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DW is a horrible driver
Old 12-12-2017, 10:53 AM   #1
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DW is a horrible driver

... telling her so won't be constructive , so I'll just rant a little here if you don't mind.

the good: she hasn't totaled a car in 12 years.. (ran a red light and was t-boned, luckily with no injuries to either driver).
the bad: she rides the brakes, is tentative and indecisive, not assertive, hugs the right side of the lane...

Her driving skills were fine for the smaller town we lived in. Traffic was not a big problem. In the big city people drive so much more aggressively and if you don't drive a little more determined and engaged, you'll get in trouble. I don't mean that she should drive too aggressive, just with a little more enthusiasm.

I only ride with her when I must.

All this being said, she likewise thinks I'm a lousy driver I've encouraged her to wear a blindfold, but haven't been successful.
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Old 12-12-2017, 11:04 AM   #2
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Mine scares the heck out of me and I am afraid form the grandkids to ride with her.

Sha refuses to use her mirrors and will not pass anyone running slower than her.
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Old 12-12-2017, 11:11 AM   #3
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Until DW had admitted she "couldn't see well" because of her cataracts, she banged up our NEW Santa Few four (yes, 4) times.
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Old 12-12-2017, 11:12 AM   #4
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Driverless cars will soon come to the rescue...
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Old 12-12-2017, 11:15 AM   #5
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You could look into something like this:
Driver Improvement Courses For Seniors

If you both signed up for it, then there wouldn't be any stigma attached to recommending it for her.
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Old 12-12-2017, 11:21 AM   #6
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Plus buying/leasing a new car with Level 2 automation
(forward collision warning w/ autonomous emergency braking, lane keep assist, etc.)
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Old 12-12-2017, 01:15 PM   #7
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Old 12-12-2017, 02:12 PM   #8
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First of all, let's hope DW never sees this post!

I know what you mean; I could have written the OP. My DW is tentative as well. Now, I'm not saying we should pull out in front of people, speed, pass on the double line, etc. DW is so tentative she waits too long at stop signs to the point that the other drivers assume she's letting them go, then she pulls out and complains about the other driver cutting her off. I also threaten to blindfold her when I drive, too. But riding with her for over a quarter-century has taught me to keep my mouth shut.

Bless her heart!
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Old 12-12-2017, 02:17 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by braumeister View Post
You could look into something like this:
Driver Improvement Courses For Seniors

If you both signed up for it, then there wouldn't be any stigma attached to recommending it for her.
That's a smart idea.
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Old 12-12-2017, 02:24 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Tailgate View Post
... telling her so won't be constructive , so I'll just rant a little here if you don't mind.

the good: she hasn't totaled a car in 12 years.. (ran a red light and was t-boned, luckily with no injuries to either driver).
the bad: she rides the brakes, is tentative and indecisive, not assertive, hugs the right side of the lane...

Her driving skills were fine for the smaller town we lived in. Traffic was not a big problem. In the big city people drive so much more aggressively and if you don't drive a little more determined and engaged, you'll get in trouble. I don't mean that she should drive too aggressive, just with a little more enthusiasm.

I only ride with her when I must.

All this being said, she likewise thinks I'm a lousy driver I've encouraged her to wear a blindfold, but haven't been successful.
Lucky You! My wife totaled her 2009 turbo Jetta a little over two years ago. She ran into the back of a stopped school bus - while waiting at a light.

The only good thing that came out of this was she received a pretty high insurance reimbursement in conjunction with a $2,500 VW settlement due to their legal issues.

Our insurance premiums with the lizard doubled and fortunately another carrier picked us up without penalty. Outside of her having to go to w*rk, I try to do all of the driving.

I
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Old 12-12-2017, 02:37 PM   #11
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You have my sympathy. DH has ADDD—attention deficit driving disorder—and loses focus if he sees a red winged blackbird or a pretty sunset, or heaven help us if a song comes on that he likes, which causes him to slow down down down until it’s over. He also doesn’t see a problem on a two-lane road to drive straddling the center if no one is coming—one memorable night he went a couple of miles in the oncoming lane waiting I guess for an oncoming car to show up and need it (I finally spoke up). He has never had an accident, though. Fortunately he doesn’t really like to drive so I do most of it.

I highly recommend a new car with assisted everything. And big rubber bumpers would be a nice invention just in case.
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Old 12-12-2017, 02:39 PM   #12
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You could look into something like this:
Driver Improvement Courses For Seniors

If you both signed up for it, then there wouldn't be any stigma attached to recommending it for her.
+1

I have offered the below linked class to DW as she also tends to be too slow and tentative. It is more aggressive than a solely classroom experience (you can use your car or theirs). There is of course some class time but there is time on the track as well. There is also skid training on a skid pad. From personal experience (at work we received annual driving classes) I know that is VERY useful. It goes far beyond spinning donuts on a snowy parking lot. The 5-minute video at the second link is worth watching.

Where I worked the most common cause of injury or death was traffic accidents simply because we spent so much time on the road. So the employer naturally made driver training a priority.

Accident Avoidance | Summit Point Motorsports Park

https://www.accidentavoidance.com/

Perhaps there is something like that near Tailgate?
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Old 12-12-2017, 02:47 PM   #13
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All this being said, she likewise thinks I'm a lousy driver I've encouraged her to wear a blindfold, but haven't been successful.
Same here.

I basically drive the speed limit or up to 5 mph more, but Im always driving WAY too fast or WAY too slow - not sure how it can be both. She was fine with our driving until she had a serious accident about 10 years ago, shes been very skittish in cars ever since. She always thinks Im too close to other cars, guard rails, lane markers and she goes ape when we have to drive next to concrete barriers - I think her depth perception isnt what it used to be. And shes admitted she cant see as well at night, so that compounds it all. But I love her all the same...
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Old 12-12-2017, 03:38 PM   #14
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Plus buying/leasing a new car with Level 2 automation
(forward collision warning w/ autonomous emergency braking, lane keep assist, etc.)
True story: I was driving wife's 2016 E350 on a trip (I hardly ever drive her car), and a car in front slammed on brakes. Our car beeped a couple of times, and assisted with braking until the other car was moving again and no danger. I said, "what was that beeping?", she said, " I don't know, it does that all the time!"

I looked it up in the owners manual later and determined it was Forward Collision Warning system. I didn't even know about it. Once I told her what it was, and she remembered/realized what she had said "...it does that all the time", we had a good 5 minute laugh.
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Old 12-12-2017, 03:49 PM   #15
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Her driving skills were fine for the smaller town we lived in. Traffic was not a big problem. In the big city people drive so much more aggressively and if you don't drive a little more determined and engaged, you'll get in trouble.
Sounds like you could live and/or drive in the Houston area. Possibly the worse (or at least the most aggressive drivers) I've ever seen.
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Old 12-12-2017, 06:00 PM   #16
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I have to say my wife is a great driver. The thing is with me I trust my own driving over anyone else but that doesn't mean I'm a better driver then anyone else. I like to have control of the wheel. LOL
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Old 12-12-2017, 06:06 PM   #17
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Well said.

The only thing I have to add is that the vehicle tends to go where the driver is looking. Perhaps OP's DW is focusing on the right shoulder to almost the exclusion of everything else.

Observed that my DW, an excellent driver, makes millions of course corrections in the span of a mile. She's obsessive about keeping the vehicle in the absolute center of the driving lane - jab of the wheel to the right, over correction to the left, etc., etc.

My driving style is more of picking a target in the center of the driving lane a quarter of a mile up the road. Steering is more of an imperceivable lean to port or starboard.

DW is near-sighted. I'm far-sighted. Just saying.
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Old 12-12-2017, 07:54 PM   #18
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Bless her heart!
I see what you did there!

and I am shutting up. And i have the bruises on my right bicep to prove it
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Old 12-12-2017, 08:02 PM   #19
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Sha refuses to use her mirrors and will not pass anyone running slower than her.
How do you not pass someone running slower than you? Rear-end them?
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Old 12-12-2017, 08:09 PM   #20
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Plus buying/leasing a new car with Level 2 automation
(forward collision warning w/ autonomous emergency braking, lane keep assist, etc.)
Unless a new car is out of the picture, this is the absolute best answer - it is not a luxury brand thing anymore at all, and the auto braking and lane assists are fantastic these days. Gentle steering widely available as well.

And if its the car beeping at the wife instead of me then I just stay quiet
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