Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Do you gift?
Old 08-07-2016, 05:54 PM   #1
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
imoldernu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 3,980
Do you gift?

What?
When?
Why?
To Whom?
Are your gifts reciprocated?

A subject that has been discussed in the past... time for an update.

A long time ago, with our immediate family, we mutually agreed that this was not necessary. For some occasions, a phone call, and maybe an invitation to go out for dinner together.

No less love, no less caring. If anything we're closer together, because there are no mistakes, no comparisons, and no pressure. It just works.

Only exception is for children under 10, and once in a while, when circumstances are right, a nominal amount of money... equally to the family members, but never as birthday, Christmas, anniversary etc. gifts.

How do you handle gifting?
__________________

__________________
One of the "Lucky Few"
imoldernu is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 08-07-2016, 06:02 PM   #2
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 719
There are no children in our family and if we get some I imagine then that we would give gifts. It slowly evolved that we stopped gift giving with family and friends. We take our kids out for a nice meal and they usually give us a gift card to movies or new restaurant. With friends sometimes it is just a card and sometimes I might take them out for a lunch or have them over for a meal. I really enjoy not having to buy a bunch of gifts and getting something I don't want, etc.
__________________

__________________
Teacher Terry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2016, 06:07 PM   #3
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: St. Augustine, Fla.
Posts: 1,210
Yes,
Money,
Birthdays, Christmas,
In Laws,
No
__________________
"Arguing with an Engineer is like rolling in the mud with a pig. Just remember that the pig likes it."
ShokWaveRider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2016, 06:22 PM   #4
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
mpeirce's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Columbus area
Posts: 1,353
Christmas and birthdays we give to immediate family members. Also other family members if they are staying with us.

Siblings and their spouses? Nope, not really.

Nieces and nephews? Yes, until they graduate from HS. Then graduation gifts for HS and college. Wedding gift if we are invited to the wedding.

We discourage others from giving gifts to us.
__________________
mpeirce is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2016, 06:40 PM   #5
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: winnipeg
Posts: 660
Just for the kids. No one in my family buys gifts for anyone any time of year (including Christmas) if they are over 18.
__________________
Music Lover is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2016, 06:51 PM   #6
Full time employment: Posting here.
Souschef's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Santa Paula
Posts: 607
The major gifting we do is to take my RMD and divide it 4 ways among our children.
__________________
Retired Jan 2009 Have not looked back.
AA 95%/0/5
WR 2% SI 2SS & 2 Pensions
Souschef is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2016, 06:53 PM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
RobbieB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Central CA
Posts: 1,565
My girlfriend. I just get her stuff she needs.
__________________
Retired at 59 in 2014. Should have done it sooner but I worried too much.
RobbieB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2016, 07:45 PM   #8
Moderator Emeritus
Bestwifeever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 15,615
Never give when you can regift. Preferably labelmakers.
__________________

Bestwifeever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2016, 08:51 PM   #9
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Colorado Mountains
Posts: 1,578
Quote:
Originally Posted by Souschef View Post
The major gifting we do is to take my RMD and divide it 4 ways among our children.
Did you forget the handsome amount you give to your Uncle Sam??
__________________
Hermit is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2016, 12:17 AM   #10
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Henderson
Posts: 36
I make gifts in cash up to the maximum annual amount that avoids running up gift tax or estate tax. That is $14,000 per year per recipient (currently). Since the law unifies estate tax and gift tax, and the estate tax rate is 40% for anything over $5,430,000 (currently), getting that money out of my estate costs my heirs "only" $5,600 for each gift of $14,000. I do not forget Uncle Sam's exactions.
__________________
Ted_Shepherd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2016, 12:56 AM   #11
Full time employment: Posting here.
Souschef's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Santa Paula
Posts: 607
There is a way around that limitation. You and your wife can each gift $14000,00.
__________________
Retired Jan 2009 Have not looked back.
AA 95%/0/5
WR 2% SI 2SS & 2 Pensions
Souschef is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2016, 08:52 AM   #12
Moderator
Alan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Eee Bah Gum
Posts: 19,354
What? Gifts and cash
When? Birthdays for all listed below, Christmas & birthdays for children.
Why? Family tradition - we many years agreed not to do gifts between adults except our own children
To Whom? our children and our nieces and nephews under age 18 (only 2 left under that age)
Are your gifts reciprocated? From our children yes, from nieces and nephews no. While our children were under 18 they received birthday gifts from their uncles and aunties
__________________
Retired in Jan, 2010 at 55
Now it's adventure before dementia
Alan is online now   Reply With Quote
Might Marry my intended Heir
Old 08-08-2016, 09:02 AM   #13
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Henderson
Posts: 36
Might Marry my intended Heir

Quote:
Originally Posted by Souschef View Post
There is a way around that limitation. You and your wife can each gift $14000,00.
That works for married people but I'm unmarried. I could duck the estate tax altogether by marrying my intended heir. He's a generation younger than I am and no kin. So far as I know, bequests and gifts to a spouse are not subject to gift or estate tax.
__________________
Ted_Shepherd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2016, 09:07 AM   #14
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 447
What? - all kinds of stuff: money, merchandise, time, vacations
When? - birthdays, holidays, weddings if invited (non- immediate family)
Why? - bc it's fun
To Whom? - kids, spouses, grandkids
Are your gifts reciprocated? - always
__________________
gayl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2016, 09:28 AM   #15
Recycles dryer sheets
Sojourner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 344
I have long given my sibling's children both birthday gifts and Christmas gifts, and since I have no kids of my own, I've always been fairly generous with these gifts. Now these nieces and nephews are in their teens and a few are even in college. I expect I'll continue to do both birthday and Xmas gifts for each of them until they graduate from college, and after that... not sure. I don't want to appear like a Scrooge, but I suppose it only makes sense to scale back once they reach full adulthood.

As for other gifting, I give money or gift cards to immediate family for birthdays and Christmas, and they tend to get me things that I've mentioned I might like or would appreciate. It seems to work out pretty well for everyone.
__________________
Sojourner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2016, 10:13 AM   #16
Full time employment: Posting here.
Cobra9777's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 818
Between DW and myself, we use birthdays, Christmas, and our anniversary as an excuse to make a large-ish purchase that we might not otherwise make, like a new piece of furniture.

Between immediate family living in the area, we do small gifts for birthdays and Christmas. These are gifts or gift cards (rarely cash), and usually around $50 or less in value... sometimes larger at Christmas. Recipients include our in-laws, our 2 kids, and their spouses. Our granddaughter is inundated with gifts every time we see her, mostly clothes, books, or toys.

Family that live in other areas of the country get a 'happy birthday' message on Facebook and a Christmas card with photos.

Father's Day and Mother's Day usually involve a BBQ get-together at our house and similar or smaller gifts for all Dads and Moms, often just a card and a nice bottle of wine, flowers, or something similar.

We do gifts because it's fun and traditional in our family. We try to keep it small and fun.
__________________
Retired at 52 in July 2013. On to better things...

AA: 45% stock, 35% bonds, 15% real estate, 5% cash
Cobra9777 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2016, 10:46 AM   #17
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,056
Nope. Parents and siblings are all doing well and buy what they want when they want it, which isn't very often. A couple of siblings-in-law come from families where it's almost an obligation and they still try and find something to give my parents (age 85) for Christmas.


With DS and DDIL, we do a birthday dinner at a good restaurant (Lidia's in KC when they're here). Even with our 2-year old granddaughter, I've stuck to books and music CDs, plus a generous 529 account. They have a small house and DDIL's brother and his wife can't have children so they tend to go overboard with gifts for the granddaughter. We also do one-off things that mean more than "stuff"- renting an SUV and paying the expenses for all of us to drive to a family wedding, paying for one of the two tickets to bring DS, DDIL and the granddaughter to Myrtle Beach last Christmas to visit my parents. I also took DDIL shopping at Allen's when we were at the family wedding in Austin because I knew she loved good boots and told her to pick out a pair of Justin boots.
__________________
athena53 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2016, 10:53 AM   #18
Full time employment: Posting here.
SumDay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 750
I have finally convinced the family (adults) to stop buying gifts. It involves shipping and I just saw no point.

For the young ones, we put cash in their 529(c) accounts for birthdays and Christmas.

We give our adult kids cash for Christmas, and beg them to get us nothing, just come home some time during the year at the same time so we can all be together. They're good at the coming home, not so good at the "no gifts".

DH and I consider our vacations our gifts to one another for the year. Having recently downsized, we finally realized we don't need any additional cr*p.
__________________
SumDay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2016, 03:50 PM   #19
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 14,678
For the adults no, everyone already has everything they need/want within reason. But we, well mostly DW, gives lots to the grandnieces and grandnephews. She enjoys doing it, it is fun for her. When they're little it is mostly clothes and perhaps some toys, but the older they get it turns more to experiences. For example a couple of years ago I instigated going on a zipline canopy tour in Harper's Ferry, WV. The cost ended up being spread around with grandparents too and we all had fun.
__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2016, 04:47 PM   #20
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
NW-Bound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 17,042
We do give money to young nieces and nephews under 18 for their birthday and Christmas. For the older, for HS and college graduation. Of course weddings of nieces and nephews call for larger cash gifts, usually $500.

We do not exchange or give gifts to adult relatives, except I may give my siblings something special from my travel, which is usually consumables like local food items or booze. I occasionally do the same for my nieces who live nearby in town and I see them often, and of course my children. These usually reciprocate when the occasion arises.

When my mother goes on a trip, I usually give her some spending money.
__________________

__________________
"Old age is the most unexpected of all things that can happen to a man" -- Leo Tolstoy
NW-Bound is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Did you gift money to your kids? How? wanaberetiree Other topics 18 03-11-2014 08:57 AM
How did you gift $$ to your kid? wanaberetiree Other topics 9 03-10-2013 10:32 PM
Do you have experience with "charity gift funds"? FIREd Other topics 10 09-30-2009 10:10 PM
Best Gift you Ever Received or Got Someone Else....... FinanceDude Other topics 13 06-25-2009 07:42 PM
Veteran's Day Gift to all you vets~Thanks for your service mickeyd Other topics 1 11-03-2006 12:42 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:42 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.