Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 11-21-2011, 01:51 AM   #21
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Largo
Posts: 1,945
Sounds like you've got a plan. Good luck. Keep us posted.
__________________

__________________
Buckeye is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 11-21-2011, 02:39 AM   #22
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 1,005
If he is not 150% into it, any rehab will be like burning money, i am afraid.
__________________

__________________
chris2008 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2011, 07:20 AM   #23
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 214
My nephew has Asperger's. I think you can not address this as just a drug problem. Many people with a mental disorder "self medicate". You need to get him help for his Asperger's as well as deal with the drug abuse problem.

My nephew is on a veritable pharmacy of meds. He also goes to a special school which has helped him greatly with his social skills.

My son who has ADHD is on time release ritalin and low dose risperidone and went from doing poorly in school and temper tantrums to straight A's.

Your brother needs to see a psychiatrist experienced in treating Asperger's and get on the right prescription meds AND get help for the drug abuse which imho is driven by the need to self medicate to feel "normal".

Best of luck with your difficult situation.
__________________
chemist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2011, 09:16 AM   #24
Recycles dryer sheets
studbucket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Kirkland
Posts: 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by chris2008 View Post
If he is not 150% into it, any rehab will be like burning money, i am afraid.
I'm worried you are right, but not sure what our alternatives should be, especially if we can get some rehab covered by insurance.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chemist View Post
My nephew has Asperger's. I think you can not address this as just a drug problem. Many people with a mental disorder "self medicate". You need to get him help for his Asperger's as well as deal with the drug abuse problem.

My nephew is on a veritable pharmacy of meds. He also goes to a special school which has helped him greatly with his social skills.

My son who has ADHD is on time release ritalin and low dose risperidone and went from doing poorly in school and temper tantrums to straight A's.

Your brother needs to see a psychiatrist experienced in treating Asperger's and get on the right prescription meds AND get help for the drug abuse which imho is driven by the need to self medicate to feel "normal".

Best of luck with your difficult situation.
Totally, totally agree. I'm not sure if I can believe my mom, but she says that he won't see his counselor anymore and also doesn't want to be dependent on medicine (which is silly since he's depending on drugs instead). I'm hoping we can get him to a psychiatrist soon, which is apparently hard to do, according to my mom. My brother may have paranoid schizophrenia too, I just found out.

He totally needs meds and help, but just like rehab, what do we do if he's not interested?

I also haven't spent as much time thinking about this issue, which I should do.
__________________
Aiming to retire at or before 2031 at age 45.

Status: Saving. Started in Oct 2011, I am ~9 months ahead of where I expected to be and about ~3 months ahead of my desired schedule.
studbucket is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-2011, 10:28 AM   #25
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,387
Quote:
Originally Posted by studbucket View Post
He totally needs meds and help, but just like rehab, what do we do if he's not interested?

I also haven't spent as much time thinking about this issue, which I should do.
Wayward sibs, especially users, can be a giant black hole. Especially if you are the oldest you are likely to get nothing but grief from whatever you do.

My youngest brother is dead, did shots right up to his death from liver failure. I never told him to stop drinking; he was no moron, he knew that spending half his life drunk was not good. My second brother takes good care of himself, but feels entitled to rag on me because he supposedly loved dead brother more. Well, I don't think so myself. My sister and I were with dead brother to the ugly end, while a-hole brother #2 was awol visiting his new girlfriend. The way I see it, action counts, not one's protestations of devotion. #2 could fall off a mountain and I would not take notice.

So if I were you I would shore up my boundries, be sure you know what you feel you must do for your own well being, and do not expect any positive feedback from your interaction with these damaged people or their damaged and damaging enablers. There has never been a drunk or a user who was not a grade A con, and a pretty good person to avoid. And regarding the enablers, it isn't only love that makes them do this. A lot of control comes with being someone's piggy bank. And some people really like to have control over others.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-01-2012, 11:33 PM   #26
Recycles dryer sheets
studbucket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Kirkland
Posts: 139
An update for all of you. My brother finished up the semester, went on a cruise with the family, got back, called me and at one point asked "So, are we gonna do the rehab thing?"

I told him yep, turned around and called Hazelden 20 minutes later. They've started the process are talking to my mom and possibly to him as well. They will be helping him with the drug rehab, getting his life organized, and trying to do something to help him with his Asperger's and other mental "issues" he may have. (I want to be careful because Asperger's isn't necessarily bad, it just needs to be handled correctly. However, he may have some other problems)

Thanks for the help and the recommendation, I hope this goes well!
__________________
Aiming to retire at or before 2031 at age 45.

Status: Saving. Started in Oct 2011, I am ~9 months ahead of where I expected to be and about ~3 months ahead of my desired schedule.
studbucket is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 12:23 AM   #27
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,620
Quote:
Originally Posted by studbucket View Post
An update for all of you. My brother finished up the semester, went on a cruise with the family, got back, called me and at one point asked "So, are we gonna do the rehab thing?"
Thanks for the help and the recommendation, I hope this goes well!
What's his motivation? Has he been leaning toward this for the last few months, or did something recently change his mind/life?

I'd think that it would have to be an internal drive. It seems hard to make external family morale-building last through the entire rehab.
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 12:44 AM   #28
Recycles dryer sheets
studbucket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Kirkland
Posts: 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords View Post
What's his motivation? Has he been leaning toward this for the last few months, or did something recently change his mind/life?
Not completely sure. Maybe he's been hearing it enough from family and been away from it for a little bit.

Maybe the time we hung out when I went back for Thanksgiving made a difference. I spent 4-6 hours alone with each brother, doing something fun, and then took them all to a movie as well. Maybe the talk helped, or telling him ahead of time I wanted him to do rehab after they got back from the cruise.

So, probably some internal motivation, but it may not be enough as there were several external factors.
__________________
Aiming to retire at or before 2031 at age 45.

Status: Saving. Started in Oct 2011, I am ~9 months ahead of where I expected to be and about ~3 months ahead of my desired schedule.
studbucket is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 03:20 AM   #29
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 1,005
Good news. All the best for brother and all your family.
__________________
chris2008 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-02-2012, 02:50 PM   #30
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Broomfield
Posts: 87
studbucket - you have received much excellent advice here and I am struck by your beautiful love for your brother. Your latest update is encouraging and I pray that this rehab will be the one that launches a new life for him.

My own life story was much like your brother's, and my hard-core addictions lasted until my near-death at 42 years old. I think many of my loved ones tried many of the things that have been suggested here, and I don't want to characterize them as wastes of time, but as has also been mentioned here, none of what they tried worked because I wasn't ready to quit. Once I became ready, truly ready, I faced the hard work and I have succeeded with almost 15 years of sobriety now. For me, the thing that made me say, "this is it - I'm done" was one night when I almost killed my wife, my sister, my niece, and myself in a drunk/drugged driving incident. I thank God that there were no lasting injuries.

My family has forgiven me for everything I put them through and their love for me is as if none of this ever happened. I sense that this is how you will be when your brother is finally free from the bondage of addiction. I can tell you just want your brother back.

Today I walk as a free man, so totally grateful for my family and my life. I "pay it forward" by helping run a recovery ministry at my church called "Celebrate Recovery". It's not the program for everyone, but I have seen many set free there, and I'm honored to be able to help with it in any way.

But....this was not meant to be about me - this is about your brother - I just wanted to encourage you that it sounds to me like he will find his way with the outstanding support of professionals, friends, and family members like you. God Bless and never give up!
__________________
psweath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2012, 03:04 PM   #31
Recycles dryer sheets
studbucket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Kirkland
Posts: 139
OK, I need some more help & advice. My mom sent me a long email, which I'm not done digesting. However, the gist of it is that she and my brother are considering sending him to Narconon.

Does anyone have any thoughts or experiences with Narconon?

All over the internet there are references to Narconon being run by Scientology (and it's based on L Ron Hubbard's principals). It scares me...but what are your thoughts?
Narconon Exposed
Narconon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Association for Better Living and Education - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Narconon | Drug Rehabilitation | Drug Education
Narconon Research - The Science behind the Narconon drug rehab program.

Thanks!
__________________
Aiming to retire at or before 2031 at age 45.

Status: Saving. Started in Oct 2011, I am ~9 months ahead of where I expected to be and about ~3 months ahead of my desired schedule.
studbucket is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2012, 04:09 PM   #32
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Lsbcal's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: west coast, hi there!
Posts: 5,696
Quote:
Originally Posted by studbucket View Post
OK, I need some more help & advice. My mom sent me a long email, which I'm not done digesting. However, the gist of it is that she and my brother are considering sending him to Narconon.

Does anyone have any thoughts or experiences with Narconon?

All over the internet there are references to Narconon being run by Scientology (and it's based on L Ron Hubbard's principals). It scares me...but what are your thoughts?
...
It is very difficult identifying the quality or suitability of any of these types of treatment centers. The first criteria I would think is that the patient be volunteering to do this. The next thing is that the patient should ideally have the financial responsibility on their shoulders. What is tough is knowing whether the care givers (1) are doing a good and lasting job, (2) motivated to provide the care in as short a time span as is practical, (3) not motivated by only money, and (4) are not trying to push some unpleasant world view on the patient.

I guess what I'm saying is obvious. Patients and family are sometimes desparately trying to cope and will sometimes be taken advantage of. This can be a lonely quest indeed. Sometimes talking with a counselor trained in such matters as a third party source would be a good idea.

I suggest talking to a counselor that you can identify in your home town so that he/she can provide a non-biased sounding board for your thoughts and fears. There may be others with more direct experience who can answer here, but I still think that a one on one dialog with an experienced counselor trained in substance abuse whoud be a good idea. The modest hourly fee for this would probably be a good investment. Perhaps your doctor could provide a referral.
__________________
Lsbcal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2012, 10:22 PM   #33
Recycles dryer sheets
studbucket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Kirkland
Posts: 139
Thanks! I'll see if there's someone I can talk to who will help me through this.

An update: I left work early and spent 3 hours researching Narconon...it's not a great place. Nothing they do is rooted in science, they have no published, peer-reviewed work, and their treatment consists of being in the sauna and taking a lot of niacin. I sent some emails to my mom, talked to her, and it's done, she's dropped it.

She definitely has some selfish issues driving this and lied in email saying it was my brother that wanted some of the things she was describing. My wife and I called her out on all of them, and she should be continuing with Hazelden tomorrow to get the rest of the insurance and medical history information to them.

I suppose I'll just need to continue to check in.
__________________

__________________
Aiming to retire at or before 2031 at age 45.

Status: Saving. Started in Oct 2011, I am ~9 months ahead of where I expected to be and about ~3 months ahead of my desired schedule.
studbucket is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Drug prices to plummet in wave of expiring patents Purron Health and Early Retirement 12 07-31-2011 11:21 AM
Prescription Drug Revelation JOHNNIE36 Health and Early Retirement 1 07-20-2011 07:02 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:50 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.