Does your spouse annoy you in retirement?

[misanman]

I prefer to talk in a low voice from several rooms away, preferably with the dishwasher running, and get annoyed when DH doesn't hear me. It is a surefire way drive him crazy!

Did you learn this from my DW? Sometimes I can hear that she's talking so what to do? Ignore it and figure that if it's important it'll come up later? Or stop whatever I'm doing and walk to the room she's in and say "Did you say something?"

Another thing that happens is that I will be on the phone and she's in another room going on and on about something. Eventually she will find me, see that I'm on the phone, and say "Oh".

We've been married 48 years and the good overwhelms the small issues.

 

[MRG]

I'm sitting here listening to my wife talk to herself in the kitchen. She talks constantly--seldom shutting her mouth.

I used to talk some--until I retired--and now cannot get a word in edgewise. I just keep my mouth shut.

Didn't you post in another thread about falling from a ladder and breaking both legs? Coincidence? I think not.

Sometimes DW sings, not too well, but she's happy. I even find myself smiling when I hear her.

 

[Lisa99]

We were lucky enough to both have an opportunity to work from home for the last 5 years so we've already test drove the 24x7 thing.

It works fine for us, but then neither of us are big talkers and we do have some separate activities that take us out of the house at different times.

Now his dad on the other hand drives me crazy!! He visits us every year at this time and spends about six weeks in our home. He has several OCD-related ticks (hums constantly, sucks his teeth, smacks his lips, etc.) He's a very sweet man but he's NEVER quiet. For this INTJ by the end of the six weeks I'm ready for a padded cell.

 

[utrecht]

The only time my wife annoys me is when she leaves the oven or stove on after shes done....and she does it about once a week. Other than that she is about as close to perfect as a wife couple possibly be.

 

[karen1972]

We both worked from home for awhile and we drove each other nuts. I just don't think there is enough outside interaction to keep one from not going nuts. Reality is I can't be trapped inside a place with a single person for 24 hours straight and they not annoy me to some degree. However, its easy to resolve.. we rented a place that has a large club house where one of us goes to work for several hours a day, we also picked up outside hobbies so we leave the house for several hours. Basically as long as we have "outside" stimulation for a few hours every day and thus it gives you things to talk about, experiences to share that are unique, we don't annoy each other. however if we sat around and did everything together.. we would drive each other bonkers running out of things to say or not say anything.. which isn't good either.

The old adage separation makes the heart grow funder.. well I think even in small doses its true. People in general are more interesting to be around when they have new experiences to share with you.

 

[JoeWras]

You need to go back to work!

When I lived in Florida, a simple store front opened up advertising shoe repair. (Remember when we got shoes repaired?) So I go in to get my Florsheims fixed. It was a new business in a very simple, spare storefront with very old equipment.

He told me to wait, and started the repair, right there in front of me. While working we struck up a conversation. I asked him, "Why? Why this business?" (It was already getting obvious that shoes were becoming throw away.)

So he starts to tell me his story. He's 75 now. Worked the shop up on NYC for 60 years (started with his dad). They retired to FLA, but he drug along the machines for their eventual resale value -- or some such excuse.

He said after 1 week in FLA, he couldn't take his wife's talking anymore. They argued. He suggested he open up the shop again. And he did - just to get away from her.

He says he'd be lucky to break even. He was there for at least 2 years, and then I moved away. I always wonder what ultimately happened...

P.S. He did a FANTASTIC job on the resoling of my shoes.

 

[Ronstar]

I was retired a while before DW retired. The whole day used to be spent doing whatever I wanted. Now DW wants to tag along on almost all of my adventures. But it takes her forever to get ready to go somewhere. Sometimes she's not ready to roll by 10 am. So my life has slowed down a lot by waiting.


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[robnplunder]

Don't even get me started. During retirement it is critical to spend just as much time away from one's spouse as when you were working. Trust me on this. I play golf, ride my motorcycle and find activities that take me out of the house. Love my wife with all my heart but not meant to be together 24/7.

It is a documented fact that women talk three times as much as men. My wife says it is because we have to tell you everything three times.

Good thing DW and I play golf. That's 1/2 of the day that we spend time together already. I think I talk a bit more than DW does but talking frequency is never a problem. Talking content is, sometimes.

 

[Amethyst]

Did she not do this when you were first married? If so, why is it just now bothering you?

 

[Nodak]

When I was a child it used to bother me that my parents argued so often then one day when I was about 13 I came home from school and they were arguing about whether a certain container was a bottle or a jar. At that point I realized they really just enjoyed arguing with each other. They both passed away many years ago.

 

[ls99]

REW, spoken like a wise man with years in the trenches!

I prefer to talk in a low voice from several rooms away, preferably with the dishwasher running, and get annoyed when DH doesn't hear me. It is a surefire way drive him crazy!

You my DW's lost twin sister?

I do the same at times to her, and she gets annoyed

 

[txtig]

I laughed out loud when I read the OP's post. But, with FIRE being only about 7 months out, that is one of my biggest fears. I asked DW a few weeks ago if she thought we would get on each other's nerves once were together 24/7. She didn't react too well to the question. Oh well, I do have a retirement project planned to remodel our covered patio (overlooking the pool) to build an outdoor kitchen with a 60" TV. All of that, with easy access to the beer fridge in the garage, and I should have a comfortable place of my own to hang out if I need to.


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[haha]

Did she not do this when you were first married? If so, why is it just now bothering you?

Gee, who could imagine a difference between one's feelings toward a 25 year old and a 55 year old?

Certainly not me.

Ha

 

[Which Roger]

Ha! - that's me too!

It has been about 20 years since I have lived with anyone full-time and at this point, I don't think I could share a living space with anyone, whether a romantic partner or otherwise. My hat is off to those of you who do it.

That's a big part of the reason that I knew that my current DW was THE ONE. I had been single for a long time, and couldn't picture living with anybody else, then she came along, and it felt different; just easy being together.

 

[mystang52]

Not an annoyance, but DW likes to talk to me from the kitchen when I'm in the den. I don't have good hearing anymore, so I can hear her speaking but cannot discern the words. One of the reasons I haven't gotten hearing aids yet

 

[Silver]

I adore my husband of 8 years. (There have been previous marriages for both of us.) He is brilliant, and has an amazing memory for details about almost everything he has ever read or heard.

When we go out, he almost always drives. And he talks....and talks...about whatever comes into his mind. I have heard detailed descriptions of aircraft accidents that interest him, battlefield strategies of different wars, the reasons that the S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald sank in 1975 with a verbatim recital of the lyrics of the song by Gordon Lightfoot. I have heard more about Greek mythology than I ever care to know. Chemical reactions..the whys, the hows, the whens. The history of mathematics and how much it is misunderstood and under appreciated is a favorite of his. And it goes on...forever. The only times I interrupt is when he has just driven past our turn or exit on the highway, which is often.

His talking is fine. His driving while talking is annoying.

 

[tmm99]

My DH does that sometimes (talking incessantly). When he does, some of the time, I say "Was I supposed to be listening? Cuz I wasn't." Most of the time he says he was thinking out loud, and he usually stops after that. Sometimes we start talking about what was on his mind.


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[sengsational]

Didn't you post in another thread about falling from a ladder and breaking both legs? Coincidence? I think not.

 

[34rlsa]

A spouse who is talking to you is usually a much better situation than a spouse who is not talking to you.

 

[Bamaman]

When we go out, he almost always drives. And he talks....and talks...about whatever comes into his mind. I have heard detailed descriptions of aircraft accidents that interest him, battlefield strategies of different wars, the reasons that the S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald sank in 1975 with a verbatim recital of the lyrics of the song by Gordon Lightfoot. I have heard more about Greek mythology than I ever care to know. Chemical reactions..the whys, the hows, the whens. The history of mathematics and how much it is misunderstood and under appreciated is a favorite of his. And it goes on...forever. The only times I interrupt is when he have just driven past our turn or exit on the highway, which is often.

The above has to be my favorite of all the postings. Silver, you're too much.


Ever notice how one spouse has to get the last word--all the time. That's another trait that drives me up the wall. Get in a little disagreement, and we'll spar back and forth--but she'll always be the one to say the last word.

 

[robnplunder]

Ever notice how one spouse has to get the last word--all the time. That's another trait that drives me up the wall. Get in a little disagreement, and we'll spar back and forth--but she'll always be the one to say the last word.

In the 7th year of our marriage, I decided to lose every argument. Happily married ever since.

 

[RetireAge50]

D

 

[Calico]

Except with cats eh? I'm with you on that!

Cats are fine - the more the merrier! It's the members of the human species who would get on my nerves after too long in the same space. To be fair, I'm sure they would say the same of me.

 

[Calico]

These days you can buy these specifically made for husbands. While they block out external noise the filter lets through key phrases such as, "Are you listening to me?"

Now all you need is a pair that responds "yes, dear" at programmed intervals, and you're good to go!

 

[34rlsa]

I must be the luckiest SOB here. My wife has always been my best friend, best supporter, best lover, best mother... and after more than 30 years of marriage we are closer than ever.

I can listen to her b*llshit all day and night.