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Fear of failure?
Old 10-29-2015, 07:10 PM   #1
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Fear of failure?

I've been on vacation for a couple of weeks now and I've been thinking about how my motivation has waned lately and I think it is because my father passed away a few months ago. Along with all the normal feelings of loss I don't have him watching my successes or failures anymore. He had Alzheimer's disease so I know the details of my life were beyond him, but he was still interested (even if I had to tell him again and again) up until the end. It seems odd to have that feeling that I wanted my dad to see me as a success even after I had passed the half century mark.
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Old 10-29-2015, 07:26 PM   #2
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I'm sorry for your loss. I think it's natural to want our loved ones, whether family or friends, to be proud of us and share our accomplishments.
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Old 10-29-2015, 07:34 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Olbidness View Post
I've been on vacation for a couple of weeks now and I've been thinking about how my motivation has waned lately and I think it is because my father passed away a few months ago. Along with all the normal feelings of loss I don't have him watching my successes or failures anymore. He had Alzheimer's disease so I know the details of my life were beyond him, but he was still interested (even if I had to tell him again and again) up until the end. It seems odd to have that feeling that I wanted my dad to see me as a success even after I had passed the half century mark.
My condolences on the passing of your father.

Probably you are still working your way through the grieving process. It's totally normal for you to want your father to have seen you as a success.

Things will get better but sometimes it takes longer than we think to move on after a parent passes away.
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Old 10-29-2015, 07:35 PM   #4
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I'm sorry for your loss. I think it's natural to want our loved ones, whether family or friends, to be proud of us and share our accomplishments.
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Old 10-29-2015, 07:40 PM   #5
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Olbidness, I am very sorry for your loss. My Dad has been dead for 17 years, yet I still think of him every day.

Ha
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Old 10-29-2015, 07:53 PM   #6
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So sorry to hear to hear about your dad.
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Old 10-30-2015, 04:38 AM   #7
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Perfectly normal feeling.
When I was driving my father to the hospital shortly before he died, he turned and paid me the only compliment I ever got from him in my life. That was 19 years ago and I still smile with pleasure when I think of it.

Eventually you'll get to that point and just remember the good parts of your experience with him.
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Old 10-30-2015, 04:56 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Olbidness View Post
I've been on vacation for a couple of weeks now and I've been thinking about how my motivation has waned lately and I think it is because my father passed away a few months ago. Along with all the normal feelings of loss I don't have him watching my successes or failures anymore. He had Alzheimer's disease so I know the details of my life were beyond him, but he was still interested (even if I had to tell him again and again) up until the end. It seems odd to have that feeling that I wanted my dad to see me as a success even after I had passed the half century mark.
My father passed from complications related to dementia as well. That was 11 years ago this December. I miss him and think about him nearly every day when something reminds me of him. My father was my best friend. He was the first person I would want to share my success and joy with. He was the first person whose counsel I would seek when I was feeling concern or anxiety. There is no replacing that relationship, my world changed. Perhaps it affected my motivation but it maybe more affected by just growing older, I am 58 and more tired of the rat race. The one thing I know for sure, if he could send me a message, he would tell me to enjoy life, enjoy time with friends while I have both my life and health to do it with. I am sorry for your loss, and I can relate to how you feel.
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Old 10-30-2015, 09:26 AM   #9
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I am very sorry for your loss. My dad died when I was 22, he was 57. He owned a deli and worked 7 days a week like an animal. I had been married about 15 months and had just brought home my son. I take some comfort in thinking he might see my sucess, I also pray to him thru the last 30 plus years to help me when times got rough. This is the reason I retired early, he never got one day of retirement. Honor your father by representing your family name in the best possible light.
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Old 10-30-2015, 09:27 AM   #10
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I've been on vacation for a couple of weeks now and I've been thinking about how my motivation has waned lately and I think it is because my father passed away a few months ago.
Losing a parent is one of life's worst moments, and I would suspect it's a turning point in many of our lives where we step back and evaluate where we're going and what's really important. I know that's exactly what I went through several years ago, and I believe it was a major factor in my decision to retire from full-time employment.
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