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ER limericks
Old 07-05-2014, 02:09 PM   #1
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ER limericks

A few years back there was a ER haiku thread.
ER haiku - any takers?

Time to mix it up a bit...

A refresher on the format:
  • Five lines.
  • The first line usually describes a person & place (or situation).
  • Lines 1, 2 and 5 end with a rhyme.
  • Lines 3 and 4 end with a different rhyme.
  • The "rhythm" of the poem is such that it can be recited with a 3 - 3 - 2 - 2 - 3 beat.
Here a couple to start. (Say the second one with a British accent.)
Jane was planning her resignation
She came to this site asking "Inflation?"
"COLA's will shine"
"Stocks will be fine"
"Bonds are OK, but watch the duration"

Chained at his desk sits Harry
Stuck because retirement seems scary
There's plenty of treasure
He's ready for leisure
Dear wife is the one who is wary
Hopefully the mods won't have to intervene...
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No doubt a continuous prosperity, though spendthrift, is preferable to an economy thriftily moral, though lean. Nevertheless, that prosperity would seem more soundly shored if, by a saving grace, more of us had the grace to save.

Life Magazine editorial, 1956
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Old 07-05-2014, 02:18 PM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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If Htown Harry had his way
We'd all write limericks, come what may
He'd have us spend time
Coming up with rhyme
Giving ER's something to do all day
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Old 07-05-2014, 02:31 PM   #3
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How appropriate that you are the first to reply, REWahoo. One of your posts was my inspiration.

6 months in

Quote:
In my youth I dreamed of dating a girl from Forney named Kate.
I got this far with a reply, but decided that completing the poem might get me a special award from the moderators.

Wahoo sits retired in the hills
Reminiscing of Kate and her thrills...
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No doubt a continuous prosperity, though spendthrift, is preferable to an economy thriftily moral, though lean. Nevertheless, that prosperity would seem more soundly shored if, by a saving grace, more of us had the grace to save.

Life Magazine editorial, 1956
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Old 07-05-2014, 02:34 PM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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You might get away with it if you posted on the joke thread...
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Old 07-05-2014, 02:59 PM   #5
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There once was a girl from Forney
She made all the boys super ... o wait, the theme is ER.

Sorry.


ER Forum s a place to make friends
They help figure the means to our ends
Good advice they relay
Spending must be delayed
On that the SWR depends
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Old 07-05-2014, 03:24 PM   #6
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
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ERs shun the variable annuity
For income in perpetuity,
'Cause the costs and the fees
Bring strong men to their knees
And buyer's remorse isn't pretty.
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Old 07-05-2014, 03:26 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelB View Post
There once was a girl from Forney...
Now I feel safer.

The tart lived her ER down by the station
Two men kept her pleased, providing a life of elation
Mr. Stock was the young 'un
Mr. Bond was the slow one
The secret, she claimed...allocation
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No doubt a continuous prosperity, though spendthrift, is preferable to an economy thriftily moral, though lean. Nevertheless, that prosperity would seem more soundly shored if, by a saving grace, more of us had the grace to save.

Life Magazine editorial, 1956
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Old 07-05-2014, 04:08 PM   #8
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A frugal young man from Nantucket
Put all his wealth in a bucket
He said with a smile
As he built up his pile
I'm LBYM'ing to take this job and chuck it.




someone was going to try to get this rhyme in.....I thought I'd try it.
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Old 07-05-2014, 06:56 PM   #9
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In a forum for retirement wannabes,
And financially independent gonnabes,
Networth polls always question,
Do I count real estate or pension,
Social security, annuity, or none o' these?
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Old 07-05-2014, 06:58 PM   #10
Recycles dryer sheets
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Oh how I want to retire
My long term goal, to FIRE
I'm sick of my job,
Would rather sit like a blob
Any day now, my replacement they'll hire.
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Old 07-05-2014, 07:12 PM   #11
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She wasn't a poet, you see;
She just watched the markets, when free.
The Dow soared up higher
Her thoughts were of FIRE!
She couldn't help posting it, "Wheee!!!"
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Old 07-05-2014, 07:15 PM   #12
Full time employment: Posting here.
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To avoid being a wage slave
We all try to save save save
But the market can have other intent
And our money can soon be all spent
Still FIRE is what we all crave


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Old 07-05-2014, 07:15 PM   #13
Full time employment: Posting here.
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The quest for early retirement
Is hastened by miserly inspirement
They'll say you are crazy
Without work, fat and lazy
Proper vision is an important requirement
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How's it going to end..............
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Old 07-05-2014, 07:22 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Htown Harry View Post
Wahoo sits retired in the hills
Reminiscing of Kate and her thrills...
What he thinks about most,
Is those nights at the coast,
When she showed him her LBYM skills.
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Old 07-05-2014, 08:19 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Htown Harry View Post
Wahoo sits retired in the hills
Reminiscing of Kate and her thrills...
Recalling her financial gyrations,
And her asset allocations,
And wishing he'd been named in her will.

or

Oh she had the looks,
But when he saw her books,
All he found were some overdue bills.
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Old 07-05-2014, 08:35 PM   #16
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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OK, I'll take a shot at it:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Htown Harry View Post
Wahoo sits retired in the hills
Reminiscing of Kate and her thrills...
"My returns are first rate,"
said sweet Forney Kate,
"and Wellesley will pay all the bills!"
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Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
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ER limericks
Old 07-05-2014, 09:50 PM   #17
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ER limericks

Please tell me if I'm able to quit
With my work I don't give a spit
How can I not have enough
To do OMY mighty tough
I'll FIRE anyway cause I don't give a darn




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Old 07-05-2014, 10:53 PM   #18
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Shrink your house, that's the adage
Declutter it, too, get rid of the baggage
Track your receipts
Recycle those sheets
Then hope for RIF with a real nice package
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No doubt a continuous prosperity, though spendthrift, is preferable to an economy thriftily moral, though lean. Nevertheless, that prosperity would seem more soundly shored if, by a saving grace, more of us had the grace to save.

Life Magazine editorial, 1956
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Old 07-06-2014, 12:54 PM   #19
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There once was a young man named Myer
Who thought of his job with much ire
He learned from this site
Saving money alright
And now he is able to FIRE!
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Old 07-08-2014, 11:25 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
She wasn't a poet, you see;
She just watched the markets, when free.
The Dow soared up higher
Her thoughts were of FIRE!
She couldn't help posting it, "Wheee!!!"
She wasn't a poet, you see;
She just watched the markets, when free.
When the Dow soared higher
My thoughts became dire
Because I knew she couldn't help posting it, "Wheee!!!"
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