End of Life Advice

[grumpy]

For anyone facing the terminal care of a loved one or if you want to be prepared:

http://www.compassionandchoices.org/services/

Grumpy

[audreyh1]

I really regret not getting hospice involved with my mother (terminal cancer). We just didn't know any better at the time and for some reason my Dad didn't think it was time to get them involved yet. I think she suffered more than she should have. Looking back I really wonder what we were thinking?!?!

I know better now.

Audrey

[Aaron]

I also agree that Hospice is great and can be a big help.* My grandmother was there for the last 3 weeks of her life and it was a very comfortable environment, for both her and the entire family.*

My dad was able to bring in a keyboard and play music, and we also had CDs that my grandmother enjoyed.* Thinking back, having music made things a lot more comfortable when family just wanted to think and reflect on memories.* This hospice had very nice outdoor gardens, fountains, benches to sit on, etc. to help people relax.*

I just found out that my grandfather is probably down to his last month or so.* He had cancer 10 years ago and it seems like it came back, so he knows the routine, and has refused any kind of medical tests or treatment.* I think he’s accepted that it’s his time to go and has enjoyed a long, full life, but it's still hard on the family.

[astromeria]

My father stayed at home--hospice came to him. That's what my mother said she wants, too, if it comes to that.

[Brat]

An untimely death is a tragedy. *

Lingering long when ill or frail in old age is tough. *In my experience the MD recommends hospice care to the family, encourages them to use it as a resource. *As the physician commented the last phase can be longer than predicted. *It is important for both the patient and family to have appropriate care and help.

BTW, the Oregon Physician Assisted Suicide law requires that the patient request assistance, that the patient be in the late stage of a terminal condition, they obtain a second opinion who confirms the condition and mental capacity of the patient. *Only then may the primary care physician write a script for meds that the patient may take to end their life. *No one can administer the med. *As a practical matter Alzheimer’s and dementia patients cannot use this option.

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

Quote:

Originally Posted by astromeria My father stayed at home--hospice came to him. That's what my mother said she wants, too, if it comes to that.

That's the rule rather than the exception these days.

The main reason for "hospice house" or inpatient hospice is if certain measures necessary for comfort are difficult or impossible to maintain at home, e.g. specific types of pain pumps, assistive respiratory devices for comfort - and even these are now often done at home.

[Brat]

Here's a story about one person's effort to arrange care for frail family members (from MarketWatch* ): http://tinyurl.com/et3xn

[lazygood4nothinbum]

hospice also comes to nursing homes as they do for mom at the alzheimer's unit of the assisted living facility. most alzheimer's victims die without benefit of hospice care because the course of the disease can be so unpredictable.

new guideline establish that when a dementia patient is no longer ambulatory and can no longer speak (at which point 85% die within 6 months) hospice can be engaged. we brought them onboard as soon as we were able. i have a friend who did not and suffered (both she and her mom) because of her inaction.

[Dreamer]

Hospice came to my brother's home. He wanted to be able to die at home and this allowed him his wish. I agree that they were wonderful.

[Meadbh]

TromboneAl, you need all the support you can get, including this forum.
Here's a website you might find helpful:

www.virtualhospice.ca

If you find it useful and would like to register, send me a PM and I'll do that for you.

Meadbh