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Favorite FIRE One-Liners
Old 11-29-2008, 01:14 PM   #1
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Favorite FIRE One-Liners

yet another silly but hopefully fun thread...

what are you favorite FIRE sayings, and how long are you FIREd?
Full permission to borrow my one-liners is granted if I can borrow some of yours.

"I don't want to and I don't have to"

"I'm FIREd and i'm too lazy to...[fill in the blank]"

"I've resigned myself to being FIREd."
[literally, i resigned using FERS MRA+10 deferred retirement rules]

FIRE date: April 2007
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Old 11-29-2008, 01:25 PM   #2
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I was unemployed until my brain decided I was ER'd. 1993.

heh heh heh - All praise to cheap bastardhood and the no. 2 pencil which I used to calculate my FI.
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Old 11-29-2008, 01:39 PM   #3
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I am FIREd and do whatever I want!

I don't know how I had time to work. (This is really true. We are watching our almost 5 month old granddaughter and I asked my DH how did we ever work and rear 2 children. I was off work for 6 weeks for my DS and 3 mos for my DD and worked full-time. I truly can't remember how we managed to do everything that needed to get done.)
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Old 11-29-2008, 01:53 PM   #4
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Three variations on the same theme:
1. I don't have to do that any more.
2. Nope: don't wanna.
3. I'm doing it because I want to do it, not because I have to.

Enjoy your day at w*rk (snicker...).

Well now, what are we going to do this fine day?

Sure, I've got time for another cup...

FIRE'd since 2001
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Old 11-29-2008, 02:52 PM   #5
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"I'd rather sell a kidney than go back to work."

"Because I don't have to."

"Work is selling your time to get money to buy stuff; I have bought back my time."
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Old 11-29-2008, 03:06 PM   #6
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1. But-- but-- but what will you DO all day?!?

2. Early retirement is my avocation!

3. Thank God it's Monday!

4. Life is good.

5. I'm retired Navy. Submarines.

6. On very quiet days spouse and I will exchange comments like "Settle down and try to pace yourself", "Oh, the stress", or "Are you feeling bored & unfulfilled yet?" We're as yet unable to share these with neighbors, relatives, or shipmates.

June 2002.
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Old 11-29-2008, 03:09 PM   #7
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Good idea - how about:

This retirement stuff isn't easy - I don't get any holidays or vacation time.
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Old 11-29-2008, 03:29 PM   #8
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I've finally found something that I'm good at.
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Old 11-29-2008, 03:45 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
I don't know how I had time to work.
That's my #1 favorite!

Plus:

I'm just a poor old retired guy, on a fixed income......and it's fixed things so well that I'll never have to work again!
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Old 11-29-2008, 05:23 PM   #10
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"Oh, I guess I can figure out something to do with my time."

FIRE'd 1998...
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Old 11-29-2008, 05:27 PM   #11
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I'm retired so why do I still have to do housework ?
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Old 11-29-2008, 05:32 PM   #12
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The young ladies who cut my hair. Whadddaaaya do all day. Still my favorite line. Its fun being creative with them in what I do
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Old 11-29-2008, 06:20 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Notmuchlonger View Post
The young ladies who cut my hair. Whadddaaaya do all day. Still my favorite line. Its fun being creative with them in what I do
I bet they enjoy every story!
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Old 11-29-2008, 06:31 PM   #14
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I bet they enjoy every story!
At least I get amusement out of it
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Old 11-29-2008, 09:11 PM   #15
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"Before you can cross the bridge, you must pay the toll"
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Old 11-29-2008, 09:37 PM   #16
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--if the other person is an a***ole
them: so what do you do for a living ?
me: I retired from programming a couple years ago
them: aren't you too young to be retired ?
me: no one is too young to retire, only too poor

--otherwise
last line changes to -
me: no, I learned to spend less than I made, and to invest. not really that difficult.
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Old 11-30-2008, 12:39 AM   #17
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Seen on a tee shirt: Retired. This is as dressed up as I get.

Another tee shirt: Retired. Know everything, and have all day to tell it to you.
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Old 11-30-2008, 01:15 PM   #18
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Why the hell did I spend so much money during my w**king years on neckties? Damn, I have a s**tload of them in the closet.
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Old 11-30-2008, 06:49 PM   #19
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Comment: "You're too young to be retired."

Answer: "Hmm, they never told me there was an age requirement."
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Old 12-01-2008, 12:13 AM   #20
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I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.

Got this one from Calvin and Hobbes many years ago:

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
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