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Old 07-11-2010, 09:15 PM   #21
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Sometimes I wish I was one of those people you read about who go back to school get a degree in law or something and help poor people. However, I don't have the attention span or attention for detail anymore. (I never was a very good student and corp life took the patience in me.)

Some things I've thought about in the past for while I was home was a teacher's aid. And if I really wanted a commitment, something I played with in my mind was the Peace Corps - doing what, where, I have no idea.

For those who think I would somehow be better off working; I can tell you I had similar feeling when working also, just different circumstances.
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Old 07-11-2010, 09:45 PM   #22
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Dex, I hope you work through this. I'm thinking of you on that mountain top - reaching for the sky - sun in your eyes - wind on your face...
Thanks, I some ways being so 'up' might be making this lull feel 'lower' - withdrawl from all those endorphins.
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Old 07-11-2010, 09:47 PM   #23
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I've been feeling down lately. I'm not sure of the cause; it could be that I'm at home and not in my RV currently. But is it that or is it the the inputs?

Are there more negative posts with subjects on
Recessions/Depressions/Business Financial Problems/Gov't Dept
The Frugal Lifestyle
Are there more thread jackings and off hand comments?

Talk radio - AM talk radio - negative on everything. NPR really gets me. They do so many stories profiling people with problems - with first person accounts - searching for a job, living on unemployment ins., college or high school students can't find jobs, out of work bankers who used to make a lot of money but now have nothing, teenagers with some problem.

General news - always a crisis, if nothing is new repeat the old
Gulf Oil spill, Republicans against everything, global warming (going green stories similar in my mind), more bad economic stories and profiles.

Anyone else feeling this way?
I turn most of it off, Dex. In fact, the most depressing stuff I get exposed to is from this forum! Fortunately there is also a lot of positive stuff on this forum to balance it. Overall, the whole concept of this forum is very positive and affirms taking charge on one's life/pursuit of happiness.

The rest of it - well all that media - TV or radio - is in the business of making you worry or angry so you'll stay tuned in so you can be "informed". But it's not really that informative or even relevant, is it?

I have lots of things going on in my own life. I can turn the outside world off and go about my business.

Well - I do have to pay attention to the tropical weather forecasts......

Audrey

P.S. Time to go RVing Dex!!!
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Old 07-11-2010, 10:15 PM   #24
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I also found one of the self-help books for dealing with depression to be of some use. I can't remember the exact name of the book, but the author's name is Dr. David Burns, and the name of the book is something like "Cognitive Therapy", or that may be a subtitle under the main name.
The Dr. Burns stuff is really good. He teaches you how to recognize "cognitive distortions" (ways of thinking) that can lead to feeling down. These thinking patterns may seem perfectly logical on the surface, but if you dig down you find they are really distortions. Pretty straightforward stuff - no "motivation speeches" or any of that stuff. Just explanations of why it is not helpful or useful to get caught in these distortions.

Here is a list. His books - "Feeling Good" I think is one of them - go into details and give exercises that help you recognize and think your way out of your own personal distortions. Cognitive Distortions

This stuff should resonate with the "T" types (of all the INTJs on the board).

Audrey
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Old 07-11-2010, 10:17 PM   #25
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Dex, if my pessimistic posts contributed to this, then I'm really sorry.

Purron, I hope you'll be purring again soon! Your cats are lucky to have someone like you!

This is an endorphin-inducing activity, definitely recommended:



Have a standing cat:



Smile, you guys/gals are retired, you're the lucky ones!
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Old 07-11-2010, 10:26 PM   #26
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Nope.
Me either. Of course I take med's.
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Old 07-11-2010, 10:29 PM   #27
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T

Here is a list. His books - "Feeling Good" I think is one of them - go into details and give exercises that help you recognize and think your way out of your own personal distortions. Cognitive Distortions

This stuff should resonate with the "T" types (of all the INTJs on the board).

Audrey
Thank you for that. I gave the site a quick look and it looks helpful. I'll check it out more tomorrow - I'm going to sleep.
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Old 07-12-2010, 06:42 AM   #28
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General news - always a crisis, if nothing is new repeat the old Gulf Oil spill, Republicans against everything, global warming (going green stories similar in my mind), more bad economic stories and profiles.

Anyone else feeling this way?
No, there will always be that going on somewhere. But it's not going on here. And regardless of what I do or how I feel about it those events will continue to happen.

Sure, the national economy is in a shambles, the oil spill may or may not be fixed, and sure as today's sunrise, today somebody is going to die in a car accident, or learn they have a fatal disease.

But there is absolutely nothing I can do about those things. And the world will continue to spin anyway.

So today I'm going for a motorcycle ride to get some bananas and apples and enjoy the nice weather before the rain starts this afternoon.
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Old 07-12-2010, 06:58 AM   #29
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Dex, I find that limiting my media exposure is a great help. Turn off the "news" and ignore the lunatic alarmists. They will always be there.

There could be physical stuff going on. I was amazed at how much better and upbeat I felt this past winter when I started taking vit D supplements. I must have been horribly deficient.

Maybe its just that you need a change of pace or a new challenge. Is there a place you have always wanted to go, a hobby you have neglected, or something else out of your normal routine that might appeal? Would something with a goal help?
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Old 07-12-2010, 07:25 AM   #30
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Sorry to hear you are feeling down. I'm and up and down kind of dude myself, and this is what I try to do if I get feeling low.

1. Quit reading negative posts about the economy/state of the world/whatever. Just hedge your economic bets as good as possible and then go live and play.
2. Turn off the news channels and talk radio. Turn off CNBC for sure!
3. Get some exercise! When I start feeling like I'm in a rut or get feeling anxious it's usually when I'm off my exercising routine (or when there is no surf ). Sweat is good.
5. Plan an interesting trip so you can remember how beautiful the world is.
6. Hang around positive people. It's amazing how many people have a perpetual negative attitude, and they can be a drag to hang around, so don't!
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Old 07-12-2010, 07:42 AM   #31
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Anyone else feeling this way?
I'm not, but my DW did mention the same thing a few days ago.

For her, it's a combination of the "world situation", along with realizing that she is getting older.

Part of it is I'm sure tied to the 7x24 "news" available not only via radio/TV, but also the net. While these problems (in some form) always were there, we did not get "pounded" day after day with the "in your face" reporting.

It also is apparent that you can't get away from the situation (unless you want to turn off all access). We just returned from a Baltic cruise. One of the days we were in St. Pete's (Russia), you had Maria Bartiromo reporting from the same city we were in during an economic forum being held. It seems there is no place you can't get away from the news.

The second thing is that she is more aware of her "closeness to the end", just in everyday functions. She now get's a senior discount at Kohl's, along with most local restaurants.

I guess I don't have that problem since as former military (and served in Nam) I look at every day as a gift.

Life is not easy (never has been). The best you can do is make the best of it, and seek out a bit of happiness in the little things you observe (even a flower growing in a patch of weeds on a city street corner)...
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Old 07-12-2010, 08:22 AM   #32
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Hi Dex,

I am sorry that you are feeling down. For me, many times it is because of something physical going on. Recently I had a lingering sinus infection; I felt tired and depressed - kind of like mediocre misery. I went to the doctor, and was amazed at how much better I felt in a few days.

It also helps to have a good friend to go to, and be able to share what is really bothering me in my life, "a bitch session." It seems to empty out those negative feelings. Eventually the session evolves into a laughter and silly session, and I feel so much more connected and alive!

Hope you feel better soon!
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Old 07-12-2010, 08:39 AM   #33
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Dex,
Re: the cognitive psychology, I would recommend "Learned optimism" by Marty Seligman

He is one of the founders of the field. The books is quite easy to read and I found it to be very good.

I saw an interview of Merle Haggard on TV yesterday and he said something that caught my attention. "I was 50 and then suddenly, here I am at 70!".. or something to that effect. Made me recommit to doing new and interesting things daily! Ofcourse, here I am - on the computer YET AGAIN!
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Old 07-12-2010, 09:05 AM   #34
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When I start feeling depressed for whatever, I found exercising really helped me totally.
Have you tried that?
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Old 07-12-2010, 09:30 AM   #35
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I find that if I have something to look forward to I'm better with depression. For some reason I get a little low after the season goes on for a while. Right now, mid-summer, I'm a little low. It will happen again during mid-winter too. When those low points happen, I tend to reach for something to look forward to. Last winter was a cruise. This summer, I'm researching Pilates apparatus and taking a class. I always seem to require something I'm reaching for in the future.
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:20 AM   #36
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Well, things are really bad out there. Many things we knew were happening for a long time finally coming home to roost. It's not just that the news is always negative. I remember not long ago the news was reporting the debt clock was turned off, 28% returns, the cold war was over, Dow 26,000, tax cuts, new medicare benefits, housing prices rising, we're all gonna be rich... Ignore what is happening to your peril.

I've found reading instead of listening or watching the news is much less emotional. Then do something about what you've read. Make your situation better. Work out, move your money around, eat more nutritious food, read something that improves your mind, do those repairs, get out in nature...
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Old 07-12-2010, 10:27 AM   #37
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I'm interested in why the mood of the board has turned negative lately, especially since I showed up here around six months ago.

Retirees + stock market crash + pitifully low interest rates = negative mood?

That gets me off the hook, anyway....
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Old 07-12-2010, 11:00 AM   #38
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Dex, I find that limiting my media exposure is a great help. Turn off the "news" and ignore the lunatic alarmists. They will always be there.

There could be physical stuff going on. I was amazed at how much better and upbeat I felt this past winter when I started taking vit D supplements. I must have been horribly deficient.
I had some 5K vitamin D around the house - I will start them today.

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Maybe its just that you need a change of pace or a new challenge. Is there a place you have always wanted to go, a hobby you have neglected, or something else out of your normal routine that might appeal? Would something with a goal help?
Once I listed all the countries I've been to - it was in the area of 20-25 and to many of the states, including Hawaii but not Alaska. So travel for me doesn't hold the allure any more. I do want to try a cruse - maybe to Alaska.

I think you are correct about hobbies and volunteering - I need to get involved with communities for the times I'm not Rving. In a way I know this is my challenge in life - people.

We all created our coping techniques when young. And they can work. But, any strength overused or taken to an extreme, it can become a weakness. To survive my early years, I worked (had a job at 12-13) and then from 15 on (including college) it was 30 hrs during school and full time during the summers. During that time I had friends but I was probably closer to them then them to me. In other words few close relationships. I exchanged a few e-mails with a girlfriend from when I was 20-25 and told her about my ER. She said I always was a 'free bird'. I was shocked; I never thought of myself that way. When I asked her what she meant; it was that I went my own way and did what I wanted. When guys I knew when I was a teenager heard what I was doing the response was - that sound like him.

My early behavior worked to get me our of poorish family and into a white collar job while most of those I grew up with didn't . I'm not sure exactly how I would characterize the coping technique I'm describing. Because, I can not say I made positive choices - meaning I went to college because I know I didn't want to do manual labor. I majored in finance because I couldn't spell and was not good at liberal arts. When I made a job change at work was because I was bored. So I had a guardian angel because I didn't really know what I was doing. Although, I could make it look coherent.

Looking at it I guess my coping mechanism was the distraction of school and work, and few close relationships with people (and I might add hiding behind logical thinking, if you couldn't tell). This is not a good combination for ER. But, I do have to say that this cloud I'm under now is the first in 4 years. In my mind, I know this will pass and will hopefully more me along in my life's challenge. But, it sucks all the same.

I think I knew this phase would come. That is why I made that other post about the phases of ER.
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Old 07-12-2010, 11:04 AM   #39
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I think I knew this phase would come. That is why I made that other post about the phases of ER.
Dex, if you categorize your ER as phases, and this is the discouraging phase 2- What does a perfect Phase 3 look like for you? And beyond that?
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Old 07-12-2010, 11:28 AM   #40
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Dex, if you categorize your ER as phases, and this is the discouraging phase 2- What does a perfect Phase 3 look like for you? And beyond that?
That is a good question - let me think about that one.

I would add one other insight to my previous post - primary motivation of love vs fear (FYI - I'm writing this for myself and others might find some insight.)

You could look at a primary focus for a person as loving to do something or doing something because they are motivated out of fear. I think I lean towards the fear side. I've had a lot of positions while working - so I have been able to overcome job insecurity. The point is, being motivated by love provides you with options; being motivated by fear provides you with a void e.g. I fear being bored in the future; does not provide a solution; while I love helping people provides you with options.

Enough navel gazing for now. I'll think about your question. But, I think it can be gleamed from my previous post.
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