I hate to throw this shocking news at you, but my calendar (right there on the wall) actually ends on December 31st of THIS year.
Sure, I know there are some who believe they can simply go out and buy a new calendar that will restart the entire cycle, but I call that merely a conspiracy theory. They're hoping to dupe us all into spending our money on calendars instead of LBYM.
Well, I for one am no more of a fool than necessary, so I plan to do the sensible thing and stay awake for the next ten days so as not to miss the last days of our planet.
Or there may be an alternative:
The way I understand the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, what we call "days" are actually quantum waveforms that collapse into normal time only when observed. I made good use of this principle back in the Y2K episode by staying awake past midnight. You are all still here due to my diligent efforts, and I'm willing to do it again if each of you sends a token donation (oh, say $100 each) to my PO box.
Time is running out, so act today!
.......oh my...thanks for the laughs y'all!
