Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 12-27-2007, 09:27 AM   #41
Recycles dryer sheets
gandalf42's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Fort Collins, CO
Posts: 138
You've gotten a wide range of responses which probably reflects people's experiences with their workplaces.

I have worked in both small companies and at a Megacorp. I would not raise any issues at a small company as in my experience there is no consistent HR policy, it is personally driven by the manager(s).

At the megacorp I worked at, your three issues play out this way.

The crass comments at the funeral occurred offsite at a non-company event. They are viewed as an issue between people and not a work related issue.

The discussions about religion sound to have been done one on one. In this case nothing is provable. Best case HR would review policy with the manager and worst case do nothing.

The public grabbing and negative joking had witnesses and occurred more than once. This would be taken very seriously, investigated and if corroborated, the HR would have a "little talk" with the manager and put a warning note in his file. If a similar incident occurred again, he would be in significant danger of demotion or being fired.

These are my experiences of how megacorp HR has handled issues with folks that worked for me. So my advice is let go the first two, as nothing much would happen, but report the third.
__________________

__________________
"Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time."

"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis” Margaret Bonnano
gandalf42 is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 12-27-2007, 10:01 AM   #42
Full time employment: Posting here.
tightasadrum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: athens
Posts: 802
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawg52 View Post
I would simply shove a fist down the sob's throat on the way out the door.
This was my first impulse too.

But, better yet, as SteveR put it: "If you really want some action...compose a very well written letter with your story and send it to the CEO, COO, President of HR, Division Pres., and your local HR person. That works wonders. "

It all depends on the company you're dealing with. Where I worked for years if someone had done this, supervisor would have had a one-on-two conversation with the HR manager and the Operations Manager, and a note about the incident placed in their personnel file, just in case something came up again. The EEOC can take up a lot of HR's time.

Supervisor:IQ > 100, emotional intelligence < 10. It will take at least a 2x4 upside-the-head to realign the latter one. Put it in writing. Make it sound like you have a concern for supervisor's future welfare, employee morale and the company's turnover/financial welfare. I wouldn't get into it in an exit interview though. Simply pass the sealed envelope across the desk as you stand up the leave. "You'll find everything you need to know in this." Show a cc: to corporate HR and mail that one. If there is any hope for action, this should do it.

Good luck with the what comes next whatever you decide to do.
__________________

__________________
Can't you see yourself in the nursing home saying, " Darn! Wish I'd spent more time at the office instead of wasting time with family and friends."
tightasadrum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 10:03 AM   #43
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,014
Your boss' behaviour was completely unacceptable. Chances are he also intimidates others. I would definitely bring this up.

In my experience, behaviour problems like this are often well known to management and your report may be the icing on the cake that they need to exert progressive disciplinary action. If it is a longstanding problem and you are the first to report it, that says a lot about the culture of your organization: don't ask, don't tell.

I hope you enjoy your retirement.
__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 10:56 AM   #44
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,014
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha View Post
Zipper, discrimination based on religion is illegal in the United States. The OP should not be made to feel like he is a "nutjob" for his beliefs.
It's illegal in Canada too.
__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 11:02 AM   #45
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by Notmuchlonger View Post
Im not sure if I would let anyone grab my stomach without grabbing them by the throat. Anyways in a workplace that is a real big no no that he did that. Ive never seen that go on in my line of work without some kind of violence or repercussions.

I guess the topic of hand is what you would do on the interview. Give them a big screw you and nice knowing you I guess.
It happened to me once, and my boss was surprised to find himself on the floor a few seconds later. Then I went to my office to pack up my desk and leave,thinking for sure I was fired. But he didn't fire me, and we got along after that...........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 12:15 PM   #46
Recycles dryer sheets
template's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redbugdave View Post
...The purpose of HR is not for you...but to help and support management. ..
Now, what is the purpose of an exit interview, if not for uncovering problems contributing to attrition and which require attention?
__________________
Retired in 2001 at age 49.
template is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 12:33 PM   #47
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 398
Your boss isn't simply a jerk. His actions likely are illegal. Religion, for example, is a protected classification. Depending on the state, if you report your boss's behavior to HR or to a person with supervisory responsibility, they have a legal obligation to take action. In California, for example, all managers/supervisors within companies over a certain size are required to take extensive biannual harassment training. At megacorp, there will be an individual responsible for handling harassment issues. Also, depending on the state and the circumstances, an investigation may occur without your name being mentioned.

I don't know why you believe that your boss's actions are less problematic since you are a man, not a woman (you're neither more or less able to handle abuse as a man). I think the opposite is true, in that you are more likely to be ignored as a man.

That said, and while you need to decide what is best for you, if it were me, I would not let it go. The actions of your boss are inappropriate for the workplace. They go well beyond poor interpersonal skills. Your boss will continue to mistreat other employees. Any action you take is more likely to help your coworkers. At the very least, either at your exit interview or before, you could query HR to determine what would happen if you voice your concerns. You could then determine how to proceed.

If you do decide to go forward, expressing the situation/events in a calm and factual way will have the most impact. You may want to practice your thoughts beforehand. Mention that the behavior of your boss is responsible, at least in part, for your earlier retirement.
__________________
Shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 02:12 PM   #48
Dryer sheet wannabe
bryanf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10
Exit interviews are designed to benefit the company, not you. My inclination would be to exit gracefully and quietly. What do you have to gain by providing information? And what do you have to lose? Can you be certain that your input would remain confidential? Doubtful.
__________________
bryanf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 02:26 PM   #49
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
SecondCor521's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boise
Posts: 2,398
My ex and I lost a child at 8 months gestation in 1997, and then a miscarriage followed in 1998. We divorced last year, and while there were many factors that contributed, losing those children -- and how we handled, or rather didn't handle it -- clearly didn't help.

Your wife and your relationship with her are a billion times more important than your stupid boss or your exit interview. Cherish her. Care for her. Make sure...make very sure...make absolutely sure...and then be 1000% sure again that you both have what you need to heal from your loss and not let it split you apart. Don't become me.

You have my condolences on your loss and on your idiot boss.

2Cor521
__________________
"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough, and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact be the first steps of a journey." Violet Baudelaire.
SecondCor521 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 02:36 PM   #50
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Los Angeles area
Posts: 1,432
Quote:
Originally Posted by bryanf View Post
Exit interviews are designed to benefit the company, not you. My inclination would be to exit gracefully and quietly. What to you have to gain by providing information? And what do you have to lose? Can you be certain that your input would remain confidential? Doubtful.
I agree completely. I had a few minor issues (nothing like yours) I could have spoken up about,
but that was a celebratory day for me. By the time I was in the interview, I was mentally already
out the door,retired, and had no interest in anything going on behind me.
__________________
learn, work, save, invest, fire
CyclingInvestor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 02:37 PM   #51
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
One last note of importance on the item above. Wen my DW and I lost our daughter two years ago my Boss came to visitation and made a point to wait until several people where gathered around my wife to make the statement that it was natures way of dealing with the situation and was not really a loss

The above quote is further proof that some folks have no business managing others, as they can't manage themselves. It is sad that "little man's syndrome" had to strike at a visitation..........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 02:45 PM   #52
Moderator Emeritus
Rich_by_the_Bay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 8,827
If accusations are made during an exit interview which become known byothers, and if those accusations are considered to be slanderous or libelous (if written out), and if they can't be proven (he said-she said), could that result in legal exposure for the complainant? Are such statements protected legally?

That would not be a very nice start to retirement. Even if the action was frivolous and had no credible basis, a suit could still be brought, I imagine.

I'd let it go. Enter retirement with a smile, not scorn. If these issues continue digging at you emotionally, seek counselling. That said, you surely have my sympathy for all these circumstances. I am very happy for you that you are starting a new chapter in your life. I bet it works out great.
__________________
Rich
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
Rich_by_the_Bay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 02:48 PM   #53
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Willamette Valley, Oregon
Posts: 831
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa View Post
Use the exit interview as catharsis and psychotherapy? If it's that deep and troubling, then real counselling with someone other than an HR functionary (quite possibly someone 20 years his junior) might be a better choice.
You seem think it wiser for him to ignore this particular "wrong" and leave it unchallenged, and he has no responsibility to do so, and he will be happy with himself later for ignoring it? He should not act in accord with his own belief system?

I am not suggesting he will go off the deep end if he choses to ignore the situation. But he did ask for advice, and given that, I think it important enough *to him* to do his part to speak up about the "wrongs" in the appropriate setting provided.

In short, I am just advising him to act in accord with (what I ken to be) his own value system. You can dramaqueen that advice with your terms like pyschotherapy and cathartic, but it is simply telling him to go with his own gut.
__________________
Dreams Worth Dreaming are Dreams Worth Planning For. I Spent a Career Planning for Early Retirement.
RetireeRobert is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 02:51 PM   #54
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 13,251
Let me give one that I had...

I had hired a temp while in the UK.... this is not like the US as they can hold a 'real' position and work for a year or more..

I went on vacation and came back two weeks later. I was told by one of my employees that he was harassing her. Not anything major, but just 'creepy'. I told her thanks, I did not know and would review the situation. I asked a few others around the office and got only spotty information, nothing to act upon.

Well, the next day he did something 'wrong'. My employee told me about it. I had the guy out of the office in 15 minutes. (I did pay him for the full day and the next).

Sometimes the boss actually does not know unless someone tells him. I would never have known without my employee speaking up. Maybe over a few more weeks or months I would have seen something, but since I did not deal with him every day maybe not.

So, tell the HR person and leave it at that. They might not know.
__________________
Texas Proud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 03:20 PM   #55
Moderator Emeritus
Martha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: minnesota
Posts: 13,212
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa View Post
If accusations are made during an exit interview which become known byothers, and if those accusations are considered to be slanderous or libelous (if written out), and if they can't be proven (he said-she said), could that result in legal exposure for the complainant? Are such statements protected legally?

That would not be a very nice start to retirement. Even if the action was frivolous and had no credible basis, a suit could still be brought, I imagine.
Some states have protection, but most probably don't. The risk of a suit is probably quite small. Where is the deep pocket? What is the damages?

Dramaqueen? RetireeRobert has got to be kidding.
__________________
.


No more lawyer stuff, no more political stuff, so no more CYA

Martha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 03:33 PM   #56
Moderator Emeritus
Rich_by_the_Bay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 8,827
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martha View Post
Some states have protection, but most probably don't. The risk of a suit is probably quite small. Where is the deep pocket? What is the damages?

Dramaqueen? RetireeRobert has got to be kidding.
True, it does seem unlikely.

But say the wacko boss fails to get a promotion or is terminated, then blames it on "untrue" claims made by a "disgruntled" recent employee, with "unfounded claims of unwelcomed physicial contact, "loss of reputation," etc. As you say, the only deep pocket might be the OP's, along with his umbrella policy (if they even cover such things). Maybe the employer for failing to properly investigate or hold the information confidential?

I guess I've just heard too many stories of frivolous law suits (which are quite infrequent in my profession these days). Remember, just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you .
__________________
Rich
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
Rich_by_the_Bay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 03:42 PM   #57
Moderator Emeritus
Martha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: minnesota
Posts: 13,212
I wouldn't lose sleep over it Rich. (The deep pocket would be the employer.)

One thing that may dissuade people from bringing frivolous libel suits is that there own acts, statements and character are at issue.
__________________
.


No more lawyer stuff, no more political stuff, so no more CYA

Martha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 03:48 PM   #58
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,072
I understand both sides, however, if the behavior by your boss was repeated recently, then I would report it. Noone has a right to touch you without your permission. Additionally, noone has the right to impugn your religious beliefs. You weren't proselytizing - he was. I'm with Martha - report it. Based on your first sentence, if I were in the leadership of this organization, I'd like to know why I've gone form 0 turnover to 6 in one year. Metrics, metrics - someone shouls be looking at this.
__________________
Deserat aka Bridget
“We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.” - George Orwell/Winston Churchill
deserat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 04:47 PM   #59
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
RunningBum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redbugdave View Post
Fisherman...

I would just do the exit interview with a smile on my face, and not say anything about the beast. Just let it go. You are at a new beginning in life! The purpose of HR is not for you...but to help and support management. If anything was going to be done, it would have been a long time ago.
And as the next three people get harrassed enough to leave, they'll have the same thought and nothing will ever get done with this attitude. Management/HR will look for a pattern. If almost no one complains, it will not be viewed as a problem. If most people make a statement, it will. The OP has a chance to be part of doing the right thing.

Stick to facts, and events directly related to work. The insensitive remake after your daughter's passing was awful but does not apply. The others clearly do.

Your statement alone won't fire anyone, but collectively maybe others will be protected from this guy.

I see no way of a lawsuit coming against the OP. Others probably have other private issues like the prayer discussion as well as the public issues with the grabbing. The boss won't file a suit he can't possibly win, and bringing the mud out in public will ruin his career. The only way this happens is if the OP is not telling the story accurately in any way.

Good luck and congrats!
__________________
RunningBum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-2007, 04:52 PM   #60
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,971
I strongly believe in confronting the accused first before going to HR or his boss. Maybe he doesn't know he's out of line. If you've already told him you felt it was offensive and he continued anyway then I would not hesitate to file a formal complaint. Take it as far as you need to. That kind of physical harrassment can't be tolerated. If you let him get away with it then he'll do it to someone else.
__________________

__________________
aaronc879 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Do you have a Stock Market Exit Strategy? chinaco FIRE and Money 25 05-21-2007 02:26 PM
Adjusting Fire Calc for a mid year exit USK Coastie FIRE and Money 1 02-02-2007 11:26 AM
I have an interview... cube_rat Young Dreamers 22 10-06-2005 04:19 PM
Exit Strategy brewer12345 Young Dreamers 12 03-15-2005 06:56 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:42 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.