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Old 06-19-2011, 12:41 AM   #21
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I am sorry to hear about your troubles. You are a good person, one in ten thousand. If your friend can't realize that, it really is her loss. HaHa is right. There are many, many women that would love to take her place.
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Old 06-19-2011, 12:46 AM   #22
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You seem to be a very nice and compassionate person, so I am sorry to hear that somebody would be so hurtful to you. I guess you will have to let time do its thing.
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Old 06-19-2011, 01:28 AM   #23
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So sorry to hear about your situation and wishing the best for you. Take care of yourself, though I know that can be hard sometimes when you are hurting.
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Old 06-19-2011, 05:28 AM   #24
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Sorry that happened.

It will be difficult... but try to not make yourself crazy over it by replaying what happened and why. Try to quickly come to some conclusions about the experience and put it behind you.

If there is a bright side to it (and I know there is not)... the words "girl friend" is it... while it may not feel like it emotionally, at least you will not have to endure the legal process (and the insult of paying financially).

Be well and resolve yourself to set a course toward a new beginning.
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Old 06-19-2011, 05:28 AM   #25
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Sorry to hear about this obgyn. I'm now assuming it is over between you two. It sounds broken beyond repair. You mentioned on another thread that you kept your assets separated. Maybe that was a good thing after all. As Haha said, you are an incredibly gifted person with a heart as big as Montana, so there will be plenty of better options, should you so choose.

Hope that even though life has now handed you a big lemon, that you can find the fortitude to just make some lemonade. We're all rooting for you.

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Old 06-19-2011, 06:04 AM   #26
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Very sorry obgyn65, I wish I had the words to provide some comfort. Sometimes 'bad things happen to good people.'

At least you found out before things got even more serious for what that's worth.

I am sure you've had painful setbacks in life, like all of us, and gone on to be very happy and content again. When something bad happens to me or someone I care about, I always reflect on the serious life issues I've survived and prospered after in the past and it makes me see I'll be more than fine again - in fact better than ever eventually. Whatever the latest issue is, it's almost never the worst thing that has ever happened to me. The reflection always seems to help me, and it's helped others I know too.

Consciously forcing myself to live in the present and not focus on the past makes all the difference in the world to me too. Maybe something that could be helpful to remind yourself of too.

'This too shall pass.'

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Old 06-19-2011, 06:29 AM   #27
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Very sorry about that. Keep reminding yourself that it's not your fault. These things can just happen. You'll gradually get over it and move on with your life. Best of luck.
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Old 06-19-2011, 06:59 AM   #28
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I can't add anything that has not been said. Sorry this happened.
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Old 06-19-2011, 07:20 AM   #29
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I just would like to thank all of you who posted above. It is very nice to read all the messages and your support. I truly appreciate it.

Thank you also to those who sent hugs. They meant a lot to me.

This weekend I am volunteering at a free clinic, trying to keep focused.

My girlfriend was a great person but I guess cheating is something I cannot forget or forgive. I know it will take time.

Take care everyone.
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Old 06-19-2011, 07:51 AM   #30
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I wish you the best moving on after this setback. The hard part may be getting back out and meeting other women.
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Old 06-19-2011, 08:31 AM   #31
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Been there, done that. It hurts like hell.

Just know that it is best to find out now before you invested any more of yourself in the relationship, and know that in the long run it is better to know now and that you can cut your losses and run.

One of the nicest things DW ever said to me (speaking of ex-wife) was "Her loss!"

This too shall pass and your future will be better without her in it.
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Old 06-19-2011, 08:48 AM   #32
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So sorry this has happened to you . It's her loss because you seem to be a great guy !
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Old 06-19-2011, 09:05 AM   #33
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If this is any consolation at all, it is better that you found out now than later after you got married. Your gain, her loss. She does not deserve you.
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Old 06-19-2011, 09:15 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KingB View Post
If this is any consolation at all, it is better that you found out now than later after you got married. Your gain, her loss. She does not deserve you.
I agree.

Who wore the ring to signify your "commitment" (from a prior post, regardless of a "legal" bond)?

You deserve better.

Take care...
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Old 06-19-2011, 09:27 AM   #35
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Obgyn65 - I am sorry for your sadness and feelings of betrayal. They are bitter feelings for sure.

Moving forward along whatever path we are on is the only option in life. I hope that path leads you to a peaceful place.
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Old 06-19-2011, 09:28 AM   #36
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Obgyn,
I feel great empathy for your situation. Truly, she doesn't deserve you - and the good works you manifest in this world. Betrayal is one of the most difficult issues to move beyond. I agree with the others: it is good that the relationship did not move beyond into marriage.

For you, please accept these flowers, a hug, and my pure, positive energy
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Old 06-19-2011, 09:42 AM   #37
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Major Bummer. Know it well.

From an old Ziggy Cartoon I kept on my fridge for years, except for the first line.

Grieve

Pick yourself up.
Dust yourself off.
Start all over again.

It will get better.
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Old 06-19-2011, 10:14 AM   #38
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Life is often unfair to those of us who are caring and honest. I am sorry you were hoodwinked.

Try to make some lemonade from those lemons...just imagine if you had married this woman and she continued to lie and be unfaithful to you. Argh.

Pick yourself up and move forward as best you can.
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Old 06-19-2011, 10:36 AM   #39
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Stride on obgyn65 - sounds like you have a good attitude on the relationship. You aren't demonizing the woman; you got together because you were attracted to her qualities. Long distance relationships are difficult, I understand relationships with doctors add a layer of difficulty.

In med school there were those who fell by the wayside and those who moved forward, sounds like she is one who fell and you are moving forward. Good luck, do good and well, find peace. Thoughts go out to you...
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Old 06-19-2011, 10:53 AM   #40
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Infidelity is among the worst non-criminal behaviors I can think of because of the high level of dishonor and cowardice involved. It's hard to make it known, "I used to love Y, but now I have feelings for X that are so strong, I must leave Y to be with X." So much easier, to say, "I will hide X from Y and enjoy them both as long as I can." Bleagh.

The specially bad part is that you believe so strongly in commitment, which she must have known. As the kind of person who sneaked around behind your back, she made a fool of herself and devalued herself, although it may not feel that way to either of you right now.

The best way I know of to dishonor a person who has dishonored me, is to pretend he/she doesn't even exist. Put them in a mental box, and throw the box in the river. I don't know if that could work for you, but it is my way.

Hope your heart heals soon,

Amethyst
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