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Old 02-08-2011, 05:24 PM   #21
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They should turn his ife into a sitcom .
I thought they'd already done that...

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Old 02-08-2011, 05:28 PM   #22
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DW claims that I pulled a shotgun on her from under the bed while I was asleep but I don't remember it.
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Old 02-08-2011, 05:28 PM   #23
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I used to look quite a bit like old Basil, in fact two of my nieces used to call me "Uncle Basil". Fortunately DW is nothing like Mrs Fawlty.
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Old 02-08-2011, 05:57 PM   #24
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Why do I think Alan was driving this car....

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Old 02-08-2011, 05:59 PM   #25
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When the young wife and I were just dating, I went to her parents' house down at the Jersey Shore, where I met my future FIL for the first time. He was a friendly fellow and, knowing that I was a very recent Naval Academy grad, suggested that maybe I would like to take his daughter out alone in his sailboat.

As his daughter and I were fooling around out in Barnegat Bay, a squall came up. I failed to reef the sail quickly enough and we capsized. We were able to get upright again, but remained swamped. A passing motorboat towed us in, where the FIL and MIL-to-be met us at the dock.

As if capsizing his sailboat weren't bad enough, I had also lost my pants in the incident. I guess red-cheeked would be a more than adequate description.
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Old 02-08-2011, 07:54 PM   #26
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Nice one Gumby, great way to impress the girlfriend's parents

I think I embarassed DW a lot more than I actually injured her, and your story reminds me of a time we were visiting my folks a few years after we'd moved to the USA. The kids were about 8 & 10 and while we'd been away a new leisure center had been opened at the local town of Sunderland. It featured a big indoor pool, with smaller kiddie pools, and a wave machine, plus a long winding water chute.

We took the kids and my little sister and had a great time there one Saturday. To get to the water chute you climbed some stairs up to an area where there was a plunge pool and diving board, adults only. At ground level there were 2 big windows looking into the plunge pool so you see the divers as they dived under water. Our kids thought that was great so they persuaded me to go dive in while they watched. DW stayed with them while I went up top and dived in. I actually made too good of a dive entering the water vertically and immediately felt my swimming shorts get whisked down to my ankles

I quickly swam to the wall in between the 2 windows to avoid my embarassment and as I turned about face, pulling frantically at my shorts I realized that on the other side of the plunge pool was a big picture window opening into the busy shopping mall
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Old 02-09-2011, 08:16 AM   #27
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Incidents involving pants, or a lack thereof, appear to be a central theme in Alan's life.....

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Old 02-09-2011, 09:31 AM   #28
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Incidents involving pants, or a lack thereof, appear to be a central theme in Alan's life.....

1 Month Update
When I was a kid, we didn't have any pants...
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Old 02-09-2011, 09:45 AM   #29
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I think Alan has a book in him....we just need to encourage him to write it.
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Old 02-09-2011, 09:54 AM   #30
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I realized that on the other side of the plunge pool was a big picture window opening into the busy shopping mall
I had been camping, and I was visiting a friend, and changing clothes in a spare bedroom (including underwear). When I was done, I noticed that I hadn't closed the curtains, and there was a family across the street having dinner. They were all laughing and waving.
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Old 02-09-2011, 10:39 AM   #31
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First time I had dinner at my wife-to-be's house she "accidentally" dumped a whole plate of spaghetti in my lap. Married her anyway.
Might have been on purpose.........
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This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
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Old 02-09-2011, 11:36 AM   #32
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I had been camping, and I was visiting a friend, and changing clothes in a spare bedroom (including underwear). When I was done, I noticed that I hadn't closed the curtains, and there was a family across the street having dinner. They were all laughing and waving.


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Old 02-09-2011, 12:14 PM   #33
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No stories myself...but this should give you all some laughs (FF to 3:10 for the really good stuff).

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Old 02-09-2011, 12:31 PM   #34
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Most of my "ironing board" stories are on DW, not on me. First time MIL to be invited me over to Thanksgiving dinner, DW got up to get the TG bird for seconds. After picking up the bird, she turned and the whole bird went flying off the platter and bounced (twice) before coming to rest against one of the dining room chairs (occupied). It was a great story from then on - usually at TG dinner.

When we were children (literally about 11 or 12) DW to be and I were walking home from school and passed under an overpass (street above). DW to be thought the echos in the enclosure were interesting and somehow got the idea to throw a rock against the concrete wall to see how it would bounce. As the rock rebounded, I got out of its way and the rock hit her in the tooth. The small chip is still there today if you know where to look.

Was helping DW reattach a TV cable to the side of the house after we completed some painting. I was holding the cable and she was wielding the staple gun (one of those where you pull the handle and the staple shoots out). Yep, she drove a 9/16" staple right through her thumb! Interesting to explain at the emergency clinic.

I'm sure if I thought for a few minutes, I could think of some more. Guess that's the advantage of knowing your spouse since 2nd grade. You have lots of stories to tell by the time you're ER'd.

Oh, just one more. DW to be, while we were dating, thought it would be great fun to go bike riding together. I got rid of my bike the day I got my driving license, so she let me ride one that had been sitting in her mom/dad's garage for a "few" years. It was even a boy's bike! SO first, she cut me off turning a corner, causing me to crash (into the grass, fortunately). Then she thought it would be great fun to fly down a small steep hill of a neighbor's driveway. I got to the bottom, hit the brakes and - nothing - the coaster brake turned backwards, sort of 'free-wheeling'. Fortunately, there was no traffic on the street, but there was a mean curb at the other side - which I hit dead on. I can still feel the groin pain when I tell this story. I think that was our last bike ride together (about 45 years ago).
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Old 02-09-2011, 01:12 PM   #35
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I'm sure that I've never done any of this stuff to my spouse, but my memory isn't the one that counts...
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Old 02-09-2011, 01:13 PM   #36
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I had been camping, and I was visiting a friend, and changing clothes in a spare bedroom (including underwear). When I was done, I noticed that I hadn't closed the curtains, and there was a family across the street having dinner. They were all laughing and waving.
Mr Bean can give you a lesson on how to change in public.

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Old 02-09-2011, 05:59 PM   #37
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Wow. I have no experiences along these lines. Women are safe with me.

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