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Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-28-2006, 03:20 PM   #1
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Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

As you get older do you spend time with your parents/siblings/kids?

My family is really tight. Tonight about 10 of us are getting together at a centrally located restaurant for dinner. There will be me, twin-sis and her partner, another sister, my son and his wife, nephew-in-law and his three kids, and maybe a widowed brother-in-law. (we're coming from all directions but none more than 45 minutes away) Is this unusual in your world? One family member (the multi-millionaire) will insist on paying since she "has more money than she knows what to do with". If I'm lucky I can get a round of drinks or pay towards the tip.

Most of my friends don't seem to get along with their siblings and I find that somewhat sad. I have sisters who put in pools or bought boats/jetskis so the family would come visit more often.

Are we really all that different? Do you or your siblings make an effort to see each other fairly often or at least once in a while?

I think it helps that we're all young retirees thus we have the time.

Just curious.
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-28-2006, 03:57 PM   #2
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kz
Do you or your siblings make an effort to see each other fairly often or at least once in a while?
DW has a brother and SIL who live 1,200 miles away, and we see them every other year or so. Obviously they arenít all that close. (Example: When my MIL passed away, they attended the funeral but their only child, age 19 at the time, didnít make it.)

I have two surviving siblings, both retired and located near each other but a 7 hour dirive away from us. Although distance wonít allow us to get together like you do very frequently, we do see each other three or four times a year. My widowed sister drives down with my brother and SIL for a visit each spring and fall, and we make a trip or two each year to see them. Unfortunately, my SIL (age 73) is having some health problems resulting in them cancelling their spring visit. So, weíre off to visit them late next week.

Weíve done this for several years and my retirement hasnít changed anything for us, at least not yet. We may see them more once DW decides to put down the whip and chair give up the day-care role she took on for our three grandsons. That should free us up to travel more (assuming she survives the experience).
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-28-2006, 04:01 PM   #3
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

DW and I are invited to my cousin's place in the Pocono Mts. (Pennsylvania) for the week next week. My sister and BIL fron N.J. will also be there. Should be a very relaxing and fun time as we get along very well. We see my sister at my nephew's house in Pa. a couple of times a year (Thanksgiving and a few other ocassions). My son is in N.C. and my daughter is currently in Calif. with the touring company of "Oklahoma" so we don't get to see them as often as we would like. In June we are taking my son with us to visit my daughter in Utah where she will be working for the summer. The four of us haven't all been together since Thanksgiving of '04.

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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-28-2006, 04:14 PM   #4
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

as i get older? i'm 49 and i've yet to run away from home.

on my maternal grandfather's side i was very close to my gr8uncle but not to his daughter who moved to teach on an indian reservation when i was very young. my uncle was a truly great guy and visited here even to say goodbye two weeks before he died. the extended family on my maternal grandmother's side is still very close. grandma was one of 12 children. mom was family secretary and kept the family together for many years.

i recently found minutes of the first family meeting hosted at mom's home in 1956, all according to robert's rules down to committee selection and the family constitution. eventually upwards of 60-70 cousins would meet to party twice a year for about 20 years. the year after mom left the northeast, there was one more party and then that was it but for the usual funerals, weddings and barmitzva's. a number of my cousins have sinced moved to our area over the years and we see each other regularly.

on my father's side i have absolutely no idea who any of my *cousins are, including some who were raised in coral gables, not far from me. i only even met my paternal grandfather twice in my life. my paternal grandmother was a flapper who married into a then-famous entertainment family.

as to immediate family, my brother and i never liked each other for most of our lives. even then though my motto was "i wouldn't give him the time of day, but i'd give him a kidney." since mom's deterioration, we have become good friends. his wife and kids are very supportive and loving.

turns out mom's biggest sadness in life was me and my brother not getting along. one day she was so happy that we were finally friends. i said to her "you couldn't have found some more creative way than alzheimer's to make that happen?"
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-28-2006, 04:19 PM   #5
 
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

We get along great for about 16 hours. * I'm too different from them, and find it wearing to hear, for example, *that they feel they may have been on different planets.
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-28-2006, 04:25 PM   #6
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

I am very close to my family. Our parents are long gone, so it is me, two sisters and a brother.

My California sister, her husband and step daughter I see once or twice a year but I talk to this sister every week. She is very gregarious/extroverted. Their home is filed with interesting people speaking blends of English and Spanish. Americans, Persians, Bolivians. Black, white, asian. Jew, Christian, Muslim. . . ER and R is never a topic. I never know how many people are living there. As fun and interesting as it is, this introvert is always glad to go home.

My brother lives a couple of miles away in a special housing facility for those with disabilities. I see him a fair amount; need to make sure he is doing ok.

My other sister lives a few miles away and I see her, her daughter and granddaughter quite a bit. Since I began working part time, I have been the designated person to travel back and forth to Minnespolis where my sister's granddaughter resides in the Children's hospital.


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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-28-2006, 04:44 PM   #7
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kz
As you get older do you spend time with your parents/siblings/kids?
I have sisters who put in pools or bought boats/jetskis so the family would come visit more often.
I did basically the same thing. I love windurfing and water skiing and use those capabilities as a lure. I have a big, close Chicago Irish family, but we are spread all over the country. One brother (71 yrs old, 7 kids, still working and enjoying it) lives in the DC area. He and SIL comes to the weekend place regularly. DW brother and SIL also come.

My 31 year old son and his girl friend bought a house 5 blocks away. They come regularly for dinner - of course, I really don't know whether they like us or just see the meals as part of their ER plan.
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-28-2006, 07:14 PM   #8
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

Interesting thread.

I am the oldest of 8 children.* Coming from a small rural area, we all left home at early ages, and are scattered all over the country.

About 25 years ago, I started an annual get together, that we've continued non-stop since that time.

We rotate the responsibilities each year, and whoever's turn it is, schedules two tournament events for the week.* (Flag-football, Volly-Ball,
golf, softball, basketball, etc.* Choice is up to the one who's turn it is.* (Last year we had a total of 42, counting nephews, and grand-nephews, so having enough to field a team is no problem).

We've made this a priority, and very seldom has anybody not attended.

My brothers and sisters usually talk with each other by phone a few weeks after the get-together to go over an "injury report"

If it wasn't for doing this annually, we'd probably never see each other.
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-28-2006, 07:19 PM   #9
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

Yes, close, very close, so close that I live in the house that was my grand parents which is next to my dads house. All siblings live with in a 10 mile radius, one just a quarter mile up the street. We all gather at dads next door for Sunday breakfast and most days in good weather we're all sitting out on my patio. Ninety two year old grandfather drives down every day for lunch and for Sunday breakfast. Holidays are also large and noisey, I'm always sneaking back to my house for a little quiet.

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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-28-2006, 07:33 PM   #10
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

I'm an only, and with both parents dead, I have no immediate family outside of DH. I have an aunt and cousins nearby and see them several times a year .. also keep in contact with another cousin out West.
DH's family is about 600 miles away. We hear from many of them, but they expect him to do all the traveling to visit.
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-28-2006, 09:44 PM   #11
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

My parents are both deceased, and I see my one sister infrequenty (she's across the country). We talk on the phone every couple of months. I love her a lot, but we're not as close as I'd like.

My wife's family (4 siblings and their spouses, plus MIL and FIL) have taken me in--though they live all over the east, we get together every year for Christmas and generally a few times a year one couple will vist us or we'll visit them. They are a great bunch of folks, and we always have fun. I'm looking forward to spending more time with them in ESR.
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?
Old 04-30-2006, 09:47 AM   #12
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Re: Do you enjoy time w/ your family?

Einstein's Theory of Relativity: Time slows down when you're with relatives... :
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