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Old 07-26-2009, 08:03 PM   #41
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And I guess this goes to the heart of it for me....my siblings have not been there for me in the past & there's no reason to believe they would do any differently in the future. I have given as much as most - and more than some - but finally realized I was wasting my time trying to create relationships that would never materialize. I've analyzed it from one side to another - perhaps it's the result of being an intelligent female growing up in Appalachia who chose to leave the small town (my siblings and extended family live on a hill within a mile of each other) or maybe as others have said my parents took the wrong baby home from the hospital. I've been told that I have too many degrees & my spouse uses big words. At this point it really doesn't matter. I've apologized for every real, perceived and imaginary insult. I refuse to apologize for being me.

In the end I decided to follow the advice of Rhett Butler, "The world is full of many things and many people. And I shan't be lonely" I have a life full of people who enjoy my company, share my laughter and provide support when needed. My friends are the ones who show up when there are sorrows to bear or success to celebrate. I have a very full life - it just doesn't include many family members.
And why should it?
Good for you.
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Old 07-26-2009, 08:09 PM   #42
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Being related is a biological distinction...

Family doesn't mix with politics or religion...

Einstein's Theory of Relativity states that time slows down when you're with relatives...

"Your parents are people, and that's all they can be..."
Loudin Wainwright III
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Old 07-26-2009, 08:10 PM   #43
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redmclain, it's sad that your family doesn't appreciate your achievements, but they don't deserve you.
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Old 07-26-2009, 08:17 PM   #44
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NO! NO!
If she changes, that wouldn't be the bbbamI that we know, would it?

Well, I've always been a sucker softy when a man gives me flowers....

I'm part of this FIRE community, I guess I'll be here for a while...just consider me the crazy relative that should be kept in the attic!
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Old 07-26-2009, 10:10 PM   #45
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Family communications, 1970 phone call:

Father's sister: "Our brother needs $800 (to get out of jail).

Father: Too bad, I'm going to Florida for 2 weeks.
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Old 07-26-2009, 11:58 PM   #46
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Well, I've always been a sucker softy when a man gives me flowers....

I'm part of this FIRE community, I guess I'll be here for a while...just consider me the crazy relative that should be kept in the attic!
In the attic? You make the party lively!

Please have some more flowers. Stingy as I am, I still don't care how much ER Forum will charge me for delivery.
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Old 07-27-2009, 12:35 AM   #47
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Weird to me is not necessarily funny, but yeah...I imagine I could handle a rant or two....
Reminds me of Cube_Rat's "God Warrior"...
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Old 07-27-2009, 08:02 AM   #48
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To quote my former secretary:

"My family puts the FUN in dysFUNctional".

That's great! I'll quote it at the next family gathering.

This thread reminds me of something I noticed when I was in patrol division. I noticed that there were a lot more family fight calls in the period right around Christmas, then figured it out.

Many if not most of those people didn't like each other, but felt compelled to get together for the holidays. Then they'd remember why they hadn't seen each other since last Christmas....
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Old 07-27-2009, 09:54 AM   #49
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I grew up believing dysfunction was specific to my family. Life and marriage have taught me otherwise. Now I feel that there are no “normal” families outside of hollywood, just families with differing levels of dysfunctionality.

Family get-togethers are something I look forward to. Makes all the other parts of my life seem absolutely fantastic and my own kids almost normal.
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Old 07-27-2009, 10:03 AM   #50
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People seem to be a lot more open today about their families' more serious dysfunctions (substance abuse, emotional, etc.) and also to stay away from dysfunctional, both of which to me are quite healthy. I grew up with people whose way to feel better about themselves (I guess) was simply to tear others down, including other family members, neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances, strangers on the street. Fortunately, circumstances arose that meant we never had to expose our kids to them, ever.
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Old 07-28-2009, 01:05 PM   #51
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98% of the families are dysfunctional. The other 2% are kidding themselves.
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Old 07-28-2009, 03:09 PM   #52
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This might be a good time to review "powers of attorneys for medical care." Who has a say so when I & spouse/SO are unconscious?
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Old 07-28-2009, 04:19 PM   #53
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We must all be above average here on the FIRE board. We're OK, but the rest of the family is nuts....... !!
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Old 07-28-2009, 04:49 PM   #54
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I think my brother is in the don't want to deal with family category...

The rest of us are a nice family that all care about each other... we wonder about him.. as an example... we have always gotten together as a family for Christmas eve... a couple of years ago, my sister called my bother to see where he wanted to stay (he stays with different people.. and it always was his choice of where to stay).... His comment 'you did not give me enough notice'... My sister said 'Christmas hasn't moved, how much notice do you need?'....

My mother is the only person who has any regular contact with him. Once she goes, we will probably never hear from him except for any inheritance he might get...
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Old 07-28-2009, 05:20 PM   #55
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This might be a good time to review "powers of attorneys for medical care." Who has a say so when I & spouse/SO are unconscious?
You got that right.
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Old 07-28-2009, 05:39 PM   #56
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My family is dysfuntional in a fun way . My Mother is 93 and has recently taken to saying whatever is on her mind . It's sometimes funny , sometimes shocking . My younger sister is a nun who is not super religious . My older sister thinks she is the boss of the family and better than the rest of us . My daughter and her husband are health nuts and my niece is a bohemian chick who makes purses .My So and his family are staunch conservatives who can not understand my liberal ways . Amazingly we still all like each other and enjoy each other despite the weirdness.
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Old 07-28-2009, 06:24 PM   #57
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I always thought I had a weird family. Your guys just proved me wrong. Damn, my family seems normal compared to yours. Why does everyone always shatter my illusions?
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Old 07-28-2009, 06:28 PM   #58
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Anyone else not communicated with family for several years, then done so and remembered why not?
I'm in the school of "Enough is enough" when it comes to people I share DNA with. I have learned over the years that a DNA connection is not sufficient grounds to put up with truly bad behavior from relatives. Same goes for in-laws.
I am blessed with many adopted relatives, of all ages, who truly enrich my life. These are my family because they treat me like their own and vice-versa. I am an adopted older or younger sister to many of my guy friends who have no sisters or have really terrible ones. It w*rks out all the way around.
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Old 07-28-2009, 07:00 PM   #59
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We must all be above average here on the FIRE board. We're OK, but the rest of the family is nuts....... !!
Yes, just like Lake Wobegon!

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Old 07-28-2009, 07:01 PM   #60
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My family is dysfuntional in a fun way . My Mother is 93 and has recently taken to saying whatever is on her mind . It's sometimes funny , sometimes shocking . My younger sister is a nun who is not super religious . My older sister thinks she is the boss of the family and better than the rest of us . My daughter and her husband are health nuts and my niece is a bohemian chick who makes purses .My So and his family are staunch conservatives who can not understand my liberal ways . Amazingly we still all like each other and enjoy each other despite the weirdness.
I think you've got a good sitcom script there, Moe!
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