appears to be far happier than the mixed marriage ever was. Although that could perhaps be laid at other causes- like my friend might be hard to take long term.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2013, 02:06 PM   #46
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thormole View Post
I've always thought Einstein had a good point with this quote:

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
I agree 500 million % on that.....
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2013, 02:12 PM   #47
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
On an aside, I would not marry again if DW and I split. So I guess I am not like most men. Long marriages (or marriages at all) no longer seem to be a big deal. 3 of my friends have their kids living in SO "arrangements", 2 of them have 1 or more kids together, no talk of marriage or engagement, just "living life"...........

If the young people of today place so little value on marriage, maybe its not that big of a deal anymore??
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2013, 02:14 PM   #48
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 5,327
Quote:
Originally Posted by Al in Ohio View Post
Three links from the World Wide Web? There's lots more out there that would contradict that. Instead of three old articles you dug up lets try one published just today:

Today

Or this interesting fact regarding how your type of career matters more than whether your male or female:


Men that work around women do more housework | UK | News | Daily Express

Here's another couple you'll find interesting

Are men REALLY doing more housework than women? According to a new survey, men really ARE the tidier sex | Mail Online

More dads embracing role as primary childcare provider | Momaha Blogs
All but one of those links do not address the topic of husband versus wife housework hours when both husbands and wives work, and the one that does looked more like a PR stunt from some obscure job board looking for publicity than actual peer reviewed research studies.

You can have the last post. I am done posting on the subject. The actual research from credible sources, such as the comment listed below based on research from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, is all online for those interested in reading more about the topic.

"In June of this year, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that the "second shift" is still a problem. Only 20 percent of men reported helping out with housework (such as cleaning and doing laundry), while 48 percent of women said the same. And while 39 percent of men said that they helped out with food preparation and cleanup, 65 percent of women said that they regularly prepared meals. In Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg points to this second shift as a serious blockade to women's progress, encouraging women to stop being "maternal gatekeepers" and encourage their partners to take on greater responsibilities at home."

From -

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_3606537.html
__________________
daylatedollarshort is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2013, 04:07 PM   #49
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Chuckanut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: West of the Mississippi
Posts: 6,337
Quote:
Originally Posted by ziggy29 View Post
It can happen if you don't let jealousy get in the way, particularly when the divorces were amicable and by mutual agreement.
+1

If the problems were strictly between the two people in the marriage, then time can often heal the wounds. But, if infidelity is involved, it's a entirely different ball game.
__________________
The worst decisions are usually made in times of anger and impatience.
Chuckanut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2013, 06:28 PM   #50
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 942
Quote:
Originally Posted by daylatedollarshort View Post
All but one of those links do not address the topic of husband versus wife housework hours when both husbands and wives work, and the one that does looked more like a PR stunt from some obscure job board looking for publicity than actual peer reviewed research studies.

You can have the last post. I am done posting on the subject. The actual research from credible sources, such as the comment listed below based on research from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, is all online for those interested in reading more about the topic.

"In June of this year, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that the "second shift" is still a problem. Only 20 percent of men reported helping out with housework (such as cleaning and doing laundry), while 48 percent of women said the same. And while 39 percent of men said that they helped out with food preparation and cleanup, 65 percent of women said that they regularly prepared meals. In Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg points to this second shift as a serious blockade to women's progress, encouraging women to stop being "maternal gatekeepers" and encourage their partners to take on greater responsibilities at home."

From -

4 Women's Issues That Haven't Changed Since 1911
I certainly agree that is the way it used to be, and was with me, but I'm older. I was under the impression that things were starting to even out, or at least hopeful of it.

This was a big problem when I was married, especially as I was the main bread winner. One day I finally said "enough" and went on strike. I refused to clean or even wash another dish. After using every dish in the house, and the kitchen beginning to smell a little dodgy, and we had no more clean clothes to wear. My husband finally comes to me and says. "OK, fine, you take that side of the house and I'll take the other side."

About 20 minutes passed, when my husband comes marching into the bathroom where i was cleaning, and throws the dish towel down on the floor, and says to me. "This is for the birds. Get a maid." So, I did. Within a week we had a live in maid.
__________________
modhatter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2013, 10:34 PM   #51
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
harley's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Following the nice weather
Posts: 6,439
I always assumed that women initiated divorce more than men because women were married to men, whereas men were married to women. I'll be curious to see how the statistics work out over the next couple of decades with same sex marriages. Will women divorce women more than men will divorce men? Or vice-versa?
__________________
"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." - Will Rogers, or maybe Sam Clemens
DW and I - FIREd at 50 (7/06), living off assets
harley is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2013, 10:42 PM   #52
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,386
Quote:
Originally Posted by harley View Post
I always assumed that women initiated divorce more than men because women were married to men, whereas men were married to women. I'll be curious to see how the statistics work out over the next couple of decades with same sex marriages. Will women divorce women more than men will divorce men? Or vice-versa?
Harley- do you have a low opinion of men?

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2013, 11:51 PM   #53
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Helen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,354
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude View Post
If the young people of today place so little value on marriage, maybe its not that big of a deal anymore??
It depends. For me, being in a same sex relationship, it was a financial nightmare not to have a legally recognized marriage. We had to be careful when moving money between accounts due to the gift tax laws, we couldn't go on a family health plan, we could not put each other as survivors for pensions and social security and we could have been hit with an inheritance tax if one partner died before the other. There are also big limitations on immigration laws for unmarried couples.

So, maybe morally the stigma has lessened, but there are huge financial limitations.
__________________

__________________
Helen is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:32 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.